The average American eats 4.2 meals a week away from home. For people with celiac disease, however, dining out in a restaurant can be stressful, and even scary. According to a recent Columbia University study of the impact of the gluten-free diet on quality of life, a whopping 86 percent of the respondents with celiac disease said that eating in restaurants created difficulties. And a larger study by the University of Ottawa found that over half of the celiac families surveyed avoided restaurants all or most of the time.
Does this mean you are doomed never to eat out again?
Not at all!
If you take the right precautions, you can enjoy eating out without endangering your health. As more and more people get diagnosed with celiac disease, more and more restaurants are offering gluten-free menu options, and they’re also doing a better job of teaching their staff about the special requirements of G-free dieters. Every day, it becomes easier to dine out minus the fear of food.
Unfortunately, we still have a long way to go, and many restaurants are not that savvy when it comes to the G-free diet. Until the rest of the world catches on, you will need to master a few important rules before hitting the restaurant circuit. I have to warn you that the learning curve can be steep—for both you and the restaurants.
But the bottom line is that there is absolutely no reason to shut yourself into your kitchen for the rest of your life. With the right attitude and a little planning, you will not have to gamble with your body every time you walk into a restaurant.
Before diagnosing myself with celiac disease, in addition to my unbearably painful symptoms, I felt hungry all the time. I later found out that many undiagnosed celiacs relate to this experience. It makes perfect sense: After all, when you are not absorbing any nutrients, how can you ever expect to feel full?
In my case, I would go without eating for extended periods of time because I had such acute stomach pains. Then, when I did feel well enough to eat, I’d go absolutely crazy, wildly stuffing my face in the hopes of finally feeling full. Even eating an entire tub of peanut butter in one sitting did not give me the feeling of satiety I so desperately craved.
Still, I was determined to get there, and in the early stages of my self-diagnosis, soon after I got back from Australia, Tim and I went out to a diner outside Boston. At the time, I had just begun removing wheat from my diet—I didn’t yet know I couldn’t eat any gluten—and I still was in pain most waking hours. But I was also feeling optimistic about the possibility of finally figuring out what was wrong with my body.
Tim and I, still in the early stages of dating, slid into the booth, and I ordered a regular omelet. “No toast, please,” I added—and that was it. No details, no explanation, just “No toast, please.”
A few minutes later, my plate came out, with two buttery pieces of toast leaning right on top of the eggs. So what did I do? I burst into tears right there in the middle of the diner. So much for our breakfast date! Surprisingly, he asked me out again after that little meltdown—and has been a huge ally in my restaurant battles ever since!
I look back on this experience frequently, because it taught me several important lessons about navigating restaurants on the G-free diet.
One: Always take stock of where you are eating. I mean, really—have you ever heard of a diner that does not serve toast with every item on the menu?
Two: You have a responsibility to explain yourself, and make absolutely certain that you are heard and understood. While I thought I was getting a G-free meal, I was lazy when placing my order. How could I expect the waitress to read my mind and guess that my “No toast, please” request was the opposite of casual?
Three: If your waiter isn’t writing down your instructions, or is giving you any other indicator that your message isn’t getting through, you’re probably better off going hungry.
The final lesson: People have good hearts, and generally want to help you. Make sure you give them that opportunity by telling them exactly what you need, and why you need it.
I know, I know: You might feel a little embarrassed or uncomfortable at first, or just plain tired of explaining your condition a hundred times a day. But even if it sounds like a major hassle, I promise you a little advance preparation will pay off.
Call up the restaurant on the day you are planning to dine there, preferably in a slow hour between meal services. Talk to the hostess about your gluten allergy and discuss gluten-free items on the menu. If the restaurant seems unwilling to accommodate you—although I find this is rarely the case—you will probably get the hint on the phone. It’s much better to discover this resistance in advance, when you still have time to change your plans.
You can also get good insights from visiting the restaurant’s Web site. You can usually examine the menu online and determine the range of options available to you. The more research you do in advance, the more you will be able to relax and enjoy yourself in the moment. And wouldn’t you rather focus on joking with your kids, or catching up with a college roommate you have not seen in three years? That’s what I thought.
This is another better-safe-than-sorry technique that I highly recommend, especially on your first trip to any restaurant. Sometimes, servers might be new on the job and relatively inexperienced, or they might be juggling two dozen tables the moment you show up. It’s your job to make sure that the staff understands your gluten-free diet, and the best way to do that is to talk to the manager.
In my waitressing days, whenever a customer told me about a food allergy, I’d always call my manager over anyway, without being asked. I didn’t want to hurt anybody, and I knew that my manager was more experienced and better equipped to handle the situation. That’s still a good operating assumption. The vast majority of restaurant managers know all about celiac disease, and they also have more at stake than members of the waitstaff. Count on the manager to inform the kitchen of your special dietary needs.
Some more all-purpose advice, for the G-free and everyone else: You catch more bees with honey. If your order arrives messed up, don’t lose your cool. I know that the waitstaff’s just trying to do their job—and an incredibly difficult job at that (I know, I have been there). It’s not just that they’re working a million tables at the same time; it’s that they don’t actually have control over the food that’s coming out of the kitchen. Most waiters are eager to help, so treat them as allies, not enemies.
Language is important, and often, the phrases you choose will affect how seriously people take your requests. If you leave it at “I am not eating gluten right now,” then the waitress might not take careful notes on your order. Good luck getting a gluten-free meal. Remember my Boston diner story: Simply saying “No toast, please” is not nearly enough information.
If, on the other hand, you say, “I have celiac disease and cannot eat gluten,” or “I have a severe allergy to gluten,” chances are, the person taking your order will pay close attention. Phrases like “disease” and “severe allergy” are red flags in restaurant settings, and will most likely trigger the desired response. If you still feel like your waiter isn’t taking you seriously, don’t be afraid to amp up your language even more. “I will have to leave here in an ambulance if my food is touching anything with gluten” has been used in extreme circumstances.
Remember our golden rule: Plain over Pain. To ensure your meal won’t hurt you, use words like “naked” and “dry” when placing your order. If the steak you’re ordering normally comes with a butter sauce, you need to be very specific in asking for it dry. Say, for example, “I would like my steak naked. Just olive oil, salt and pepper, nothing else, please. It has to be made in a clean pan with nothing else in it.” Or: “Please do not put any bread on the same plate as my steak. I have celiac disease, so if bread touches any food that I eat, I will get incredibly sick on the spot.”
One trick that I find works really well: Tell your waiter exactly what your plate should look like. Say, “I would like a plate with just my hard-boiled eggs on it, nothing else.” Or if I am splitting my dinner with Grace, I will ask to have each separate component of the meal put on a separate plate. “Please put the chicken on one plate and that’s it,” I will say. “Please put the salad on another plate, and the mashed potatoes on a third plate—so that’s three plates total.” (I know… they must love me!!!!) Always leave a generous tip.
By requesting separate plates for each dish, you won’t have to worry about the gluten-containing mashed potatoes coming into contact with your gluten-free chicken.
Less than thrilled about that plain-and-dry slab of meat placed in front of you? Well, you can do what I often do: Bring your own seasoning! Before leaving home, prepare a small container of your favorite G-free ketchup or soy sauce or salad dressing. I often stash some Amy’s Honey Mustard in my purse, just because I want my meal to have a little zest.
Sometimes, I will bring more than just a little seasoning to a restaurant—I will bring my entire meal! It helps that I am the mother of young kids: Moms can get away with just about anything in restaurants, as far as I can tell. I can pretty much carry my own food into a restaurant, camouflage it as my kids’, then pretend I am “snacking” on it while actually eating the whole thing myself! No explanations, and no one ever blinks an eye.
Obviously, neither of these solutions is ideal: I hope that one day I will no longer have to pack up my own food when going out to eat. Who knows—maybe in twenty years, I will laugh when I remember all those nights that I took my honey mustard dressing along, prayed the Ziploc commercials were telling the truth and that my “sneaky flavor” wouldn’t explode in my favorite bag on the way to the restaurant. Until that time comes, you just have to get used to making these minor adjustments.
Same rule applies to restaurants as to social situations: You are the customer, and you are paying to enjoy yourself—try not to lose sight of that fact. If you are not bold enough to send your meal back if you suspect contamination, you will pay for your timidity in stomach cramps later. If your plate contains even a trace of gluten, never hesitate to send it back—and do not accept half-measures. Additionally, if you point out to your server that your meat is touching a piece of bread, sometimes someone trying to help will just toss the bread and send out the same contaminated plate a second time. Or if your salad is covered in croutons, some restaurants will just pick off the offending breadcrumbs and send out the exact same salad again.
Forewarned is forearmed! Mark the contaminated food so you will be sure to recognize it a second time. I suggest that you cut your meat in half; douse that salad with dressing and then send it back. Whether you carve your initials into a burger or throw a bottle of ketchup all over the salad prior to bidding it farewell, make certain that the food that comes back to you is new and uncontaminated. You should also ask for new utensils with the new plate of food.
Early on, you should familiarize yourself with common menu terms that translate to “gluten, gluten, gluten”! Be on the lookout for all these terms, most of which are no-nos in any language.
A word of warning here: When you order food in, you might be creating stomach problems for yourself. The restaurant’s level of accountability is much lower when the customer isn’t sitting right there, detailing how the meal should be prepared. Restaurants have much more of an incentive to get things right when you are on-site. Your order could easily be mixed up with someone else’s, or your specific instructions lost in translation over the phone. Rather than take these chances, I suggest keeping some G-free frozen options on hand for those nights when your family members feel like getting food delivered. Pop in your meal a few minutes after you place the order, and your meal will be ready at the same time the food reaches your door.
Over time, you will develop your own loyalties to restaurants in your area—staffs that go out of their way to accommodate you, or cuisines that naturally use very little gluten. In New York, I love Sambuca (www.sambucanyc.com), because it has a separate gluten-free kitchen. Their chocolate brownie is the best! I am also a huge fan of Slice (www.sliceperfect.com), a pizza place that caters to all different diets: They have G-free, wheat-free, and regular pizza—all prepared in separate dedicated ovens. I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to bite into a delicious slice of pizza and know that I won’t be sick the next day! And I can’t forget Babycakes NYC (www.babycakesnyc.com)… The best of G-free and sweet as can be! GROM in New York City also makes delicious (and frequently G-free) Italian gelatos. Check the Web site for details.
In addition to your own local favorites, you can rely on a number of national chains for safe, delicious, G-free meals out. There’s nothing like washing up in a new city and knowing that you will be able to get a good meal! Many of these restaurants even offer downloadable gluten-free menus that you can study (or memorize!) in advance: