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“Fine” Is Apparently Not a Good Way to Describe My Sex Life

I’m backstage at a TEDx conference at Kripalu Institute for Yoga and Health in Stockbridge, Massachusetts. In a few minutes, I’ll be standing in that red circle, telling a story and talking about Homework for Life.

As I review my story in my head, Dr. Ruth Westheimer appears. She’s following me onstage.

“Hello, Dr. Ruth,” I say. I introduce myself. I tell her how honored I am to share a stage with her. I tell her that my wife would love to meet her if there’s time at the end of the conference.

“Tell me about your sex life,” she says.

I shouldn’t be surprised by this request, but I am. I stutter for a moment before saying, “It’s fine.”

She shakes her head. “Fine is not good.” Then she offers me five tips for improving my sex life with my wife. I diligently write them down.

After I’m done speaking, I meet my wife in the lobby. “Dr. Ruth gave me some tips for our sex life,” I say, perhaps a little too excitedly.

“Why did you ask Dr. Ruth for advice on our sex life?” Elysha asks. She sounds annoyed. She’s clearly not as excited about this as I am.