Index

accountability, 102

leaders in creating, 107–108, 111

acknowledging others, 94–95

adrenaline, 40

ambition, 150–151

Angelo, Mark, 9–12

anxiety, 39–40

Arden, Paul, 152

arrogance, 22, 152–153

assumptions, self-defeating, 18

athletes, mental preparation of, 33–46

authenticity, job interviews and, 64–66

“The Authenticity Paradox” (Ibarra), 65

Ballmer, Steve, 141

“Becoming Principle,” 65

Be Excellent at Anything: The Four Keys to Transforming the Way We Work and Live (Schwartz), 3–4

beginners

benefits of being, 28–29

overconfidence among, 50–59

beginner’s bubble, 53–59

blaming others, 20–21, 153

body language, 66–67, 71–83

the box, 76–77

holding the ball, 78

palms down, 82

palms up, 81

pyramid hands, 79

wide stance, 80

box position, the, 76–77. See also body language

Branson, Richard, 141

Bregman, Peter, 105–114

Brooks, Herb, 35

Carmichael, Sarah Green, 33–46

Center for Body Language, 76

Center for Enhanced Performance, 42–43

Chamorro-Premuzic, Tomas, 135–154

character, your voice of, 88–89. See also voice

charisma, 138

charm, 138

clarity, your voice of, 90–91. See also voice

Clinton, Bill, 76

collaboration, 101–102

commitment to purpose, 109, 111

communication

in cultures of confidence, 102

of great leaders, 108

in job interviews, 61–70

leadership voices and, 85–96

nonverbal, 71–83

in presentations, 71–83

competence

false sense of in beginners, 50–59

men in leadership and, 135–145

perception of in women, 130–134

complacency, 22, 100

confidence

barriers to, overcoming, 15–23

beginner’s bubble in, 47–60

building a culture of, 20, 97–103

competence vs., 135–145

definition of, 17

experts on, 3–8

of great leaders, 109–114

how to build, 1–14

presentations and, 71–83

projecting by women, 127–134

success and amount of, 147–154

connection

great leaders and, 108, 110–111

your voice of, 93–95. See also voice

context, your voice of, 89–90. See also voice

conversations. See also communication

about self-doubt, 120–125

job interviews as, 68–70

courage, emotional, 109, 112, 113–114

creativity

as benefit of being a novice, 28–29

cultures supporting, 102

criticism, self, 150–151

crowdsourcing, 29

culture

building confident, 20, 97–103

dealing with failure and, 99–102

curiosity

in job interviews, 68

your voice of, 92–93. See also voice

defensiveness, 21, 101

denial, 101

do-it-yourself-ing, 20

Dunning, David, 47–60

Dweck, Carol, 30

Eagly, Alice, 142–143

Eli Lilly, 29

emotional courage, 109, 112, 113–114

emotional intelligence, 139–140

empowerment, 125

encouragement, 118–120

The Energy Project, 3–4

environment, controlling, 45–46

Facebook, 12–14

failure

in building confidence, 8

dealing with, 99

defensiveness and, 21

“Kanter’s Law” on, 99–100

pathologies of, 100–101

rates of in leaders, 141–142

feedback

getting, 6–7

lower self-confidence and paying attention to, 150–151

trusting, 7

Fey, Tina, 31

Financial Industry Regulatory Authority, 58

Fiske, Susan, 130

Gallo, Amy, 1–14

Gallup, 152

getting out of your own way, 5–6, 9–12

Gladwell, Malcolm, 44

goals

low self-confidence and, 149–150

that aren’t too big or too distant, 18–19

greatest hits, reviewing your, 41–44

Gruenfeld, Deborah H., 4, 5–6, 7, 8

Guillén, Laura, 129

holding the ball position, 78. See also body language

honesty

about your weaknesses, 5–6, 8

in leaders, 108

postures conveying, 80–81

in self-assessment, 4

Hospital for Special Surgery, 9–12

hubris, 138–145, 152

humility

men in leadership and, 139–145

overconfidence vs., 22

Ibarra, Herminia, 65

Ignatius, Adi, 38

impostor syndrome, 25–32

incompetence, why so many men become leaders in spite of, 135–145

initiative, 101, 102

inner critic, 118–119, 121–124

InnoCentive, 29

insecurity, 3, 4. See also self-doubt

interviews, 61–70

job interviews, 61–70

Jobs, Steve, 77, 141, 150

Kanter, Rosabeth Moss, 15–23, 97–103

“Kanter’s Law,” 100

Karelaia, Natalia, 129

knowledge

acknowledging lack of, 5–6

getting, and getting out of your own way, 9–12

impostor syndrome and, 30

incomplete, overconfidence and, 47–60

Lady Gaga, 152

Lakhani, Karim, 29

Law, Vernon, 49

leaders

commitment of to purpose, 109, 111, 112–114

connection to others of, 109, 110–111, 112

emotionally courageous, 109, 112, 113–114

incompetent, promotion of, 135–145

qualities of great, 105–114

self-confidence of, 109, 110, 112–114

women as, 135–145

leadership voices, 85–96

of character, 88–89

of clarity, 90–91

of connection, 93–95

of context, 89–90

of curiosity, 92–93

Leading with Emotional Courage (Bregman), 108

learning

overconfidence from a little, 47–60

probabilistic, 57–58

learning mindset, 30

likability, 11–12

locker-room speeches, 35–36, 37

losing, 99. See also failure

pathologies of, 100–101

Mayo, Margarita, 127–134

McGinn, Daniel, 33–46

mental preparation, 33–46

mentoring, 102

helping employees overcome self-doubt with, 118–120

mindset

for job interviews, 68–69

performance vs. learning, 30

“pregame,” 37–39

modesty, 6. See also humility

Mohr, Tara Sophia, 115–125

Molinsky, Andy, 25–32

motivation, 17

goals that are too big and, 18–19

lower self-confidence and, 151–153

narcissism, 138–145

nonverbal communication, 71–83

novices. See beginners

Obama, Barack, 74–75, 82

The OpEd Project, 6, 13

optimism

acknowledging reality and, 21–22

among beginners, 50–52

Orenstein, Katie, 6

overconfidence, 22, 43

among beginners, 50–56

gender imbalance in leadership and, 136–145

incomplete knowledge and, 47–60

in men vs. women, 129

palms down position, 82. See also body language

palms up position, 81. See also body language

panic, 101

pep talks, 35–36

performance

for job interviews, 61–70

overconfidence of beginners about, 50–56

performance appraisals, 7

performance mindset, 30

persistence, 17–18

personal finance, 57–58

personality traits, 140–143

perspective, 30–31

your voice of curiosity and, 92–93

pessimism, 150–151

Pope, Alexander, 53, 59

Portman, Natalie, 28

practice, 4–5

for job interviews, 61–70

praise, 7

preparation, 4–5

lower self-confidence and, 151–152

rituals in, 38–42

presentations, 71–83

probabilistic learning, 57–58

problem solving, 142–143

purpose, 6

commitment to, 109, 111

Putin, Vladimir, 141

pyramid hands, 79. See also body language

rapport building, 95

reality, acknowledging, 21–22, 30–31

gender differences in, 129

lower self-confidence and, 149–151

resilience, 102

responsibility

blaming others vs., 20–21

cultures encouraging, 101–102

risk taking, 7–8

rituals, 38–42

creating time for, 45–46

Rockne, Knute, 38

Romney, Mitt, 74–75

Saatchi & Saatchi, 152

Salit, Cathy, 61–70

Sanchez, Carmen, 47–60

Sandberg, Sheryl, 18

Schultz, Howard, 28

Schwartz, Tony, 3–5

“The Science of Pep Talks” ( McGinn), 36

self-affirmations, 41–42

self-criticism, 118–119, 121–124

self-defeating assumptions, 18

self-delusion, 152–153

self-doubt

common mistakes in overcoming, 118–120

conversations on, 118–124

helping employees overcome, 115–125

success and, 147–154

setbacks, anticipating, 21–22. See also failure

skills

acknowledging lack of, 5–6

practice and, 4–5

social contagion, 44–45

Starbucks, 28

storytelling

connecting through, 94

in job interviews, 69–70

stress, growing from, 8

stretch assignments, 117

Su, Amy Jen, 85–96

success, confidence levels and, 147–154

superstitions, 40–41. See also rituals

support systems, 20, 101. See also culture

teamwork, 101–102

thanking others, 94–95

time management, rituals and, 45–46

transformational leadership, 142–143

Trump, Donald, 152

trust

connecting to others and, 110–111

honest feedback and, 7

in leaders, 108, 110–111

postures inspiring, 76–77


U.S. Military Academy at West Point, 42–43

validation, 7

value, knowing your own, 6, 12–14

Vantage Hill Partners, 31

victory, declaring too soon, 19

voice, 85–96

of character, 88–89

of clarity, 90–91

of connection, 93–95

of context, 89–90

of curiosity, 92–93

of the inner critic, 118–119, 121–124

warm, being seen as, 127–134

West Point. See U.S. Military Academy at West Point

Wezowski, Kasia, 71–83

“Where Anonymity Breeds Contempt” (Zhuo), 13–14

White House Project, 7

wide stance, 80. See also body language

Winfrey, Oprah, 81

women

being seen as warm and confident, 127–134

desire of for validation, 7

incompetent male leaders and, 135–145

leadership strategies of, 142–143

perception of competence in, 130–134

self-defeating assumptions by, 18

Woods, Tiger, 44–45

Zhuo, Julie, 12–14