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FIFTY-NINE

Don’t Feed the Trolls

As you build your platform, you are going to attract critics. It is inevitable. In fact, if you aren’t attracting critics, you should be wondering why. Criticism is normal.

Why? Because if you have something important to say, you may upset the status quo and make people uncomfortable. Finley Peter Dunne once said about journalists, “Our job is to afflict the comfortable and comfort the afflicted.” As a blogger, that might even be part of your mission. Unfortunately, this almost always meets with resistance.

Let’s be honest: criticism hurts. At least it does for me. I’ve been in the public spotlight since my first book, The Millennium Bug,¹ hit the New York Times bestsellers list more than thirteen years ago. Writing three more books, becoming CEO and then chairman of a large publishing company, and launching a very public blog hasn’t helped make me any less of a target.

Theoretically, I know this is just the price I have to pay. But emotionally, it always knocks me off-kilter.

One of the things that has helped me in the past few years is to distinguish between three types of critics:

1. True Friends. Not all criticism is bad. Heaven forbid that we should turn a deaf ear to everyone who disagrees with us. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.”² Some people are in our lives to save us from ourselves. As a leader—and a blogger—the trick is to create an environment that is safe for dissension, so these people can speak up.

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2. Honest Critics. Some people decide they disagree with you and go public. They aren’t malicious. They aren’t out to destroy you. They simply disagree with you. That’s okay. We need to allow for a diversity of opinion. Besides, you might learn something from it. It enriches the conversation. You need to engage these people and refrain from making it personal. Not everyone has to agree with you.

3. Unhealthy Trolls. These people have an agenda. They are out to hurt you—or at least use you for their own ends. They want to lure you into a fight. They taunt and mock you. They are unreasonable. If you engage them, they will only distract you and deplete your resources.

The best thing you can do is ignore them. As someone once said, “Resistance only makes them stronger.” You will never satisfy them. Just keep doing what you know you are called to do. See chapter 54 for a more thorough discussion of how to deal with comments that are over the line of civility.

You must learn to distinguish between these three. I assume that everyone is a friend or an honest critic until he or she proves otherwise. I may be naive, but I would rather give people the benefit of the doubt than live a life of paranoia.