Note: This leap into the perceptual world of "patterns" is age-linked and predictable. It sets in motion the development of a whole range of skills and activities. However, the age at which these skills and activities appear for the first time varies greatly and depends on your baby's preferences, experimentation and physical development. For example, the ability to perceive patterns emerges at about 8 weeks, and is a necessary precondition for "sitting with minimal support," but this skill normally appears anywhere from 2 to 6 months. Skills and activities are mentioned in this chapter at the earliest possible age they might appear so you can watch for and recognize them. (They may be rudimentary at first.) This way you can respond to and facilitate your baby's development.
Sometime around 8 weeks, your baby will begin to experience the world in a new way. He will become able to recognize simple patterns in the world around him and in his own body. Although it may be hard for us to imagine at first, this happens in all the senses, not just vision. For example, he may discover his hands and feet and spend hours practicing his skill at controlling a certain posture of his arm or leg. He'll be endlessly fascinated with the way light displays shadows on the wall of his bedroom. You might notice him studying the detail of cans on the grocery store shelf or listening to himself making short bursts of sounds, such as ah, uh, ehh.
Any of these things—and a whole lot more—signal a big change in your baby's mental development. This change will enable him to learn a new set of skills that he would have been incapable of learning at an earlier age, no matter how much help and encouragement you gave him. But just as in his previous developmental leap, adjusting to this new world will not come easily at first.
The change in the way your baby perceives the world around him will initially make him feel puzzled, confused, and bewildered as his familiar world is turned upside down. He suddenly sees, hears, smells, tastes, and feels in a completely new way, and he will need time to adjust. To come to terms with what is happening to him, he needs to be somewhere safe and familiar. Until he begins to feel more comfortable in this new world, he will want to cling to his mommy for comfort. This time, the fussy phase could last anywhere from a few days to 2 weeks.
If you notice your baby is more cranky than usual, watch him closely. It's likely he's attempting to master new skills.
Once you're over the hump, however, you will probably experience this second leap as a real milestone in your child's development. As he begins to learn to control his body and use his senses to explore what interests him, he will start to express his own preferences. You'll learn what he likes and doesn't like, whether he listens more keenly to particular kinds of sounds, which colors he prefers, what kinds of toys or activities he enjoys, and whose face makes him light up most—beside yours, of course. These are the first signs of your baby's newly emerging personality.
Sometime between 7 and 9 weeks of age, your baby may become more demanding. She may cry more often, as this is her way of expressing how stressful these changes are to her. At this age, crying is the most effective way to show she feels lost and needs attention. More sensitive babies will sob and scream even more now than they did before and drive their mothers and fathers to distraction. Even when everything possible is done to console these tiny screamers, they may still continue to wail.
Most babies will calm down, however, when they experience close physical contact, although for some babies it can never be close enough. If such a tiny cuddler had her way, she would crawl right back into her mommy. She would like to be totally enveloped in her mother's arms, legs, and body. She may demand her mother's undivided attention and will protest as soon as it wanders.
It's time to change again! Here are some clues that this leap is approaching.
Your baby may want you to spend more time amusing her. She may even want you to be totally absorbed in her, and only her. At this time, many babies no longer want to lie in their cribs or on blankets on the floor, even if they had always been happy to do so until now. They may not object to lying in baby chairs, just as long as their mothers are close by. But their ultimate goal is to be with their mommies. They want their mothers to look at them, talk to them, and play with them.
"Suddenly, my baby doesn't like going to bed at night. She becomes restless and starts screaming and crying and refuses to settle down. But we need some peace and quiet, too. So we keep her with us on the couch, or hold and cuddle her, and then she's no trouble at all."
Eve's mom, 8th week
She May Become Shy with Strangers
You may notice that your friendly bundle may not smile so easily at people she does not see often, or she may need more time to warm up to them. Occasionally, some babies will even start crying if other people try to get near them when they are lying contentedly snuggled up to their moms. Some mothers think this is a pity: "She always used to be so cheerful." Others are secretly pleased: "After all, I'm the one who's there for her all the time."
"My daughter seems to smile more for me than anyone else. It takes her a little longer to loosen up with other people now."
Ashley's mom, 9th week
She May Lose Her Appetite
At this time, it may seem that if your baby had her way, she'd be on the breast or bottle all day long. But although she is latched onto the nipple, you may notice that she hardly takes any milk at all. Many babies will do this now. As long as they feel a nipple in or against their mouths, they are content. But as soon as they are taken off the breast or the bottle, they start protesting and continue to cry until they feel the nipple again.
This generally occurs only in babies who are allowed to decide for themselves when they want to nurse. Some mothers who breastfeed may begin to think that there is something wrong with their milk supplies, while other mothers question whether the decision to breastfeed was the right one after all. It is not necessary to stop breastfeeding at this point; on the contrary, this would not be a very good time to choose to wean your baby. During this stormy period, the breast is serving as less of a nutritional purpose and more of a comfort to the baby. This explains why some babies will suck their thumbs or fingers more often during this period.
"Sometimes I feel like a walking milk bottle, on standby 24 hours a day. It really irritates me. I wonder if other mothers who breastfeed go through the same thing."
Matt's mom, 9th week
She May Cling to You More Tightly
Your baby may now hold on to you even tighter the moment she senses that she is about to be set down. Not only will she cling to you with her fingers, she may even cling to you with her toes! This show of devotion often makes it difficult for a mother to put her baby down, both literally and figuratively. You may find it touching and heart-wrenching at the same time.
"When I bend over to put my infant down, she clutches at my hair and clothes as if she's terrified to lose contact. It's really sweet, but I wish she wouldn't do it, because it makes me feel so guilty about setting her down."
Laura's mom, 9th week
At a difficult time like this, your baby may not sleep as well as she did before. She may start crying the moment you carry her into her bedroom, which explains why parents sometimes think that their babies are afraid of their cribs. Various sleeping problems may affect your little one. Some babies have difficulty falling asleep, while others are easily disturbed and do not sleep for long periods. Whatever sleeping problems your baby may have, they all have the same result: lack of sleep for everybody in the house. Unfortunately, this also means that your baby is awake for longer periods, giving her more opportunities to cry.
She May Just Cry and Cry
At approximately 8 weeks, it's normal for your baby to have an urgent desire to go "back to mommy." Some infants, of course, will demonstrate this need more than others. Crying and clinging may become part of your everyday life around this age. It is a sign that your baby is making healthy progress, that she is reacting to the changes within her, and that she is taking a leap forward in her development.
Your little one is upset simply because she hasn't yet had time to adjust to these changes and is still confused. This is why she needs to have you around. She wants to return "home," to her safe haven, where she can feel secure in familiar surroundings. With you, she will gain enough confidence to explore her new world.
Imagine what it must be like to feel upset with no one around to comfort you. You'd feel the tension mounting and not know what to do. You'd need all your energy just to cope with the stress, and you'd have little strength left to solve your problems. Your baby is no different. To her, every time a big change in her mental development occurs, she feels as if she has woken up in a brand-new world. She will be confronted with more new impressions than she can handle. She cries, and she will continue to cry until she becomes accustomed enough to her new world to feel at ease. If she is not comforted, all her energy will be used just for crying, and she will be wasting valuable time that she could put to much better use discovering her new and puzzling world.
Signs My Baby Is Growing Again
Between 7 and 9 weeks, you may notice your baby starting to show some of the following behaviors. They are probably signs that he is ready to make the next leap, when the world of patterns will open up to him. Check off the boxes next to the behaviors your baby shows.
OTHER CHANGES YOU NOTICE:
These major changes in your baby will have a tremendous impact on you as well. Here are some of the ways they may affect you.
When a baby goes through an inexplicable crying fit, life can unravel for everyone around her. Babies who cry a lot more than they used to can wear down even the most confident of moms. If this is your situation, you may begin to wonder whether you're really fit for the job. But don't despair: Your experience is very normal. The average baby will cry noticeably more than usual and will also be a lot more difficult to comfort. Only a small number of mothers are lucky enough to not have any particular worries about their babies at this age. These mothers have infants who are unusually easygoing or quiet, who won't cry much more than usual, and who are generally easier to comfort.
Temperamental, irritable babies are the most difficult ones to deal with. They will seem to cry 10 times louder and more frequently, and they will thrash around as if they were in boxing rings. Their mothers often worry that the whole family will fall apart.
"It's a nightmare, the way my baby goes on and on. She cries all of the time and hardly sleeps at all at the moment. Our marriage is going to pieces. My husband comes home in the evening, dragging his feet, because he can't face another night of torment. We're having constant arguments about how to stop her awful crying."
Jenny's mom, 7th week
"When my son won't stop crying, I always go to him, although I've reached the stage where I could agree with statements such as 'Children just need to cry sometimes.' I feel so drained. But then I start thinking about how thin these apartments walls are, and so I end up going to him again, hoping I'll be able to get him to settle down this time."
Steven's mom, 9th week
"Sometimes, when my daughter cries and won't stop no matter what I do, I get so upset that I take it out on my poor husband. I often have a good cry myself, which does help to relieve the tension a bit."
Emily's mom, 10th week
"Some days when I'm at a low ebb, I wonder if I'm doing the right thing, if I'm giving my son enough attention or too much. It's so typical that it was on one of those difficult days that I read that babies smile at their mothers when they're 6 weeks old. Mine never did. He only smiled to himself, and that really undermined my confidence. Then suddenly, this evening, he grinned at me. Tears welled up in my eyes, it was so touching. I know this sounds ridiculous, but for a moment I felt like he was trying to tell me it was okay, that he was with me all the way."
Bob's mom, 9th week
At this time, when your baby cries more than usual, you may be desperate to figure out why. You may wonder, "Is my milk supply drying up? Is she ill? Am I doing something wrong? Does she have a wet diaper? When she's on my lap, she's fine—does this mean I'm spoiling her?"
When every other avenue has been explored, some mothers finally decide it has to be colic that's upsetting their babies. Their tiny screamers do seem to be writhing around a lot, after all. Some mothers even have a good cry themselves. It is a particularly hard time for first-time moms, who tend to blame themselves. Occasionally, a mother will go to see her doctor, or she will bring the problem up with the pediatrician.
"Normally my baby never cries. He's so easygoing, as easy as they come. But this week he had terrible problems: stomach cramps, I presume."
John's mom, 9th week
Whatever you do, don't despair—tell yourself it is not your fault! Try to remember that this is your young baby's way of telling you that she is now capable of learning new skills, which means that her mind is developing well. At this age, her crying is normal and only temporary.
You May Be Irritated and Defensive
As soon as you are convinced that your noisy little infant has no valid reason to keep crying and clinging to you, you may feel irritated. You may think that she's ungrateful and spoiled. You still have so much housework to do, and her crying is driving you mad. Plus, you're exhausted. Well, you're not alone. Most mothers have these feelings. Many mothers worry that their babies' fathers, family, friends, or neighbors may regard "mommy's little sweetheart" as a "complete nuisance." They may become defensive when other people tell them to be more stern with their babies.
"Is this what I gave my job up for—8 weeks of crying? I'm at my wit's end. I really don't know what more I can do."
Jenny's mom, 8th week
"It really drives me up the wall when I finally get my baby to sleep after comforting her for an hour, and she starts whimpering again the moment that I set her down. She's only happy when I'm holding her. This irritates me to no end. I don't get a chance to do anything else."
Laura's mom, 8th week
"I had to keep my son occupied all day long. Nothing really helped. I tried walking around, stroking him, and singing. At first I felt completely helpless and depressed, and then suddenly, I felt really frustrated. I sat down and just started sobbing. So I asked the day care center if they would have him for two afternoons a week, just to give me a few hours to recharge my batteries. His crying sometimes drains me completely. I'm so tired. I'd just like to know how much both of us can take."
Bob's mom, 9th week
Shaking Can Be Harmful
Having violent feelings about a demanding little screamer is not dangerous, but acting on those feelings is. Whatever you do, don't ever let yourself get into such a state that you might harm him. Never shake a baby. Shaking a young child is one of the worst things that you can do. It could easily cause internal bleeding just below the skull, which can result in brain damage that may lead to learning difficulties later on or even death.
You May Really Lose It
Only rarely will a mother admit to having been a bit rougher than necessary when putting her baby down because she was so irritated by the baby's screaming and crying. If this does happen, it is always a disturbing experience, especially because it seemed to be a gut reaction at the time.
"My daughter cried even more this week than she did last week. It drove me crazy. I had more than enough to do as it was. I had her in my arms, and on the spur of the moment, I threw her onto her changing mat on the dresser. Afterward, I was shocked by what I'd done, and at the same time I realized it hadn't helped the situation at all. She screamed even louder. After it happened, I understood what drives some parents to abuse their children during these 'colic fits,' but I never thought I'd do something like that myself."
Juliette's mom, 9th week
Because you are concerned about your baby's clinginess, you will automatically keep an extra close eye on her. At the back of your mind, you may have these nagging doubts: "What is the matter with her? Why is she being so troublesome? What can I do? Am I spoiling her? Should she be doing more at this age? Is she bored? Why is she unable to amuse herself?" Soon you'll realize what's really going on—your infant is attempting to master new skills.
Cuddle Care: The Best Way to Comfort
A baby of this age loves to be picked up, caressed, and cuddled. You can never give him too much of a good thing.
At approximately 8 weeks, you will notice that your baby is opening up to her new world: a world of observing and experimenting with simple patterns. She will be ready to acquire several pattern skills at this time, but your baby, with her unique inclinations, preferences, and temperament, will choose which discoveries she wants to make. You can help her do what she is ready to do.
Don't try to push her. While you may think she should be practicing holding a ball (for her future softball career), she may prefer to make her first attempts at talking by babbling to her toys. Let her go at her own pace and respect her preferences. It may be hard on you if you're tone deaf and your baby is keen on sounds. Don't worry. She doesn't need symphonies just yet—talking and humming will do very well.
About this age, your baby no longer experiences the world and himself as one universe. He will start to recognize recurring shapes, patterns, and structures. For instance, your baby may now discover that his hands belong to him. At this age, your son will look at them in wonder and wave them around. Once he realizes that they are his, your baby may also try to use his hands by closing them around a toy, for instance. Not only does he begin to see patterns in the world around him, at this time your baby may begin to distinguish patterns in sounds, smells, tastes, and textures, too. In other words, your little tyke now perceives patterns with all of his senses. This new awareness is not just confined to what is going on outside his body—it also includes an enhanced perception of what is happening inside his body. For instance, now your baby may realize that holding his arm in the air feels different than letting it hang down. At the same time, he may also gain more control from within. Your son may be able to maintain certain positions, not only with his head, body, arms and legs, but also with smaller areas of his body. For example, he may start to make all kinds of faces, now that he has more control over his facial muscles. He might make explosive sounds because he can keep his vocal cords in a certain position. He may focus more sharply on an object because he has more control over his eye muscles.
Many of the reflexes that your baby had at birth will start to disappear at this age. They will be replaced by something similar to a voluntary movement. He no longer needs the gripping reflex, for example, because your baby is now able to learn how to close his hand around a toy or other object. Your baby doesn't use the sucking reflex anymore because he is able to latch onto a nipple in one single movement, instead of finding it by what appears to be sheer coincidence after nuzzling for a while. By now, your infant is no longer completely dependent on reflexes. In general, babies will only resort to their old reflexes if they are hungry or upset.
Brain Changes
At approximately 7 to 8 weeks, a baby's head circumference dramatically increases. Researchers have recorded changes in the brain waves of babies 6 to 8 weeks old.
Check off the boxes below as you notice your baby changing. Stop filling this out once the next stormy period begins, heralding the coming of the next leap.
A new world of possibilities opens up to your baby when he's 8 weeks old. Your baby cannot possibly discover at once everything there is to explore in this new world—although some babies will try to sample everything. Exactly when your baby starts to do what will depend on his preferences and the opportunities offered to him.
Each chapter from now on will list behaviors that your baby may be doing that signal that he has entered his new world. Look for the sections like this one called "How My Baby Explores the New World. " Each list is divided up into activity areas, such as "body control" and "looking and seeing. " As you move through the book, you may notice a pattern emerging. Each baby has a completely distinctive profile and you should be aware that your baby will not demonstrate at this time many of the skills listed —some will appear later and some will be skipped altogether. Don't forget: All babies have different talents.
BODY CONTROL
HAND CONTROL
LOOKING AND SEEING
LISTENING AND CHATTING
OTHER CHANGES YOU NOTICE
Even so, your baby's first intentional movements are very different from those of an adult. His movements will be quite jerky, rigid, and stiff, like those of a puppet, and they will remain like this until the next big change occurs.
Why are all babies unique? They have all undergone the same changes and entered the same new world with new discoveries to make and new skills to learn. But every baby decides for himself what he wants to learn, and when, and how. He will choose what he considers the most appealing. Some babies will try to learn a variety of new skills, using one or more of their senses. Some will seem particularly interested in exploring this new world with their eyes. Some will prefer to try out their talking and listening skills. Others will try to become more adept with their bodies. This explains why a friend's baby may be doing something that your baby can't, or doesn't enjoy, and vice versa. A baby's likes and dislikes are determined by his unique makeup—his build, weight, temperament, inclination, and interests.
Babies love anything new. It is so very important that you respond when you notice any new skills or interests. Your baby will enjoy it if you share these new discoveries with him, and his learning will progress more quickly.
The best way to help your baby make this leap is to encourage her to develop the skills that she finds most interesting. When you notice her working on a new skill, show her that you're enthusiastic about every attempt she makes to learn something new. If you praise her, you'll make her feel good, and this will encourage her to continue. Try to find a balance between providing enough challenges and demanding too much of her. Try to discover what she enjoys doing most. Most importantly, stop as soon as you feel she has had enough of a game or toy.
Your baby may want or need to practice some games or activities on her own. As long as you show some enthusiasm, this will be sufficient to reassure her that she is doing well.
If your baby loves to explore her world with her eyes, you can help her by offering her all sorts of visual "patterns," for instance by showing her brightly colored objects. Make sure you move the object slowly across her line of vision, since this will draw her attention quicker and hold her interest longer. You can also try moving the object slowly backward and then forward, but make sure she is still able to see it move, otherwise she will lose interest.
When your baby is in a playful mood, she may become bored if she always sees, hears, or feels the same objects in the same old surroundings. It's very normal for babies of this age to show boredom, as their new awareness of patterns also means that they understand when things are repetitious. For the first time in her life, your baby may get fed up with the same plaything, the same view, the same sound, the same feel of an object, and the same taste. She will crave variety and learn from it. If she seems bored, keep her stimulated. Carry her around in your arms or provide her with some different objects to look at.
How to Tell When He's Had Enough
Practicing a new skill is fun, but it can also be tiring for a baby. When he's had enough for a while, he will usually let you know with some very clear body signals. For example, he may look away, or if he is physically strong enough, he may turn his body away from you
Stop the game or activity as soon as you notice that your baby has had enough. Sometimes he will only want a short break before resuming a game or activity with renewed enthusiasm, but don't push him. He needs time to let it all sink in. Always let your baby's responses guide you.
At this time, toys may not be as interesting to your baby as the myriad interesting "real things" in her world. Your home is full of items that may fascinate your baby, such as books, photographs, pets, cooking utensils, and even your eyeglasses. If your baby suddenly prefers the "real thing" to her toys, she will need your help. At this age, she cannot get close enough to objects on her own. She needs you to either take her to the object or pick it up and show it to her. If you notice that she likes looking at "real things," help her do this.
"My baby likes looking at everything: paintings, books on shelves, items in the kitchen cupboard. I have to take her everywhere. I even carry her in my arms when I go outside or when I go shopping."
Hannah's mom, 11th week
At this age, your baby may notice that familiar objects keep waving across her line of vision. If she investigates, she'll discover her hands or feet. She may gaze at them in wonder and begin to study them in detail. Every baby has her own way of investigating this new phenomenon. Some babies will need a lot of time to complete their investigations, while other babies won't. Most babies have a particular fondness for hands. Perhaps this happens because their tiny hands pass by more often.
Hands and arms can be in a myriad of different postures. Each posture is another pattern to be seen and felt. Allow your baby to study her hands as long and as often as she wants. A baby has to learn what her hands are for before she can learn to use them properly. Therefore, it is very important for her to get to know all about these "touching devices."
"My little darling studies every detail of how his hands move. He plays quite delicately with his fingers. When he's lying down, he holds his hand in the air then spreads his fingers. Sometimes he opens and closes his fingers, one at a time. Or he clasps his hands together or lets them touch. It's one continuous flowing movement."
Bob's mom, 9th week
Have you noticed your baby attempting to use her hands by trying to clasp a rattle, for instance? Also, in holding a plaything, a feeling pattern is involved of that hand position plus the object touching the palm of the hand. A baby's first attempts at grasping an object are generally far from successful. Show her that you are enthusiastic about the effort she is making and encourage each serious attempt. Praise from you will encourage her to continue.
"My son is trying to grab things! His little hand gropes in the direction of his rattle, or he tries to hit it. A moment later he tries to grab the rattle, using a proper clasping motion. He puts a lot of effort into it. When he thinks he's got it, he clenches his fist, but the rattle is still a few inches away. The poor darling realizes his mistake, gets frustrated, and starts to cry."
Paul's mom, 11th week
Try to bear in mind that at this age your baby is definitely not yet able to reach out and touch the things that she wants to grab. She is only capable of closing her hands around an object. Make sure that you always place easy-to-grab toys near her waving hands. Your baby will then be able to touch the object and practice closing and opening her hands whenever she wants.
A baby's greatest passion is the latest sounds that she makes herself. This is why you should try to respond to every sound your young infant makes. Your baby's greatest passion might be to make explosive sounds, because from this leap onward she can keep her vocal cords in a certain position. Just like a hand position, a vocal cord position is a feeling pattern. Try to imitate your baby's sounds so that she can hear them from someone else. Respond when she uses sounds to attract your attention. These "conversations" are essential for her learning process, and they will teach her to take turns, listen, and imitate—skills which form the basis of communication. These chats will also teach her that her voice is an important tool, just like her hands are.
"My baby chats away, trying to attract my attention all day long. She listens to my voice as well. It's wonderful."
Hannah's mom, 11th week
Every mother tries to encourage her baby to "chat." Some mothers talk to their babies throughout their waking hours as a matter of course, whereas other mothers do this only at certain times, such as when their babies are on their laps. The disadvantage of planned chat times is that the baby may not always be in the right mood to listen and respond. It appears that babies whose mothers "plan" chat times do not always understand what is expected of them, and their mothers become easily discouraged because they think their babies are not responding properly yet.
Your baby may be ready for pull-up games. A little bruiser who is able to lift his head on his own may love being pulled up by his arms from a half-sitting position to an upright position or being pulled from a sitting position to standing. Be careful to support his heavy head. If he is very strong, he may even actively participate. This game teaches the baby how different postures feel and how to maintain them. Each of those postures is another "pattern" that your baby can perceive inside his body. If he cooperates in the pull-up game, he will jerk rather unsteadily from one position to the next. Once he has jerked into a certain position, he will want to retain it for a moment. Although his movements are still far from supple, he will love being in a certain position for a short while. He may even become very upset when you decide it's time to end the game.
"Suddenly, my son is jerking all over the place when I pull him onto his feet. He also makes jerky, spastic movements when he's lying naked on his changing mat. I don't know if this is normal. It worries me a bit."
Kevin's mom, 11th week
"If my baby had her way, she'd be on her feet all day, listening to me telling her how strong she is. If I don't rush in with compliments, she starts complaining."
Ashley's mom, 10th week
Fathers are usually the first to discover that babies enjoy these pull-up games, then mothers will follow, although they tend to be slightly more enthusiastic with baby boys than with baby girls.
Your baby will be more eager to learn when he is discovering a new world. He will learn faster, easier, and it will be more fun, if you give him the things that suit his personality
Very demanding babies will automatically get more attention, as their mothers strive to keep them amused and satisfied. These high-interest babies may become the best students of tomorrow if they are given the right help and encouragement in their early years.
Quiet babies are easily forgotten, because they don't demand as much attention from their mothers. Try to give a quiet baby just that little bit more encouragement and stimulation to get the best out of him
You may think that your infant should be able to be a little bit more independent now, because you notice the great pleasure he takes in his surroundings, his playthings, his own hands and feet, and because he enjoys lying flat on his back on the floor. You may start using the playpen for the first time at this stage. It's a good place to hang toys within easy reach of your baby's hands, allowing him to swipe at them or watch them swinging backward and forward You may also try to let your baby amuse himself for as long as possible, presenting him with new playthings when he gets bored With your help, your baby may be able to amuse himself for about 15 minutes at this age.
Top Games for This Wonder Week
These games and activities can be used when your baby enters the world of patterns. Before you start working your way down the list, look back at "How My Baby Explores the New World of Patterns" on page 68 to remind yourself of what your baby likes to do. And remember that the games that don't work for your baby right now may do later on when he's ready.
Give your baby ample opportunity and room to watch his hands and feet. He will need freedom of movement to take in every detail. The best thing to do is to put him on a large towel or blanket. If it is warm enough, let him play without his clothes on, since he will really enjoy the freedom of his naked body. If you want, you can tie a colorful ribbon around his hand or foot as an added attraction. If you do this, however, be sure it is securely attached and watch the baby closely so that he does not accidentally choke on the ribbon should it come loose
When your baby is in a talking mood, sit down and make yourself comfortable. Making sure that you have enough support in your back, draw your knees up, and lie your baby on his back on your thighs. From this position he can see you properly, and you'll be able to follow all of his reactions. Chat to him about anything: his beauty, his soft skin, his eyes, the events of the day, or your plans for later. The most important thing is the rhythm of your voice and your facial expression. Be sure you give him enough time to respond. This means being patient, waiting, smiling, nodding at him so that he realizes it takes two to have a conversation. Watch your baby's reactions to discover what he finds interesting. Remember that a talking mouth, together with a face that shifts from one expression to another, is usually a smash hit!
At this age, an inquisitive baby is still unable to grab objects that catch his eye to take a closer look. Until he is able to do this himself, he will have to rely on you to bring interesting objects to him. Remember, there are many interesting things in the house that will arouse his curiosity. Explain to him what he sees. He will enjoy listening to the intonation in your voice. Let him touch and feel whatever he seems to like.
You can only play this game if your baby is able to lift his head on his own. Sit down and make yourself comfortable. Make sure that you have enough support in your back. Draw your knees up and put your baby on your legs and tummy so that he is virtually in a half-sitting position. He will feel more comfortable like this. Now, hold his arms and pull him up slowly, until he is sitting upright, giving him words of encouragement at the same time, such as telling him what a clever little boy he is. Watch his reactions carefully, and only continue if you're sure he is cooperating and enjoying himself.
Water is a wonderful toy on its own. At this age, "water babies" in particular will enjoy watching water move. Place the baby on your stomach and show him drops and little streams of water running off your body onto his. Babies will also enjoy having small waves washed over their bodies. Lay him on his back on your stomach, and play "row, row, row your boat" together. Move back and forth slowly to the rhythm of the song, and make small waves. He will enjoy the feel of the waves running over his skin. After the freedom of the bath, he is likely to love being wrapped up snugly and securely in a warm towel and given a good cuddle!
Some babies catch on to new games and toys quickly, soon growing tired of doing the same things, day in and day out. They want new challenges, continual action, complicated games, and lots of variety. It can be extremely exhausting for mothers of these "bubbly" babies, because they run out of imagination, and their infants scream if they are not presented with one new challenge after another.
It is a proven fact that many highly gifted children were demanding, discontented babies. They were usually happy only as long as they were offered new and exciting challenges.
A new awareness or new world will offer new opportunities to learn additional skills. Some babies will explore their new world and make discoveries with great enthusiasm, but they demand constant attention and help in doing this. They have an endless thirst for knowledge. Unfortunately, they discover their new world with tremendous speed. They try out and acquire almost every skill the new world has to offer, then experiment a little before growing bored again. For mothers of babies like this, there is little more they can do than to wait for the next big change to occur.
Top Toys for This Wonder Week
Here are some toys and things that babies like as they explore the world of patterns.
"After every feeding, I put my son in the playpen for a while. I sometimes put him under a musical mobile that he likes to watch, and sometimes I put him under a trapeze with toys dangling from it, which he takes a swipe at every now and then. I must say, he's getting rather good at hitting them now."
Frankie's mom, 11th week
Around 10 weeks, another period of comparative ease sets in. Most mothers seem to put the concerns and anxieties of recent weeks quickly behind them. They sing their babies' praises and talk about them as if they had always been easygoing and cheerful babies.
What changes can you see in your baby at this stage? At approximately 10 weeks, your baby may no longer require as much attention as he did in the past. He is more independent. He is interested in his surroundings, in people, animals, and objects. It seems as if he suddenly understands and clearly recognizes a whole range of new things. His need to be with you constantly may also diminish at this time. If you pick him up, he may squirm and wriggle in discomfort and attempt to sit up in your arms as much as possible. The only time he may seem to need you now is when you are willing to show him things of interest. Your baby may have become so cheerful and busy amusing himself that life is much easier for you. You may feel a surge of energy. Lots of mothers regularly put babies of this age in their playpens, as they feel their children are ready for it now.
"My daughter suddenly seems much brighter. She's lost that newborn dependency. I'm not the only who's noticed. Everyone talks properly to her now, instead of making funny cooing noises."
Emily's mom, 10th week
"My baby seems wiser. She's become more friendly, happier, and even roars with laughter once in a while. Thank goodness she's stopped that incessant crying! Life has changed drastically from thinking 'How can I cope with her screaming?' to enjoying having her around now. Even her father looks forward to seeing her in the evening nowadays. He used to come home dragging his feet, dreading the probable torment of her non-stop crying. Now he loves being around her. He feeds and bathes her every evening."
Jenny's mom, 10th week
"My son no longer seems so vulnerable. I see a definite change in him now. He has progressed from just sitting on my lap to gaining a bit of independence and playing."
Steven's mom, 10th week
"I think my baby is really starting to develop into a real little person with a life of her own. At first, all she did was eat and sleep. Now she has a good stretch when I take her out of bed, just like grown-ups do."
Nina's mom, 10th week
"I don't know if there's any connection, but I certainly have noticed that I had a lot more energy this past week, and this coincided with my little boy's newfound independence. I must say I really enjoy watching the progress he's making. It's fascinating the way he laughs, enjoys himself, and plays. We seem to communicate better now. I can let my imagination run wild with his stuffed toys, sing him songs, and invent different games. Now that I'm getting some feedback from him, he's turning into a little friend. I find this age much easier than when he just nursed, cried, and slept."
Bob's mom, 10th week
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