10 percent rule: An oft-cited injury-prevention tenet stating you shouldn’t increase your weekly mileage or intensity by more than 10 percent. So if you’re currently running 20 miles, don’t bump up to any more than 22 miles next week. Or if you’ve run 20 miles this week, but haven’t done any speedwork or tempo runs, do no more than 2 miles next week at a pumped-up pace—and keep your total mileage at 20.
400: Once around a regulation track, measured in meters.
800: Twice around a regulation track, measured in meters.
1,000: Two and a half times around a regulation track, measured in meters.
1,200: Three times around a regulation track, measured in meters.
1,600: One mile, or four times, on a regulation track. Measured in—say it with us—meters. (It’s a little short of 1 mile, but we’re not arguing with the standard.)
A
AMR: Another mother runner.
Athena: A supposedly flattering term for larger female athletes, usually those who weigh more than 150 pounds. Bigger races—and many triathlons—have an Athena (or “Filly”) division, so us heavier gals don’t have to compete against the wisps whose legs are roughly the circumference of our forearms. The male version of the Athena is a Clydesdale, which makes Athena seem not so bad, right?
B
BAMR: Badass mother runner.
Bandit: An unregistered runner in a race who didn’t pay the entry fee. We know it’s tempting, but we can’t condone being one of these bad guys.
Barnacle buster: Any thing/person/activity used to distract, deter, and detach one’s children from one’s legs, thus freeing a mother for a run.
BBTN: Barely better than nothing—a description of just-got-out-there run.
Bonk: A condition marked by a massive decrease in pace, motivation, and control over one’s legs and caused by depletion of energy, or glycogen, stores in the muscles. Usually occurs around mile 20 of a marathon, but can pop up in most any race or long run. Consuming calories, such as a gel or a sports drink, can help you bounce back somewhat, but you’ll still suffer for the remainder of your miles. Avoid bonking by racing a smart race—see even split or negative split—and eating along the way. Synonym: hitting the wall.
BQ: What some runners pursue as fervently as 10-year-olds beg to get a cell phone. It’s a speedy marathon time that qualifies a runner to gain entry to the famed Boston Marathon. Times are based on age and gender. For example, a woman aged 35 to 39 needs to run 3:40:00 or faster to BQ.
BRF: Best running friend.
Bublé effect: When a song sneaks its way into your iPod and puts you to sleep/mellows out your run faster than a Michael Bublé song.
C
Cadence: The number of times your feet strike the ground during 1 minute of running. Most running experts recommend aiming for about 180 steps per minute—or having each foot hit the ground 90 times. (If you’re over 5 feet 10 inches, you can lower your count to about 174.) To figure out your cadence, you can geek out like Dimity does and use a metronome, or you can count the number of times your right foot hits the ground in 20 seconds and multiply by 3. Most people have too low of a cadence; to increase yours, think about shortening your stride to an almost alarming degree.
Caffeine jolt: Temporary acceleration produced when you see a runner—usually a cute, younger, faster man—you want to impress.
Carbo-load: The best part of marathon training. During the final few days of your taper, when your miles are minimal, you up the carbohydrates—rice, pasta, bread, simple fruits and veggies like bananas and corn—in your diet to as much as 90 percent of what you consume. Doing so fills up and tops out the glycogen (or fuel) stores in your muscles, so that your quads’ needle is on “F” when you hit the starting line.
Character builders: Hill workouts, any speedwork over 400 meters, or runs in extreme heat/cold.
Chip timed: What all but the most homegrown of races are these days. With an electronic sensor (aka a “chip”) affixed to your ankle, shoelaces, or the back of your race bib, your race time is automagically recorded. (And sometimes even transmitted to the race website in real-time stats, as happens in some bigger marathons.) The chip eliminates the need when you cross the finish line to immediately press the stop button on your Garmin or watch, which, it should be noted, ruins your finisher’s photo.
Chunk change: The extra poundage you carry around in your own personal trunk.
Church: Virtual place/real route many BAMR’ers go on Sunday morning, the only time they can fit in a long run.
Coin slot: Body part that shows when low-cut running shorts are too overloaded with GU, keys, and music player.
Cooldown: The thing you’re so sorely tempted to skip at the end of a workout, especially after a tough one like a tempo run or track session. Resist the urge: It helps your heart rate and breathing return closer to normal, and clears the (painful) lactic acid out of your legs.
Creepers: Shorts that don’t stay in place.
Crop dusting: Passing gas on the run.
Crotch rot: Dripping-wet running tights.
Cutdown: A run during which you progressively get faster—or cut down—your pace. Depending on the length of the run, the miles could be faster by as little as 10 seconds or as much as 45 seconds. Helps with learning pacing, as in, “Oh, this is what a 9:30-minute mile feels like.”
Cycling Casanovas: Guys biking on the trails with waaaaaay too much cologne on. (Or who are waaaaaay too into themselves and their overlogoed jerseys.)
D
Dehydration station: Water stop.
DFL: Dead, um, Freakin’ Last. You may be last in a race, as a runner, but you’re a winner in the race of life. Cheesy, but very true.
Dip dye: Phenomenon that occurs when your sweat-soaked shirt starts to visibly dampen your shorts/tights/skirt from the waist, slowly working its way down.
DNF: Did Not Finish. Yes, it’s not the greatest thing to see next to your name in the race results, but consider the alternative: DNS. As in Did Not Start.
Dory run: Tough run, where just getting through it is a victory. Stems from the movie Finding Nemo, in which Dory says, “Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.”
Double flush: Sign of an effective colon evacuation.
Dreadmill: Affectionate term for the treadmill.
Dropping the kids off at the pool: Pre-run evac in the bathroom. Might be followed by a double flush.
Dynamic stretching: Stretches that involve swinging your arms and legs in a controlled manner to gently increase your range of motion and get your juices flowing. Usually done pre-run for a simple warm-up.
E
Empty the tank: To cross the finish line having expended all energy your body has to offer. It’s the aim of SBS in almost every race, and something Dimity isn’t really interested in doing in this lifetime.
Endorphins: Feel-good amino acids, produced when you exercise, that are responsible for the elusive “runner’s high.”
Entourage: Young passengers in a single, double, or—you’re our hero—triple running stroller. Synonym: portable cheering section.
Even split: Running at a pace so that each mile, give or take a few seconds, takes about as long as the previous one. A good race strategy for a beginner or somebody taking on a distance for the first time.
F
Fancy pants: Capris or tights with reflective stripes. (Or any favorite bottoms you reserve for race day.)
Fartlek: Smirk-inducing Swedish word meaning a short burst of speed that gets thrown into a random run for “fun.” You can fartlek from one telephone pole to another, or up to a tree in the distance, or past a park bench. Then you ease back on the pace, and, given that it was such a riot, do it a couple more times. Because SBS encourages her kids to say “pass gas” instead of that “f” word—or, worse, “toot”— we generally opted to call them “intervals” in this book.
Finishing kick: The last part of a race, when you turn up your pace as much as possible until you cross the finish line. When you start your kick is up to you: Dimity prefers to kick it in with less than .2 mile to go of any race; SBS tries to do it for at least the last half mile, if not a little more.
FIRM: Friends in Running + Motherhood. (See also AMR.)
Full moon rising: condition when shorts or skirt head south during a run.
G
Galloway: An outing during which you run and walk at specific increments, like run for 6 minutes, walk for 1, repeat until run is done. Named after Jeff Galloway, father of the run/walk method.
Glucose: What glycogen is called when it’s stored in the bloodstream; the amount in the blood is fairly low, compared with your muscle stores.
Glycogen: The fuel, stored in your muscles and liver and created by converting carbs, that your body uses to run.
Go Fasters: Running shoes.
Googly eyes: When nipples, which are a little past their prime, aren’t “looking forward” anymore.
GU-doo: Product of intestinal distress brought about by consuming GU. Or the act of depositing the product of intestinal distress in a Porta-Potty.
H
Heel damage: Calluses that never clear up.
HFH: Holy Frackin’ Hill. How runners/tweeters, especially in western Pennsylvania, describe their runs. (Example: I did 5 #HFHs on lunchtime run. #legsaretoast)
Hill repeats: Repetitions of, um, hills. Seriously, though, these are a highly effective way to build leg strength and speed without hitting the track. Involves tackling numerous (four to 10-plus) hills of various degrees of steepness. Charge up; trot back down; charge up; trot back down . . . you get the picture.
Hitting the wall: See bonk.
HR: Heart rate. It’s what gets elevated when you run (or think about Ryan Reynolds). Often used as HRM, for heart rate monitor.
Hungry butt: When underwear rides up your crack while running.
Hungry thighs: When your shorts bulge up between your legs.
I
Involuntary speedwork: Increased pace brought on by significant other pacing in the driveway, needing to leave for work.
J
Jet propelled: Description for a gaseous run. (Unfortunately, does not typically make the runner faster.)
Jogging: A term we aren’t even going to define—and you are not allowed to use. If you propel yourself forward faster than a walk, you are running.
Jog itch: Condition that occurs after having a good run; all of a sudden, you can’t wait for your next. Also, the feeling you get when you’re injured and can’t run. Or you’re housebound with three kids under 7 and can’t run. Or you’re stuck in a meeting and can’t run. Or . . .
Junk holders: Liners on men’s running shorts.
K
K: Kilometer, which is the equivalent of .62 mile. (Yes, the world should be on one system.)
L
Lactic acid: A chemical substance that forms in your muscles when you run at a pace that you can’t breathe easily, and you definitely can’t talk. Makes your legs feel like they are burning.
Ladder: A track workout in which the distances go up, and then down, like (hottie) firefighters on a ladder. A typical ladder might be 1 minute, 2 minutes, 3 minutes, 2 minutes, 1 minute; with recovery between each effort. While they seem complicated on paper, ladders are more interesting to do than, say, 10 x 1 minute, and once you’re on the way back “down,” life feels pretty good. The key with running ladder intervals is adjusting your effort, or pace, as the distance changes. The shorter the interval, the harder the effort. Longer segments should be approached in a more controlled manner.
Land mines: Dog poop or horse manure left in the middle of a trail.
Log: What you record your runs in, whether on paper or electronically. Also what you try to avoid tripping over while trail running.
LPPM: Last Possible Pee Moment. Occurs right before you head out the door.
LSD: No, not the psychedelic drug favored by Timothy Leary and Jerry Garcia, but Long, Slow Distance, the pace the majority of your long runs should be.
M
Masters runner: A runner over the age of 40, which SBS keeps reminding herself is supposedly “the new 30.” This age distinction comes into play in races (and track meets), as bigger ones have Masters divisions to keep the youngsters from taking home all the hardware.
Mountain Dew: Sweat between the boobs.
N
Naked run: A workout done with no music, no GPS, no set route.
Natural energy production: Watts produced by thighs rubbing together.
Negative split: The holy grail of racers. This elusive goal is achieved by running the second half of a race (or workout) faster than the first half, which involves pacing yourself exceptionally well and not going out too fast. We’re both pretty sure it’s a phenomenon we’ve only read about. (Do as we say, not as we do.)
Noassatall: Condition the rears of runners get from too many miles. Antonym: a J-Lo.
Nursing mom: Style achieved by a very wet sports bra and a dry shirt—and having the two meet. Two big, very pronounced circles, like your baby hasn’t eaten in days.
O
OMD: Orchestral maneuvers in the dark; a run before sunrise or after sunset.
P
Pacer: A runner charged with the task of running a race in a specific amount of time, such as a 4:15 marathon or 2:00 half, to help other racers reach that goal.
Pickups: “Hey, baby, come here often?” Oh, sorry, that’s a pickup line. Pickups are very short sprints (shorter than fartleks) thrown into a run that’s otherwise done at an easy pace. Like a come-on from a handsome stranger in a bar, they can be a nice diversion in an otherwise ho-hum night out/run.
Prairie dogging: An urgent need to poop on a run; the matter almost escapes and then doesn’t, the way a prairie dog goes in and out of his house. Synonym: turtle head.
PR/PB: No, not “public relations” and “peanut butter.” PR = personal record, your fastest finishing time for a recent race. (No official statute of limitations, but don’t go bragging about some sub-20:00 5K if, say, a Bush was president when you ran it.) PB = personal best, favored by our neighbors to the north in Canada.
Predator: Another runner who sneaks up on you and passes you. (After the predator passes you, you’re roadkill.)
Priming the pistons: Applying BodyGlide to the inner thighs, the area most prone to chafing.
Puke pace: Self-explanatory. The goal during most speed workouts.
R
Race pace: The pace at which you travel between the starting line and finish line. Often a subject that requires quite a bit of discussion and obsessive thought. To determine yours, check out the Magic Mile.
Rart: Running fart.
Recovery run: A short, easy cruise, usually under 3 miles, you do the day after a hard effort or race. Meant to get healing blood flowing to your aching muscles. (You’ll feel much better afterward, we promise.)
Repeats: A way to describe a workout in which you run the same preset distance more than once. Although you can do 400 or 800 repeats, the term is usually applied to the mile distance (for example, “mile repeats” and the dreaded “2-mile repeats”).
RICE: Rest, Ice, Compression, and Elevation. A healing prescription used on some injuries; ice is the most-often-used component, but compression wear (or an ACE bandage), rest, and putting that foot/ankle/knee higher than your heart is never a bad idea.
River Nile: Sweat running between the girls on hot, humid days of summer.
Rulking: More running than walking.
Rumace: Running and grimacing. Often up a hill.
Run for the roses: Marathon in which an athlete attempts to qualify for Boston.
Runiversary: Anniversary of your first run.
Runner’s high: Legal in all 50 states and countries worldwide, this is an as-yet-unproven feeling of supreme well-being and elation experienced by some runners after an amazing run. In short: the running equivalent of an orgasm.
S
Sahara: Killer stretches, generally uphill, that have no trees for shade.
Slaying the dragon: Getting out that all-important number two, pre-race, with just minutes before the gun goes off. Often occasion for a little celebration.
Sliming yourself: Condition that occurs when your own snot rocket lands on you.
Sloggun: Slippery, soggy runs on snow-covered, icy, melting trails or streets.
Snot rocket: Blowing your nose, sans Kleenex. Synonyms: air hanky; farmer blow.
Snot snipered: Unfortunate situation when you pass another runner right as they are blowing a snot rocket.
Split: A delicious concoction made with ice cream, chocolate sauce, and . . . Oh, not that kind, sorry. In the running world, a split is the amount of time you take to run a specific segment of a race. Can be mile by mile (“My split for that last mile was blazing fast.”) or averaged over the course of a race. For example, if you cross the line of a 10K in 56 minutes flat, you had 9:00 splits, meaning you averaged 9 minutes for each mile.
Spurts: Exertion-induced, unexpected pee leaks.
Step sister: A best running buddy. Synonym: sole sister, BRF.
Stretching: Something we should all do more of, but that gets cast aside in favor of an extra 5 minutes of running or unloading the dishwasher before the troops awaken.
Strides: An efficient way to develop speed and faster footfalls, strides are usually done at the end of an easy run to remind your legs how to move fast without doing a full hard workout. Involves speeding up for roughly 100 meters (or about 30 seconds), then recovering for about the same amount of time before doing it again.
Swamp ass: Too much sweat between the crack.
Swass: Sweaty Ass.
T
Talking to the cornstalks: Answering nature’s call on a rural run. Synonym: Tying your shoe.
Taper: A beautiful time in a race plan, when you lay off the miles so your muscles can soak up all the hard work you’ve done and you can head to the starting line rarin’ to go. Also a common time to go stir-crazy, especially if you’re training for a half or full marathon, but realize it’s for the good of the cause. Do not run off the crazies.
Tempo: A portion of a run done at 75 to 85 percent of your max effort for a set amount of distance (usually 1 to 4 miles), preceded by a warm-up and followed by a cooldown. Best accompanied by fast-paced tunes or a speedy friend with whom you feel slightly competitive.
Therapy session: A run.
Turnover: How quickly you pick ’em up and lay ’em down (’em = your feet). See also cadence.
Tying your shoe: Ducking off for a potty break on a group run.
U
Ultramarathon: Any race longer than 26.2 miles. More often than not, the race is on trails, so runners often hike or power-walk up steep hills to conserve their energy. SBS is alternately intrigued—and horrified—by the idea of running a 50K; Dimity needs to make it through her next half-marathon before she can even think about going farther.
W
Walunning: More walking than running.
Warm-up: The start of most every run, when you run at an ease-into-it pace, hoping your neighbors don’t think you always run this slowly. It’s the time to get your muscles, joints, and (creaky) connective tissues limber and lubed, and to get your head in the game for the upcoming workout.
Wogging: A cross between walking and jogging (ick, that word again!).
X
x: A way to abbreviate track workouts. The letter x stands for times, so 3 x 800 means you run an 800 (twice around the track) three times.
XXX Training: Post-run action in the sack; often brought on by a stronger libido because of revved-up blood flow. Synonym: crosstraining.
Z
Zen runner: A runner who won’t wave, smile, nod, look, or in any way acknowledge your presence as you pass by. (We generally give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they’re in “the zone,” otherwise we’d call them something else.)
1 A mix of serious running terms, which you can drop into conversations without hesitation (“Oh, my 6 x 800 session at the track really gave me a massive lactic acid burn, but I felt so good, I even finished with some strides.”), and many more entertaining terms from the AMR tribe, which we compiled via a blog post long ago.