The end is in sight, guys. You’re almost there. You’re so close, in fact, that you’ve come to the section designed for anyone who bemoans the state of their life and has read this far, yet still can’t seem to do anything about it. Why? Because they have yet to pinpoint their own behavior as the cause of their problems. They’re not dumb or even willfully ignorant; they just aren’t very self-aware.
Pssst… “they” could easily be “you.”
It’s cool, not everyone is born with the gene for “I’m being ridiculous and I should really take stock of and responsibility for my life choices.” But if you’re lacking a sense of awareness about your own actions, it’s a lot harder to get your shit together than if you can look at yourself in the mirror and say, “Wow, the way I’m doing things is obviously not working. I am losing the Game of Life and honestly, it’s all my fault.”
So at long last, this is the part of the book where I’m going to get judgy.
And so are you.
The final question of my survey was “Name something OTHER people do that makes you think they don’t have their shit together.” Someday, I will perform the list of responses in their entirety, perhaps as a one-woman show titled The Get Your Shit Together Monologues.
For now, though, we’re just going to use them as inspiration. The following is a fun exercise designed to help you win at life by identifying other people’s bad behavior and learning from it. Sometimes, you have to get all lubed up on schadenfreude before you can come around to the thought Oh shit, I do that too.
It works like this:
I’m going to give you a list of complaints taken directly from my survey responses.
You’re going to match each complaint with a person in your life who is guilty of this behavior.
You’re going to think about how obvious it is that they are engaging in self-sabotage to the nth degree, shake your head, mutter Get your shit together under your breath, and keep going until you complete the list.
Have fun, I won’t tell anyone.
_______________ is really disorganized.
_______________ is perennially late.
_______________ says “that’s just how I am,” as though that’s a valid excuse for always being late.
_______________ can never seem to keep a promise.
_______________ is in a bad relationship.
_______________ is so irresponsible with money.
_______________ always talks about starting a diet or workout program but never follows through.
_______________ is so paralyzed by perfection, he/she never gets anything done.
_______________ puts everything off until the last minute, then does a shitty job at it.
_______________ is impossible to pin down/never commits to anything.
_______________ is always spending money he/she doesn’t have and is therefore always broke.
_______________ complains about his/her job constantly but never looks for a new one.
_______________ doesn’t take care of him/herself and wonders why he/she feels gross all the time.
_______________’s messy home is basically a reflection of his/her messy life.
_______________ is so overcommitted, it would be comical if it weren’t so sad.
_______________ is terrible at responding to emails; it’s like they go into a black hole.
_______________ keeps doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results.
Now, you’re going to stand in front of a mirror and instead of reciting the name of your friend (or family member, colleague, neighbor, or acquaintance) aloud, you’re going to substitute YOUR OWN NAME.
Every time you experience a twinge of brutal recognition, that’s self-awareness. Circle those answers. Meditate on them. Become the self-awareness you want to see in your friends/family/colleagues/neighbors/acquaintances.
Congratulations, ________________, you just got one (or more) steps closer to winning at life.