“Are you thinking what I am thinking?” Dorothy asked as she pulled the car away from Earl Grey’s home.
“That you want to put the Engleburger Humperdinck CD on the radio again?”
“No,” she replied, although she never admitted that the thought had crossed her mind. “I was thinking about what the neighbour saw. Lots of white at Earl Grey’s door. Could be a long beard you know. And we found the syringe in the office. Wortel. It’s all pointing towards Nicholas Claus, you know that don’t you?”
Wortel did know that. And he had no good response so left the question hanging in the air like a bad smell. The kind you get when cauliflower has been stewed. Or just cooked actually.
**********
Arriving back at the office they found Oranges and Lemons still absent. Neither Wortel nor Dorothy was complaining.
“Look. I’m going to call Nicholas Claus,” Wortel said. “You check the CCTV.”
Wortel closed the main door to the office so they would not be disturbed and settled himself at his desk for what was not going to be an easy conversation. Dorothy found the CCTV footage on her emails, slipped off her shoes, swung her legs up onto her desk and clicked play.
“Ho, Ho, Hullo,” boomed the jolly voice of Nicholas Claus.
“Sir, hello, its Detective Inspector Wortel here.”
“Wortel, good timing. I have just been briefed by Claudette and I have some news I need to share with you urgently.”
“That’s good,” replied Wortel, steadying himself for what he was about to say. “Can I just ask a couple of questions first please?”
“Where were you last night?”
Wortel sensed the change in the tone of Nicholas Claus voice. “I was at home with Mrs Claus trying to sober up Rudolph. What on earth makes you ask?”
Ignoring the question Wortel continued. “And sir, what’s the purpose of the syringe you carry about with you. You know, the one in the case which you left at my office in error.”
“Ah, now I can see what you are getting at Wortel. You wonder if I have anything to do with this affair. You are right, I did leave the case in error, but please do have it checked out. You’ll see that it is insulin. I am a diabetic Wortel, which shouldn’t come as that much of a surprise. Look at the size of me and think about what I have to eat when I do my yearly rounds. Cakes everywhere. Does anybody ever leave me a nice piece of fruit or a salad? No, it’s cakes, cakes and more cakes. Ho, Ho, Ho.”
As Wortel considered what he was hearing, Dorothy had come across the section of the CCTV which Oranges and Lemons had found interesting. Jumping up from her desk, she waved at Wortel to get his attention.
“Boss, get me on speakerphone quickly.”
“Er, Mr Claus, sorry to do this but I need to put you on speakerphone. My sergeant Dorothy Knox has something she needs to share.”
“Go ahead.”
Wortel pressed the telephone button and signalled to Dorothy to speak.
“Hello Mr Claus. We have some interesting CCTV footage. You’ll know that the speed cameras have been reduced to 15mph what with the mobility scooter drag racing.”
“Ah yes,” said Nicholas Claus. “Makes getting to Widdle for my undercover work quite the challenge.”
“Quite. Well, we have CCTV footage from outside of Goodeatery on the day of the murder. There are three people who have set off the speed cameras because they were running at over 20 mph.”
Wortel’s eyes widened. “Who can run that fast?”
It was Nicholas Claus that answered.
“Turkeys. It was Tarquinius Gallopava wasn’t it Dorothy?”
Dorothy looked at Wortel with a stunned look on her face. How did he know?
“Yes. The flash of the camera lit them up wonderfully. Well, it lit him up, the other two it was difficult to say. One has a sombrero and, Wortel, get this; the other had his castanets above his head.”
“I bet that hurt,” said Wortel, pulling a face at Dorothy who did her best not to burst out laughing.
Nicholas Claus continued oblivious to the innuendo happening at the other end of the phone. “I know who they are. They are his turkey henchmen. They do the dirty work. And Wortel, the drug that Dr Richards found, serotonin. That is a natural mind-altering substance found in turkeys that causes contentment and sleepiness. We’ve suspected Tarquinius was up to something as we knew he and Earl Grey had links, but we never knew what the connection was. I sent Mitchell to investigate Earl Grey and it seems he stumbled onto something much bigger. When Dr Richards identified serotonin it fell into place. Tarquinius must be selling serotonin to Earl Grey who has spiced it up and given it to his friends. That will explain why we have drummers drumming, lords a-leaping…”
“Got that bit sir,” said Wortel quickly before the whole thing started once more.
“Jolly good. I will hazard a guess that Earl Grey has not paid on his debts which is why he did a moonlight flit.”
“That makes sense,” Wortel agreed. “We’ll get a call out for his arrest immediately.”
“Not enough evidence Wortel,” said Nicholas Claus. “We need more proof. Look, I’ve some calls I need to make. Keep me informed.”
Dorothy looked at Wortel a concerned look on her face. “Boss, I think there is something else at play here.”
“What’s that Dorothy?”
“The referendum. I think he must have drugged the Minister for DAFaRT into agreeing to it. Do you remember he said on NewsFoodNight that he had a bruised arm.”
“My God, Dorothy you’re right. This whole affair is a sham. And to think, the population of this great country will be eating nut cutlets if we don’t act fast.”
“What do we do next?” she asked.
Wortel smiled at Dorothy. “I just so happen to be cooking up a plan.”