No matter what your job looks like—a traditional career track or something fabulously unusual—there are those you will have to impress on your way to the top. And what’s more impressive than having your shit together? Forget “Basic facility with Photoshop and conversational French.” People should actually list “I have my shit together” on their résumés. I’d hire those people.
In Part II: Theodore Does Details we covered a lot of self-management techniques with regard to your working life (time, to-do lists, revenge fantasies). And of course showing up bright and early and hitting deadlines will come in handy no matter what. But if you’re looking to nab a raise or a promotion, to win the big client, or to get the MacArthur Genius Grant or whatever, you’ve come to the right place. I have relevant experience in some, if not all, of these arenas.*
Looking confident—even if inside, you’re scared shitless—is a great way to gain the trust and respect of your boss or clients and get ahead. Later in the book we’ll talk more about how to combat anxiety and other self-defeating mental states that might be shaking your confidence, but for now we’re just going to work with appearances.
Inside, you may be Verbal Kint, but outside, you’ve got to be Keyser Söze.
I know, this doesn’t come naturally to the Theodores among you. It’s hard to be (or look) confident when you feel like the world is falling down around you at all times. Hopefully the advice I’ve doled out thus far has helped alleviate that feeling and freed you up to try calm, cool, and collected on for size. I hear it’s all the rage this season.
Alvins are actually pretty good at the confidence game already. They have a lot of energy to divert to looking self-possessed while they get their shit together to match the carpet to the drapes. If you’re an Alvin, you may be closer than you think to those Deputy Director business cards you’ve had your eye on.
Simons can be truly confident (on the cusp of Alvin) or not (first house in Theodore); either way they are usually high-functioning enough to gain the trust—but sometimes also the abuse—of clients and higher-ups. If you’re a member of the Brotherhood of the Blue Turtleneck, getting ahead in your career may be more about strategizing your own time and energy to avoid getting sidetracked by quantity of tasks in favor of quality of work.
In any case, if need be, you can start projecting confidence by mastering a few key phrases such as:
No problem.
Got you covered.
I’m on it!
And graduate to ones like:
Making Shit Happen is my middle name.
You can also engage in some harmless confidence cosplay. Observe your coworkers. Who looks like they’ve got their shit together? What makes you think that about them? Perhaps their cheerful demeanor, their steady hands, or the fact that their shirt doesn’t have yesterday’s $.99 burrito bowl all over it. Is there any reason you can’t look like that too? All I’m saying is, an inordinate number of people spend time and money dressing up like Walter White and Sexy Jesse every Halloween; I have to believe this kind of effort could be expended to more beneficial results.
A lot of gurus and life coaches and people with opinions will tell you that you have to “ask for what you want.” That’s fine, but I think you should also ask what you have to do to get what you want. I mean literally ask your boss or clients, “What do I have to do to get you to give me what I want?”
Take the mystery out of this shit!
I have watched so many people languish in their careers, waiting for someone above them to give a hint as to what it takes to unlock that corner office. And I have watched so many managers and CEOs pay absolutely no attention to the needs or desires of their underlings until they absolutely have to—usually when said underling gives notice.
Raises and promotions can be approached like any other goal, except that—BONUS—by asking your boss or clients to provide you with a clear strategy (e.g., “Sign fifty new accounts in one year” or “Take someone under your wing and show me that you can be a good manager”), you can proceed straight to focus and commitment.
BOOM: You just eliminated the middle man. That’s Deputy Director material!
Not to mention, this gambit has the added benefit of highlighting when there may not be any room for promotion or extra pay. If you make this kind of ask and your boss huffs and puffs or dodges and weaves, well, that tells you something. Sometimes people languish not because they’re not capable of advancement—but because there is no way forward and they just don’t know it. Why? They haven’t asked.
If your boss tells you there’s nothing you can do, or simply tells you nothing, then look at it this way: You just got a big head start on looking for a new job where you can get ahead. Fortunately, you have your shit together (and you added that line item to your résumé), so getting one shouldn’t be a problem.