Note: The first phase (fussy period) of this leap into the perceptual world of "categories" is age-linked and predictable, emerging at about 34 weeks. Most babies start the second phase (see box "Quality Time: An Unnatural Whim" on page 17) of this leap 37 weeks after full-term birth. The initial perception of the world of categories sets in motion the development of a whole range of global concepts such as "animal," for instance. However, the first categories are acquired through real-time, feedback-corrected, trial and error experience in comparing things and learning the within-category similarities and the between-category differences. Consequently, there may be a difference of many weeks or even months between two babies in mastering a particular concept. Skills and activities are mentioned in this chapter at the earliest possible age they might appear so you can watch for and recognize them. (They may be rudimentary at first.) This way you can respond to and facilitate your baby's development.
At about 37 (or between 36 and 40) weeks, you may notice your baby attempting to do new things. At this age, a baby’s explorations can often seem very methodical. For example, you may notice your little tyke picking up specks from the floor and examining them studiously between his thumb and forefinger. Or a budding little chef may rearrange the food on his plate by testing the way a banana squashes or spinach squishes through tiny fingers. He will assume the most serious, absorbed expression while carrying out these investigations. In fact, that is just what they are—investigations that will help the little researcher begin to categorize his world.
Your baby is now able to recognize that certain objects, sensations, animals, and people belong together in groups or categories. For example, a banana looks, feels, and tastes different than spinach, but they are both food. These are important distinctions and similarities to sort out. The leap into the world of categories will affect every sense—sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch. Your baby will learn more about other people and his own emotions, too. Language skills will be developing. Your baby may not yet use words himself, but he will understand much more.
Like all of the previous worlds, the arrival of these new perceptions begins by turning your baby’s world inside out. Babies’ brain waves show drastic changes again around this time. These changes will begin to alter the way your baby perceives his world, which will be disturbing to him at first. You can expect a fussy period to begin around 34 weeks, or be- tween 32 and 37 weeks. This fussy period will often last for 4 weeks, but it may last anywhere from 3 to 6 weeks. As your baby enters this fussy phase, play close attention to see if he is attempting to master new skills.
As they prepare to leap into the world of categories, all babies will cry more easily than they did during the past few weeks. To their mothers, they may seem cranky, whiny, fidgety, grumpy, bad-tempered, discontented, unmanageable, restless, or impatient. All of this is very understandable.
Your little one is now under extra pressure because from her last leap she knows that you can go away from her whenever you please and leave her behind. At first, most babies were temporarily distressed by this discovery, but over the past few weeks they have learned to deal with it in their own ways. It all seemed to be going much more smoothly—and then the next big change came along and ruined everything. Now the little worrier wants to stay with her mommy again, while at the same time she realizes perfectly well that her mother can walk away whenever she chooses. This makes the baby feel even more insecure and increases her tension.
“These past few days, my daughter insists on sitting on my lap constantly. For no apparent reason, I might add. When I don’t carry her around, she screams. When I take her for walks in her stroller, the moment she even thinks I’ve stopped, she demands to be lifted out.”
Ashley’s mom, 34th week
“My baby acts cranky and seems to be bored. She picks up everything and just tosses it away again.
Laura’s mom, 35th week
“Everything’s fine, as long as my little girl can sit on someone’s lap. Otherwise, she whimpers and wails. I’m not used to this behavior from her. She seems to grow bored quickly wherever she is—in the playpen, in her high chair, or on the floor.”
Eve’s mom, 34th week
A fussy baby will usually cry less when she is with her mother, especially when she has her mother all to herself.
“My son kept screaming and grumping and acting horribly. Everything was fine as long as I stayed with him or took him on my lap. I put him to bed several times when I got fed up with his demands.”
Frankie’s mom, 36th week
Here are some giveaways that your little one is about to make another developmental leap.
She May Cling to Your Clothes
Your baby may become anxious when you walk around. Non-crawlers can do nothing but cry. For some, every step her mommy takes is reason for genuine panic. Crawling babies are able to follow their mothers, and sometimes they cling to them so tightly that they can hardly move.
“It was another difficult week with a lot of crying. My son literally clings to my skirt. When I leave the room, he starts crying and crawling after me. When I’m cooking, he’ll crawl behind me, grab hold of my legs, and hold on in such a way that I can’t move. He’ll only play if I play with him. A few times, it just got to be too much. Putting him to bed is a struggle all over again. He falls asleep very late.”
Bob’s mom, 38th week
“At the moment, my daughter is a real little mommy’s girl. As long as she can see me, everything’s okay. Otherwise she howls.”
Jenny’s mom, 38th week
“I call my baby my little leech. She persists in holding on to my trousers. Once again, she wants to be around, with, and on me constantly.”
Emily’s mom, 36th week
She May Be Shy
Your baby may want to keep other people at a greater distance now than she usually does. The desire to be close to you may become even more apparent in the presence of other people—sometimes even when that other person is the father or a brother or sister. Often, mother is the only one allowed to look at her and talk to her. And she is almost always the only one allowed to touch her.
“My daughter is shyer with strangers again.”
Hannah’s mom, 34th week
“When strangers talk to my son or pick him up, he starts yelling, immediately.”
Paul’s mom, 34th week
“When visitors arrive, my son will race to me, climb on my lap, tummy-to-tummy, cling to me, and only then look to see who’s here.”
Kevin’s mom, 34th week
“My girl’s shy around strangers again. She becomes very frightened when someone wants to touch her or lift her up.”
Emily’s mom, 36th week
She May Tightly Hold On to You
When she is sitting on your lap or being carried, your baby may hold on to you as tightly as she can. She may even react furiously if you dare to put her down unexpectedly.
“My baby gets mad if I put her down even for a second. Then, when I lift her up again, she always pinches me. When our poor old dog happens to be within the reach of her hand, she’ll pinch him even before I can lift her up.”
Emily’s mom, 35th week
“My son wants to be carried all of the time, and he clings to my neck or hair really tightly in the process.”
Matt’s mom, 36th week
“It’s almost as if there’s something about my baby’s bed. I’ll take her upstairs, sound asleep, and as soon as she feels the mattress, her eyes pop open. And boy, does she start screaming!”
Laura’s mom, 33rd week
She May Demand Attention
Most babies start asking for more attention, and even easy ones are not always content at being left alone. Some demanding little persons are not satisfied until their mothers’ attention is completely focused on them. Some may become super troublesome as soon as their mothers dare to shift their attention to someone or something else, as if they are jealous.
“When I’m talking to other people, my son always starts screaming really loudly for attention.”
Paul’s mom, 36th week
“My baby is having more difficulty staying in the playpen on his own. He’s clearly starting to demand attention. He likes having us close.”
Frankie’s mom, 34th week
She May Sleep Poorly
Your baby may start sleeping less well. Most babies do. She may refuse to go to bed, fall asleep less easily, and wake up sooner. Some are especially hard to get to sleep during the day. Others at night. And some stay up longer both during the day and at night.
“My son keeps waking up at night. Sometimes, he’ll be up playing in his crib for an hour and a half at 3:00 A.M.”
Matt’s mom, 33rd week
“My daughter stays up late in the evenings and doesn’t want to go to bed. She doesn’t sleep much.”
Hannah’s mom, 35th week
“My baby cries herself to sleep.”
Juliette’s mom, 33rd week
She May Have “Nightmares”
A fussy baby can also be a very restless sleeper. Sometimes, she may yell, toss, and turn so much that you think she is having a nightmare.
“My son wakes up often during the night. One time, he seemed to be dreaming.”
Paul’s mom, 37th week
“My daughter keeps waking up in the middle of the night screaming. When I lift her from her crib, she quiets down again. Then, I put her back, and she’ll go back to sleep.”
Emily’s mom, 35th week
She May Act Unusually Sweet
At this age, your baby may employ entirely new tactics to stay close to you. Instead of whining and complaining, she may opt for something entirely different and kiss and cuddle up to you. Often, she will switch back and forth between troublesome and sweet behavior, trying out what works best to get the most attention. A mother of an independent baby is often pleasantly surprised when her baby finally starts cuddling up to her!
“Sometimes, my baby didn’t want anything. At other times, she became very cuddly.”
Ashley’s mom, 36th week
“My son is more affectionate than he’s ever been. Whenever I get near him, he grabs and hugs me tightly. My neck is full of red blotches from nuzzling and snuggling. He’s also not as quick to push me away any more. Sometimes, he’ll sit still so I can read a book with him. I love it! He finally wants to play with me, too.”
Matt’s mom, 35th week
“My baby expresses his clinginess by acting sweeter and more affectionate, coming to lie down with me and snuggling up against me. I enjoy being with him.”
Steven’s mom, 36th week
She May Be Listless
Your baby may become altogether more quiet. You may hear her babbling less often, or you may see her moving around and playing less. At other times, she might briefly stop doing anything and just lie there, gazing into the distance. Don’t worry, it is only temporary.
“My son’s quieter and often lies there staring into nothingness. I wonder if something’s bothering him or he’s starting to get sick.”
Steven’s mom, 36th week
She May Refuse to Have Her Diaper Changed
When you set your baby down to be dressed, undressed, or changed, she may protest, scream, wriggle, act impatient, and be unmanageable. Most babies do now.
Between 32 and 37 weeks, you may notice your baby starting to show any of these behaviors. They may be signs that he is ready to make the next leap. Check off the signs that your baby shows below.
OTHER CHANGES YOU NOTICE
“Dressing, undressing, and changing diapers is a nightmare. My baby screams the moment I put her down. It drives me crazy.”
Juliette’s mom, 35th week
“My daughter has started to hate getting dressed and undressed. She usually carries on like there’s no tomorrow.”
Emily’s mom, 36th week
She May Seem More Babyish
For the first time, some mothers will notice the recurrence of infantile behavior that they thought had been left behind. Setbacks have probably been experienced before, but the older the baby gets, the more obvious they become. Mothers dislike seeing setbacks. It makes them feel insecure, but they really are perfectly normal. They promise you that something new is on the verge of breaking through. Try to find out what it is. Brief setbacks may happen during every fussy phase. Be happy with them; your baby is doing well.
“My baby has difficulty falling asleep. She starts crying the same sort of cries as she did when she’d just been born.”
Juliette’s mom, 32nd week
“I have to rock and sing my son to sleep again every night, just like I used to.”
Steven’s mom, 35th week
She May Lose Her Appetite
Many babies seem less interested in food and drink at this time. Some seem to have no appetite and may dig in their heels and refuse some meals altogether. Others will only eat what they put into their mouths themselves. Others still are picky, spill things, and spit things out. Because of this, mealtimes may take longer than they used to.
If you have a fussy eater, she may also be unmanageable during meals, not wanting to eat when her food is there and wanting it as soon as it has been taken away. Or she may demand a lot of food one day and refuse to eat the next. Every variety is possible.
“My son refused my breast for 3 days. It was terrible. I felt like I was going to explode. Then, just when I decided it might be time to start cutting down on breastfeeding because it was getting to be that T-shirt time of year again, he decided he wanted to nurse all day long. So then I was afraid I might not have enough because he wasn’t eating anything else anymore. But it seems to be working out okay. So far, I haven’t heard him complain.”
Matt’s mom, 34th week
Like the leaps that preceded it, the changes that your baby is going through will inevitably affect you. Here are some emotions you may encounter.
You May Feel Insecure
A fussy baby usually makes a mother worry. She wants to understand what is making her behave this way, and when she believes she has found a good explanation, it puts her mind at ease. At this age, most mothers decide it must be teething pain, but this may not be the case.
“My daughter’s top teeth are bothering her. She keeps wanting me to do things with her, such as go for walks or play with her.”
Eve’s mom, 34th week
(She did not cut her next tooth until the 42nd week. )
If you have a demanding little tyke who needs little sleep, you may feel extremely tired, especially toward the end of the fussy phase. Most mothers of demanding babies get very exhausted. They may think that they can’t go on much longer. Some also complain of headaches, backaches, and nausea.
“It makes me feel so discouraged at times when my little one stays up until midnight, even if she keeps playing happily. When she’s finally asleep, I completely collapse. I feel drained and unable to think straight. My husband gives me no support whatsoever. He’s even angry that I pay so much attention to her. His philosophy is ’just let her cry.’”
Nina’s mom, 37th week
“The days seem to linger on forever when my son’s cranky, cries, and sulks a lot.”
Bob’s mom, 35th week
You May Become Aggravated
Almost all mothers become increasingly irritated by their babies’ behavior during fussy periods. They become more and more annoyed by bad tempers, impatience, crying, whining, and constant demands for physical contact or attention. They are aggravated by constant clinging, the trouble they have to go through to change or dress their babies, and finicky eating habits.
“When my baby was having another one of her moods, not wanting anything and being terribly restless, I put her to bed. I am dog tired of it and terribly annoyed.”
Jenny’s mom, 37th week
“While I was getting my daughter dressed, her whining really got to me, and I put her down very roughly. I just couldn’t stand her whining and wriggling anymore. She’d been whimpering all day.”
Juliette’s mom, 35th week
“When my son became so unmanageable during changing, I put him on the floor in his room and left him there. That made him stop immediately. A few moments later, he came to get me, with a howl. Then he was willing to be a bit more cooperative.”
Kevin’s mom, 37th week
“This week, I got angry with my baby once. He’d been screaming so relentlessly that I suddenly shouted out angrily, ‘Now shut up!’ That frightened him out of his wits. First he looked at me with big, round eyes, then his head drooped, as if he was genuinely ashamed of his behavior. It was such a touching sight. After that, he became a lot calmer.”
Paul’s mom, 37th week
“I’ve decided to let my son breastfeed only twice a day. I’m fed up with his fickleness. One day, he wants it all, the next he wants nothing. At home, I don’t lull him to sleep at my breast anymore either. That seems to be working out fine. But when we’re at someone else’s house, I still do it.”
Matt’s mom, 37th week
You May Quarrel
Toward the end of every fussy period, most mothers who breastfeed consider stopping. The baby’s fickle behavior, sometimes wanting to nurse, sometimes not, irritates them. And the demanding fashion in which a little one continuously tries to get his way is another reason mothers think seriously about giving up breastfeeding.
“My son wants my breast whenever it suits him. And he wants it immediately. If it happens to be in some way inconvenient for me, he’ll throw a raging temper tantrum. I’m afraid those tantrums are starting to turn into a habit and that pretty soon he’ll try getting his way every single time by kicking and screaming. So I’m stopping right now, I think.”
Steven’s mom, 36th week
Quarrels can also develop when mothers and babies fail to negotiate the amount of physical contact and attention the little person wants and her mommy is willing to give.
“I keep getting more and more annoyed by my baby’s clinging and whining. When we go to visit friends, he’ll hardly let go of me. It makes me feel like just pushing him away from me, and sometimes I do. But that only makes him angrier at me.”
Kevin’s mom, 37th week
It’s just part of life. Having feelings of anger and frustration at times is not abnormal or dangerous, but acting on them is. It’s critical that you get help long before you lose control.
When your baby is approximately 37 weeks, you will notice her becoming calmer. If you watch closely, you may see her trying or doing new things.
For example, you may see her handling her toys in a different way, enjoying new things, or behaving in a more concentrated and inquisitive way. Congratulations! Your baby is making another leap. She is beginning to explore the world of categories.
“I noticed a big change. My son’s toys are lying somewhere in a corner. They have been for some weeks now. I think that I need to supply him with more stimulating toys that will challenge him. But outside, he’s very lively because there’s plenty to see.”
Bob’s mom, 36th week
After the last leap, your baby started to understand relationships between different things he came across, both in the outside world and as they relate to his own body. He became more familiar with every aspect of his world. He discovered that he is the same kind of being as his mommy and that he could move in exactly the same way she does. He learned that other things can move as well, but that they move in very different ways from human beings, and that still other things cannot move at all on their own.
Once your baby acquires the ability to perceive and experiment with categories, he begins to understand that he can classify his world into groups. It will dawn on him that certain things are very much alike, that they look similar, or they make a similar sound, or they taste, smell, or feel the same. In short, he discovers that different things can share the same traits.
For instance, he can now discover the meaning of the word “horse.” He can learn that every horse falls into this category, whether it is brown, white, or spotted; whether the horse is out in a field, in a stable, in a photograph, in a painting, or in a picture book; whether it is a clay horse or a live horse. It is still a horse.
Naturally, this new understanding will not happen overnight. He must first get to know people, animals, and objects well. He has to realize that things must possess certain similarities in order to belong to a certain category. Therefore, he has to be able to spot these similarities, and this takes practice and time. When your baby acquires the ability to perceive categories, he will start experimenting with them. He will start to study people, animals, and objects in a particular way. He will observe, compare, and arrange them according to similarities, and then place them in specific categories. Your baby’s comprehension of a category is the result of a lot of research that he conducts much as a real researcher would.
The use of different categories in our speech is indicative of our way of thinking. Now your baby will be able to start understanding and using this way of thinking as well. This will make it easier for you and your baby to understand one another from now on.
He observes, listens to, feels, tastes, and experiments with both similarities and differences. Your baby works hard at his investigations.
Later on, when your child starts talking, you will see that he has already discovered many of the categories we use and sometimes will have made up his own names for them. For instance: he may call a garage a “car house,” an apartment building a “block house,” or a fern a “feather plant.” The names he uses refer directly to whatever trait he found most characteristic.
As soon as your baby acquires the ability to divide his world into categories, he can start doing just that. He not only examines what makes something a horse, dog, or bear, but also what makes something big, small, heavy, light, round, soft, or sticky, as well as what makes something sad, happy, sweet, or naughty.
Games played during research with babies clearly show that from this age on, babies’ reactions take on a different quality. Some researchers believe that intelligence makes its first appearance at this age. At first look, it might seem that way, but it does not follow that babies never had any thoughts prior to this age. In fact, they have had their own way of thinking that perfectly suited each stage of their development. Unfortunately, these ways are lost to adults, and we can only imagine what they might be like. When the baby begins to classify the world in groups as we do, though, his way of thinking becomes more like an adult’s. Because he starts to think in the same way we do, we are able to understand him better.
This ability to perceive and experiment with categories affects everything a baby does. His way of experiencing things has changed, and it is now time to make sense of it.
A new world, full of possibilities, is open to your baby in the world of categories. Between the ages of 37 and 42 weeks, your baby will make his own selection from the wide array of things available for him to experiment with. He will choose whatever suits him best at this stage in his development and his interests. You may find him building on certain strong inclinations he showed previously, or he may launch out into new territory at this point. There’s a very big world out there for him to explore, and it’s important not to compare your baby too closely to other babies. Every baby is unique.
Watch your baby closely as you check off the skills he selects from the list “How My Baby Explores the New World of Categories” on page 226. You will learn where his interests lie and what makes him unique. Respect his choices, and help him explore the things that interest him.
Babies love anything new and it is important that you respond when you notice any new skills or interests. He will enjoy it if you share these new discoveries, and his learning will progress more quickly.
Brain Changes
Your baby’s brain waves will show dramatic changes again at approximately 8 months. In addition, the baby’s head circumference increases, and the glucose metabolism in the brain changes at this age
Don’t be alarmed if many of these activities don’t show up until much later. What your baby is really learning in this world is the concept of categories, and once she has got a grasp of this through learning one skill, it will sooner or later be carried forward into other skills. The golden rule is “help, don’t push. ”
RECOGNIZING ANIMALS AND OBJECTS
RECOGNIZING PEOPLE AS PEOPLE
RECOGNIZING PEOPLE IN DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES
RECOGNIZING EMOTIONS
SWITCHING ROLES
OTHER CHANGES YOU NOTICE
Your baby needs time and help to come to understand why something does or does not fall into a certain category. You can help her with this by giving her the opportunity and the time to experiment and play in such a way that she will learn why something belongs to a certain category. You can encourage and console her when necessary and present her with new ideas.
Give your baby the opportunity to expand her understanding of categories. It makes no difference which categories she explores first. Once she gets the idea about one or two categories, it will become easier for her to apply this understanding to other categories later on. Some little ones will prefer to start out with recognizing objects, while others will begin with recognizing people. Let your baby be your guide. After all, it is impossible for her to learn everything at once.
When your baby starts experimenting with categories, you will notice that she is actually busy examining an entire range of characteristics and comparing them. She is using relationships to work out what categories are about. By doing this, she will learn the most important characteristics of whatever she is examining. She will find out whether or not something bounces back, whether it is heavy or light, how it feels to the touch, and so on. She will examine something from all sides, hold it upside down or hold her head sideways, move it around quickly and slowly. This is the only way for her to find out: “This is a ball, that isn’t” or “This block is round, the other one isn’t.”
Some babies are particularly interested in different shapes, such as round, square, and notched shapes. They look at the shape and trace its perimeter with one little finger. Then they do the same with a different shape. They are comparing shapes, so to speak. With blocks, they usually pick out round ones first, which shows they are able to recognize them. If your baby seems fascinated by shapes, give her a set of blocks with all sorts of different shapes.
You may also see that your baby will find plenty of things in the house that have shapes that interest her. Have you ever noticed how your baby looks at things that are at a distance and attract her attention? She usually does this while moving her head from left to right. She does this to learn that even when she moves around, things stay the same size and shape. Find out what your baby likes to explore and how she wants to do it. Offer her the opportunities she needs.
“My son tries to catch the running water in the tub when the tap is on. Apparently he thinks it’s something he can grab. He’ll close his hand around the water, and then when he opens it there’s nothing in it. He finds this most peculiar. But he can keep it up for some time.”
Paul’s mom, 43rd week
Many babies like to examine the different components of things. By exploring an object this way, she will eventually find out how that object is assembled and to what category it belongs. If your baby is such a scientist, she may suck successively on different sides of an object, for instance, or press on the top, in the middle, and on the bottom of something. But her explorations can have surprising side-effects.
“My baby’s crazy about knobs. This week, he explored every nook and cranny on the vacuum cleaner. He touched the knobs as well. Accidentally, he pushed the right button and whoosh, the vacuum switched on. It scared the living daylights out of him.”
Bob’s mom, 38th week
Some babies love touching things with their hands to find out how they feel. This way they test for categories such as firmness, stickiness, roughness, warmth, slipperiness, and so on. Allow your baby to explore.
The Advantages of Demolishing
If your baby is examining the different components of things, he often ends up by taking something apart bit by bit. If your baby starts to demolish, give him playthings he can explore in this way. Stack some blocks for him so that he can remove them one by one. Show him how to do it. You can do the same with doughnut rings of different sizes that stack on a rod. Also try giving him a pile of magazines, which he can move one by one. See what other games your baby invents by himself and support him if it is not dangerous or too costly. You may also show how you take things apart yourself. This experience is very important, because after the next leap he can use this knowledge to his advantage when he starts to assemble instead of demolish.
“My son likes to fiddle with locks on cabinets and doors. Even if the key’s been turned a quarter of the way, he still manages to get it out.”
John’s mom, 37th week
“My son’s playing is much more concentrated now. Sometimes, he’ll even examine two things at the same time. For instance, he will take his time to mash a piece of banana with one hand, and crush a piece of apple with the other. Meanwhile, he’ll look from one hand to the other.”
Frankie’s mom, 42nd week
“My baby examines sand, water, pebbles, and sugar by putting some in his fist and feeling it for a very long time. Then he’ll put it in his mouth.”
Bob’s mom, 40th week
Sometimes, a baby loves rubbing other parts of her body against objects, or she will pick something up and run it past her body. This way, the baby will become even more familiar with whatever she is examining, so give her this opportunity.
“I put a swing up for my son in a doorway. There’s a knot under the seat, and that’s his favorite part. He’ll sit under the swing and hold on to the doorpost, so that he can raise himself a little when the knot swings past his head and touches his hair. He’ll just sit there, experiencing the feeling of it.”
Bob’s mom, 39th week
In the world of categories some babies like to experiment with handling people, animals, and objects roughly and carefully. If you see yours doing this, let her know that certain things hurt and objects can break. If she experiments like this, she knows perfectly well what she is doing.
“My son often bites me and sometimes handles his toys and other things very roughly. And yet, at times he can also be careful in an exaggerated way. He’ll stroke flowers and ants with one little finger, only to squash them seconds later. Then, when I say ’shh, careful’ he’ll start touching with one little finger again.”
Bob’s mom, 40th week
“When we were in the bath, my son started to examine my nipple very carefully, with one little finger, only to continue pushing, pulling, and poking it around. His own penis was next. He was a bit more careful with that!”
Matt’s mom, 41st week
“First, my baby examines my eyes, ears, and nose with her little index finger. Then she tickles them. Then, as she gets more and more excited, she gets rougher, pushing and poking at my eyes, pulling at my ears and nose, and sticking a finger up my nostril.”
Nina’s mom, 39th week
Some babies compare the weights of playthings and other objects. If yours is discovering the categories heavy and light, give her the opportunity to experiment.
“My baby lifts everything she walks past up for a moment.”
Jenny’s mom, 41st week
Usually, your baby studies the concepts high and low, little and large through crawling, climbing, standing, or walking. She will climb onto, over, and under everything. She will do this sedately, in a controlled manner, almost as if she is planning out how to do things.
“My son tries to crawl under and through everything. He looks for a while, then off he goes. Yesterday, he got stuck under the bottom step of the stairs. We all panicked!”
John’s mom, 40th week
From this age on, it usually becomes more and more important to give a mobile baby enough room in order to give him ample opportunity to investigate all sorts of categories. An already physically active baby may now become more dexterous and stable while sitting, standing, crawling, and walking. As a result, he will be able to do much more with his body. He can choose to squat, crawl, or climb up onto furniture or stand on his toes when he wants to reach something. Allow him to crawl through your home, climb onto things, and hoist himself up on the most impossible ledges. Secure the safety gates by the stairs on the second or third step, and allow him to practice going up and down stairs. Place a mattress at the bottom of the stairs, so that he can not hurt himself.
“My son clambers up everything. He even tried to scale the smooth surface of a wall.”
John’s mom, 42nd week
“My little girl was sitting in her high chair at the table, and before I knew it, she had climbed onto the table. I guess I need eyes in the back of my head now.
Emily’s mom, 42nd week
Your little crawler can learn a lot outside as well. Give him room there, too. For instance, walk with him in the woods, at the beach, at a lake, in the sandbox, and in the park. Just as long as you do not lose sight of him.
Baby Care
Make sure that the space your baby is exploring is safe. But nevertheless, do not take your eyes off him for a single second. He will always manage to find something that can be dangerous that you might not have thought of.
Top Games for This Wonder Week
Here are games and activities that most babies like best now and that will help them practice their newly developing skills.
Some things will seem absolutely fascinating to your baby, but venturing out on his own voyage of discovery may be dangerous or impossible. So help him. You can help him handle breakable picture frames or heavy figurines, for instance, so that he won’t break them or hurt himself but will satisfy his curiosity.
Bells and Switches
Allow your baby to ring a doorbell. He will be able to hear right away what he is doing. You could let him press a button in the elevator as well. This way, he will feel he’s doing something grown-up Allow him to turn on the light when it is very dark, so that he can see what the effect is. Let him push the button in the bus sometimes, or at a pedestrian crossing, and explain to him what is happening that he should look for. This will teach him something about the relationship between what he is doing and what happens next.
Outdoor Exploration
At this age, most babies can not get enough of being outdoors. Taking your baby outdoors will teach him a lot as well. He will see new things. Whether you’re bike riding, walking, stroller jogging, or backpacking, be sure to stop now and then to allow your baby to look closer at, listen to, and touch things.
Dressing
Many babies seem to have no time for dressing and grooming. They are far too busy with other things. But they love to look at themselves and are even more interested when something is being done to them. Use this to its advantage. Towel your baby off, dress, and undress him in front of a mirror so that he can play a sort of peek-a-boo game with himself at the same time.
Your baby often understands a lot more than you think, and he loves being able to demonstrate this. He will now start to expand the range of words and phrases he understands with pleasure.
Naming
Name the things your baby looks at or listens to. When your baby expresses with gestures what he wants, translate his question for him by putting it into words. This will teach him that he can use words to express himself.
Let your baby choose a book and hand it to him. Take him on your lap or seat him close beside you. This way he can turn the pages by himself. Point to the picture he is looking at and name the object. You can also make the appropriate sounds for the particular animal or object you are pointing to. Encourage your baby to make that word or sound as well. Don’t try to continue if your baby loses interest. Some babies need a momentary cuddle or tickle after each page to keep their attention focused.
Tasks
Ask your baby if he will give you whatever he is holding by saying, for instance, “Give it to Mommy. “ Ask him to give it to Daddy as well sometime. You can also ask him to get something for you—for instance, “Pass me the toothbrush,” and “Get me the ball. “ Also try calling him sometime when you are out of sight: “Where are you?” and have him answer. Or ask him to come to you, “Come over here. “ Praise him if he participates, and continue only as long as your baby still enjoys it.
Many babies study other people with great interest and love imitating what they see other people do If your baby does this as well, mimic him and encourage him to mimic you
Do This
First, challenge your baby to imitate whatever you are doing, then imitate him again. Often he will be able to go on forever, taking turns doing the same thing over and over. Try alternating your gestures as well. Make the gestures a little faster or slower. Try making them with the other hand, or with two hands. Try making them with sound or without, and so on. Try doing this game in front of a mirror as well. Some babies love repeating gestures in front of a mirror while watching themselves to see how everything is done.
Talking to the Mirror
If your baby is interested in the positions of the mouth, try practicing them sometime in front of a mirror. Turn it into a game. Sit down in front of the mirror together and toy with vowels, consonants or words, whatever your baby likes best. Give him time to watch and copy. Many babies love watching themselves imitating gestures as well, such as movements of hand and head. Try this sometime, too. If your baby can see himself while he is imitating you, he will immediately be able to see whether he is doing it just like you.
Sing Pat a cake, pat a cake, baker’s man, and let your baby feel every move that goes with the song. In order to do this, take his hands in yours and make the movements together. Sometimes babies will imitate the clapping of their own accord. Or they will raise their hands. They are still unable to imitate all the movements in sequence at this age, but they are able to enjoy them.
Encourage your baby to take up a role he has seen you or an older child perform. Then try to switch roles.
Chase
You can consider this the first game of tag. It can be played crawling or walking. Try turning the game around sometime as well—crawl or walk away, and clearly indicate that you expect he will come after you. Try to escape if your baby makes attempts at catching you. If your baby does catch you, or you have caught him, then cuddle him or raise him up high in the air.
Hide-and-Seek
Hide yourself in such a way that your baby sees you disappear, then let him look for you. Also try pretending sometime that you have lost him and are looking for him. Sometimes babies are quick to hide and will stay behind their beds or hide in corners very quietly. Usually, they will pick the spot you were just hiding in or one that was a smash hit the day before. React with enthusiasm when you have found each other.
If your baby is very bright socially, she will be able to pretend that she is sad, sweet, or distressed from this point on. Such emotional states are categories, too. This means that she can start manipulating or taking advantage of you. Usually, mothers fall for this at first. Some simply refuse to believe that their children, still only babies, could be capable of doing anything like this deliberately. Others are secretly a little proud. If you see your little one is putting on an act, allow her to have a taste at success, if possible. But at the same time, let her know that you know what she is doing. This will teach her that the use of emotions is important, but that she can not use them to manipulate you.
“During the day, my girl is very troublesome, really pesky, but when it’s time for her to go to bed in the evening, she plays like a little angel. It’s as if she thinks, ‘As long as I behave myself, I don’t have to go to bed.’ It’s useless, anyway, trying to put her to bed when she isn’t tired yet, because she’ll refuse to stay lying down. Last Friday, she went to bed at 11:30 P.M.”
Jenny’s mom, 37th week
“If I’m talking with someone, my son will suddenly need instant help, or he’ll pretend that he injured himself on something.”
Matt’s mom, 39th week
Sometimes a baby will take up a role she has seen her mother or an older child perform. This is possible now because she knows that she is a person, the same way other people are. In other words, both she and other people belong to the same category. As a result she is able to do the same things that other people can do. She can hide, just as her mother used to, and make her the seeker. She can go get her own toys when she feels like playing with them. Always respond to this, even if only for a short while.
This will teach her that she is making herself understood and that she is important.
Here are toys and things that most babies like best as they explore the world of categories.
But beware of other things they are attracted to like: electrical plugs and switches, washing machines, dishwashers, vacuum cleaners, hair dryers, other appliances and stairs.
“This week, another child a little older than my son visited our home. My son and the other little girl each had a bottle. At a certain point, the little girl stuck her bottle in my baby’s mouth and started feeding him. She kept holding the bottle herself. The next day, I had him on my lap and was giving him a bottle. Suddenly, he took the bottle and stuck it in my mouth, then started laughing, drank some himself, then stuck it back in my mouth. I was amazed. He’d never done anything like that before.”
Paul’s mom, 41st week
The Importance of Consistency
Mothers are always proud of their babies’ progress and accomplishments, and they automatically react with excitement and surprise. But some of those accomplishments can be mischievous. At first, a mischievous accomplishment may be amusing and your baby may take your delight or surprise as approval. She thinks she is being funny and will repeat the behavior time after time, even when mother tells her “no. ”
You will now need to be more consistent with your baby. When you disallow something once, it is better not to condone it the next time. Your baby loves putting you to the test.
“My baby’s getting funnier and funnier because she’s starting to become mischievous. She says brrr when she’s got a mouth full of porridge, covering me with the stuff. She opens cupboards she’s not allowed to touch and throws the cat’s water all over the kitchen.”
Laura’s mom, 38th week
“My daughter won’t listen to me. When I tell her ‘no,’ she laughs, even if I’m really angry with her. But when her babysitter says ’no,’ she cries. I wonder if this is because I work. Perhaps I give in too much when I’m home, out of guilt.”
Laura’s mom, 39th week
“My daughter stood by a stroller with the neighbors’ little boy in it and started playing peek-a-boo with him. Together, they thought it was the funniest thing.”
Emily’s mom, 40th week
Some little ones love to play the role of giver. It doesn’t matter what things they give, just as long as they can keep giving and receiving—preferably the latter. If your baby gives anything at all, it goes without saying that she expects to get it back immediately. She will often understand the words “Can I have. . . ,” as well as “please.” So you can combine the giving-and-receiving game with speech, helping her to understand things even better.
“My daughter likes to show everyone her biscuit with a big smile on her face. Of course, one is not expected to take the biscuit. She quickly retreats her hand when she thinks this would happen. The other day, she proudly reached out to show granddad’s dog her cookie, but he wolfed it away in a flash. Flabbergasted, she looked at her empty hand and then she cried of anger.”
Hannah’s mom, 41st week
When your baby is learning a new skill, she may also discover a new danger and develop fear. One of these is the fear of the category heights. Another one is the fear of being confined. When your baby suddenly acts scared, sympathize with her, try to find out what is bothering her, and help her. Babies tend to be wary of new things until they are sure they are harmless.
“My baby always used to like walking when I would practice with her. Now, suddenly, she’s stopped. She seems scared. If she even suspects I might let go of one hand, she’ll sit down right away.”
Ashley’s mom, 46th week
“My son can’t stand being confined now. When he’s strapped into a car seat, he becomes absolutely hysterical.”
Paul’s mom, 40th week
Between 40 and 45 weeks, another relatively easy period sets in. For the following 1 to 3 weeks, many babies are admired for their progress, independence, and cheerfulness. A wide range of things is interesting to them now, from people on horseback to flowers, leaves, ants, and mosquitoes. Many children wish to spend more time outdoors now. Other people suddenly start to play a much more important part in their lives, as well. They make contact with them much more often and are sooner prepared to play games with them. In short, baby’s horizon is broader than ever.
“At the moment, my boy’s a doll. He laughs all day long. Sometimes, he’ll play by himself sweetly for an hour. He seems like a completely different child this past week. He doesn’t look as bloated anymore, and he feels very lithe. He was always a little unwieldy, but now he seems to have loosened up a lot more. He’s much livelier, energetic, and adventurous.”
Frankie’s mom, 42nd week
“My son understands much more, so he’s getting to a new place, somewhere with more possibilities. I have to make it easier to talk to him. He needs to be where he can communicate with everyone, at the table for instance. It’s important now. He’s focusing on other people much more outside of the house as well. He makes contact with them right away by blowing bubbles, making certain calling sounds, or by tilting his head questioningly.”
Bob’s mom, 40th week
My Diary
Top Toys for This Wonder Week