Tarquinius Gallopava and his men were removed from the freezer by agents from MI GasMark5, when after defrosting, they were interrogated. Due to the Food Sapiens Intelligence Agency Bill the whereabouts of Tarquinius and his men cannot be disclosed although it is suspected that they ended up in Iceland.
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Following the exposure of Tarquinius as an evil genius, the referendum result was quashed and the traditional turkey dinner was saved. Vegetarians, who believed this was the breakthrough moment their food regime needed, threw their arms up in despair and consoled themselves with a lettuce leaf.
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Nicholas Claus, Rudolph and the other reindeers delivered all of the Christmas presents in a record time. Nicholas Claus did however suffer a hypoglycaemic attack on the delivery due to the number of mince pies, cakes and other sweet dishes he sampled.
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Rudolph has been dry for the past thirty days.
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Nicholas Claus was sufficiently impressed with the Food Related Crime team that he agreed to cut them into all relevant future cases. The cases were likely to occur when sufficient Christmas cracker jokes have been read and incorporated into a future adventure.
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Sir Rupert Irksome has not yet returned from Coventry.
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Snow White was released from hospital and is on the road to recovery. The same cannot be said for Scottie Rodgers who continues to receive daily physiotherapy although he hopes to be released in time for a cameo in any future Food Related Crime short story.
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The six dwarf cabbages involved in the road traffic accident recovered from their bruising, although the bad odour which follows them persists. Sleepy attended Widow Twanky’s driving school where he was found to suffer from narcolepsy. Grumpy is attending anger management classes and Sneezy is receiving treatment for acute allergies. Happy is off his face on poppers.
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With thanks to Mrs Archibald the pigs in blankets have been kept warm and there are no reported cases of pneumonia. The pigs in blankets were able to go undercover in the Arctic Circle where it has been discovered that chilli peppers are trying to melt the ice cap. They were allowed into the Arctic Circle as people thought that because of their name, they were from a cold food sapiens community.
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Jack and the Baked Bean Stalker was a roaring success. Buttercup stole the show each night, mainly because it kept appearing on stage whenever it wanted to, even when not needed.
The prunes with the runes submitted their invoice but haven’t yet been paid
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Earl Grey has not yet returned to the UK as he is on a slow boat from China. When he does arrive he may show up in a Food Related Crime story called ‘A chai for a chai’.
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Wortel invited his team around on Christmas evening for an eggnog or two. Or in Dorothy’s case, around seven or eight.
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Dorothy remains the most normal member of the Food Related Crime team.
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Depending on whichever one Redford can be bothered to write next, the Food Related Crime team will return in:
Or maybe none of the above and in something else completely different…