Chapter 6
The
LEADER
Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.
—Dwight D. Eisenhower
THROUGHOUT HISTORY, the right leader has often appeared at exactly the right time. Washington during the Revolution. Lincoln during the Civil War. Churchill during the Big One. We recall these great leaders as though they were destined to rise to the occasion. But look closely at their careers, and you’ll see they developed their leadership skills with great discipline and dedication.
Long before he became the masterful general and statesman we now know, Washington suffered devastating setbacks in battle at the beginning of the War of Independence. Lincoln failed in business and in several political campaigns before he became the Great Emancipator. And as the First Lord of the Admiralty during World War I, Churchill made a disastrous strategic decision that resulted in his being dismissed and excluded from the War Council. Twenty-five years later, he led Great Britain in their “finest hour.”
LEADERS AREN’T BORN. THEY’RE MADE—OFTEN IN THE FURNACE OF SETBACKS.
We may not be called upon to lead men into battle or a guide a country through its darkest time, but the attributes of the finest leaders in history are the same ones we must cultivate to lead our families, businesses, and communities to higher ground.
THE FIVE TRAITS OF LEADERSHIP
Shortly after World War II, the US military published a booklet outlining five key leadership traits every soldier should develop. These traits are just as applicable to civilians who strive to be better leaders in their everyday lives. Taken together, they can help define, create, and support leaders in all positions.
1: EXEMPLIFY quiet resolution by sticking to your values, committing to your decisions, and standing strong throughout crises when they develop.
2: BE willing to take risks when necessary.
3: REWARD subordinates when their efforts have helped your team succeed.
4: TAKE your equal share of blame when things go wrong.
5: DO not dwell on past successes or failures. Rather, focus on future goals.
THE EISENHOWER DECISION MATRIX
A leader makes decisions. But with a flood of tasks coming your way, you can spend more time managing crises and putting out fires than making meaningful progress. If you find yourself constantly treading water, you have likely confused urgency with importance.
DWIGHT D. Eisenhower knew a lot about making tough decisions. As the Supreme Commander of the largest amphibious military invasion in human history and later as President of the United States, Eisenhower had to make a lot of them. He was able to remain effective by reminding himself of this principle: “What is important is seldom urgent and what is urgent is seldom important.”
EFFECTIVE LEADERS spend more time on the important tasks and less time on the urgent ones. The hard part is figuring out which is which. To give you a jump start, we present the Eisenhower Decision Matrix. Spend as much time as possible in Quadrant 2, and you’ll be the Supreme Commander of your day.
“What is important is seldom urgent and what is urgent is seldom important.”
—Dwight D. Eisenhower
THE OODA LOOP
John Boyd is perhaps the greatest unknown military strategist in history. His most significant contribution is an incredible strategic tool: the OODA Loop—Observe, Orient, Decide, Act. It models the process that human beings and organizations use to learn, grow, and thrive in rapidly changing environments—in war, business, and life.
THE OODA Loop is sometimes misdescribed as a four-step process where the one who makes it through all the stages the quickest wins. There’s more to it than that. For the full range of nuance, pick up Science, Strategy and War by Frans P. B. Osinga.
THE OODA Loop is based on the belief that we are hindered by an inability to rapidly make sense of a changing reality. When circumstances change, we fail to revise our mental models and struggle to see the world as we feel it should be, rather than how it really is.
This is the loop’s most basic version:
1: BOYD himself used this diagram when explaining the Loop, but his full vision was grander:
2: THE full Loop can look like gobbledygook to the uninitiated. But once you understand the thinking behind this diagram, you’ll realize how profound it is.
OBSERVE 
TAKING IN new information about our environment is crucial in revising the mental models we use to make decisions. But we often observe imperfect or incomplete information, and we can be inundated with so much of it that we can’t separate the signal from the noise. We address this uncertainty by developing our judgment—by orienting ourselves.
ORIENT 
OUR ORIENTATION shapes how we observe, decide, and act. To orient yourself in a changing environment, you must constantly break apart old mental models and reassemble them to better match reality. This is a continual process: As soon as you create a new mental concept, it becomes outdated as the environment around you changes. Boyd offered this advice on orientation:
Build a robust toolbox of mental models.
BOYD LAYS out seven disciplines you ought to know: Mathematical Logic, Physics, Thermodynamics, Biology, Psychology, Anthropology, and Conflict (Game Theory). To thrive in your job, you also need mental models specific to your career. To survive a lethal encounter, you’ll need models unique to tactical situations. Learn as many models as you can.
WHEN YOU’RE faced with a new problem, go through the domains above and ask, “Are there elements from these different mental concepts that can provide insight into my problem?”
Never stop orienting.
BECAUSE THE world around you is constantly changing, orientation is something you can never stop doing. “Always Be Orienting” should become your mantra. Make it a goal to add to your mental toolbox every day.
Try to validate mental models before operation.
STUDY WHAT mental concepts have and haven’t worked in similar situations and then practice, train, and visualize using those mental concepts.
DECIDE (HYPOTHESIS)
IT’S IMPOSSIBLE to select a perfect mental model because of the uncertainty inherent in a changing world. Consequently, when we pair a mental model with the information we have, we’re forced to settle for ones that we guess are good enough. To find out if our hypothesis is correct, we then have to test it.
ACT (TEST)
THE OODA Loop is not only a decision process, but a learning system. By constantly “experimenting” we improve how we operate in every facet of our lives. Action is how we find out if our mental models are correct. If they are, we win the battle; if they aren’t, then we start the OODA Loop again using newly observed data.
TEMPO
To the Swift Goes the Race
THE OODA Loop can guide our individual actions and doesn’t require an “opponent” per se in order to be useful. But in situations of conflict or competition, where it’s your OODA Loop going head-to-head against someone else’s, tempo is important.
THOSE WHO cycle through successful, consecutive OODA Loops faster than their opponents will win in a conflict. Rapid OODA Looping on your part “resets” your opponent’s OODA Loop by causing confusion—it sends them back to the observation phase to figure out how to proceed. The key to speed is practice.
DEVELOP CHARISMA
Charisma is what allows you to command a room, draws others to you, and convinces people of your success. It’s an essential part of being a leader. Charismatic men are perceived as both likable and powerful: a dynamic, irresistible combination that can open endless doors.
Far from a magical or inexplicable trait, charisma comes from a set of concrete, largely nonverbal behaviors that can be learned. Olivia Fox Cabane, author of The Charisma Myth, places the behaviors that produce strong personal magnetism into three categories: Presence, Power, and Warmth.
PRESENCE
1: THE paradox of charisma is that it’s not about trumpeting your good qualities, but making the other person feel good about him- or herself. Real charisma makes the other person feel important—that you were actually present with them.
2: BRING yourself to the here and now. If your mind is somewhere else, focus for a second or two on physical sensations that you often ignore: your breath or your feet touching the ground.
3: LOOK the person in the eye when they’re talking. Eye contact imparts a sense of intimacy to your exchanges, and leaves the receiver of your gaze feeling more connected to you.
4: ASK clarifying questions. Show that you’re completely there by asking questions after he or she has spoken. Paraphrase what the person said and add, “Am I understanding you correctly?”
5: WAIT before responding. Breaking in the instant a person pauses sends the signal that you were only thinking about what you wanted to say instead of listening to them. Waiting two seconds before you respond will convey that you’ve taken in what they said.
POWER
1: OFFERING a first impression of power mainly comes down to enhancing the things humans are wired to register: body language and appearance.
2: BECOME physically fit. A fit, muscular physique sends a signal to the most primal parts of other people’s brains about your strength and ability to dominate and protect.
3: DRESS for power. Instead of a t-shirt, don a nice button-down shirt, a pair of khakis, and some leather dress boots. Slip on a sport coat or blazer to create a more masculine silhouette.
4: TAKE up space. Look for ways to subtly increase the amount of space you take up when seated, and assume power poses (like with your arms akimbo, hands resting on the waist) when standing.
5: SPEAK less and more slowly. Powerful people take up space in conversation—but don’t hog the speaking time. They speak less and aren’t afraid of “awkward” silence. People often nervously try to fill silent gaps, which is why interrogators and negotiators resort to the silent treatment.
6: KNOW a little about a lot. Intelligence is a key marker of a man who is able to affect the world around him. Read every chance you get. Seek to know as much about as many subjects as possible in addition to one area of expertise.
WARMTH
1: WHEN you emanate Warmth people feel at ease. Warmth fulfills the basic human need to be understood, acknowledged, and cared for. Of all the elements of charisma, warmth is the hardest to fake. People are pretty good at sniffing out fake warmth, and tend to recoil when they’re offered the counterfeit variety. The behaviors that communicate warmth to others arise from that most powerful but ineffable quality: a genuinely good heart. You can develop your inner warmth by practicing gratitude empathy on a daily basis, and it’s well worth the effort.
2: THINK of yourself as the host. When you have people over to your house, you look for ways to make them feel comfortable. Bring this same mentality to all your interactions.
3: SMILE when you speak. This puts more warmth in your voice, and is especially useful when talking on the phone.
4: MIRROR their body language. When you mirror a person’s body language and manner of speaking, they’ll trust you and find you more attractive. Don’t match your conversation partner tic for tic, but if they speak softly, bring your own voice down a notch; if they lean back in their chair, lean back just a bit, too. Let a few seconds lapse before you move into a mirrored position.
5: RELAX your posture and open up. While an erect posture creates the perception of power and confidence, it can sometimes make you seem stiff or haughty. Instead of crossing your arms, keep them by your side; instead of crossing your legs, leave them open. Remove barriers between you and the other person.
6: SMILE, dammit! It makes you more attractive and approachable.
7: REMEMBER dates, anniversaries, and details. It’s amazing how far remembering someone’s birthday will go with people. Send a card or an email—take the chance not only to wish them happy birthday but to say hello and ask how they are.
8: BE liberal with the thank you notes. They tell people you noticed and took the time to acknowledge them. It’s warmth in an envelope.
Charismatic men are perceived as both likable and powerful: a dynamic, irresistible combination that can open endless doors.
ACHIEVE MANLY POSTURE
When we sit or stand with good posture we improve our breathing, memory, and learning ability. It delivers confidence and a powerful presence. Good posture can even make you feel manly by boosting your testosterone.
GOOD POSTURE should not feel rigid or take a lot of work. With good posture, your bones, not your muscles, keep your body upright and balanced. Your overall goal is to have a “neutral spine” that retains three natural curves: a small hollow at the neck’s base, a small roundness at the middle back, and a small hollow in the lower back.
STANDING
IMAGINE A plumb line running from your earlobe. With correct posture, the line hangs straight to the middle of your anklebone, with your shoulders, hips, and knees in a straight line. If you have a hard time making your body fit that mental picture, do this wall exercise:
STAND WITH head, shoulders, and back against a wall and your heels 5–6 inches forward. Draw in the lower abdominal muscles, decreasing the arch in your lower back. This is what good posture feels like. Now push away from the wall and maintain this upright, vertical alignment.
SITTING
IT’S HARDER to maintain good posture while sitting than standing, so the first thing you can do is start sitting less. Take a break every thirty to forty-five minutes to get up and move. Consider using a standing desk in moderation, alternating between sitting and standing throughout the day.
WHEN YOU do sit, keep your ears and shoulders lined up but relaxed, and make sure your feet rest flat on the floor, with your knees and hips bent 90 degrees. Your elbows should also bend at 90 degrees while typing. If your knees, hips, and elbows aren’t bent correctly, adjust your chair until they are.
AVOID THE SMARTPHONE SLUMP
WHEN YOU have good posture, your head lines up on top of your spinal column. The force you exert to keep your head in this neutral position is equal to the weight of your head—about eleven pounds. But as you move your head forward, the force needed to keep your head up increases. When you tilt your head forward 45 degrees, it’s exerting almost fifty pounds of force on your neck.
SMARTPHONE SLUMP wreaks havoc on your muscles and may even factor into the rise of depression in the West. (A slouched, submissive position can lead to low mood.) But fixing Smartphone Slump is easy: Don’t look down at your phone. Instead, bring your phone up to eye level. Yes, you’ll look like you’re constantly taking selfies, but it will keep that big ol’ bowling ball of a head balanced on top of your spine—and relieve the muscles in your back, shoulders, and neck.
A slouched posture can lead to low mood.
DE-QUASIMODO YOURSELF
Poor sitting posture can cause jaw aches and headaches, and in the long term it can result in kyphosis, or a permanently visible hump on your upper back. Kyphosis isn’t just an aesthetic problem—it can cause pain and breathing difficulties. Here are six exercises to counteract the ill effects of slouching. Consider it your de-Quasimodo routine.
Doorway Stretch
1: STAND inside a doorway (or next to a squat rack at the gym). Bend your right arm 90 degrees (like you’re giving a high five) and place your forearm against the door frame. Position your bent elbow at about shoulder height. Rotate your chest left until you feel a nice stretch in your chest and front shoulder. Hold it for thirty seconds. Repeat with the opposite arm.
2: STRETCH different parts of your chest by moving your elbow on the door frame. The lower your elbow, the more your pectoralis major gets stretched; the higher your elbow, the more you stretch your pectoralis minor.
Pectoral Ball Smash
1: LOOSEN up tight muscles in your chest by doing some trigger point release with a lacrosse ball.
2: PLACE the ball between your chest and the wall. Roll the ball around on your chest until you find a “hot spot”—you know you’ve found one if it hurts when the ball rolls over it. When you find a trigger point, stop and just rest on the ball for ten to twenty seconds. It’s this pressure, not the rolling, that smoothes fascia and releases tight, knotty muscles. Continue rolling and finding more trigger spots. Do a five-minute session three times a week.
Shoulder Dislocations
1: DON’T worry, you don’t actually dislocate your shoulders with this exercise! But this movement does wonders for loosening up shoulders that have become tight from years of turning inward while slouching.
2: YOU’LL need a PVC pipe or broomstick that’s about five feet in length. Hold the PVC pipe in front of you with an overhand grip. If your shoulders are really inflexible, start off with a pretty wide grip—as wide as possible. As your flexibility increases, narrow your grip.
3: SLOWLY lift the PVC pipe in front of you, then over your head, until it hits you in the back/butt area. Then come back to the starting position. Again, do this SLOWLY. If you do it too fast, you’re likely to injure yourself. Do three sets of 10 reps.
Thoracic Extension on Foam Roller
1: PLACE the foam roller under your upper back. Your feet and butt should be on the floor. Place your hands behind your head and bring your elbows as close together as you can. Let your head drop to the floor, and try to “wrap” yourself around the foam roller. Begin to roll the foam roller up and down your back, searching for “hot spots.” When you find one, lift your head up and really dig your back into the foam roller. Lay your head back down and continue searching for more hot spots along your thoracic spine (the middle of your back).
1: LIE facedown on the floor and put your hands above your head in a “Y” position with your palms facing down. Lift up your torso, just as you would with a back extension, while externally rotating your shoulders so that your palms face each other at the top of the movement. Keep your head in line with your neck and back. Hold that position for five to ten seconds. Lower yourself down to the starting position and repeat ten more times.
Wall Angels
1: IT may not look like it, but this exercise will have you grunting in pain after a few reps.
2: START with knees slightly bent, and your lower back, upper back, and head pressed against the wall. Arms are also on the wall, with your fingers pushed against it. Think of giving the “It’s good!” football sign.
3: MOVE your arms up above your head, like a snow angel. The key is to keep your fingers, entire back and butt, and head pushing into the wall. The tendency will be to arch out. If your backside loses contact with the wall, you’re doing it wrong.
BECOME A T-SHAPED MAN
You’ve probably desired a V-shaped physical body, but there’s an ideal shape for your mental “physique” too: the T. A T-shaped man has expertise in one skill or discipline, as well as a broader range of skills and knowledge. He is a jack-of-all-trades, and a master of one.
Many of history’s most eminent men were T-shaped. Think of Leonardo da Vinci: a master artist who also studied and dabbled in anatomy, mechanics, architecture, and botany. Instead of diluting his artistic ability, his broad interests made him a better artist. His study of human anatomy enabled him to paint and sculpt the most lifelike depictions of the human form up to that point in history. His interest in mechanics led him to sketch concepts that were hundreds of years ahead of their time, like tanks, helicopters, and airplanes. Follow his example by gaining mastery in one domain while dabbling in several others.
UNDO THE DAMAGE OF SITTING
Besides causing a Quasimodo hunch, sitting for long periods of time can cause lots of tightness in your hips. But loose hips are an essential part of a healthy and robust body. First, having limber hips just feels good, plain and simple. Second, having a healthy range of motion in your hips can help prevent injury when you pursue more recreational physical activities and do household chores. For example, loose hips keep your IT band loose as well, which can ward off knee pain. Finally, taking care of your hips may help improve your posture, which can in turn alleviate back or neck pain. (Not to mention the role of limber hips in doing a mean mambo.)
Below, we provide some simple stretches and exercises that will undo the damage to your hips caused by sitting at a desk all day.
PREVENTION IS THE BEST REMEDY: SIT LESS AND MOVE MORE
AS THE saying goes, “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” The best thing you can do for your hip mobility is to simply sit less and move more during the day.
IF YOUR employer will allow it, try using a standing desk, which keeps your muscles activated at the office. Keep in mind that, just as with sitting, standing should be done in moderation (doing it for an extended period of time isn’t that great for you, either). If a standing desk isn’t an option, take five-minute breaks from sitting every thirty to forty-five minutes. Stand up and walk around a bit. Maybe even perform a few of the exercises below. Even if you have a standing desk, you should still take breaks every now and then for some movement.
STRETCH OUT THOSE HIPS
IF YOU’RE really tight, take it nice and easy with these exercises. As physical therapist Kelly Starrett says, “Don’t go into the pain cave. Your animal totem won’t be there to help you.”
Leg Swings
Front-Back
Side-Side
1: BEGIN with forward leg swings. Find something to hold for balance. Start off swinging your right leg backward and forward as high and as far back as you comfortably can. Do 20 swings and then switch legs.
2: NEXT are side-to-side swings. Again, find something to hold for balance. Swing your right leg out to the side as high as possible and then in front of you toward your left as far as you can go. Perform 20 swings and then switch legs. Depending on how tight you feel, you may need another set.
Grok Squat
THE GROK Squat is similar to a catcher’s stance in baseball. Simply squat down until your butt touches your ankles. Keep your heels firmly on the ground and your back straight. Hold that position for thirty to sixty seconds. You should feel your hamstrings, quads, Achilles tendons, lower back, and groin gently stretching. If you’re super stiff, it may take a few days of practice to sink into a full squat. Keep at it. Your back and hips will thank you. Intersperse a few short squatting sessions into your daily routine.
Harder
Easier
IF YOU’VE done yoga, you’re probably familiar with the pigeon pose. This stretch is the same thing, except you use a table, which makes it a bit easier to perform and allows you to stretch out your muscles from different angles. Start by placing your leg on a tabletop (you could also use your bed) with the knee bent at 90 degrees. Place one hand on the table and one hand on your foot for support. Lean forward and hold for sixty to ninety seconds. Then lean left to the ten o’clock position and hold for sixty to ninety seconds. Lean right to the two o’clock position and hold for sixty to ninety seconds. Repeat on the other leg.
IF YOU have knee problems, rotate your body so that your ankle hangs off the table and place a pillow underneath your knee. Aim to do two pigeon poses a day (I personally do one during my workout and another at a random time).
Couch Stretch
Easier
Harder
THE COUCH stretch is basically a quad stretch ratcheted up a few notches. It will undo years of sitting. You actually don’t need a couch for this stretch, it just makes it a bit more comfortable (if that’s even possible). You can also do it on the floor by putting your knee against a wall.
FOR THE “easy” version, place the knee of the leg you’re stretching against the back of your sofa. Place the foot of your other leg on the floor. Slowly raise your torso to a neutral spine position (i.e., standing straight and tall). As you raise your torso, squeeze your butt and abs. Hold the position for up to four minutes. Switch and repeat on the other leg. You should feel things really stretch in your hip flexor area—just don’t push yourself too hard.
TO UP the ante, bring your non-stretching leg up onto the seat of the couch. Keeping a straight, neutral spine, squeeze the butt and abs and work your way up to holding the position for four minutes. Keep in mind that it may be awhile before you can get your torso to a straight position. When I first started doing this stretch the “hard way,” I could only raise my torso to a 45-degree angle and I’d have to support myself with my hand on the floor. I was eventually able to move to a straight position after two weeks of dedicated stretching. The difference in the mobility of my hips was (and continues to be) significant.
ENTER AND EXIT A ROOM LIKE A MAN
When you meet someone for the first time, put your best foot forward. That starts with how you enter a room—and how you leave. Make a good impression and you’ll kick-start a positive relationship.
ENTRY
1: HAVE a firm sense of purpose as you step through the door. Don’t enter until you’re ready.
2: ENTER with a smile and good posture. Straighten your back and raise your head so that you’re looking across the room, not at the floor.
3: GREET people warmly, gesticulating as you speak with articulation.
EXIT
1: DECIDE when it’s appropriate to leave. For a stop-in party, wait at least an hour to leave. For dinner, wait until after dessert or coffee is served.
2: STAND up, shake hands with the host, gather your things, say “thank you,” and offer your good-byes.
3: COMMIT to leaving as you walk to the door and make your exit. Don’t get caught talking to someone on your way out, it only invalidates your need to leave.
END A CONVERSATION
We’ve all ended up in conversations that have gone on too long. But leaving a conversation abruptly can leave the other person feeling rejected, unless you do it with grace. And you can! Stop that unfortunate chitchat in its tracks by making sure you have a clear reason to leave the conversation in mind, waiting for a lull to make your move, and then executing your break with purpose.
1: WAIT for a lull in the conversation, like a long pause between sentences or when the other person takes a drink. That’s your time to act.
2: USE an exit line. Tell the person you have to ask someone a question, get a drink, or check on something.
3: INTRODUCE the person to someone else at the party, or ask to be introduced to someone the person knows.
4: INVITE the person to do something with you. The change of scenery may prompt the conversation to end.
5: LET them know it was nice to speak with them, shake their hand, and exit with purpose. If you used an exit line, make sure to follow through with the excuse you used.
DRESS FOR A JOB INTERVIEW
You want to put your best foot forward during a job interview, and your appearance is a big part of that. You want to look presentable, well-groomed, and dressed appropriately for the type of job you’re applying for. A good general rule to follow is to dress one notch up from that workplace’s dress code. If you’re applying to a restaurant where the waiters wear jeans and t-shirts, wear khakis and a polo shirt to the interview. If you’re applying to a place where people wear khakis and polos, then wear a button-down shirt and khakis to the interview. If everyone wears khakis and button-down shirts, then do likewise, but add a sport coat and tie. You get the idea.
THINGS EVERY MAN SHOULD HAVE IN HIS DESK
An office desk is your home away from home. It keeps you organized and comfortable, whether you’re a graphic designer in a skyscraper or a middle school teacher in a rural Midwest town. Stock it with essential items and a few emergency supplies.
1: CLOTHES—A spare suit jacket for impromptu but important meetings, a sweater to manage aggressive A/C, and a spare shirt and pants in the event of a spill.
2: TOILETRIES—Deodorant, a toothbrush and toothpaste, floss, and cologne.
3: LINT ROLLER
4: Breath MINTS
5: HAND SANITIZER
6: SNACKS—Something healthy with a long shelf life, like almonds.
7: FRAMED PICTURES—Of family and friends.
8: CASH—$20 in bills and coins should do it.
9: NOVEL—To read over lunch and to rest your eyes from heavy screen usage for five to ten minutes every hour.
10: HEADPHONES—A godsend for your productivity, especially in cubicle farms.
11: WATER BOTTLE—Stay hydrated and eliminate waste.
12: Phone CHARGER
13: UMBRELLA
14: NOTEBOOK AND PEN
RUN A MEETING
From intense corporate gatherings at the top of gleaming skyscrapers to the team get-togethers at mom and pop restaurants, work meetings are an essential part of getting key staff members to talk about issues important to the business. As important as they can be, though, too many meetings are a waste of time. Distracted participants, tangential topics, and a lack of focus can result in a lack of productivity and few concrete benefits. When you’re in charge of a meeting, rise to the challenge with specific ideas and an action plan to get things done.
1: Type up an agenda for the meeting with a specific list of what items will be discussed and in what order.
2: MAKE sure key people will be in attendance, and resolve any pet issues one on one before the meeting.
3: BRING bagels or donuts, set up the chairs in a U-shape, and start on time.
4: BEGIN with what was accomplished since the last meeting.
5: GET to the heart of the meeting, come up with tangible solutions to problems, and control the discussion to stay on track.
6: Summarize the meeting, end on time, and follow-up to make sure things get done.
MAKE A PITCH
Whether you’re a writer trying to sell your book idea to a publisher, a sous chef trying to convince your boss to put your dish on the menu, or a husband who wants to move his family to Florida so he can pursue his dream of becoming an astronaut, a pitch is the way to convince someone that they need to act on your idea.
1: SCHEDULE a meeting for earlier in the day, when people have more energy.
2: HAVE a partner help you make the pitch, establishing each person’s role before you do it.
3: DELIVER the pitch with a casual tone, avoiding PowerPoints, and starting a conversation that finds common ground with the buyer.
4: BEGIN with the most important details that get to the core of your idea, emphasizing why your idea is so great, and tie in reasons why your buyer is perfectly suited for your idea.
5: ANTICIPATE concerns and have answers prepared for their possible questions in advance.
6: CLOSE with a clear request, ask how you can resolve their issues if they say “no,” and always follow-up after the meeting with a phone call and a note, regardless of their answer.
BASICS OF OFFICE ETIQUETTE
The modern office environment is a world away from what it was a few decades ago. Collaborative work spaces, dog-friendly offices, and recreation rooms with everything from ping pong tables to bean bags have replaced the formal workspaces where we used to clock in and out. But, even with a more casual trend in the working world, there are still rules for behaving in a way that respects your coworkers and the environment where you and your officemates take care of business.
DO
1: DRESS with respect and maintain a high level of hygiene.
2: HOLD the door for people trying to get on the elevator.
3: BRING snacks or treats to share with coworkers every once in a while.
DON’T
1: COME late to meetings.
2: EAT other people’s food out of communal kitchens.
3: LISTEN to music or videos without headphones.
GIVE A MANLY HANDSHAKE
Whether greeting someone for the first or the hundredth time, a good handshake conveys confidence, strength, warmth, honesty, and a host of other character traits. A confident, successful handshake boils down to three keys: how, when, and where you do it.
HOW
1: MAKE sure your handshake is firm. Don’t offer a limp fish grip, and don’t crush the other person’s hand with a death grip.
2: GO for the “web touch.” You want the webbing between your thumb and index finger to meet the same spot on the other person’s hand.
3: MAKE sure you don’t have food or grease on your hands. The person you’re meeting should remember you, not what you ate. Give sweaty hands a nonchalant wipe on your pants.
4: LOOK the person in the eye and smile.
WHEN
1: A good handshake requires good timing. At a party or social event, make sure to shake the host’s hand when arriving and leaving. Shake hands with anyone you’re meeting for the first time, as well as friends, family, and acquaintances with whom hugging doesn’t seem appropriate.
2: SOME people avoid offering handshakes because they’re afraid of being left hanging. If you’re not sure if someone will notice your offer, extend your hand anyway. If you are left hanging, don’t feel embarrassed. The problem isn’t that the other person doesn’t think you’re important, but simply that your timing was off.
• Don’t offer a handshake if the other person is engrossed in conversation with someone else.
• Don’t approach someone from the side with your extended hand. It’s hard to see.
• Audibly greet the person to get their attention and then offer your hand.
• Be aware of varying social norms. Most cultures have customs for when and if to shake hands.
WHERE
HANDSHAKES ARE good everywhere! Shake plenty of hands when you go to any social gathering, religious function (being sensitive to varying customs), family reunion, wedding, etc. Be liberal with your handshakes, and you’ll perfect the art in no time.