Everyone thinks his or her family is zany or dysfunctional, right? Maybe you have had some dirty family laundry that came out of the dryer when you were twenty, or an uncle who hoards cats, or you yourself might deal with a disorder or two, or just have a habit of making bad life choices. But after getting a load of the nonfiction and realistic fiction titles in this chapter, from the religious fanaticism and abuse in Jesus Land to the lovely Edies who lived in the eventual squalor of Grey Gardens, you might think your family is completely normal (if such a thing even exists). Open up your closet and set your skeletons free before curling up with one of these little numbers.
August: Osage County (2007) by Tracy Letts
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The Weston family has gathered at their unhappy homestead in Pawhuska, Oklahoma, after sixty-nine-year-old Beverly goes missing one hot August night. His wife, Violet, her sisters and their husbands, and Beverly and Violet’s adult children and their mates can’t help but sling barb after barb at one another, and the dirty family secrets quickly begin to bubble up to the surface. The pill-popping, always-falling-down mother will haunt those with mother issues long after they’ve put this compact read down. Winner of the Pulitzer Prize for Drama, this play and its thirteen memorable characters slam into your gut and take you on a wild ride of ups and downs through family madness, rage, and secrets.
Chinese Cinderella: The True Story of an Unwanted Daughter (1999) by Adeline Yen Mah
“Mama died giving birth to you. If you had not been born, Mama would still be alive.”
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Adeline Yen Mah grew up in a viciously dysfunctional home at the hands of a sadistic stepmother, a true story reminiscent of the unjust oppression in the age-old fairy tale. Hold this book in your hands for just a moment and you’ll recognize that it’s Adeline Yen Mah’s legacy. It’s abundantly clear that she poured her heart and hope into this book. It includes a historical timeline of life in war-torn colonized China, from 1842 to 1950, as well as an invitation to unwanted children everywhere to not only persevere but to thrive despite the adversity they face. Covering her early childhood, this book follows Mah’s Falling Leaves: The True Story of an Unwanted Chinese Daughter, which focuses more on her young adult and adult years.
Forbidden (2010) by Tabitha Suzuma
“At what point does a fly give up trying to escape through a closed window—do its survival instincts keep it going until it is physically capable of no more, or does it eventually learn after one crash too many that there is no way out?”
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Seventeen-year-old Lochan and his sixteen-year-old sister Maya have had to grow up fast. Partners in helping to raise younger siblings and supporters of one another through trials and abuse and a confusing childhood, Lochan and Maya have become so close—too close. They count down the hours at school until they can see each other alone, and even though they know their relationship is illegal, immoral, and would be incomprehensible to others, they simply can’t stand to be apart. Suzuma manages to take a sensitive, taboo topic and weave a beautiful and haunting story that you know will not end well.
The Hotel New Hampshire (1981) by John Irving
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Since I call my style of colorful, unusual home decor “circus chic,” it occurred to me that John Irving’s style of storytelling in this title could be considered “circus romp.” If ever there was a darkly comedic tale about family and its inner workings and quirks, John Irving has nailed it with The Hotel New Hampshire. It begins with the patriarch of the family deciding that a family can survive living life in a hotel. What follows is a series of ups and downs for the bizarre family and its members. And, as in some other books on this list, there’s some freaky sex stuff going on in this one—if that doesn’t get you to read it, I’m not sure what will. Having read several John Irving books when I was young and then re-reading them in my thirties, I find that Irving gets better with age, and this one is no exception.
Jesus Land (2005) by Julia Scheeres
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In this memoir, Julia Scheeres shares her tremendous story about growing up with her adopted African-American brother, David, and in particular their experience at a Christian boot camp in the Dominican Republic. The abuse they suffer at the hands of their fundamentalist Christian parents and the racism they encounter in their Midwestern community will leave you gasping and enthralled. Having recently read Augusten Burroughs and As Nature Made Him: The Boy Who Was Raised As a Girl (2000) by John Colapinto, when I picked up Jesus Land I was struck by how differently children cope in order to survive adversity and how resilient and empowered these artists become as a result.
Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger’s (2007) by John Elder Robison
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Having been raised in a hectic and dysfunctional household, I often ruminate on the vast differences between me and my siblings, including how we see our parents and who our parents were when they raised each of us. That’s why this title appealed so much to me. From the older brother of author Augusten Burroughs comes this memoir about a “social deviant” in a time before Asperger’s syndrome was widely spoken about and correctly diagnosed as a mild form of autism. Be warned (or take heart) that this book is less about Asperger’s and more about funny, and at times tragic, events that happened throughout his life. Read this one alongside Burroughs’s Running with Scissors (2002) and Magical Thinking (2004) for an interesting look at two siblings who were raised by the same dysfunctional parents.
MemoraBEALEia: A Private Scrapbook About Edie Beale of Grey Gardens, First Cousin to First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis (2008) by Walter Newkirk
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Big and Little Edie Beale of Grey Gardens are two of the most fascinating people who ever lived. Little Edie, a drop-dead-gorgeous socialite and cousin to Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, lived her later years with her mother, Big Edie, at their East Hampton home, Grey Gardens. Despite their lavish upbringing and their famous ties, it was discovered in 1971 that the women had not only run out of money but were living in almost complete isolation, and Grey Gardens was falling apart around them. This book was specifically created for fans of the famous 1975 documentary Grey Gardens by brothers Albert and David Maysles and includes photos, newspaper clippings, and letters centering on Little Edie. Also be sure to check out the 2009 HBO film of the same name. The Edies are my favorite cult icons and there are far too few books about them.
The Poet Slave of Cuba: A Biography of Juan Francisco Manzano (2006) by Margarita Engle
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Juan Francisco Manzano (1797–1854) was born into the life of a house slave. His first mistress treated him like a pet, forced him to call her Mama, isolated him from other black children, and denied him an education. His next mistress was also abusive and denied him basic necessities in the form of a power play. This is the little-known story of Manzano, written in verse by another poet haunted by his words. You’ll want to roll these short poems around your mouth and experience the metallic tang of slavery and savor the earthy taste of freedom. They are beautifully paired with the mesmerizing artwork of Sean Qualls, expert at depicting human emotion.
Push (1996) by Sapphire
“Thas the alphabet. Twenty-six letters in all. Them letters make up words. Them words everything.”
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It was a struggle to decide where to list this book because the disturbing and heartbreaking title could appear in the chapter about fantastic books-into-film or audiobooks, or even the chapter on epistolary books because of the theme of journaling—but I knew, without a doubt, that this powerful book would have a place within these pages. The story of sixteen-year-old Precious Jones and the verbal, physical, and sexual abuse she suffers at the hands of her parents and on the streets of Harlem is stark. Depressing. Alarming. Brutal. Precious feels invisible except when her mother pounds her with words and fists. Then she meets the compassionate and caring teacher in her new literacy class at school and begins to form friendships with other girls in her class. In fact, the beginning of the book is rife with short, unpunctuated sentences, but by the end the syntax itself is different, the sentences longer and more complex, as Precious learns to read. She starts taking other steps to better her and her son’s situation, even if it’s just the beginning of what it will take to overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles caused by a racist, classist system. I don’t think it’s a spoiler to say that while the ending isn’t entirely hopeful, it’s not entirely bleak. It is, however, realistic.
The Secret Life of the Lonely Doll: The Search for Dare Wright (2004) by Jean Nathan
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If you’ve never seen Dare Wright’s The Lonely Doll picture books, run, don’t walk, to your library and pick them up. The Lonely Doll series, which started in 1957, tells the story of Edith, a doll who shares her time with two teddy bears. The books’ stark black-and-white photographs, including one in which a teddy bear is spanking Edith, are baffling and fascinating, and so is the life of the author—model and photographer Dare Wright. Learn about how she slept in the same bed as her mother well into adulthood, had a quasi-romantic relationship with her brother, and may have died a virgin. The relationship between Wright and her eccentric mother is eerily reminiscent of the famous Beale women (see Walter Newkirk’s book MemoraBEALEia, also listed in this chapter). From model to artist to recluse, Wright ended life much like her doll—alone.
Sickened: The Memoir of a Munchausen by Proxy Childhood (2003) by Julie Gregory
“It was usually after Mom slipped the little white pill under my tongue that my migraines got worse.”
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Julie Gregory grew up a sick kid—she had migraines, swollen tonsils, elusive allergies, a mysterious heart ailment. When doctors failed time and again to find a concrete diagnosis, or when they became the least bit suspicious, her mom would move on to the next doctor in the next county. It wasn’t until Gregory found herself on an operating table when she was thirteen years old that she blurted out the truth to a nurse—her mother was making her sick. She’d come to realize that her mother had Munchausen syndrome by proxy and was responsible for years of repeated illnesses. The book, interspersed with medical charts, is a fascinating and terrifying inside look at what happens when your incredibly abusive mother makes you sick on purpose and medical professionals become unwitting accomplices.
Three Little Words: A Memoir (2008) by Ashley Rhodes-Courter
“I have had more than a dozen so-called mothers in my life. Lorraine Rhodes gave birth to me. Gay Courter adopted me. Then there are the fillers.”
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Beginning at age three when Ashley Rhodes-Courter was taken from her mother, she experienced the worst kind of foster care nightmare one could imagine in fourteen different homes. Forced to rely on the faulty child protective services system and abusive foster parents, she is kicked around from school to school and house to house, wishing and hoping to be reunited with her birth mother. This memoir was born from an essay contest that Rhodes-Courter entered in order to win scholarships for school. It’s not a spoiler to say that this tremendous story has an amazing outcome: The author goes on to get a full ride to college and has graduated with honors with several degrees. She is a vocal advocate for children in the foster care system, even becoming a foster parent herself. And at the young age of twenty-six, she ran for a seat in the Florida State Senate. Rhodes-Courter demonstrates that hope matters and that young voices can be heard above all the noise.
Winter’s Bone (2006) by Daniel Woodrell
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Sixteen-year-old Ree Dolly has learned some hard news: Her crystal meth–manufacturing dad has skipped bail and she, her medicated mother, and her helpless younger brothers may be turned out into the cold of winter. Unless, of course, Ree can delve into the seedy criminal world of Rathlin Valley, Missouri, to find her father—dead or alive. This is one of Woodrell’s several “country noir” books set in the Ozarks, which is just a short road trip from the place I call home. That’s part of the reason I was so drawn to this book and to his book of short stories, The Outlaw Album (2011), mentioned in the chapter “Daisy Dukes.” As I read Winter’s Bone, I imagined my shallow breaths coming out in puffs of condensation—a cold, crooked, bleak beauty of a story told with masterful prose.