THE END OF THE BEGINNING
THE BEGINNING OF THE END
THE FINAL INSTALLMENT
Monday, 6:25 P.M.
After we finished our song, Gabe leaned back in his chair and clasped his hands together. For a second, I could almost see what Mom saw in him. There was a kindness that played around his eyes, even when he wasn’t smiling. “Your timing is perfect, girls. Well, not perfect, of course, given that everything in this life is flawed.”
“Of course.” My temporary brain-haze cleared. Gabe was nothing more than an old guy with a penchant for reciting from The Big Book of Buddha Quotes. But he was nice. And he made my mother glow. Which was worth something.
Mom laughed and rested her hand on Gabe’s arm. I looked at Zander, who was watching them with a small smile, and I realized how much I’d missed him over the last two days. Not just Crush Zander, or the feeling of excitement that overwhelmed me when I thought about our stairwell kiss. But Real Zander. The one who knew me and made me feel better when I was down.
“What I mean is, your timing is appropriate,” Gabe decided thoughtfully. “There’s something we—Stevie and I—wanted to share with you.”
“Like a surprise?” Ella gasped.
Gabe nodded. “Kacey? Do you want to sit down?”
We wanted to share? My skin went clammy. “I’m good,” I said carefully. “Go ahead.”
“I got a call from the department head at U of C this afternoon.” Gabe kept his eyes on Mom. “They offered me a permanent faculty position.”
“Gabe. Stop it.” Mom’s lower lip dropped in shock. I would have laughed at Mom’s adolescent reaction, had I not been consumed with the news that—
“You’re moving? Here?” My head snapped toward Stevie. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at the floor.
Gabe nodded. “As soon as we can get everything packed up in Seattle. I’ll start teaching a full course load this summer.”
Mom let out some kind of humiliating hyena shriek, and Gabe gathered her in an airtight hug.
Stevie, Zander, and I just stood there awkwardly. Not group-hugging. Not saying anything. Which was fine by me. I wouldn’t have known what to say if I’d wanted to.
“Chicago? That’s… awesome,” Zander said tentatively, checking for my reaction.
“Yeah. Totally,” I managed.
Stevie shrugged. “I guess. If we have to move, at least I’ll start out someplace where I already know people.”
“Yeah. Totally,” I said again. “Is it hot in here?” I clawed at my neckline, wishing Mom and Gabe would break it up already.
“Outside?” Stevie was at the door before I could blink.
“Yes, please.”
The three of us made our escape and settled onto the front stoop, Zander between us. Poetic.
Stevie was the first to speak. “So is this gonna be weird?”
“Dunno,” I admitted.
Zander didn’t say anything. Straight ahead, the sky was starting to dim. I wished I could see his face better. I wished I knew what he wanted. Who he wanted.
Stevie cocked her head toward me and brushed her hair out of her face. “Just so you know, I get that you’ve got your own thing going here. I’m not trying to wreck it.”
“I set you up,” I blurted to my feet. “At the aquarium.”
“It was a sucky thing to do. I’ll tell your dad. And for what it’s worth—”
“Yeah. I know.”
I couldn’t even look at Zander. I didn’t want to see even a trace of the disappointment, the anger I knew was waiting for me.
“I, uh, I’m gonna go check on my dad,” Stevie said suddenly. “See you guys back in there?”
“Yeah,” Zander and I said together.
With the careful click of the front door came a sudden rush of nerves. I didn’t know what to say or do, or where to look. So I just stared at my feet, waiting for the reality of the news to come crashing down.
“You set her up?” Zander’s tone was even.
“Yup.” It was almost freeing not to lie about it anymore. “And you can’t say anything about it that I haven’t already said to myself.”
“Stevie and I had this long talk last night.”
“Great.” I didn’t mean for my voice to sound so bitter.
“About you. Or at least, we talked more about divorce and stuff. And she just kept telling me how I wasn’t getting it. How I had no idea what you—anybody, I mean—would do to protect your family, and your life, and everything.”
I blinked. “It’s not just some excuse.”
“No, but it’s a reason. And it’s not the worst one in the world.”
A chill breeze swept down Clark Street, making the hem of my dress flutter. Everything in me wanted to scoot closer to Zander, to bury my face in his shoulder and have him tell me everything was going to be fine. But I settled for resting my palm on the cold, rough brick between us. And, luckily, he took it.
“No more pranks, or schemes, or anything. Seriously, Kace. I can’t take it.”
“I swear.” Warm calm settled over me. With my hand in Zander’s, I felt anchored. Safe.
Zander squeezed my hand in a gentle rhythm. I didn’t know if he was assuring me that we’d be okay and that Stevie wouldn’t come between us, or if he was just being there for me, being a friend in spite of everything I’d done. I didn’t care.
Just as long as he didn’t let go.
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