The students of Scary School commenced the usual procedure for assembly. They gathered upon the vast wooden hands of Petrified Pavilion and were fed into its eternally screaming mouth—the only permissible means of entry into its grand hall.
The first thing the students noticed when they entered the pavilion was that it felt like a freezer. Usually it’s much warmer inside than outside on a winter day, but today it was like walking into a meat locker. In the bleachers, everyone was shivering and huddling together for warmth. Their combined breath formed a fine mist that hung above their heads. The kids prayed they wouldn’t end up frozen.
Charles Nukid searched the crowd for Penny in hopes that they might get to sit together, but Penny was with her class at the opposite side of the pavilion. She didn’t seem to be looking for him. Charles grimaced and huddled next to his friend Bryce McCallister, whose cold vampire body wasn’t any help.
Principal Headcrusher, with her frizzy black hair and hands the size of Hula-Hoops, stepped up to the podium and raised her palms to her mouth. All the students quickly stuck their fingers in their ears so that their eardrums wouldn’t explode.
“Good morning, students. I’m happy to say that I have a wonderful surprise for all of you.”
The students said a silent good-bye to their vital appendages.
“For the first time, Scary School has been invited to participate in a student exchange program with another school in the Scary community. Six students will be chosen to spend a week at Scream Academy, my proud alma mater, widely regarded as the scariest school in the world. The students chosen will be those who not only have the best chance at survival but who also best represent the human race.”
Every kid hoped they would not be the ones chosen to go.
“I have been assured that this exchange has absolutely nothing to do with the Wise Wizard’s Prophecy that a human child will have to battle the scariest monster in the world to decide the fate of all monsterkind. So no need to worry about that.”
Everyone looked around at one another, clearly worried about that.
“The selector of those lucky six students is none other than the principal of Scream Academy, who will be staying with us for the week and observing all of you very closely. Would you like to meet him?”
All the students shook their heads no.
“Too bad! Please give a very cold round of applause for the abominable snowman himself, Principal Rolf Meltington!” Principal Headcrusher turned to the side and yodeled, “Snowa-lowa-lay-hee-hoo!”
The side door flung open, and a blizzard of snow flew into the pavilion. The frost whipped through the hall like a flying avalanche. Zombie kid Benny Porter had forgotten his beanie and keeled over from zombie brain freeze. Nurse Hairymoles had to quickly turn him into an ice monster to save him. Benny learned a very valuable life lesson about not forgetting to bring his beanie to school. Of course it was too late to apply that lesson, but it was learned nonetheless.
The snow settled behind the podium and began to form itself into Principal Meltington—the abominable snowman. The students gasped when they saw him. They thought he would look like a furry white Sasquatch, but he looked more like an actual snowman that had come to life. Instead of a big ball of snow for his lower section, he had thick snow legs. His arms were jagged tree branches. He sported a black stovepipe hat, a long carrot nose, and button eyes, and his mouth looked like it was scooped out of his face.
When he spoke into the podium microphone, his voice sounded deep and ominous, like a roll of thunder in the far distance.
“Thank you, Principal Headcrusher. And thank you to the students for accommodating my climatological needs. The pavilion is a little warm for my taste, but I don’t think I’ll be melting anytime soon.”
The students’ teeth were chattering, and icicles were hanging from their noses. He wanted it colder?
“I’ll make this brief so you won’t turn into human Popsicles before my button eyes. As I observe you this week, please don’t do anything out of the ordinary or feel the need to impress me. Simply be yourselves, and that will be the best way for me to judge who is worthy of visiting Scream Academy, which, as Principal Headcrusher said, has nothing to do with the terrible prophecy that a human child will have to battle the scariest monster of all time next week. Remember to bring your warmest clothes, as this bitter cold follows me wherever I go. Also, I will need a fresh carrot each morning to replace my nose or else I won’t be able to properly smell your fear. Principal Headcrusher is the only human to ever attend Scream Academy, and perhaps she has proven with this school that more human children will be able to attend in the future. Nobody thinks you have a chance of survival, but hopefully you’ll prove them wrong. Have an ‘ice’ day.”
Principal Meltington paused for laughter at his pun. Nobody laughed. So he said it again in a more ominous voice. “Have an ice . . . day!” The students realized he wasn’t going to leave until they laughed, so they chuckled politely, pretending to just get it.
Satisfied, Principal Meltington waved his arms and turned himself back into a blizzard, but before flying off, Meltington’s head popped out and said, “Oh, I almost forgot. Have any of you ever battled a dragon as large as a mountain?”
Everyone gulped. A mountain? The largest dragon any of them had ever seen was Dr. Dragonbreath, and he was only nine feet. And no one would battle him for a million dollars!
Seeing not a single hand raised, Meltington said, “Ah, well, that’s a shame. Again, nothing to do with the prophecy.” The doors swung open, and the snow that filled the pavilion lifted up and flew out the door with Meltington.
The students would have applauded, but their arms were frozen stiff.
“That’s all. Back to your classes!” proclaimed Principal Headcrusher.
The students of Mr. Acidbath’s class couldn’t decide whether they preferred to stay in the pavilion and freeze to death or go back to class and deal with the acid rain.
Sometimes life comes down to a choice of the lesser of two evils. Like who to vote for in a class election when you don’t like either kid running. It was a tough call, but the students decided to head back to class, where they could at least face their doom with warm hearts and minds.