Chapter Ten
INTRODUCING THE 12-WEEK BETTER MOOD RECOVERY PROGRAM
“To optimize the function of the healing system, you must do everything in your power to improve physical health, mental/emotional health, and spiritual health…One must see the whole picture of health, and understand the importance of working on all fronts”
—Andrew Weil, Eight Weeks to Optimal Health
A wise physician once told me the following proverb: If you lose your possessions, you've lost a lot. If you lose your health, you've lost a great deal more. But if you lose your peace of mind, you've lost everything!”
Depression and anxiety rob us of this most precious gift—our emotional serenity. Over the next twelve weeks we are going to recover this lost gem—a treasure more valuable than all the riches of the world.
The way back to mental health lies through what I call the “better mood recovery program”—a combination of self-care activities and coping strategies whose purpose is to rewire the brain and to balance its biochemistry. This structure has been thoroughly tested—by myself during my four years of recovery—as well as by hundreds of people in my workshops and depression support groups.
Please consider using the better mood recovery program if you find yourself in any of the following situations:
1) You are currently experiencing an episode of clinical depression or manic depression (bipolar disorder).
2) You are currently experiencing episodes of anxiety or panic that often accompany clinical depression.
3) You are suffering from dysthymia (low-grade chronic depression) or cyclothymia (a less severe form of manic depression) and desire to elevate or to stabilize you mood (See Appendix A to learn how to identify these conditions). While dysthymia and cyclothymia do not disable, they take the zest out of life and keep you from functioning at an optimal level.
4) You have already experienced one or more episodes of depression or anxiety or depression and wish to live optimally and prevent a relapse.
5) You wish to cope better with everyday stress, remain calm in times of turmoil, or create a better mood more often in your life.
How To Use the Program
As the name implies, the better mood recovery program is designed to improve your overall mood and bring you closer to emotional serenity.1 This course will not remove all of your symptoms or effect a total “cure.” Recovery from depression and anxiety is an ongoing process, not a one time event. What you will gain from the program is a set of tools that you can use to significantly improve your state of mind and help you to stay well so that you don't have to experience future depressive episodes.
Before you begin the program, I would first like you to ask the yourself the question, “How am I doing right now? How distressing are my symptoms?” With regards to the hellish realms of depression and anxiety, you probably fall into one of two categories:
1) You are “in hell” trying to get out.
2) You are “out of hell” trying to stay out.
If you fall into category #2 and you are in between depressive episodes or you suffer from a mild form of depression or anxiety, you should be able to read through each weekly lesson, complete the assignments, and meet with your buddy/coach to report your progress and get support. This also applies if you are using this program to cope with stress or improve your overall mood.
If, however, you fall into category #1 and are in extreme psychological and/or physical pain, completing the program will be more difficult. It may be that can't concentrate or read; or perhaps you lack the energy or motivation to pursue even the simplest of tasks. If this is the case, my advice is simple—DO THE BEST YOU CAN. (Meanwhile, make sure you are getting good medical or psychiatric treatment). Even if you can only read a paragraph or a page at a sitting, I encourage you to do so. I know that you will find something of value in these pages. Another idea is to have a friend or family member read the weekly chapters to you—or at least summarize them.
In addition, let me suggest the following coping strategies to you:
1. Set the intention to heal. Make the decision that you want to get well, even if you don't know how or believe it is possible.
2. Reach out for support—to other people and to Spirit.
a) Seek the help and support of friends, family, etc.
b) Make sure that you are receiving proper medical treatment, both from a psychiatrist or prescriber (for medication) and from a therapist.
c) Turn to pages ____ and place your name on one of the 24-hour telephone prayer lines. The 30-day prayer support you receive will make a big difference
3. Locate a day treatment program in your area (also known as day hospital or partial hospitalization) and attend it. Call your local hospital or mental health clinic for a referral. The daily structure and support can be lifesaving.
4. Consider hospitalization if you feel totally overwhelmed or are not feeling safe (see Chapter 11).
5. If your pain feels unbearable, break it down into manageable bits by asking, “What can I do to get through each day?” Live one day at a time, one hour at a time, one breath at a time.
6. Ask spirit (or your Higher Power) to stay in the pain until it repatterns. Read (or re-read) Chapters 4 and 5 of my personal narrative (pp. 53-72) to see how I coped with extreme emotional pain.
Healing From Depression Flow Chart
The chart below depicts how to proceed with the better mood recovery program, based on the intensity of your symptoms.
7. Locate the phone number of your local mental health crisis line and call it as often as you need to. You may also call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline toll free at 1-800-784-2433.
8. Have someone repeat to you again and again, “This too shall pass.” Know that the vast majority of people who have experienced this kind of pain have come out the other side.
9. Take heart in the fact that you are reading these lines written by a survivor. Use my story in the first half of this book to provide the hope that survival is possible.
10. If you are feeling suicidal, reach out for support. Talk to others. Call 1-800-784-2433 for immediate counseling.
11. Turn to Chapter 11 where you will learn about five interventions for dealing with acute symptoms of depression and anxiety.
If you follow the above suggestions, hang in there and reach out for support, you will be delivered from your dark night of the soul. As your pain diminishes and you begin to feel more stable, you will gain the motivation and focus to work this program and reap its benefits.
Program Structure
I have tried to make the better mood recovery program as “user friendly” as possible, having broken the information into small, bite-sized steps so that it can be easily digested and integrated over time. Although I am presenting my plan as a 12-week program, it also can be viewed as a series of steps which you can implement in any order and over any time frame. Obviously, for the ease of using this book, it makes most sense to work through the material in the order that I have presented it. (This is especially crucial for Weeks 1 and 2.) If however, a certain topic calls out to you (e.g., the piece on cognitive restructuring), you can skip ahead and preview that particular week.
Moreover, you don't have to complete the program in exactly twelve weeks. Recovery is not a race. While some folks do best with a highly structured time-limited approach, others heal better when they follow their own pace. So, if it takes you four to six months to integrate these self-care principles into your life, that is fine. What is most important is that you make these “habits of wellness” a part of your daily life.
The Three Steps of the Better Mood Recovery Program
The Program Overview
The Better Mood Recovery Program consists of three life-changing steps.
Step 1: Set the intention to heal. Make the decision that you want to get well, even if you don't know how. Setting the intention to heal is the starting point of all recovery. You will learn about this principle in Week 1 of the program.
Step 2: Reach out for support. Love and connection are an essential part of the healing process. In Week 2 of the program, you will take the first steps to building your personal support team that will guide you to recovery.
Step 3: Treat your symptoms using a combination of mutually supportive therapies. An example of this integrative approach can be seen in the way we treat heart disease. If you went to a cardiologist and wanted to know how to prevent a heart attack (or to recover from one), he or she might prescribe a cholesterol-lowering medication and tell you to eat a low-fat diet, exercise three to four times a week, and cut down on the stress in your life.
Healing From Depression and Anxiety: Five Areas of Therapeutic Self-Care2
The Goal: To experience a better mood, free from depression and anxiety.
In a similar manner, depression can also be treated holistically—i.e., on a variety of levels. In working to achieve my own emotional balance, I have identified five such levels—physical self-care, mental/emotional self-care, social support, spiritual connection, and lifestyle habits. (A visual overview of these areas is depicted by the diagram on the previous page.) These holistic therapies will be covered in Weeks 3-12 of the better mood program.
The Recovery Puzzle
Healing from depression can be likened to assembling a jigsaw puzzle. For the puzzle (and ourselves) to be whole and complete, all of the pieces must be in their proper place.
Taking the First Step—Self Assessment
Before you proceed to Week 1 of the 12-week Better Mood Recovery Program, I would like you take the initial step of assessing where you are now in your treatment. Take a moment and look over the diagram of holistic self-care strategies on the previous page. As you read through the activities listed under each of the five headings—physical, mental/emotional, social, spiritual and lifestyle habits—I would like you to think about which strategies you are already practicing in your life. Perhaps you have satisfactory exercise routine or are seeing a good therapist. Maybe you are already meditating once a day, getting out in nature, or are engaged in volunteer work. In pen, enter those strategies which you are already using under the appropriate category in the diagram above—i.e., meditation under spiritual connection, time in nature under lifestyle habits, volunteer work under social support. Whatever you are doing that is working for you now—i.e. helping you to feel stable and well—write it down under the appropriate heading. When you are finished, you will have a portrait of the current state of your recovery program.
Healing From Depression and Anxiety: My Five Areas of Therapeutic Self-Care
The Goal: To experience a better mood, free from depression and anxiety.
In the space below, write down those self-care activities that are now a part of your daily life. As you learn the better mood recovery program, you will be adding new tools and activities to this list.
Next, I would like you to look over the therapeutic self-care diagram on page 141 and determine which of those activities you would like to add to what you are already doing. Then write them in pencil or a different colored pen in the diagram on the previous page. As you learn the better mood recovery program, you will be adding these tools and strategies to your daily routine. At the end of the program, you will have the opportunity to reevaluate where you are and note the progress you have made.
A significant advantage of this kind of active participation is that it puts you in charge of your healing. You are about to become your own personal trainer, your own coach, your own guide and healer. This level of involvement has been shown by research to be a powerful antidote to the feelings of powerless that so often accompany the experience of depression. Or as one group member put it, “Good things happen when you take the throttle.”
Now let's begin the better mood recovery program.
1 I define “mood” as a consistent extension of emotion in time. While emotions can change in seconds or minutes, our mood is our “emotional set point” which remains fairly neutral and stable unless it is disrupted by a mood disorder such as depression or anxiety.
2 This program is meant to support, not replace, any medical treatment a person may be receiving.