CHAPTER SEVEN

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Livestock

IT MATTERS NOT A JOT if you’re all in with self-sufficiency or just sofa-surfing the subject for now – understanding animals, their welfare, body language and environment will have a positive impact on your life. If you are a meat eater this chapter covers practical issues that will be important to you, such as how the meat we consume is reared and why free range is always better, plus tips on how to shop more ethically, or if you have the space, the best ways to keep your own animals. In addition we’re going to look at body language and lifestyles of animals, two things that feel really important because we all talk about the welfare of animals but if we can’t communicate with them, how are they going to tell us what they need? This chapter works on two levels. Firstly, it explores how we can feel in greater control of the food we eat and how to buy more ethically, as well as looking at those who have room for a beehive or a handful of chickens or time on a Saturday afternoon to cast a rod into a river, as well as smallholders with space for pigs, poultry, sheep, goats or cattle. On the second level it will help you tune into animals, get on their wavelength and empower you with skills that go far beyond understanding a pig’s snort, or why goats like to headbutt, crashing into our everyday lives of people and human relationships, giving insights to us all.

COMMUNICATING WITH ANIMALS

Dr Doolittle had the right idea: talk to the animals and listen to what they have to say. Easy – at least it would be if animals spoke English, which, unfortunately, they don’t. Their method of communication is far more subtle, but for all that it’s no less expressive. We just need to tune in.

Here’s a scenario for you. It’s Christmas and everyone’s round your place. They’re in the kitchen sitting around the table, friends, family, all those closest to you. You walk in and despite the lull in conversation, and the fact that half of them have their backs to you, you instantly know who’s got the hump, who’s had an argument, who’s sleeping with who and which of them you need to mark as trouble.

Part of what’s happening is learnt behaviour: patterns that people have both generally and individually; but then there’s another layer, something far deeper and often more telling – that of body language. In this respect animals are no different as they too will have recognizable patterns to their behaviour, on top of which they are masters of body language, and as animal carers it’s vital we can read both.

By its very definition, learnt behaviour is, well, learnt. For that reason anyone who has animals in their care, be they a couple of pigs or a flock of sheep or a gorgeous little cat, should spend an absolute minimum of 20 minutes a day simply watching them. Get to know what their normal is, that way if they start acting out of character you know to keep an eye on them, and furthermore could be an early indicator of a health problem developing and allow you to react to it all the sooner.

As for body language, that’s where a lot of the fun lies, as it’s very much a two-way conversation between you and the animal, which, by the way, as far as the animal is concerned is going on anyway, it’s just down to us to be aware of it. For each of the animals discussed in this chapter there is a part at the end of each section on body language. The communication between humans and animals is just so beautiful and amazing – it will make you want to go to a coffee shop or a pub, on your own, and watch people. Or go and talk to a dog. Or a sheep.

KEEPING BEES FOR HONEY

The production of honey is a miracle of the natural world. The end products – the beeswax and the honey – are almost secondary to the privilege of witnessing the complex community of bees manufacturing their product. So, in less time than it takes to watch a commercial break, this is how honey is made.

The bees gather nectar from flowering plants and store it in their ‘honey stomachs’. They then return to the hive and pass the nectar on to other worker bees whose job it is to chew it, breaking down the complex plant sugars into more digestible forms, effectively creating the early stage of honey. The honey is then put into the honeycomb. But before it is sealed with a wax lid for long-term storage, another group of bees stands outside, fanning their wings to dry the honey and remove any excess moisture. Ingenious!

The blossoms that are visited by the bees will obviously influence both the taste and the colour of the honey: colours can range from strong browns and ambers through to very light, almost transparent yellow with a touch of gold; likewise, the tremendous variety of flavours depends on the flowers used and their region of origin, but they vary from delicate, soft and floral tones through to richer, almost nutty tastes. The majority of honey sold in shops is a blend of several different honeys from separate locations. But sampling a single honey made from one source is like tasting the countryside inhabited by the bees.

Honey is a natural sugar – a healthy alternative to refined sugar – and can replace refined sugar in most recipes. It goes well in coffee, tea and milk and can be mixed in cakes, drinks and yoghurts, and with flavoured vinegars for fantastic salad dressings. It also provides a stunning glaze for most meats. Beeswax can be used to makes candles, soap, lip balm and furniture polish.

For anyone thinking of keeping bees, the initial cost of the starter kit, including the hive, would be roughly equivalent to an average week’s wages in the UK. But after the initial outlay, a standard-sized hive can produce between 27–45kg/60–100lb of honey a year for about an hour’s work a week. A standard hive is around 0.9m/3ft high by 0.6m/2ft wide, so space should not present a problem for most people. What may be an issue, however, is that bees need a lot of flowers to make honey – around two million of them for just 0.5kg/1lb of honey (not to mention some 55,000 miles of flight)! But crops and plants can’t pollinate without bees, so if you live reasonably close to an arable farm, the farmer may welcome your plans and donate a corner of a field to your apiary. Even if you live in a suburb, it is possible keep a hive at the end of the garden, although success will depend on the plants and flowers that surround you. The more built-up the area, the less practical it would be. If you are interested in keeping bees, browse the Internet for reliable, practical guidance on how to get started.

KEEPING HENS FOR EGGS

The humble egg is possibly the most exciting single ingredient to come out of the self-sufficient garden and goes with more things than Joseph’s Technicolour Dreamcoat. If you’ve never had a proper, fresh egg, the first time you crack one open prepare to be wowed. The yoke is an intense yellow, almost orange, and sits pert on top of the white. It doesn’t ‘wash’ across the frying pan when it’s cooked, as older and shop-bought eggs sometimes have a tendency to do, but remains firm and compact. And it has a distinctive, rich, nutty, creamy taste. Once you’ve had a fresh egg straight from the chicken, you’ll never want a shop-bought one again.

Laying chickens, or ‘layers’, need a safe shelter, known as a coop (which should be dry and draught-free and able to be locked at night), and a run where they can peck and scratch about. The main differences between meat birds and layers are the types of breeds and the method of feeding. Unless you intend to breed, avoid getting a cockerel – a hen can lay eggs even if a cockerel is not present, but they won’t be fertilized. Cockerels are the ones that make a lot of noise and crow to announce the arrival of dawn … and they will crow from there on pretty much throughout the day. If you live in a built-up area or have any neighbours, they may not welcome the new alarm clock. Layers tend to be leaner than meat birds and produce one egg a day when they are in full lay.

There are many breeds to choose from, and some are very pretty. But always consider buying ex-battery hens. These are chickens that have worked hard to produce eggs day after day in confined and often terrible conditions. After a year of intensive egg production they are replaced by a new batch of layers. The future is bleak for those that are removed – they are either sold off very cheaply or culled. But for anyone wanting to keep a handful of chickens for eggs, they are ideal, and still more than capable of producing a plentiful supply of eggs. They seem pathetically grateful for the new lease of life and will often follow you around (if you stand still long enough, they will sometimes even hop on your foot and fall asleep). So give some thought to mixing ex-battery hens in with your flock (half and half is a good proportion). There are rescue centres for battery hens in most towns and these are easy to find on the Internet.

Many feed manufacturers produce compound pellets (known as ‘layers pellets’), which are high in the protein and minerals necessary for egg development. This is by far the best form of feed as it ensures a regular laying pattern (one thing guaranteed to put a chicken off laying is a fluctuation in its feed). However, some feeds include chemical additives that influence such things as the colour of the yolk, so be sure to check the ingredients before feeding. The chicken obviously derives everything required for the daily production of an egg (yolk, white and shell) from the food it is fed. But in order to digest this food, it also needs grit, which it swallows and stores in its crop. This helps to break down the feed so that it can be absorbed more easily. Bags of chicken grit can be purchased at any feed vendor; but if your chickens are free-range, they will naturally pick up small stones from the ground and these have the same effect.

If a hen’s feeding routine is altered too much, the hen gets upset, its body becomes confused and egg production shuts down. So if it’s not practical for you to leave feed down permanently (a practice known as ‘ad-libbing’), be sure to follow a reasonably strict feeding routine. Hens need to feel safe and comfortable in their surroundings and also benefit from a routine in their care in order to produce eggs regularly. Try to feed them around the same time each day and set up a pattern of tasks that they can recognize, such as cleaning out their coop once a week. This pattern needn’t be set in stone, but the more constants there are in their life, the more comfortable they feel and the better the egg flow will be.

In addition to food and water, housing and bedding, chickens love a bath. Their idea of heaven is a dust-box filled with dry sand. It doesn’t need to be large, but it should have shuttering around the outside and dry sand in the middle. This sandpit also gives you the opportunity to de-flea and de-louse the chickens by adding powder to the sand periodically (always read the label on any treatment you introduce as there may be a period during which you cannot eat the eggs).

Chickens are affectionate, extremely funny and make great pets, especially if you have children. Always check that there are no laws preventing you from keeping livestock before purchasing. And never keep a single chicken – they are social animals and should always be kept in groups of two or more.

Buying eggs ethically

Of course not everyone has the space or inclination to keep chickens, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy happy, free-range, fresh farm eggs.

Farmers’ markets are a great outlet for small, local producers; do chat and gently quiz the vendor over how they keep their chickens – remember, free range is always better. Check online for your local farmers’ market.

Many farmers sell eggs over the farm gate. Venturing a short way into the countryside, you’ll have most likely seen signs for fresh eggs in many a farm entrance, beside an honesty box, which is like an unmanned pop-up shop. These are fab because more often than not you’ll be able to see chickens scratching around the farmyard over the top of the gate.

Go direct. A quick online search is also bound to throw up a whole host of farms and smallholdings close by to you, Phone them up, email them, get in touch and ask if they have eggs to sell – trust me, as a farmer no phone call or message is as welcome as when someone is asking to buy your produce.

Body Language

Mother hen, pecking order and cocksure are all everyday terms coined by chicken keepers to indicate a fusspot, hierarchy and an extremely confident person (aka, your average teenager), but in order to dig a little deeper into the body language of chickens we need to understand how a chicken feels about procreation.

Hens want to mate with the best looking, strongest, healthiest cockerel they can as that will give her resulting chicks the best chance of survival. However she doesn’t always have a choice of who catches her, so Mother Nature has given her a really cool trick. When the male mates (vent to vent, a cockerel doesn’t have a penis), if she doesn’t think he’s good enough father material, when he ejaculates she can, if she wants to, reject it and fire it back into him. If you keep chickens and are unable to hatch because the eggs are never fertile, take a look at the boy – it could be that the girls just don’t think he’s up to scratch.

The cockerel on the other hand has no idea and thinks he’s amazing having run around all day in the belief he’s been impregnating the ladies, which is why, if a predator attacks, the cockerel will sacrifice himself in the hope that ‘his girls’ will get away and continue his line. The myth that a cockerel can protect his hens from a fox is sadly just that, a myth – it’s like you or me taking on Mike Tyson. The cockerel is not trying to protect the hens, he’s trying to give them time to get away so they can lay the eggs he’s fathered and continue his line, because, from a cockerel’s point of view, more of him is just what the world needs.

But you can now see why the cockerel struts around like he owns the joint, and why the boys tend to be more flamboyant, prettier and more highly coloured than the females, while it’s the girls who really rule the roost.

QUAIL AND OTHER POULTRY

Quail are such fun to keep, and so easy! There’s no crowing to upset the neighbours and stress you out – they trill. The eggs the females lay are tiny, about a quarter of the size of a chicken’s egg, so they are perfect hard boiled on a salad, or lightly poached atop a chilli. They eat layers pellets the same as chickens, and housing can be as simple as a rabbit hutch in a shed or garage with an outdoor run for nice days.

Ducks are messy, need space and constant access to lots of water, which they will churn into mud. However, they are hilarious to watch and the eggs are slightly bigger than hen’s eggs with a nutty taste. Housing-wise, they need their own house for nights. Go for as few boys as you can possibly get away with, no more than one male for up to 12 females, as mating can be rough and frequent, and if there are too many boys the girls will suffer.

Geese have fabulously large eggs with huge yolks, but a relatively short laying season, traditionally from Valentine’s Day to July. As water fowl they need constant access to water, but are very happy to eat grass with a small supplement of layers pellets, and as such make brilliant lawn mowers. They are monogamous and thrive living in couples. The downside of geese is that they can be vicious, even to the hand that feeds them. But very cheap to keep and very cost effective.

Turkeys are flamboyant, puffed-up boys and rather conservative girls. Eggs are slightly larger than duck eggs, with arguably the best flavour of all the eggs. But of course if you are a meat eater, or you are rearing them for meat, turkeys are all about Christmas. Aim to hatch around July, enjoy them, have fun with them and try not to fall too heavily in love with them as they are such characters. And if you do fall too heavily in love with them – and believe me, we all do it – nut roast can make for a perfectly respectable Christmas lunch. Feed them turkey crumb until they are fully feathered before moving onto turkey grower pellets. Always keep in groups of two or more, with no more than one boy for up to 12 females as the boys will fight and it can get nasty.

KEEPING LIVESTOCK FOR MEAT

There is something truly wonderful about eating meat you have raised yourself. It’s a special moment when you open the oven door and take out a golden, beautifully roasted chicken that you have hand-prepared yourself to share with friends and family. The sense of achievement, of satisfaction and providing is fantastic. Equally satisfying is the fact that you know where your meat has come from, what the animal has been fed, and that it has been well-treated and has lived a happy, contented life. But just how practical is it to keep animals for food, and what does it involve?

Space

Space is obviously a major consideration if you are thinking of keeping animals. Keeping a single animal alone is not an option – you should always have at least two. Agencies such as the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA) and the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (RSPCA) have minimum welfare standards on space, but these represent the absolute minimum and should be exceeded, if at all possible. An enclosure should be big enough for the animal to function normally, as nature intended (I refer to this area as ‘comfort space’), and should make them feel safe and content. Overleaf is a rough guide, taken from my experience, to the space needed for the five animals that are most often kept for meat in the UK. It should be stressed, however, that by far the best option is to keep all livestock as naturally as possible – and that means free range.

Before buying livestock, check with your local authority that you won’t be infringing any rules or bye-laws. Also think about notifying your local vet in case any problems arise. In addition, it is important to make enquiries with the appropriate authorities about obtaining a ‘holding number’ for the land and a herd or flock number for the stock. These numbers are legal requirements for anyone keeping livestock in the UK.

Identification

It is the owner’s responsibility to ensure that their animals have the correct identification tags and marks in accordance with current regulations. Even if you have just a couple of pet pigs in the back garden, the rules still apply. To keep up to date with the latest UK regulations, check the DEFRA website regularly.

Chickens

The main problem presented by chickens is their vulnerability to attack. Foxes, domestic dogs, cats and even rats can attack and kill a growing chicken in seconds, so it’s essential that the enclosure is secured by a stout wire fence. Speciality shops and web suppliers offer electric fencing, which is a worthwhile (although somewhat pricey) option. But there are also things you can do yourself to safeguard your livestock. The most obvious is to ensure the birds can’t fly away and get nabbed by a passing fox. Clipping the flight feathers of each bird is therefore vital. You should only clip the flight feathers of one wing. This will unbalance the bird and prevent it from flying high or with sufficient control. Cutting flight feathers on both sides would impede its flight but would still mean it could take off and fly in a straight line.

Allow the chickens the free run of their enclosure during the day but ensure that they are locked safe in their coop at night, which is when they are most vulnerable to attack (although daytime attacks are certainly not unheard of). Chickens like a snug house with a perch so that they can fall asleep on it, snuggled up and touching one another. This keeps them warm and seems also to give them comfort. If there are too few chickens in a large house, they will get cold, lose condition and can even die. Housing should be dry and airy, and there should be unlimited access to water.

Chickens only eat in the light, so ensure that they are fed properly during the day. The feed for a meat bird is different from that of a layer (see page 202). A good, balanced diet is essential. Corn works well for a bird over 6 weeks old and has the advantage of having a high fat content, which helps them gain weight; it also gives the skin a gorgeous yellow colour. But it should be fed to layers only as a very rare treat as the protein levels in corn are inappropriate for egg production – it’s about as healthy as feeding a child burgers and chocolate. Milled pellets are another option, but always check the ingredients for any chemical additives (some have been banned in EU countries).

Many commercial chicken units attempt to ‘finish’ a bird quickly, in just 42 (broilers) to 56 (free range) days after hatching. (‘Finished’ is the term used to indicate when an animal is ready for slaughter.) The birds are fed an intensive, high-protein diet to increase their weight rapidly. They are usually hybrids and bred as eating machines, to the extent that their legs often don’t develop quickly enough to keep up with their general growth rate and aren’t able to support their bodies. The demand for cheap meat means that farmers produce the chickens in the most cost-effective way possible, to the extreme detriment of the bird. By contrast, a non-commercial, free-range bird that is allowed to develop naturally may take up to 6 months to reach an ideal weight. Not only will it have a far superior flavour, it will also have lived a longer, happier life.

Pigs

A single pig is about as destructive as a medium-sized nuclear bomb. But this natural power can easily be turned to the owner’s advantage. Pigs will clear any old scrap of land, eating all the weeds and roots, bugs and slugs and snails in the process. They can therefore be used to dig over last year’s vegetable patch, fertilizing as they go, so that it’s ready to be planted again. But the big downside to this is that the pig won’t differentiate between the area that needs clearing and your glorious flower borders!

The easiest way to keep a pig in one place is to run electric wire through plastic ‘keepers’ (an old watering hose is perfect) that have been attached to wooden stakes positioned every 1.8–2.4m/6–8ft around the area you want to enclose. Snip off several 2.5cm/1in lengths from the hose (the number will of course depend on how many posts you use for your enclosure) and secure two of the plastic keepers (hose sections) to each of the wooden stakes with U nails: one keeper should be about 15cm/6in above the ground, the second should be about 20cm/8in above the first keeper. Run a single line of wire around the enclosure, feeding it first through all the top keepers and then, going around a second time, through all the bottom keepers (so you are running one strand of wire twice around your enclosure). Then attach a pulsar to the wire. It will emit a pulse of electricity every 3 or 4 seconds that will give the pigs a mild electric shock if they touch the wire. The pigs may attempt to break out of the enclosure a couple of times until they become familiar with the fencing. But thereafter it should prove to be an effective deterrent, although pigs are intelligent animals and notorious escapologists, so nothing apart from a solid brick wall can really guarantee their confinement! The great advantage of electric wire is that you can move it to another location, depending on your needs. Pulsars can be purchased on the Internet or at speciality shops.

The best and most cost-effective time to buy a pig is just after it has been weaned from its mother, at around 8 weeks old. It is preferable to buy a traditional, rare breed rather than a commercial breed. Not only does this contribute to the continuity of the breed, but rare breeds grow more slowly than commercial breeds, which gives a greater depth of flavour to the meat. Commercial pigs are bred as meat machines and give a leaner carcass, but this can be at the expense of flavour (commercial breeds ‘finish’ in around 4 months, compared with 8 to 10 months or more for traditional breeds). Whatever your preference, the piglets should be podgy, lively and inquisitive. Keep them in groups of two or more. If your intention is to eat them, don’t make the mistake of giving them a name, as this makes it even more difficult to part with them when the time comes to take them to slaughter.

Most breeders give their weaners an ivermectin injection at 8 weeks. This covers them for the next 6 months against internal and external parasites. Always check with the breeder that this has been given. If it has not, then consider having a worm count carried out at around 4 months old to see if they need worming.

A pig house, or ark, is a corrugated metal construction with a solid wall at one end and an opening at the other. Arks come in various shapes and can be bought or made at home, and usually have skids or handholds so that they can be moved easily from place to place. Despite popular belief, pigs are clean, fastidious animals and like to go outside to do their business, even at night. For this reason, a pig house seldom needs to be cleaned out, but the bed should always be topped up with fresh straw.

Pigs need fresh water and ‘hard feed’ throughout their lives – this usually comes in the form of milled pellets. The pellets contain different concentrations of protein. The amount of protein required depends on the stage of development, but a 17 per cent protein diet often works well. As a general rule of thumb, a traditional breed of pig should be given 0.5kg/1lb of feed per day for each month of its life up to a maximum of 2.3kg/5lb of feed at 5 months (so a 2-month-old piglet would need 0.9kg/2lb of hard feed, whereas a 7-month-old pig would still be on 2.3kg/5lb a day, and so on for the rest of its life). But nothing beats the ‘stockman’s eye’, the ability of experienced owners to gauge the condition of their animals simply by looking at them. Supplementing the diet with vegetables is fine, but slop, meat and food, including raw peelings, that has spent any time in a kitchen is now prohibited in the UK for animals (even chickens) classed by DEFRA as farm animals, whether they are intended for consumption or are just pets. Failure to comply with this regulation attracts not only a hefty fine but a mandatory prison sentence. Many people ‘finish’ their pigs with a high concentration of barley in the last few weeks of life. Although this fattens the pigs, it can adversely affect the texture of the meat. It’s always best to keep everything as nature intended and not to finish them unnaturally fast.

There is an optimum amount of feed a pig needs in order to grow and mature. After obtaining a certain body mass, they tend to put down fat alone. So increasing a pig’s feed in the last months of its life and taking it to slaughter as late as possible does not necessarily result in a better carcass. All the breeds finish at different weights, and it is important to research the optimum killing weight of the breed you have chosen.

Weighing a pig at any point in its life involves some string, a tape measure and a simple calculation. Run the string around the pig’s middle, just behind the front legs, and make a note of where it meets. Then measure the string. Next, take the measurement from between the ears to the root of the tail. Then calculate as follows:

Girth2 × length ÷ 400 = live weight

This calculation must be done in inches. It will give the ‘live’ weight of the pig in pounds (lb). To convert to kilograms, divide the final weight by 2.2. To obtain the carcass weight (accurate to within 3 per cent), reduce the answer by a third.

Pigs are adorable and can bring immense pleasure, which means that taking them to slaughter can be extremely difficult. But take heart from the fact that you can gradually learn to disassociate the meat you eat at the table from the pigs that you were so attached to.

Body language

Pigs have seven sounds with which they can communicate. They cover the big emotions of fear, food, sex, high excitement, aggression, affection (often towards piglets) and contentment. In addition, they are masters of body language.

To get an idea of how to tune into a pig’s body language, imagine you’re in a noisy nightclub with no way of hearing or being heard by those around you. How would you make yourself understood? First, think shape. What does your body shape say? Hands on hips, feet wide apart and shoulders thrown back has a very different meaning to someone sitting hunched forward on a chair with hands tucked tight between their closed thighs and eyes peering out through eyebrows. Next, what does your face say? There are plenty of data to support the fact that pigs understand the difference between a smile and a frown.

How does this transfer to pigs? Pigs see outline first, when you’re going in with a group of pigs make sure your outline is soft and non-threatening, and for goodness’ sake smile.

Personal space: a pig will react very similar to us if their personal space is invaded without invite – it’s uncomfortable and irritating and they will react accordingly. Take your mind back to the noisy nightclub and imagine you see a friend you want to hug, how do you make it known that’s what you want to do, and what signs do you look for that this will be acceptable? You might open your arms, move forward hesitantly, swaying backwards and forwards, ready to bail out at the first sign of rejection. Now I’m not saying you should go and find a pig to hug (though why not?), but when approaching a pig those same rules still apply: warn them what you’re going to do, open your body, show the palms of your hands, be non-threatening and be prepared to move away if it shows signs of distress.

Chat and be relaxed. A pig can’t understand what you’re saying, but it will pick up on the tone. For that reason talk in a soft voice the way you might speak to a child you’re meeting for the first time. Soft and light and happy. Most of all, remember pigs are not stupid. Show them respect, treat them kindly and approach them as you would a friend.

Sheep

Don’t be fooled into thinking that, because we may see sheep grazing happily in the field day after day, they’re easy to manage. They’re not. Keeping sheep properly involves considerable care and attention. The industry assesses a sheep’s condition by means of ‘condition points’, which range from 1 to 6: 1 denotes a sheep in extremely poor condition, with bones that can be easily felt through the fleece; 6 denotes a sheep in show condition; a sheep reared for meat would require about 4 condition points. It takes around 6 weeks of hard work and good feed to increase a sheep’s condition by just half a point, which means that a sheep in poor condition can take up to 36 weeks to bring into its prime.

Sheep need routine worming and should be sheared once a year. Dagging – trimming the wool from around the anus and tail – is also crucial as flies lay their eggs in the faeces that gather here and can cause major problems, especially when the maggots hatch and start burrowing into the skin, causing a condition called ‘fly strike’. Drenching – administering oral medication and supplements, such as selenium and cobalt – is important for ensuring adequate nutrition if the ground is lacking in essential vitamins, minerals and enzymes. And then there is foot trimming, which involves cutting back the hoof to prevent the accumulation of muck, dirt and germs. If left unchecked this can turn into ‘foot rot’, a painful condition that can make it uncomfortable for the animal to stand upright or walk and will result in a rapid loss of condition.

If you intend to keep just a handful of lambs, think about asking someone nearby with a flock, and expertise, if you can buy some ewes with lambs at foot to run on your land. Even the most experienced shepherd will tell you that sheep are born to die. So, as a condition of the sale, ask if they could buddy your husbandry and help keep an eye on your flock. Sometimes you can do everything according to the book – be vigilant and meticulous in your husbandry and feeding regime, for example – and still they’ll find a way of either committing suicide or dropping dead. That’s sheep for you!

But on the plus side, sheep don’t require housing as long as there is somewhere in the field they can find shelter (for example, a bank to lie against or a couple of trees to stand under). Although they need access to water, they drink very little and obtain most of the moisture they need from the grass. Spring grass is wonderful for sheep, full of nutrients and energy, but in the autumn its goodness wanes and they will require hard feed. In a small flock, getting sheep to come to a bucket to feed is important. Always feed them at the same time of day in roughly the same area. If possible, construct a small enclosure from hurdles so that they become accustomed to entering the area to eat. This will mean that when you need to catch them for anything they will enter the enclosed space willingly. Always touch them while they are feeding. Run your hand down the backbone to determine how prominent and knobbly it is – as above (page 214), this will give you a rough guide to the animal’s condition (a woolly sheep is virtually impossible to judge by eye) and will familiarize the sheep with human contact. A flighty, nervous sheep that is not used to being touched can turn nasty when handled.

Lambs are classified as lambs for the first 12 months of their lives but thereafter are referred to as hogget. Most farmers aim to lamb their ewes in early springtime, when the grass is rich and sweet and will give the babies a good start. They are generally ready for slaughter at between 8 and 11 months (6 months in some commercial breeds). As with chickens and pigs, consumers have been brainwashed into believing that eating them early is best. But the argument for this is purely financial because the flavour of hogget, and even mutton (24 months plus), is far superior to that of lamb. With this in mind, it is entirely possible to plan so that a dozen or so sheep can keep a family in fresh meat for a considerable period of time, without the need to kill every one of them within 12 months.

Body language

A sheep can recognize up to 50 other sheep on sight, which is then hilarious when you shear them and they run around like, ‘You sound like my friend but you sure don’t look like her!’ And that pretty much tells you everything you need to know about sheep. They’re not the brightest.

However as soon as you realise they’re not going to appear on Mastermind any time soon, it does help you understand them, and with understanding comes the ability to trick them into doing what you want them to do. A sheep’s main motivation is food. This is both good – they will happily follow a bucket of nuts – and bad, because if another field looks more tasty than the one they’re in they will try everything to escape into it.

The powers of body language and voice control are key. Make your body smaller by hunching over and they’re far less likely to feel intimidated than if you make yourself big and wide and start screaming like a banshee, although, in the right circumstances, both approaches are valid.

Goats

Hang knickers on the line and a goat will eat them – the knickers and the line. Given the chance, they’ll eat anything. But apart from this minor irritation, they are quite easy to care for and can be affectionate. They are also more intelligent than sheep, which isn’t difficult. In addition to producing delicious meat, a goat can keep a family in milk, butter, cheese and yoghurt with very little effort – milking twice a day takes about 40 minutes in total (20 minutes per session). An added attraction is that Cashmere and Angora goats have stunning coats that can be spun and made into fabulous clothing (including the warmest, most luxurious socks imaginable).

Like all undomesticated animals, goats are happiest living outside. They don’t do well in draughty or wet conditions and will need a lean-to or an overnight barn in which to shelter from extreme weather (snow, ice and heavy winds and rain). The roof of the shelter must be high enough for the goat to stand upright on its hind legs (which they have a tendency to do) and still have room to stretch out its head. The shelter must be dry and draught-free and should allow for approximately 6sq m/65sq ft of space for each animal housed under the shelter.

The ideal turnout area for a goat is a combination of woods and pastureland, preferably with a hill or steep bank, as their natural urge is to climb. They are browsers, so although they will eat grass, they are not predisposed to it as sheep are. Greens, raw vegetables and peelings, branches and cut grass are among their favourite foods and they require uninterrupted access to fresh, clean water. Goats thrive in small groups, but will pine and lose weight if left on their own. Fencing should be strong and a minimum of 1.8m/6ft high as they are adept jumpers and may well spot greener grass on the other side of the fence. More goat meat is consumed throughout the world than any other red meat. It is a surprisingly healthy option as it contains minimal calories and less cholesterol and saturated fats than chicken, pork, lamb or beef.

Body language

Goats express emotion both in big and small ways. The big ways are obvious: when they’re scared they run away, if a foot hurts they lift that leg, all pretty simple so far. But it’s the small ways that are captivating, and for that you’ve got to look at their face.

A goat’s facial expression will change with how they feel in much the same way as ours, and as such eyes, and the muscles around the eyes are the most telling. Pain, confusion or stress will cause the muscles around the eyes of a goat to tense up, and, depending how severe the upset is, it can change the shape and look of the face dramatically. Conversely, when a goat is happy and chilled the muscles around the eyes relax.

Wide open eyes are a good indicator that the goat is fearful, and that, coupled with ears that are either swivelling to capture the sound of a potential predator, or pointing in different directions, mean the goat is stressed and far more likely to run away.

Of course these expressions of emotion are meant to be used to pass on information within a herd, so goats are naturally on the lookout for it. As we humans also express a lot of our emotions through our faces, it’s vital when approaching goats to consciously relax our face and shoulders, or we risk having goats that freak out every time we go near them.

Cattle

Beef cattle represent the biggest time commitment of any of the animals mentioned in this chapter (they are usually taken to slaughter between 24 and 30 months). Calves are generally weaned at between 6 and 12 months, and this is an ideal time to buy them. If you have the option of buying them younger, think about having a mother with calf at foot: not only will the animals have companionship but it will also mean that you can learn how to hand milk (any excess milk can be fed to the pigs, who fatten nicely on it). It’s likely that you will encounter greater problems if you buy a calf that is younger than 6 months. On the whole, cows are easy to take care of. In the summer they live out all the time, and although it is possible to continue this through the winter months, especially if you can forage them on crops such as kale, you may find their condition will tail off as they start using up their bulk to keep warm. It is therefore best if you have somewhere to bring them in, such as a stone barn with a straw area for them to sleep on, and a rack for fodder.

Cattle don’t usually suffer from problems with their feet and there is no routine medication to worry about, apart from worming of the calves – they are highly susceptible to worms and must be treated. But they seem to develop immunity with age, so adult cattle don’t require treatment.

The chances are that unless your turn-out meadow is extremely rich in nutrients, you will have to finish the cow artificially on concentrates. These are mainly made up from by-products, such as bread waste, root crops and extracts from the brewing industry, all of which are designed for maximum weight increase. A concentrated mix suitable for your area and requirements will be available from food suppliers, so it’s worth talking to them directly.

The United Kingdom, the European Union and the United States have rigorous programmes for the testing of bovine tuberculosis, which have resulted in the virtual eradication of the disease. All cattle in these regions (including water buffalo and bison) have ear tags and passports, and essential information is recorded at a central database. In the UK this centre is the British Cattle Movement Service (BCMS). As soon as a producer registers the purchase of cattle with one of these bodies, it automatically triggers a bovine tuberculosis testing programme that has to be adhered to. All tests are carried out by a vet.

Before taking cattle to slaughter, the abattoir will need a clear tuberculosis test certificate and the animal’s passport as proof of age. Contact your abattoir at least 2 months before you intend to take your cattle, and discuss with them the necessary routine and requirements so that the day passes smoothly.

Body language

The main thing to note when looking at communication and body language of cows is they have very long memories and will hold a grudge for a long time, in some cases for many years – dis them and they will make you pay!

Cows are social animals forming long and stable friendships that they may express by licking (this can also be done as part of the hierarchy, a weaker member of the herd licking a higher-ranking cow), and if they accept a human as a friend they will often lick them too.

But they can be quick to temper, and even quicker to kick when they want. Five signs that a cow is dangerous and on the verge of attack include: 1. staring unblinkingly at you; 2. shaking and lowering its head at you; 3. pawing the ground; 4. bellowing; and, 5. charging. If they also have young with them you need to beware. In all these instances, move quietly away, do not make eye contact and do not turn your back, and do not run unless absolutely necessary. If the cow continues moving towards you aggressively, make some noise, wave your hands in the air and get out of there as fast as possible.

On a more subtle level, ears and tail will tell you a lot about the animal’s sense of wellbeing. Relaxed ears and a long straight tail denote a happy, contented cow, whereas sharp ears flicking from side to side and a tail tucked up underneath are signs of stress and unease.

Buying meat ethically

It’s now easier than ever to source meat ethically reared with love and care and attention, meat that’s so much nicer and so much better for you, not to mention the fact that the animal’s had a happy, stress-free life and a fear-free end, which is all any of us can hope for.

Most farms these days have a website with pictures and information on how their animals are kept, along with details on how to order. A quick search online should throw up any number of places who will either send out or allow you to collect from the gate. If there’s a phone number, call them, chat to them, gently quiz them on how they keep their animals as a passionate farmer will welcome your interest.

Quality butchers’ shops where the butcher not only knows which farm their meat comes from, but knows the farmer well enough to sit down and have a cup of tea with them, are worth their weight in gold. There’s often a sign up displaying the individual farm, like: Pork from Fred’s farm down the road, and that way you know you’re getting the best, but even so, talk to the butcher and double check.

Many small producers sell at weekly farmers’ markets, standing behind stalls with very obviously home-packed goodies. These are often the best places to buy the most delicious meats, but again talk to them, find out how they feel about their animals and their produce.

FISHING

The Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations (FAO) estimates that the number of people throughout the world involved in fishing is a staggering 38 million. For some people, fishing is a recreational sport, with the river bank or sea shore offering an ideal escape from the stresses and strains of modern life. For others it is a serious profession and, certainly in poorer regions of the world, can mean the difference between life and death. For the self-sufficient ‘surf and turfer’, fish represents an important part of a healthy, balanced diet. Omega-3 fish oils, found in oily fish, such as mackerel, salmon and trout, are beneficial in the prevention of heart disease. It is also believed that a regular intake of omega-3 can improve your general well-being and help combat depression.

At its most basic, fishing involves a rod, a line, and time. Lots and lots of time. The equipment ranges dramatically in price and quality, and it’s not uncommon for a serious angler to spend as much money on tackle as many people would spend on a run-around car. But it doesn’t need to be that expensive. The best place to search for a starter kit is on the Internet, perhaps sourcing a second-hand rod and line on one of the big auction sites. Once you have the equipment and are reasonably happy with how it all works, find an experienced fisherman, buy them a coffee, and find out where the best fishing sites can be found. Alternatively, if you’re interested in sea fishing, contact the local coastguard, who is often an invaluable source of information on tides, currents and good fishing spots. Finding the right location is crucial and often provides the key to actually catching fish as opposed to subjecting others to lengthy stories of how they got away.

The world of fishing is a complex one, filled with different hooks, line strengths and baits and techniques, all designed to catch different fish. To become proficient takes years, but the joy of landing a couple of fresh mackerel that can be turned into a stunning fishcake, or a trout, simply baked with a knob of butter and a couple of wedges of lemon, makes every second of effort worthwhile. And it’s not as if the apprenticeship is arduous – it simply involves standing on the shore looking out to sea, or sitting on the bank of a river enjoying the beautiful surroundings and keeping an eye on the fish piling up in your ‘keep net’. However, an apprenticeship it is, and nothing can take the place of practice, which may not make you perfect, but it should at least get you something good to eat for dinner.

Mackerel fishcakes

A light and zingy summer night’s dish makes a great end to a day’s hard fishing.

3 mackerel, gutted, skinned and boned, then finely chopped

4 spring onions (scallions)

4 field mushrooms, finely chopped

2.5cm/1in piece root ginger, finely chopped

oil, for frying

sea salt and freshly ground black pepper

Put all the ingredients in a bowl and mix together. Shape the mixture into patties and fry in a tiny amount of oil on both sides until the cakes are golden brown. Serve immediately.