INDEX
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Abuse. See also Aggression; Physical abuse; Verbal aggression
awareness and, 44
change in relationships and, 20
denial of rewards step and, 174–180
development of, 159–168
needs and, 56
resources regarding, 238–239
safety and, 2
Abusive words, 56
Accommodating the anger, 9–10, 82–83
Achievement need, 53, 56. See also Needs
“Action-reaction” dance, 23–24. See also Cycle of anger; Responding to anger
Actions. See also Actions when your partner expresses anger
denial of rewards step and, 87–91
expressing yourself effectively step, 92–104
getting trapped in our thoughts and, 66–67
hostility and, 120–121
passive anger and, 187–189
self-talk and, 74–81
setbacks and, 230–231
setting and enforcing boundaries and, 83–85
Actions when your partner expresses anger. See also Actions
awareness and, 44
beliefs and, 71–72
daily log of, 45–46
hostility and, 120–121
Active listening
overview, 99–100, 101
resistance from your partner and, 218–219
Additional reading, resources for. See Resources
Affirmation, 51–53, 56. See also Needs
Aggressing response to anger, 29–30, 37–40
Aggression. See also Domestic violence; Physical abuse; Threats; Verbal aggression; Violence
angry response to anger and, 39–40
awareness and, 44
categories of, 157–159
change in relationships and, 20
compared to hostility, 110
overview, 12, 110
resistance from your partner and, 26–27
what to do during a crisis or imminent danger, 41
Aggressive gestures, 44
Alcohol use
anger arousal and, 97
hostility and, 128
resources regarding, 241–242
violence and, 167
All-or-nothing thinking, 77–78. See also Cognitive distortions
Angry response to anger. See also Cycle of anger
awareness and, 44
denial of rewards step and, 90–91
getting your needs met and, 55
overview, 9–10, 37–40, 90–91
passive anger and, 193–194
verbal aggression and, 142–143
Antisocial personality disorder, 34
aggression and, 158
hostility and, 128
violence and, 167
Anxiety
awareness and, 44
hostility and, 120
overview, 30–34
passive anger and, 191–192
verbal aggression and, 143
Anxiety disorders, 128
Apologizing/atoning response to anger
denial of rewards step and, 89–90
guilt and, 36–37
overview, 36–37, 89–90
Relationship Anger Profile (RAP) questionnaire and, 29–30
Appeasing your angry partner, 36–37. See also Apologizing/atoning response to anger
Arousal level of your partner
aggression and, 158
awareness of, 94–97
preparation for communication and, 94–97
signs of, 95
Assertiveness
hostility and, 124–127
overview, 22
verbal aggression and, 150–153
Assessing your relationship step towards a new communication style
hostility and, 113–116, 119–121
overview, 18, 24–30
passive anger and, 187–189
Relationship Anger Profile (RAP) questionnaire and, 25, 26–28, 29–30
verbal aggression and, 142–144
violence and, 169–170
Attention, withholding, 187
Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), 128
Avoidance
anxiety and, 32–33
needs and, 56
Avoiding triggering anger in others, 2–3, 44
Awareness
hostility and, 119–121
overview, 42–46
passive anger and, 187–189, 195–198
preparation for communication and, 94
responding to anger and, 48
verbal aggression and, 142–144
violence and, 169–170
B
Behavior. See Actions
Behavioral rehearsal, 104
“Being present,” 42–46. See also Awareness
Beliefs. See also Cognitions
challenging, 67–68
cognitive distortions that reinforce, 75–79
cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and, 67–69
examples of, 70–71, 150
identifying, 69–74
overview, 67–68
passive anger and, 198–202
setting and enforcing boundaries and, 83–85
verbal aggression and, 150
violence and, 171–174
Beliefs Checklist, 122
Bipolar disorder
hostility and, 128
violence and, 167
Blame shifting, 220
Blaming, 55, 189
Blaming roadblock, 219–221
Blood chemistry changes, 31
Blood pressure, 31
Body position/movements
active listening and, 101
as a sign of anger arousal, 95, 136
Borderline
aggression and, 158
hostility and, 128
violence and, 167
Boundaries
achievement needs and, 53
affirmation needs and, 51–53
awareness and, 42–43
being specific regarding, 56–57
change in relationships and, 21–22
cognitive distortions and, 122–124
communicating to your partner, 86–87
control needs and, 54
example of, 83
expressing yourself effectively step, 92–104
getting your needs met and, 54–61
hostility and, 121–122, 122–124, 125
informing your partner of, 58–59
learning new patterns of relating and, 18–19
needs and, 49–61
overview, 18–19, 49–54, 55
passive anger and, 186, 194, 195–198, 202–205
resistance from your partner and, 209–227
for specific complaints, 83–84
verbal aggression and, 144–147
violation of, 59–61, 86–87
violence and, 170, 176, 178
“Boy Code,” 218
“Broken record” approach
overview, 102–103
resistance from your partner and, 214, 221, 224
verbal aggression and, 151
violence and, 178
C
Calm clarifying, 100
Catastrophizing. See also Cognitive distortions
hostility and, 123
overview, 78
CBT. See Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 145
Change in relationships
nature of, 16–17
overview, 21–22
resistance from your partner and, 209–227
setbacks and, 227–234
Changes in your partner
resistance from your partner and, 209–227
setbacks and, 227–234
Changes you can make
accommodating the anger and, 9–10
learning new patterns of relating, 17–20
needs and boundaries and, 59–61
overview, 21–22
passive anger and, 190–205
resistance from your partner and, 209–227
setbacks and, 227–234
that might impact the relationship, 9–10
thoughts and, 62
Changing your cognitions step, 19. See also Cognitions
Childhood experiences affirmation needs and, 51
getting your needs met and, 55
passive anger and, 188–189
Codependency, 18–19. See also Boundaries
Cognitions. See also Beliefs; Cognitive distortions; Thinking patterns cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and, 67–69
getting trapped in our thoughts, 66–67
hostility and, 120, 122–124
overview, 19, 64–66
passive anger and, 198–202
self-talk and, 74–81
verbal aggression and, 147–150
violence and, 171–174
Cognitive distortions. See also Cognitions; Self-talk
challenging, 67–69
characteristics of, 79–81
cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)
and, 67–69
examples of, 76–79
hostility and, 122–124
overview, 67, 74–81
setting and enforcing boundaries and, 84–85
that reinforce unhelpful beliefs, 75–79
types of, 75–79
unrealistic expectations, 114
verbal aggression and, 147–150
violence and, 171–174
Cognitive rehearsal, 103–104
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)
overview, 19, 67–69
rehearsal and, 104
Cold anger. See also Passive anger
overview, 12, 185
resistance from your partner and, 223–224
Communication. See also “I” message
being specific regarding boundaries and, 56–57
denial of rewards step and, 87–91
expressing yourself effectively step, 20, 92–104
getting your needs met and, 54–61
hostility and, 125
informing your partner of boundaries, 58–59
preparation for, 93–97
regarding new boundaries, 86–87
rehearsing, 103–104
resistance from your partner and, 218–219
resources regarding, 242
Contempt. See also Verbal aggression
development of violence and, 166
needs and, 56
overview, 137–140
Content of statements, 95
Content-to-process shift, 100, 102–103
Control in relationships
change in relationships and, 16–17, 21
uncertainty and, 51
Control needs. See also Needs
boundaries and, 54
overview, 54
partner behaviors and, 56
passive anger and, 191–192
violence and, 168
Counseling, 180–181
Counterbeliefs, 199–202. See also Beliefs; Rebuttals
Covering up feelings, 189
Criticism. See also Verbal aggression
impact of, 132–133
needs and, 56
Cycle of anger, 9–10. See also Responding to anger
change in relationships and, 21–22
expressions of anger and, 12–13
getting your needs met and, 54–61
learning new patterns of relating, 17–20
overview, 23–24
passive anger and, 186
setbacks and, 228
D
Daily Log
complete, 236
example of, 83
hostility and, 117–118, 119
needs and boundaries and, 57–58
overview, 45–46
passive anger and, 195–196, 200, 201
verbal aggression and, 144
violence and, 169, 171–174, 174
Damages done by anger, 8–10
Defusing provocation, 100, 102–103
Delusions, 167
Denial
getting your needs met and, 55
passive anger and, 189
resistance from your partner and, 214–215, 222–223, 226
Denial of rewards step
hostility and, 124–127
overview, 19–20, 87–91
passive anger and, 202–205
verbal aggression and, 150–153
violence and, 174–180
Depression
hostility and, 128
resistance from your partner and, 215–216
resources regarding, 239
Destruction of items, 40
Diary keeping, 45–46, 57–58. See also Daily log
Discouraging remarks, 56
Distorted cognitions. See Cognitive distortions
Domestic violence. See also Aggression; Physical abuse; Threats
angry response to anger and, 39–40
awareness and, 44
safety and, 2
what to do during a crisis or imminent danger, 41
Drug use. See also Substance use
hostility and, 128
resources regarding, 241–242
violence and, 167
E
Editing response to anger anxiety and, 33
denial of rewards step and, 88
hostility and, 120–121
overview, 88
Relationship Anger Profile (RAP) questionnaire and, 29–30
Effects of anger on your life, 8–10
Emotions. See also Feelings when your partner expresses anger
getting trapped in our thoughts and, 66–67
hostility and, 120
passive anger and, 189
resistance from your partner and, 218–219
setbacks and, 228
Encouraging your partner to get help, 128–129
Evaluations, 74–75. See also Self-talk
Excuses for anger. See also Justifying anger in others
examples of, 8–9
hostility and, 116
justifying anger in others, 2–3
violence and, 618
Expectations, expressing. See also Expressing yourself effectively step
passive anger and, 194, 202–205
violence and, 174–180
Expectations, unrealistic, 109–113, 114–116
Explaining anger in others, 2–3
Expressing yourself effectively step. See also Expectations, expressing
hostility and, 124–127
overview, 20, 92–104
passive anger and, 194, 202–205
verbal aggression and, 150–153
violence and, 174–180
Expressions of anger, 10–12
Expressive aggression, 157–158. See also Aggression
Extinction burst, 212
Eye contact, 44
F
Faces of anger
awareness and, 44
defusing provocation and, 100, 102–103
overview, 10–12
Facial expressions
active listening and, 101
awareness and, 44
as a sign of anger arousal, 95, 136
Fear
awareness and, 44
getting your needs met and, 55
overview, 40–41
verbal aggression and, 143
Feelings when your partner expresses anger. See also Angry response to anger; Emotions
anger, 37–40
anxiety, 30–34
anxiety and, 44, 120, 143, 191–192
awareness and, 44
daily log of, 45–46
examining, 42
fear, 40–41
fear and, 44, 55, 143
goals of, 44
guilt, 34–37
guilt and, 44, 143
identifying, 24–30
Relationship Anger Profile (RAP) questionnaire and, 25, 26–28, 29–30
self-awareness and, 42–46
“Fight-or-flight” response. See also Anxiety
awareness and, 44
control needs and, 54
overview, 32
Follow-through problems, 187
Forgetful behaviors, 187
Forgiveness, 2–3
Free-floating hostility, 112–113
G
Gastrointestinal (GI) responses
hostility and, 128
responding to anger and, 31
Generalized anxiety disorder, 128
Gestures, aggressive
awareness and, 44
development of violence and, 161–162, 166
GI responses
hostility and, 128
responding to anger and, 31
Guilt
awareness and, 44
overview, 34–37
verbal aggression and, 143
H
Health issues
hostility and, 127–128
resistance from your partner and, 215–216
Heart rate, 31
Histrionic personality disorder, 167
Hitting. See Aggression; Violence
Hostility. See also Hostility/criticism response to anger
actions and, 120–121
awareness and, 44, 113–116
boundaries and, 121–122
challenges and solutions regarding, 117–122
change in relationships and, 20
cognitions and, 122–124
compared to aggression, 110
denial of rewards step and, 124–127
development of violence and, 166
expressing yourself effectively step, 124–127
living with, 127–130
overview, 12, 109–113
verbal aggression and, 143
Hostility/criticism response to anger. See also Hostility
angry response to anger and, 38–39
denial of rewards step and, 90–91
overview, 90–91
Relationship Anger Profile (RAP)
questionnaire and, 29–30
verbal aggression and, 143
Humor, anger masked as, 134–137. See also Sarcasm; Verbal aggression
Hunger, 97
anxiety and, 32
hostility and, 115
overview, 115
I
“I” message. See also Communication
active listening and, 99–100, 101
defusing provocation and, 100, 102–103
hostility and, 125
overview, 22, 97–103
passive anger and, 193, 194, 202–203, 205
violence and, 170, 175–176, 177
Illness
anger arousal and, 97
resistance from your partner and, 215–216
Impact of anger, 12–17
Incompetence excuse roadblock, 218–219
Indirect anger. See Passive anger
Inner comments, 74. See also Self-talk
Instrumental aggression, 157–159. See also Aggression
Insults, 137–140. See also Contempt; Verbal aggression
Interrupting behavior, 44
Intimacy, withholding. See also Passive anger; Withdrawal
affirmation needs and, 51
needs and, 56
overview, 185
passive anger and, 187
Intimidation, 161–162
J
Journalling. See Daily log
Justifying anger in others. See also Excuses for anger
angry response to anger and, 37–38
denial of rewards step and, 90–91
hostility and, 120
overview, 2–3, 90–91
problems with, 9–10
Relationship Anger Profile (RAP) questionnaire and, 29–30
K
Kicking. See Aggression; Violence
L
Lateness, 187–188
Leaving, needs and, 56
Legitimacy, as an excuse or rationalization, 35
Limit setting, 21–22. See also Boundaries
Listening skills
active listening, 99–100, 101, 218–219
expressing yourself effectively step and, 92–93
resistance from your partner and, 218–219
Log, daily. See Daily log
Loudness, 44
M
Medical issues
hostility and, 127–128
resistance from your partner and, 215–216
Medicalizing roadblock, 215–216
Mental disorders, 167
Minimizing
examples of, 171
hostility and, 122
overview, 75–76
resistance from your partner and, 220, 226
violence and, 171
Mirroring, 100
Mood factors, 239. See also Depression
Musculoskeletal responses, 31
N
Name-calling. See also Verbal aggression
boundaries and, 144–147
development of violence and, 166
overview, 132–133
Narcissism
aggression and, 158
hostility and, 128
violence and, 167
National Coalition against Domestic Violence (NCADV), 145
Needs. See also Achievement need; Affirmation; Control needs; Safety; Security
boundaries and, 49–61
getting your needs met and, 54–61
“I” message and, 98–99
resistance from your partner and, 227
Negative labeling. See also Verbal aggression
boundaries and, 144–147
overview, 140–141
O
Outbursts, 56
Overgeneralizing roadblock, 214–215
P
Pain
hostility and, 127–128
resistance from your partner and, 215–216
Paranoia, 167
Paranoid personality disorder, 167
Paraphrasing, active listening and, 101
Passive anger
assessment/awareness and, 187–190
awareness and, 195–198
boundaries and, 195–198
challenges and solutions regarding, 190–205
denial of rewards step and, 202–205
expressing yourself effectively step, 202–205
litmus test for, 187–189
overview, 12, 181–182, 183–190
resistance from your partner and, 223–224
resources regarding, 238
self-talk and, 198–202
thoughts and beliefs and, 198–202
types of, 184–187
Passive-aggression/withdrawal response to anger
angry response to anger and, 38
awareness and, 44
denial of rewards step and, 90–91
overview, 90–91
Relationship Anger Profile (RAP) questionnaire and, 29–30
Passive-aggressive anger, 12, 183–190. See also Passive anger
Patterns in anger. See Cycle of anger
Personal control. See Control needs
Personal needs. See Needs
Personality, as an excuse or rationalization, 35
Personality disorders, 167
Physical abuse. See also Abuse; Aggression; Domestic violence; Threats; Violence
denial of rewards step and, 174–180
development of, 159–168
overview, 155–157
resources regarding, 238–239
Physical closeness, 44
Physical reactions to anger. See also Anxiety
angry response to anger and, 39–40
control needs and, 54
overview, 30–34
Polarized thinking, 77–78. See also Cognitive distortions
Polyphasic behavior, 112
Power
aggression and, 157–159
violence and, 168
Practicing communications, 103–104, 229–231
Praise, 205
Praise, withholding, 187
Predictability. See also Security; Uncertainty
hostility and, 114–115
overview, 115
passive anger and, 191–192
security and, 50–51
Preparation to communicate, 93–97
Professional help, 180–181
Provocation, 100, 102–103
Psychologizing, 220–221
Psychopathy, 167
Punching. See Aggression; Violence
Pushing. See Aggression; Violence
Put-downs. See also Sarcasm; Verbal aggression
boundaries and, 144–147
needs and, 56
overview, 134–137
resistance from your partner and, 223
R
Rage. See also Angry response to anger
needs and, 56
overview, 142
Rational beliefs. See also Beliefs
examples of, 70–71
hostility and, 122–124
identifying and using to substitute for unhelpful beliefs, 73–74
Rationalizations regarding anger in others. See also Excuses for anger; Justifying anger in others
awareness and, 44
denial of rewards step and, 89
example of, 82–83
guilt and, 35–36
hostility and, 120
overview, 9, 35–36, 89
Relationship Anger Profile (RAP) questionnaire and, 29–30
Rationalizing. See also Cognitive distortions
examples of, 171, 173
overview, 76
verbal aggression and, 147–148
violence and, 171, 173
Reactivity, 45–46
Reasoning with others, 2–3
Rebuttals. See also Cognitive distortions
examples of, 76–79, 148–150
overview, 75
passive anger and, 199–202
verbal aggression and, 148–150
violence and, 171–174
Redirecting/rescheduling response to anger
anxiety and, 33–34
denial of rewards step and, 89
hostility and, 120–121
overview, 89
Relationship Anger Profile (RAP) questionnaire and, 29–30
Reflecting back feelings, 101
Regression, 231–233
Rehearsing techniques and communication, 103–104, 229–231
Relationship Anger Profile (RAP) questionnaire
complete, 26–29
example of, 82–83
hostility and, 119–121
overview, 25–30
passive anger and, 195–196
responding to anger and, 48
verbal aggression and, 142–143, 144
violence and, 169
Repression, 189
Resentment, 185–186
Resistance from your partner
overview, 209–227
types of, 213–227
Resources, 237–244
associations and organizations, 243–244
communication, 242
depression or mood factors, 239
learning about anger in general, 237–238
passive anger, 238
sleep deprivation, 240–241
stress, 240
substance use, 241–242
verbal and physical abuse, 238–239
when you are in danger, 239
Resources, withholding, 56
Respiration, 31
Responding to anger. See also Cycle of anger; Feelings when your partner expresses anger; Retaliation with anger
accommodating the anger, 9–10
with anger, 37–40
anxiety and, 30–34
awareness of, 48
change in relationships and, 16–17
denial of rewards step and, 87–91
direct approach to, 13–15
with fear, 40–41
feelings when your partner expresses anger, 24–30
guilt and, 34–37
learning new patterns of, 17–20
needs and boundaries and, 54–61
options you have for, 15–16
overview, 87–91
patterns of, 23–24
Relationship Anger Profile (RAP) questionnaire and, 25, 26–28, 29–30
retaliating with anger, 9–10
setting and enforcing boundaries and, 86–87
Responsibility for anger
aggression and, 158
overview, 2–3
problems with assuming, 9–10
Retaliation with anger. See also Cycle of anger
awareness and, 44
denial of rewards step and, 90–91
getting your needs met and, 55
overview, 9–10, 37–40, 90–91
passive anger and, 193–194
verbal aggression and, 142–143
Rewards, denial of. See Denial of rewards step
Risk factors for violence, 167–168. See also Violence
Roadblocks to change, 213–227
S
Safety. See also Needs
boundaries and, 49
partner behaviors and, 56
planning and, 176–177
resistance from your partner and, 26–27
resources regarding, 239
violence and, 156
what to do during a crisis or
imminent danger, 26–27, 41, 175, 239
Sarcasm. See also Verbal aggression
awareness and, 44
boundaries and, 144–147
change in relationships and, 20
development of violence and, 166
overview, 12, 131–132, 134–137
Schizophrenia, 167
Security. See also Needs
boundaries and, 50–51
overview, 50–51
partner behaviors and, 56
Self-awareness. See Awareness
Self-deprecating. See also Cognitive distortions
examples of, 173–174
hostility and, 122
overview, 78–79
passive anger and, 198–202
verbal aggression and, 149–150
violence and, 173–174
Self-esteem, getting your needs met and, 55
Self-instructions, 75. See also Self-talk
Self-talk. See also Thinking patterns
assertiveness and, 126
categories of, 74–75
challenging, 67–69
changing your cognitions step towards a new communication style and, 19
characteristics of cognitive distortions and, 79–81
cognitive distortions and, 67
cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and, 67–69
effects of, 65–66
examples of, 70–71, 150
getting trapped in our thoughts and, 67
hostility and, 120, 126
identifying, 69–74
overview, 74–81
passive anger and, 198–202
setbacks and, 231–233
setting and enforcing boundaries and, 84–85
verbal aggression and, 149, 150
violence and, 171–174
Sensory acuteness, 31
Setbacks
overview, 227–234
reasons for, 229–234
regression, 231–233
Setting new boundaries step towards a new communication style, 18–19. See also Boundaries
Shutting down response to anger
denial of rewards step and, 91
fear and, 41
overview, 91
Relationship Anger Profile (RAP) questionnaire and, 29–30
Sickness
anger arousal and, 97
resistance from your partner and, 215–216
Silence
awareness and, 44
hostility and, 123
Skin temperature, 31
Slapping. See Aggression; Violence
Sleep
anger arousal and, 96
resources regarding, 240–241
Stability, as an excuse or rationalization, 35
Stalling, 187
Stomach problems
hostility and, 128
responding to anger and, 31
Stonewalling roadblock, 222–224
“STOP” technique
hostility and, 125, 126–127
overview, 103
resistance from your partner and, 221
verbal aggression and, 151
violence and, 178
Stress
anger arousal and, 96–97
control needs and, 54
as an excuse or rationalization, 35
resistance from your partner and, 216–217
resources regarding, 240
uncertainty and, 50–51
violence and, 167
Stress excuse roadblock, 216–217
Subjugating/surrendering response to anger
denial of rewards step and, 91
fear and, 41
overview, 91
Relationship Anger Profile (RAP) questionnaire and, 29–30
Substance use
anger arousal and, 97
hostility and, 128
resources regarding, 241–242
violence and, 167
Summarizing, active listening and, 101
Support, withholding, 56
Sustenance, 97
T
Teasing, 132–133. See also Sarcasm; Verbal aggression
Thinking patterns. See also Cognitions; Self-talk; Thoughts when your partner expresses anger
challenging, 67–69
cognitions, 64–66
cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and, 67–69
getting trapped in our thoughts, 66–67
hostility and, 120
passive anger and, 198–202
self-talk and, 74–81
setting and enforcing boundaries and, 84–85
Thoughts, distorted. See Cognitive distortions
Thoughts when your partner expresses
anger. See also Cognitions; Thinking patterns
awareness and, 44
daily log of, 45–46
hostility and, 120
needs and boundaries and, 62
Threats. See also Aggression; Physical abuse; Violence
development of violence and, 160–161, 166
needs and, 56
resistance from your partner and, 225–226
Time impatience, 112
Tone of voice
active listening and, 101
awareness and, 44
as a sign of anger arousal, 95, 136
Touching, unwanted. See also Physical abuse; Violence
awareness and, 44
development of violence and, 162–163, 166
overview, 155–157
Triggers for anger, avoiding, 2–3
Tunnel vision. See also Cognitive distortions
examples of, 173
hostility and, 123
overview, 77
verbal aggression and, 148–149
violence and, 173
“Type A” personality, 112–113
Types of anger, 10–12
U
Uncertainty. See also Predictability
needs and, 56
overview, 50–51
Undermining roadblock, 213–214
Unhelpful beliefs, 70–73. See also Beliefs
Unrealistic expectations, 109–113, 114–116. See also Expectations, expressing
V
Vascular changes, 31
Verbal aggression. See also Sarcasm
assessment/awareness and, 142–144
awareness and, 44
boundaries and, 144–147
change in relationships and, 20
cognitions and, 147–150
eliminating, 141–153
forms of, 133–141
impact of, 132–133
overview, 131–132, 153–154
resources regarding, 238–239
Versions of anger, 10–12
Violence. See also Aggression; Domestic violence; Physical abuse; Threats
angry response to anger and, 39–40
assessment/awareness and, 165–168, 169–170
awareness and, 44
beliefs and, 171–174
boundaries and, 170
challenges and solutions regarding, 168–180
denial of rewards step and, 174–180
development of, 159–168
gestures that intimidate and, 161–162
overview, 155–157
resistance from your partner and, 26–27
resources regarding, 238–239
risk factors for, 167–168
safety and, 2
seeking professional help, 180–181
threats of, 160–161
unwanted touching and, 162–163
what to do during a crisis or imminent danger, 41
Voice characteristics
active listening and, 101
awareness and, 44
as a sign of anger arousal, 95, 136
W
Weapons, 168
Websites. See also Resources
anger in general, 238
associations and organizations, 243–244
communication, 242
depression or mood factors, 239
sleep deprivation, 241
stress, 240
substance use, 242
verbal and physical abuse, 238–239
Withdrawal. See also Intimacy, withholding; Passive anger
affirmation needs and, 51
awareness and, 44
overview, 185
resistance from your partner and, 223–224
Withholding intimacy. See Intimacy, withholding