Wrapping Your Brain around the Extended Response Guidelines

In spite of its name, the Extended Response doesn’t consist of a real research essay so much as a series of related paragraphs. You aren’t expected to produce a book-length opus complete with documented research. Rather, you’re expected to write a coherent series of interrelated paragraphs on a given topic and use correct grammar, punctuation, and spelling. Your score is based partially on how effectively you analyze the argument and evidence presented in the passage(s), and partially on how effectively you present your own argument and evidence. Examiners look for an essay that’s well organized and sticks to the topic given. Specifically, to write a top notch essay, here’s what you need to do:

Choose the position in the passage(s) that’s supported best. Whether you agree or disagree with the issue presented is immaterial. The essay doesn’t test your knowledge of a given topic or the validity of your personal opinions. Rather, it tests your ability to analyze the source documents and express and support your position using evidence from the passage(s).
State your position clearly and forcefully. Don’t mince words. Early in your essay, possibly as early as in the first sentence, state your position on the issue.
Support your position with plenty of evidence from the passage(s). The reading passage(s) contain(s) all the evidence you need to support your claim. Don’t introduce any evidence from your personal experience, reading you’ve done outside the test, or anywhere else.
Fully develop your main points. Whenever you make a point, back it up with evidence from the passage(s). Stating a claim doesn’t cut it; you have to develop and support those claims.
Present your thoughts and support in logical order. Your essay must progress smoothly and logically from point A to point B, and you must tie all your supporting detail into your main points. Most importantly, stick to the topic.
Write a clear message with a specific purpose to convince a particular audience. Your purpose is to convince an audience who may disagree with your position or be undecided. Your message must be clear and direct.
Transition smoothly throughout your essay. Use transitional words and phrases as needed to tie paragraphs, sentences, and ideas together in a way that lets the reader easily follow your train of thought. Keep in mind, however, that transitional phrases can’t overcome the weaknesses of a poorly organized essay. One of the best ways to transition smoothly from one idea to the next is to organize your essay so it follows a logical progression.
Choose precise words. The best word is the clearest.
Vary your sentence structure. Demonstrate your mastery of the language by composing sentences of varying length and complexity.
Avoid mistakes. Spelling, grammar, and punctuation count, so if time remains, give your essay a final read-through to catch and eliminate errors.

The evaluation grades your essay on a three-point scale. You receive 2, 1, or 0 points, depending on your success in meeting these criteria. You can check out a guide for teachers on the RLA Extended Response at www.gedtestingservice.com/uploads/files/949aa6a0418791c4f3b962a4cd0c92f4.pdf. Here, you can see a sample essay prompt and a breakdown of how it’s evaluated. Be aware that evaluation of the GED test is an ongoing process. The GED Testing Service does make changes to the test timing and format at times. The website will have the latest information.

A computer performs the initial evaluation of your essay. The software, a combination of grammar- and spell-checker and evaluation algorithm, screens your essay. This mechanical process looks for very specific points. Besides evaluating the content and arguments presented, it searches for grammar errors, spelling mistakes, wordy phrases and expressions, and non-Standard English usage. After the initial evaluation, a person, often a high-school English teacher, evaluates the essay.

Read the sections on what constitutes a passing score very carefully. If you don’t pass the essay, you won’t accumulate a high enough score on the other sections to pass the RLA test.

Choosing a Side

The RLA Extended Response essay requires you to examine two papers, essays, articles, documents, or other passages and decide which presents and defends its position best. (Sometimes, you’ll read two arguments in a single passage.) You identify the thesis and examine the evidence presented. Your essay then argues which side presents the better argument based on the evidence presented.

Choosing a side is an important first step. If you choose the wrong side, you’ll have less or worse evidence from the passages to support the position you decide to argue. Although the choice is entirely up to you, we recommend that you choose the position that is better argued and more fully supported, which may not necessarily be the position you personally agree with.

The process we suggest in the following sections is time consuming. You won’t have time to perform it on the test as described here. This process provides you with a way to read the two passages critically, identify strengths and weaknesses in their arguments, and gather evidence for supporting whichever side you choose. On the test, you’ll do much of this work in your head, jotting down a few notes for reference. However, we recommend that you practice the full process on numerous opinion pieces so that it becomes second nature prior to test day.

Identifying the different positions

The source texts you’re provided are typically written in the form of argumentation essays. An argumentation essay has a thesis statement, typically a single sentence that presents a point of view on a controversial topic, followed by reasoning and evidence to support that claim. The thesis statement usually appears at the beginning of a passage and is reiterated at the end. The developers of the GED test choose passages in which the positions are fairly easy to identify.

As you skim the passages, the thesis should be obvious in the first paragraph. If you’re unsure, read the first and final paragraphs and skim everything between. Ask yourself, “What’s the point?” or “What is the author trying to persuade me to think or do?” If you can answer either question, you’ve discovered the thesis statement.

Read the following passages using the method we just described and identify the thesis statement in each passage. Write your answer on the line below each passage.

Passage One

The union movement has outlived its usefulness. It is based on a model of confrontation suitable for the 19th century but no longer needed in the 21st. The movement assumes that all employers are determined and able to increase their profits at the expense of workers. Whether they are keeping wages low or stripping workers of benefits, the employers are out to get the workers.

However, today labor laws provide protection against corporate excesses. Minimum wage standards, pensions, health insurance managed by the government, and laws governing safety in the workplace are all in place to protect workers. Laws against discrimination and legal procedures for firing workers restrict an employer’s ability to terminate employment unjustly. Laws are even in place to protect workers who file complaints with government agencies against employers.

With all these protections, unionization does little for workers other than add to the workers’ expenses as they support a bloated union bureaucracy.

Passage One thesis:

Passage Two

Workers need unions today more than ever. Corporations are determined to promote profits above all else, even at the expense of their own workers. This at a time when the average CEO’s hourly earnings are between 600 and 700 times that of the average worker. Workers’ hours are cut or their positions are turned over to contract workers. Jobs are downsized and sent offshore, benefits cut or denied, and wages kept as low as possible. The richest corporations even lobby against improvements to the minimum wage.

According to Executive Paywatch, the CEO of Yahoo in 2013 had a total annual compensation package of nearly $25 million, while the Bureau of Labor Statistics determined the average production worker earned just over $35,000. CEO earnings in 1965 were 20 times that of their workers; today the ratio is 300 times that. While wages for workers have stagnated, executive earnings have risen some 22 percent since 2010. Workers at the lowest end of the wage scale do not earn enough to live on. Ronald Reagan once said that wealth earned by the top income earners would trickle down to all. So far, we’re still waiting.

Workers’ wages are low, and many workers rely on welfare and food stamps to subsidize their earnings. Many workers get too few hours to qualify for benefits. Walmart, one of America’s largest employers, is once again holding food drives at several stores for its employees. This is the same company that fought against any efforts to unionize workers, going so far as to close stores where a unionization vote had succeeded.

Unions negotiate more than just wages. Typical union contracts contain provisions for health care and other benefits, pensions in addition to the basic Social Security, antidiscrimination and workplace safety clauses, even job security provisions. These provisions go well beyond legislated minimums.

Legislation has alleviated the worst abuses of industrialization, especially during the New Deal. In part, that achievement grew out of new legislation supporting unionization and workers’ rights. However, corporations have found new ways around the legislated controls and worker benefits. Only a strong union organization can protect workers.

Passage Two thesis:

The two passages cover the same issue: the need for unions. However, the passages have diametrically opposed positions. The first passage argues that unions are no longer required, while the second passage argues that workers really need unions today. Those positions are clearly identified in the first paragraph and summarized in the final paragraph in each passage:

Passage One thesis: The union movement has outlived its usefulness.

Passage Two thesis: Workers need unions today more than ever.

If the thesis statements you wrote down differ a little from the ones given here, that’s fine. Just make sure that the thesis statement you wrote down for the first passage has something about unions being unnecessary and that the second one describes the opposite viewpoint.

The testing center supplies an erasable tablet to use as a scratch pad. Pen and paper aren’t allowed. Use the tablet to take notes as you prepare to compose your RLA Extended Response essay. Start by making two lists, one for each passage. Write the thesis statement from each passage, and then write additional notes for each passage as you go.

Examining the strengths and weaknesses of each argument

As you read the two passages, you must analyze the passages to decide which presents the stronger argument. To determine which argument is stronger, analyze the passages in respect to the following items:

Credibility of the premises (stated views) and any assumptions (unstated views) on which the argument is based
Quantity and validity of the evidence presented to support the argument
Bias or emotional appeals that may diminish the writer’s credibility
Faulty logic that weakens or undermines the argument

The GED test doesn’t allow for fact checking the information presented. You have no access to outside reference materials. You have to accept that supporting evidence presented is valid, unless you notice a glaring error in something you know as absolute fact or the presentation shows some form of bias. Your task is to determine which passage presents the most (and most convincing) supporting evidence and uses it in a valid way.

Identifying premises and assumptions

The first step in analyzing the strengths and weaknesses of an argument is to identify and write down the premises and assumptions on which each argument is based. These are the claims, stated or implied, that the writer uses as the basis of mini-arguments leading up to the overall conclusion being drawn. (For more about identifying premises and assumptions, turn to Chapter 6.) Go back through the preceding two passages, identify the premises, and note them in the spaces provided here. (Don’t identify assumptions yet.)

Weighing the evidence

When you’ve nailed down the premises and assumptions, identify the supporting evidence for each premise. Below each premise, write a brief entry describing every piece of evidence presented to support it. When the list is complete, examine each piece of supporting evidence for validity.

Evidence can be fact or opinion and can come from a variety of sources. It has been selected to support the position the author takes in the passage, but it can be skewed. The passage may give statistics in a straightforward manner, like a newspaper article, without any evidence of bias. That information is possibly valid. Statistics may be mentioned together with their sources for more validity. Evidence from a variety of sources is even better. Overall consistency of evidence is also worth considering.

You need to decide whether the evidence is factual. Does the passage contain anything that lends credibility to the evidence? Does the selected evidence in any way show bias? Does the text use loaded vocabulary? The second paragraph of Passage One presents evidence clearly, without any signs of bias, although the evidence provided isn’t very specific. The style is almost like a series of bullet points. The second passage does the same, using more specific data, and it specifies sources for some of the data.

Here is a chart that can help you organize the supporting information in a passage. Complete the chart shown in Figure 8-1 or draw up your own evidence analysis chart and use it to analyze the evidence presented in the two sample passages. Create additional pages as necessary.

*John Wiley & Sons, Inc.*

Figure 8-1: Analyze the evidence chart.

Table 8-1 shows a sample evidence analysis for the two sample passages presented in this section. Although your evidence analysis is likely to differ, it should reflect a similar unbiased analysis of the evidence.

Table 8-1 Sample Evidence Analysis for Passages One and Two

Passage	Premise	Evidence	Validity
One	Union model no longer useful	Based on model of confrontation	Probably true
		Assumes employers driven to exploit workers for their own benefit	Probably true
		Assumes employers out to get workers	Probably true
	Modern labor laws protect workers	Minimum wage, pensions, health insurance by government	Accurate
		Workplace safety laws	Accurate
		Antidiscrimination laws	Accurate
		Worker protection to file complaints	Accurate
			No discussion of how effective these laws are
	Unions do little for workers	Unions merely cost workers money	May be true
		Union dues support “bloated” bureaucracy	No support, biased
Two	Corporations profit driven at expense of workers	CEO earnings hundreds of times of average worker’s	Probably true
		Worker hours cut or outsourced	Probably true
		Jobs downsized, compensation reduced	Probably true
		Corporations lobby against minimum wage increases	Probably true
	CEO incomes rise while worker incomes sink	Yahoo CEO $25 million, production worker $35K	Statistics solid, but source Executive Paywatch may be biased; only one CEO used
		CEO: worker earnings from 20:1 to 600:1	Good detail, ditto source
		Executive earning rise 22%, worker wages stagnant	Good detail, ditto source
		Low-end workers don’t earn living wage	Probably true
		Trickle down claim	Biased/emotional
		Many workers on welfare and food stamps	Probably true
		Walmart food drive for employees	Only one example, happened at only some stores
	Unions do more than get higher wages	Health care, pensions, anti-discrimination, safety issues, job security	Probably true
		Provisions exceed legislated minimums	Probably true, good point
	Legislation not enough	Part of reason legislation has helped is that it has helped unions	Probably true, good point
		Corporations exploit loopholes in legislation	Probably true

Testing for logical errors

Logical errors are ways of thinking that lead to erroneous conclusions or fail to support those conclusions. We cover invalid reasoning in Chapter 6, but here are a few of the more common types of logical errors you need to watch out for:

Overgeneralization: A broad conclusion drawn from a limited amount of evidence. Passage Two, for example, uses the Walmart food drive for workers to support the premise that workers are so underpaid food drives are necessary for their survival. However, you’ve already noted that this food drive happened in only two or three stores in the entire country. Although the point of poor wages may be true, the generalization isn’t. Carefully examine any generalization. It can be a problem when based on very few facts and can easily be used to misrepresent.
Inaccurate depiction of the opposing viewpoint: One common tactic in arguments is to mischaracterize the opposing viewpoint and then attack the fictional viewpoint. Passage One does so by comparing modern unions to those of the 19th century, during which time unions operated under the assumption that employers are “out to get the workers.” However, no evidence is provided to prove that such a comparison is accurate.
Erroneous cause-effect connection: Assuming that event A caused event B just because event A happened first is flawed reasoning. For example, the fact that childhood obesity has become more prevalent since the introduction of the chemical BPA in plastics doesn’t mean that BPA caused the increase in childhood obesity. More evidence is necessary to prove the connection.
Faulty deductive reasoning: Deductive reasoning usually involves two or more premises that lead to a conclusion. Both passages presented in this example use deductive reasoning:
- In Passage One, the reasoning goes something like this: “Labor laws accomplish what unions used to do in the past. Therefore, unions are an unnecessary expense for workers.”
- In Passage Two, the reasoning goes something like this: “Corporations are profit driven and don’t care about workers. Many workers don’t earn enough to live. Unions help workers earn higher wages and other benefits. Corporations have found ways around labor laws; therefore, unions are still necessary.”

Here’s a common example of faulty deductive reasoning: “All dogs have four legs. My cat has four legs. Therefore, my cat is a dog.” (See Chapter 6 for more about other logical flaws.) When evaluating arguments, carefully examine the premises and conclusion (thesis) to determine whether the conclusion follows logically from the premises.

Rooting out bias and emotional appeals

As part of your argument analysis, look for signs of bias and emotional appeals. Both of the sample passages presented contain statements that carry an emotional component instead of making a rational argument. The end of Passage One, for example, uses the phrase “bloated union bureaucracy,” which is an emotionally charged value judgment with no evidence to back it up. In Passage Two, you can argue that the last sentence in the second paragraph carries emotional overtones with no evidence to support the claim against trickle-down economics. Emotional appeals can be useful in making an argument but can also mislead the reader. Consider whether these statements negate the arguments or are acceptable. You should certainly mention in your essay any incidence of bias or emotional appeal as part of the paragraph critical of what one or the other of the passages argues, so take note of them.

Picking a position you can support

You’ve done all the hard work of analyzing the arguments. Now you need to take a stand on the issue and pick a side. Which passage does a more effective job of presenting and supporting its point of view? More importantly, given the arguments and the evidence presented, for which side of the argument do you think the passages have best equipped you to argue? Notice that none of these questions asks you which position you agree with; that’s irrelevant. When you’re deciding which passage is most effective, you’re not acting as a lawyer about to argue a case; instead, you’re acting as a judge determining which side presented the best case. To help you decide which passage is most convincing, answer the following questions:

Which passage presents the strongest, clearest thesis?
In which passage do the premises lead most logically to the stated conclusion?
Which passage provides the most and most detailed and credible evidence in support of its premises?
Which passage is free of logical errors such as overgeneralizations?
Which passage presents its claims in the most unbiased manner?

You have no other option. You must select one or the other passage. Although you should point out weaknesses in the passage you choose, the goal remains to show that one passage is definitely better supported than the other. You want to make sure that your position is clear.

Be aware of your own biases and preferences. If you’re pro- or antiunion or are concerned about income inequality or executive wages, your own viewpoint may be biased toward one of these passages. That bias can influence your decision on which passage to argue for. Be careful to assess the material as dispassionately as possible. Keep to a strictly factual interpretation of the passage content.

Refer to the chart you used in Figure 8-1. Check off each point that has good support. Now decide which passage uses the fewest emotional appeals or least biased or loaded wording. Emotional appeals aren’t in themselves wrong, but they can prejudice the way you interpret the information. Some emotion is quite normal in an essay designed to persuade; you need to decide whether a passage has too much. The same goes for loaded wording.

Structuring Your Argument

You can structure your Extended Response in any number of ways. Every writer has a favorite. You’ve probably heard of the hamburger, pyramid, and inverted pyramid models. You can find plenty of information about those models online. We recommend what we call the formula essay, which is a variation of another common model, the five-paragraph essay. Here’s the formula (outline), with each item in the list representing a paragraph:

Introduction with thesis statement and, possibly, evidence preview: This paragraph is where you state your position, typically identifying the passage that makes the stronger case and briefly stating why. The paragraph may also include a preview of the evidence or other introductory material to let the reader know what’s coming next.
Premise 1 with supporting evidence: State your first premise and follow up with two or three sentences of supporting detail, based primarily on the evidence presented in the two passages.
Premise 2 with supporting evidence: State your second premise and follow up with two or three sentences of supporting detail, based primarily on the evidence presented in the two passages.
Additional premise with supporting evidence (optional): If you have additional evidence, state the premise drawn from that evidence along with a sentence or two of supporting detail.
Acknowledgement and refutation of opposing viewpoint: To convince a reader of a particular point of view, you must anticipate and address any rebuttals (counterarguments) to your argument. Because you’re not in the reader’s mind to respond to rebuttals, you must address them in your essay. You don’t get a second chance. So just before you wrap up your essay, acknowledge at least one opposing viewpoint and refute it, preferably with evidence to show why the opposing viewpoint is wrong. Here’s where your notes come in handy. If you noticed any logical errors that form the basis of the opposing viewpoint, introduce them here.
Conclusion with restatement of thesis and, possibly, evidence recap: Wrap it up. Restate your thesis in a confident tone to add closure to your essay.

Draft an outline for your formula essay starting with the thesis statement you wrote.

Thesis statement:
Premise 1:
Premise 2:
Additional premise:
Opposing viewpoint:
Conclusion:

Here’s an example:

Thesis statement: The evidence in the two passages indicates that unions are as necessary today as they were in the last century.
Premise 1: The argument that unions are needed to improve wages is made clearly and shown with appropriate supporting evidence.
Premise 2: The important role that unions play in protecting workers’ benefits beyond just wages is also clearly stated and has sufficient evidence to support it.
Additional premise: The third key argument — the links among the need for employers to find cheaper labor to remain competitive, legislation that has encouraged many companies to outsource jobs, and the need for unions to protect domestic jobs — is also clearly presented and supported.
Opposing viewpoint: The counterargument that new laws preserve workers’ rights is valid but ignores the fact that these laws can be and are being circumvented by employers.
Conclusion: The argument that unions are needed now more than ever is stronger.

Putting your main points in logical order

In your opening paragraph, after your thesis statement, you presented your points in a logical order. Whether that order was in ascending or descending order of importance is a matter of personal preference, although most examiners prefer an ascending order. That builds involvement and anticipation, just like a growing crescendo in music.

If you followed our process for writing a formula essay, your main points should be in logical order, but double-check the outline you produced in the previous section to be sure. Focus especially on your premises, paragraphs 2, 3, and 4. Your thesis statement will remain at the beginning, your conclusion will stay at the end, and your second-to-last paragraph, where you address the opposing viewpoint, won’t move. The only three main points you need to concern yourself with are your premises.

Building your arguments

Each paragraph in the body of your Extended Response essay deals with a single point. Structure each paragraph like a miniature essay. The first sentence in each paragraph is the topic sentence, a statement identifying the point to be discussed in that paragraph. The rest of the paragraph must support that main point. Supporting details may include evidence, facts from the passage, and even relevant passage quotations.

At this point in the process, imagine yourself filling out a form like the following:

Paragraph One

Thesis statement:

Evidence summary:

Paragraph Two

Premise 1:

Evidence:

Paragraph Three

Premise 2:

Evidence:

Paragraph Four (optional)

Premise 3:

Evidence:

Paragraph Five (optional)

Opposing viewpoint:

Rebuttal:

Evidence:

Paragraph Six (Final)

Thesis restatement:

Closure:

Considering Your Purpose, Audience, and Message

Whenever you write anything — your GED test Extended Response, a letter to the editor of your local paper, or a cover letter for your resume — you need to think about what you want the letter to accomplish, the person(s) you’re addressing, and the message you want to convey. You don’t have to write all this information down or address it any formal way in your essay, but you do need to keep purpose, audience, and message in mind as you write your Extended Response. In the following sections, we describe each of these considerations in turn.

Purpose

When writing your RLA Extended Response, the purpose is clear: You’re writing to express your point of view and convince the reader that you’re right. Sure, your underlying purpose is to score as high as possible on this portion of the test, but if the people scoring your Extended Response are convinced by your argument, you’ll achieve that goal, too.

Purpose is important because it influences everything from organization to word choice. A letter to persuade your boss to give you a raise is quite different from instructions for connecting to a Wi-Fi hotspot.

Your purpose in an argumentative essay is to convince the reader. Don’t get confused with purposes of other types of writing. Your purpose isn’t to instruct, describe, or tell a story. Although you do need to inform the reader in terms of providing evidence to support your claims (thesis and premises), your primary objective isn’t to inform or explain. Your objective is to persuade.

Audience

Like a movie, an essay is intended for a particular audience. Before you put pen to paper, you need to think about who will be reading your essay. If your essay were to be used as an industry magazine editorial, you’d know that you had an audience with a particular level of education and set of interests. Your audience may have specific political leanings, biases, and preconceptions. To persuade such an audience of your viewpoint, you need to write your essay in a way that this audience will accept your points. Whether you’re writing for preteens, university professors, or your neighbors, you adjust the way you present the information to make it suitable.

Your audience for the Extended Response consists of the people who will read and score your essay. Write your essay as if to convince your high-school English teacher. The evaluators expect you to use Standard English — to demonstrate a good command of vocabulary and grammar. They want to see precision in your arguments.

Message

The message is what you want the reader to understand and accept. You want to present that message clearly and in a way that your audience will acknowledge. When you’ve organized the key points you want to present in your essay, you need to review how well they prove your thesis and how you present the information. You want to be convincing without being harsh. The wording needs to be strong enough to make the message clear without becoming so aggressive that the audience rejects it.

Writing and Revising Your Essay

After you’ve outlined your Extended Response, it should almost write itself. You’ve done the heavy lifting. You have a strong point of view and two or more strong premises, along with plenty of evidence to support each of them. You know which objection you’re going to refute and how you’re going to refute it. Now all you need to do is string together sentences to form paragraphs and paragraphs to form your Extended Response.

As you compose your Extended Response, follow the good-writing guidelines presented in Chapter 7. In the following sections, we highlight areas of writing on which to focus your efforts.

Practice writing Extended Responses on a computer so you’re accustomed to typing, cutting, copying, pasting, and moving text around on-screen and, perhaps most importantly, to how to undo changes in case you delete something by mistake. The computer software used to write the RLA exam provides a very basic word processor. It allows you to cut and paste, insert and delete, and generally rewrite as you want. It doesn’t contain a grammar- or spell-check function. You can outline your essay on the tablet provided. However, it will probably not allow you to do a rough draft. You’ll need to write that draft on-screen and then do all your revisions there as well. Transitioning from paper to screen can be challenging. If you’re not comfortable with writing and editing on-screen, the best advice is to practice, practice, and practice some more.

Choosing your words carefully

When you’ve completed your rough draft on-screen, reread what you’ve written with an eye toward word choice and efficiency. Chapter 7 explains the importance of choosing the most precise words and avoiding the pitfalls of wordiness. Specifically, look for the following signs of trouble:

Homonyms: Words that sound the same but differ in meaning
Frequently confused words: Words such as accept and except that people commonly misuse
Slang and other informal English: Phrases such as kind of and sort of or, even worse, kinda and sorta
Passive voice: Sentences that start with anything other than the person or thing performing the action
Negative phrases: Phrases with “no” or “not” that can be rephrased into shorter, positive statements
Redundancy: Repetition of words, statements, details, or ideas
Nominalizations: Verbs used as nouns, such as indication (indicate) and stabilization (stabilize)
Phrasal verbs: Two or more words used together to express action, such as decide on (choose) and hold up (delay)
Unnecessary use of prepositions: Prepositional phrases that can be reduced to one or two words, such as view of the majority (majority’s view) or on a regular basis (regularly)

Vocabulary in essay writing is important. When you’re trying to convince an audience that your points are valid and need to be taken seriously, presentation is important. Remember that the RLA test expects you to use proper and Standard English, avoiding slang and colloquial expressions. Review the list of homonyms and commonly mistaken words presented in Chapter 7. Be sure you’re using the appropriate words in the proper manner. Check for short forms or familiar expressions, and make sure they conform to Standard English usage. You’re not writing for your pals. You’re writing for evaluators with very specific expectations of clarity and language use.

The English language has dozens of words meaning roughly the same thing. The synonyms often have subtle differences among them. Choose the most precise word you can think of. Misusing vocabulary counts against you when your paper is marked. However, don’t get so obsessed with choosing the right word that you run out of time; express yourself as clearly as possible, and then go back through if time remains and make adjustments.

Varying your sentence patterns

Nothing is more boring than sentences that are all alike. That would be like a song consisting of only one note or the annoying drip, drip, drip of a leaky faucet. Vary your sentence patterns by mixing simple sentences with compound, complex, and compound-complex sentences, as explained in Chapter 7.

However, complexity increases the risk of errors. The more complex your sentences become, the higher the chances that you may make grammar mistakes. Pay particular attention to subject-verb agreement and to pronouns and their antecedents. See Chapter 7 for details.

Smoothing transitions

When markers read your Extended Response, they evaluate how well you transition from one sentence to the next and from one paragraph to the next. They need to be able to follow your train of thought. If you present them with a train wreck, you’ll earn a well-deserved low score. To build smooth transitions into your Extended Response, use the following three techniques:

Stick to your outline. A well-organized essay doesn’t have to rely so much on heavy-duty transitional words and phrases, such as “as a result,” “therefore,” and “due to the fact that.”
Repeat key words and phrases. Frequently, you can subtly transition from sentence to sentence or paragraph to paragraph by repeating one or more key words from the previous sentence in the new sentence.
Use transitional phrases as needed. Transitional phrases provide valuable information to readers regarding how two ideas are related, or they signal a shift or contrast between two ideas. Although you should avoid overusing them, don’t avoid using them altogether.

For more about transitional words and phrases, check out Chapter 7.

Detecting and eliminating errors in spelling, grammar, usage, and punctuation

As you read and revise your Extended Response, don’t overlook the little stuff. Spelling, grammar, usage, and punctuation count toward your final score, and because you’re not using a full-featured word processor, you’re your own editor. Be particularly mindful of the following issues:

It’s versus its: It’s is the contraction of “it is.” Its is the possessive pronoun.
Number versus amount: Number is a count of individuals, such as rabbits. Amount is a quantity of stuff, such as mashed potatoes.
Quotation mark placement: Periods and commas go inside quotation marks. Question marks, semicolons, and colons go inside quotation marks if they’re part of the quotation and outside when they’re not.
Complete sentences: A complete sentence requires a subject and a verb, an actor and an action.
Pronoun-antecedent clarity: Be particularly careful of demonstrative pronouns, such as this, these, and those. If the reader has to question what any of those words refers to, you need to add something from the previous sentence to clarify. For example, if you’re explaining a new government policy and then write something like “This calls for a change in policy,” you can clarify by saying something along the lines of “This oversight calls for…” or “This incident calls for… .”
Commas and conjunctions: Place a comma before a conjunction, such as and and so, if the conjunction joins two complete sentences, each with its own subject and verb. Omit the comma if what follows the conjunction isn’t a complete sentence. Be careful when the subject of a sentence performs two actions, as in “Larry mowed the lawn and planted some flowers.” You don’t see a comma before and because what follows it isn’t a complete sentence.

For more about ridding your prose of common errors in grammar, usage, and punctuation, see Chapter 7.

Rereading and revising your response

The final step in preparing your essay is to reread and revise. Writing on a computer presents particular challenges. Studies show people are more likely to skim and skip over text on-screen than to read thoroughly. Now that you’re aware of that, carefully reread your draft. Sometimes reading “out loud” to yourself without actually speaking is a good technique for reading more carefully. The “to yourself” part is important because actually reading out loud may get you into trouble on the actual test.

As you reread, remain especially sensitive to word choice, sentence patterns, and transitions, as explained earlier in this chapter. In addition, check the following:

Words or phrases that make you stumble: If you have trouble reading something, your evaluator will have even more trouble. Rephrase to smooth out the bumps.
Meaningless phrases: Sometimes a sentence or phrase seems important when you write it, but you find yourself asking, “What was I thinking?!” when you reread it. Get rid of these bits before the evaluator sees them.
Overly obvious phrases: If a sentence or phrase tempts you to respond, “Yeah, duh!”, it’s probably too obvious to mention. Delete it.
Digressions: Although the formula model is likely to keep you on track, one of the most common errors involves drifting off topic. If you start to rant, you’re probably drifting off topic. Your Extended Response should follow a clear path from introduction to conclusion.

Penning Powerful Prose for the Extended Response

Wrapping Your Brain around the Extended Response Guidelines

Choosing a Side

Identifying the different positions

Passage One

Passage Two

Examining the strengths and weaknesses of each argument

Identifying premises and assumptions

Weighing the evidence

Testing for logical errors

Rooting out bias and emotional appeals

Picking a position you can support

Writing a Clear, Direct Thesis Statement

Structuring Your Argument

Putting your main points in logical order

Building your arguments

Considering Your Purpose, Audience, and Message

Purpose

Audience

Message

Writing and Revising Your Essay

Choosing your words carefully

Varying your sentence patterns

Smoothing transitions

Detecting and eliminating errors in spelling, grammar, usage, and punctuation

Rereading and revising your response