“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.” – Kahlil Gibran
You will notice that I have not provided any advice about how to raise children who are beyond the toddler stage. While I do have advice on that subject, I reserve it for another time. The foregoing words should give you enough to worry about.
Being a parent is a stressful job, but it is not something beyond your skill set. Humanity has walked the Earth for many thousands of years, and most children turn out well.
Your modern society puts pressures on children to succeed in school and to learn skills to make a living in the information economy. Such skills are important and are not to be ignored.
But, be sure they learn the basic skills of survival. Teach them to cook, to camp, to hunt. Teach them that life is more than just success on tests or gaining praise from a teacher.
Life is about beauty and joy. It is about art, literature, and dance.
Keep the big picture in mind.
Love your child.
You can do this.
The End
Would you do me a favor and leave a review of this book where you bought it? I can assure you that reviews please Satan.
––––––––
If you enjoyed this book, you might want to read Satan’s Advice to Young Lawyers.
––––––––
Don’t forget to stop by the blog at satansadvice.tumblr.com to get even more advice from the Prince of Darkness.
[1] I realize that many societies no longer frown on out-of-wedlock births. I am not against them per se, but I am against people (mainly men) ignoring their duty to raise the children they have created. For many men, especially younger men, the yoke of marriage is what is needed to hold them to their duty. If, however, they can honor this duty without marriage, then, I suppose, marriage becomes superfluous.
[2] I do not doubt that adoptive parents can love their children unconditionally. However, there is something sui generis about going through the birth process that I believe simply cannot be replicated.
[3] But, if a poo smear resembles Jesus, be sure to call the news outlets, as they love running stories about things like that. (Confidentially, just between you and me, the extant depictions of Jesus look nothing like the man.)
[4] These two categories of mindset were popularized by a Stanford psychologist named Carol Dweck. Though, we demi-gods have observed them for millennia, we never bothered to reveal them to you. (As a side note, I find the term “mindset” utterly offensive. It implies stagnation and a lack of plasticity. It undermines the very free will given to humans by their creator. It turns humans into automatons. But, I suppose we are stuck with that term, for now, as a shorthand.)