The Better Mood Recovery Program, Week 1

SETTING THE INTENTION TO HEAL

“It's not who you are, or what your parents decided for you, or what you were ‘fated to be’ that counts. What counts is knowing who you want to be and asking for it.”

—Bruce Wilkinson, The Prayer of Jabez

First Week Overview

In this week you will set the intention to heal by creating a “vision of wellness.”

The Taoist philosopher Lao Tsu once said, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Today, you are setting out on a journey of healing from anxiety and depression. What is your first step as you begin this quest? It is simply to state your intention to get well.

This may seem like a simple act, but it has profound ramifications for your future health and well being. It doesn't matter how long you have suffered from anxiety or depression. Perhaps, like myself, you have been struggling since childhood; or maybe your first episode began six months or six weeks ago. Regardless of the time involved, the first step is the same—making the decision to heal.

For some readers, this may be asking a lot, since depression robs us of energy, motivation and hope. Fortunately, at this point, I am not asking you to do anything, only to make a decision. You don't have to know how your healing will take place. You don't have to believe that it is possible. If you are feeling particularly hopeless or discouraged right now, ask yourself this question: “Is there a part of me, even if it is ten percent or one percent, that wants to feel better?” If you can find just a molecule within you that says, “I WANT TO LIVE,” your healing journey will have begun.

By setting the intention to heal you will stimulate and support your body's “healing system”—its innate capacity to control disease and bring itself back into balance.” Physician Andrew Weil describes this phenomenon in the book Spontaneous Healing. Weil writes:

The body can heal itself. It can do so because it has a healing system. At every level of biological organization, from DNA up, mechanisms of self-diagnosis, self-repair, and regeneration exist in us. Medicine that takes advantage of this innate healing is more effective than medicine that simply suppresses symptoms.

Although we call depression a “mental illness,” the disorder manifests with debilitating physical symptoms. And as anyone who has survived an episode of depression knows, the brain and body can heal themselves if they are given the right support. Saying, “I want to feel better,” is the first step in changing your brain chemistry.

Intention is not like wishful thinking which is abstract, vague and passive. Like an arrow flying toward a target, intention is clear, specific, and has the power of commitment behind it. It is this one-pointed commitment which activates a benevolent aspect of the universe that will support you in realizing your desire to be well. Perhaps this is why W.H. Murray writes:

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen events and meetings and material assistance, which no one could have dreamt would come their way..

I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets: “Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.” Begin it now. (W.H. Murray, The Scottish Expedition)1

Once again, I wish to emphasize that I am not asking you to do anything, only to get in touch with your desire to be well. If you don't believe that healing is attainable, be open to the possibility. Be willing to be healed.

For example, during my most recent episode of major depression, I thought that my chances of surviving were close to zero. But just as Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz never lost sight of her desire to return to Kansas, I continued to say to the universe, “Heal me from my affliction. Please release me from this pain.” Eventually, the higher powers responded to my request and delivered me from the abyss.

Healing Tool #1: Your Vision of Wellness

Lord, we know what we are, but know not what we may be.

—Shakespeare, Hamlet

There are two basic tools that you will be using to translate your intention to heal into a reality. The first and most important is the vision statement. Essentially, your vision statement will answer the question, “What would my life look and feel like if I were free from the symptoms of anxiety and depression?”

A vision statement is based on the second habit from Steven Covey's The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People—“begin with the end in mind.” According to Covey, this habit arises from the principle that “all things are created twice”—first in the mind and then in the world of form. In writing a vision statement, you create an exact mental blueprint or picture of health that you that you are seeking to bring into your life.

Vision statements have been used for years in the business community. Most organizations have some form of “mission statement” that defines their purpose and informs the way they carry our their daily activities. Olympic athletes also engage in creative visioning through the practice of “visual rehearsal.” For example, the gymnast will play over his entire routine in his imagination before he sets foot on the mat. In so doing, he is programming his nervous system to direct his body to perform optimally.

In a similar fashion, you can communicate a vision of health and healing to your brain and nervous system. The following exercise will show you how.

Composing a Vision Statement

Imagine for a moment, that you were in a state of health and wholeness. Imagine that your mental and emotional health were functioning at optimal levels. What it be like for you to be in a better mood?

How would your body look and feel? How much energy would you have available to you?

How would you be feeling most of the time? What types of thoughts would you be thinking?

What types of relationships would you have? What kind of work would you be involved in? What would your spiritual life be like?

Drawing upon the answers to the above questions, on a separate page write a paragraph (or more) describing your vision of mental and emotional health.

See if you can use all five senses—sight, hearing, touch, smell and taste—to depict your experience. Set it down in the present tense, as if the experience were happening now.

As you proceed with this exercise, do your best to write something, even if recovery from depression seems like a distant reality. If you can't imagine yourself being completely well, choose to see yourself feeling “a little bit better.” One woman simply stated, “I just want to feel my life force again.” Remember, I am not asking you to believe in your healing; only to desire it.

 

Barbara's Vision of Health and Wellness

This vision statement was written by Barbara, a professional author and one of the members of my depression support group.

I am a woman of strength and resilience. I accept the ebb and flow of life with humor and openness, knowing I am always safe. I take Love with me wherever I go. I gratefully receive the love and support of my friends and make my strength, love and support available to them in appropriate ways.

I can say “No” when I feel overextended and continue to love and accept myself and to be loved and accepted by others. If someone is unused to my saying “no” and becomes upset, I can simply bless them, remembering that they, too, are only human. I continue to love and respect myself.

My body is strong and capable. Every cell hums with vibrant good health. I love to exercise and to feel my body work. I let all body sensations, nervous or otherwise, flow through me as I relax and rest in the comfort and care of a Higher Power. The true me is always at peace.

I enjoy the world and spend time each day in nature and with people. I am eager to start work each day. The work is challenging and fun! I trust my talent and relax into my work schedule, looking forward just as eagerly to the end of the workday—time to venture out into the world!

I love getting out and about, as comfortable when I'm by myself as I am with others. I love to explore new places and new activities. The world seems like a friendly place, and I am secure and strong within it.

I easily stay in touch with friends and family. Whether or not I have accomplished all I expected to, I remember the lilies of the field and the sparrows—they don't work for God's love and care; it is a free gift.

When I get into bed at night, I fall asleep with a peaceful mind, a grateful heart, and a body that feels comfortable and alive. I sleep well and awaken refreshed and with new confidence and energy to begin another adventure!

 

If this still seems like too much, ask someone to help you write your vision statement—e.g., a friend, family member, your counselor, your doctor, etc. You don't have to do this work alone.

There are many ways to write a vision statement. On pages 149 and 151, I have printed three sample vision statements of different length. Barbara's was written by a professional author and is the longest. Laura's is short and simple. Michael's is medium length.

As these examples illustrate, there is no specific way to compose a vision statement. Your statement doesn't have to beautifully written—it just needs to speak to you. Trust your own VOICE. Let the words come from your heart. There is no need to compare yourself to others.

Also, don't worry about creating a perfect vision the first time. Over the next few weeks, you will have numerous opportunities to modify your statement. My own vision statement went through five drafts until it arrived at its current form.

In addition, you might want to include visual imagery such as a tree, that gives you the feeling of strength and wholeness. Meditating on this image every day will help your subconscious mind to make your vision of wellness a reality.

Another option is to create a collage where you depict images of wellness using cut-out pictures from old magazines. When I attended art therapy at day treatment, creating these collages allowed me to give expression to my feelings and dreams that I could not verbalize. A sample of such a collage appears on page 153.

The important thing is to start someplace, even if it is to wish for a tiny improvement. Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

 

Laura's Vision of Health and Wellness

The following vision statement is only two lines, but it perfectly captures the essence of joy and wellness.

I am healed, whole and complete.

I am fully alive, filled with love, joy and gratitude.

 

 

Michael's Vision of Health and Wellness

Michael, a group member who suffered from anxiety as well as depression, wrote this vision statement to describe his desire to return to his old life.

I am calm and peaceful. My energy is strong and good, I am engaged in life with my family, friends and co-workers. I am happy and easy going. I sleep well and peaceful at night. I wake up in the morning looking forward to my day, whether it is new design challenges at work or weekends where nothing is planned.

I look forward to being with and doing things with my friends and family. I travel extensively and I love it. I am a body builder enjoying my great body and my workouts.

I am a good influence on my kids, and they look to me for advice and support which I easily and positively give. I love my life.

 

Healing Tool #2: Setting Goals

When attention is not focused on a goal, the mind typically begins to be filled by disjointed and depressing thoughts. The normal condition of the mind is chaos. When the mind is involved in a goal-directed activity, it acquires order and positive moods.

—Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi, Flow

Once you create your “vision of wellness,” the next task is to break that vision down into smaller “bite-size” steps known as goals. In setting goals, you define what you want, and then formulate a concrete plan by which you can manifest that good. Goal setting will give you the means to take your vision of wellness and make it a present reality.

Virtually every self-improvement book on the market recommends formulating and setting short and long term goals. Here is what Richard Williams, father and coach of tennis pros Venus and Serena Williams, told the New York Times after Venus won the Wimbledon and the US Open:

It doesn't take money to be successful in tennis or golf. It takes determination to do what you're going to do. With that determination and a great player and a great deal of hard work, you will succeed. I really believe that in order to be successful, you must have a plan. It can't be one in your head either, it's got to be one that's written out so your optical nerve can take it to your brain. [Emphasis added]

Just as the Williams sisters had a game plan for excelling at tennis, you will be creating a game plan for getting your life back on track. The constructive and focused aspect of setting goals will calm your mind as you experience yourself as proactive rather than reactive.

Here are some important characteristics of goals:

 

A Picture of Wellness

“A picture is worth a thousand words,” says a Chinese proverb. The collage below was created by cutting and pasting images from magazines. It gives a pictorial representation of someone's vision of wellness.

If you are having a difficult time putting your thoughts and feelings into words, you might consider gathering some old magazines and creating your own wellness collage. Or, if you are artistically inclined, you may want to draw or paint your picture of wellness.2

images

 

There are two kinds of goals that I would like you to work with for this program. The first is a set of long term goals for this program. To formulate these goals, ask yourself, “Over the next 12 weeks what types of changes would I like to see in my thoughts, feelings and behaviors? One simple way to answer this question is take some of your current symptoms (e.g. poor sleep) and turn them into their opposite (sound and restful sleep). A good place to start is to look at the symptoms that you listed when you answered question 4 of the Depression Inventory on pages 132–133. Please refer to them now and decide which ones you would like to see healed. I have provided a “better mood goal sheet” on the opposite page where you can write down these goals.

A second way to formulate long term goals for this program is to read over your vision statement and observe what thoughts, feelings and behaviors were contained in the picture of your optimal health. You may write these goals down in the sheet on the opposite page or in your personal journal.

The second type of goals that you will be working with are your weekly goals. Each week you will decide on one or more simple steps that you can take that will bring you closer to your vision of wellness. You can write your weekly goals on your weekly goal sheet which will be provided at the end of each week's lesson (see page 158 for this week's goal sheet). Filling out your weekly goal sheet will become an integral aspect of your recovery program over the next twelve weeks.

 

My Goals For The Better Mood Recovery Program:

In the space below, list at least three goals that reflect the changes that you would like to see over the next 12 weeks.

One simple way to create a goal is to take a current symptom (e.g. poor sleep) and turn it into its opposite (sound and restful sleep). Thus, the problem of low self-esteem would become the goal of “healthy self-esteem;” the problem of difficulty making decisions would become the goal of “improvement in decision making,” etc.).

To locate symtoms you wish to heal, you can refer to the symptoms you listed on question 4 of the Depression Inventory, page 133. Now proceed to write your goals.

Goals

Write down things you would like to change about :

1) Your thinking

2) Your feelings

3) Your physical well being’

4) Your behaviors

List any further goals below.


 

Putting it All Together

The tools that I have provided: the vision statement, the better mood goal sheet, and weekly goal sheet are designed to take your heartfelt desire for healing and translate it into daily self-care activities that will positively change your brain chemistry and elevate your mood.

An example of how this process works can be seen in the life of Barbara, whose vision statement appears on page 149. In the third paragraph of her vision statement Barbara states, “My body is strong and capable…I love to exercise and feel my body work out.” Barbara took this statement and made it her first goal on the better mood goal sheet:

Goal #1: To incorporate exercise into my daily routine.

Barbara then wrote down the series of steps that it would take to make this goal a reality.

Initial Steps:

1) Call the local gym to research their rates.

2) Call local pool and find out lap swim hours.

3) Talk to fitness instructors about the merits of treadmills vs. swimming.

Later steps:

4) Work out at the gym at 9 A.M., Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

5) Swim at the pool on Tuesday and Thursday after work.

Barbara made these steps her weekly goals. With the encouragement of myself and the members of the support group, she followed through until she was regularly exercising at the gym and pool.

Clearly, this type of process takes motivation and effort, two qualities that can be sorely lacking in someone who is depressed. That is why next week we must now turn to the next crucial step in healing from depression and anxiety—attracting the right support.

Goals/Assignments for Week 1

Congratulations for having begun the journey of healing from depression and anxiety. I know that you may not have a lot of energy right now, so I am going to keep the first week's assignments pretty simple. If you need more time to take these initial steps, that's okay. Recovery is not a contest or a timed test. The important thing is that you get started.

1. Taking all the time that you need, begin work on your vision statement. Try not to be concerned about how it looks or sounds. Come from your heart and honestly set down how you would feel if you where whole and well. Follow the guidelines and recommendations listed in the vision statement exercise. If you need help in completing the task, ask someone close to you to lend some support.

2. In the better mood goal sheet on page 155, write down your goals for this twelve week course. If this seems hard, just try writing one simple change you would like to see.

3. Fill out your weekly goal sheet below. Your goals should describe one or more steps that will move you closer to a long term goal.

4. Congratulate yourself for having made a commitment to your healing! If there is any way you can give yourself a treat or find a small way to nurture yourself, please do so. You deserve a pat on the back for having taken this courageous step.

 

My Goal Sheet for Week 1

This week's starting date __________My coach/buddy______________(not yet assigned)

Date/time we will connect ___________________________________________________

Goal or Goals _____________________________________________________________


_________________________________________________________________________


_________________________________________________________________________

Benefits of attaining this goal _________________________________________________


_________________________________________________________________________


_________________________________________________________________________

Action plan _______________________________________________________________


_________________________________________________________________________


_________________________________________________________________________

Assessing the week

What did I learn from my week that will help me to plan for the next week?

_________________________________________________________________________


_________________________________________________________________________


 

Where Do We Place our Attention: On the Problem or the Solution?

We began this week by learning of the principle of intention. Now I would like to speak to an equally powerful principle—that of attention. This principle states that whatever we put our attention on is what we will create—i.e., attention directs energy. Or, as my therapist puts it, “Where the attention goes the energy flows.”

In approaching a challenge such as depression, we can either put out attention on the problem or place it on the solution. These two perspectives are contrasted below:

Problem Framework

What's wrong?

How long have I had this problem?

“Why” do I have this problem?

How many ways does this problem limit me?

Whose fault is it that I have this problem?

When is the worst time I have experienced this problem?

Outcome framework

What do I want?

When do I want it?

What can I start doing to get myself what I want?

What resources do I have available to help me get what I want?

How can I best utilize the resources that I have?

How will I know when I have what I want?

When I get what I want, what else in my life will improve?

Healing from depression usually begins with diagnosing the condition and focusing on the problem. At some point, however, we must turn our attention to the healing that we seek. This does not mean denying the pain of depression or pretending that it doesn't exist. Yet, we can be with our suffering and simultaneously focus our intention and attention on creating what we want.

Over the next eleven weeks, I will be asking you to follow the outcome framework and “keep your eyes on the prize” through reading your vision statement and setting weekly goals. This ongoing focus on health will eventually attract to you the manifestation of health.

1 Clearly, not all of our wishes are granted. Many people diagnosed with terminal cancer die though they possess a strong will to live. Depression, however, does not have to be terminal. If the individual sets the intention to heal and receives the right type of support, recovery is possible.

2 The book Life, Paint and Passion by Michelle Cachou can help you to access important healing images through painting, especially if you have no drawing experience.