CHAPTER SIX
DREAMING THROUGH LIFE
As we know, our dreams may change throughout our lives. Those that we have when we’re adults are quite different than those we had as kids, or even teenagers. Seeing how dreams shift can give us fascinating insights into developmental psychology as well as the changing roles that they may play in our lives.
Infants
Given that infants don’t readily have access to verbal language, it’s uncertain what their dreams may be like. Of course, we do know that they spend a lot of time in REM sleep, approximately half of their entire sleep cycle (compared to about 25 percent for the average adult). This makes sense when we consider that this sleep stage is noted for its inherent importance to brain development. Whether they are experiencing the vivid dreams that occur in REM sleep, however, is currently unknown.
Early and Middle Childhood
Most research on children and dreams begins with those who are three or four years old, at which time many describe their dreams in a sentence or two. Their dreams are usually recounted as being brief, featuring few characters and simple plotlines. Research has suggested that the relationship they have with their dreams is more one of a passive observer than someone actively expressing agency. Animals play a key role in children’s dreams, and the setting is often at home or a place that resembles home. As children get older and embark upon school, their cognitive development increases, as does their socialization; all of this is mirrored in their dreams, which begin to take upon more waking life concerns. With their expanded language skills, they are able to express more details of their nighttime visions. As their worlds get bigger, so does the world of their dreams, with the characters that appear beginning to shift; the concentration of animals now gives way to more family members and kids of their own age.
Their dreams become more reflective of their waking life, whether related to the development of skills or the feelings they experience through interactions with family, friends, and community members. Their dreams may begin to feature multiple events strung together, rather than the isolated scenes they previously experienced. In reflecting their emotional development, action and events may be accompanied by the associated thoughts and feelings that they engender. As their imaginations continue to expand, so may the symbolic, metaphorical, and fantastical attributes of their dreams. And, as they enter school and become even more socialized, gender differences in dream content may also emerge. For example, early school-age girls report more friendly interactions than boys, who more readily note the appearance of untamed animals and aggressive interactions.
Adolescents and Teenagers
As we grow, and life concerns shift, so do our dreams. Compared to younger children, the dream settings of older kids are less reflective of waking life locales, and characters are more likely to be a compendium of numerous people. As dreams may mirror the issues that confront us, teenagers’ dreams often include a focus on their changing bodies and how they feel about them, the social struggles they may have, and their growing sexual curiosity. Nightmares, while less frequently experienced than when they were younger, often include themes such as being in school, trying to escape a challenging environment, competition and sport, falling and spatial disorientation, and attacking someone or being attacked. Regarding the latter, the figure of danger in an adolescent’s dream may more likely to be monsters and witches rather than actual people. Nightmares are thought to be experienced more commonly by adolescent girls than boys.
Adults
As we get older and move into early adulthood, our dream recall begins to increase. At a certain point in midlife, though, it seems to decline, whether because of more fragmented sleep, reduced interest in dreams, physiological shifts, or something else. (For ways to enhance your dream recall regardless of age, see chapter 12.) It seems that, in general, adult men dream about men more often than about women, while women dream more equally of both men and women. Nightmare prevalence is lower in adults than children, although that doesn’t preclude their occurrence. Those who have had significant trauma have higher rates of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which may manifest in frequent nightmares. Compared to children, adults may be more likely to have lifestyle habits or take medications that impact their REM cycles. Adults often find themselves more interested in their dreams than when they were younger. This may reflect that in this life stage, we are inclined to be more introspective and reflective about our emotional life. Pursuing counseling or therapy also seems to have people more attuned to their dreams.
Seniors
As we enter our elder years, shifts in sleep cycles become more noticeable. The pattern changes with less time spent in stage 3 deep sleep and more in the light sleep stages 1 and 2. Studies have so far yielded conflicting results as to whether or not the percentage of time one is in REM sleep declines with advanced age. Regardless of whether sleep architecture changes in seniors shift in such a way as to reduce the total time dedicated to REM, it does seem that older people experience less REM, perhaps owing to their getting less overall sleep. As dreams reflect our waking-day concerns, their content may shift as people age, with an ensuing focus on possible themes such as scarcity, loss of resources, and their impending passing. It’s been noted that older people are less likely to appear as the central figure in their own dreams. That said, it’s been suggested that sexual dreams persist throughout life, and do not necessarily cease, even if a person is not as sexually active as they once were.
A Woman’s Cycles and Her Dreams
Given the role that hormones play in the intricate orchestra of physiology, it’s no surprise that a woman’s dreams may shift throughout her life in unique ways.
DURING MENSES
Women’s sleep and dreams may vary during different stages of their menstrual cycle, which makes sense, given the fluctuation of hormones that occurs. Many women find that they have more disturbances in sleep during PMS, or right after ovulation; the latter may be due to the rise in progesterone that accompanies this stage. This seems to increase basal body temperature, which may be why sleep undergoes an interference. With disrupted sleep comes shifts in their ability to recall their dreams. While it’s too early to draw strong conclusions on how, and if, the menstrual cycle influences dream content, some studies have provided interesting results; PMS has been correlated with more disturbing dreams, and the pre-ovulation stage with more erotic dreams.
DURING PREGNANCY
Pregnant women report remembering more dreams than non-pregnant ones. It’s unclear whether that’s reflecting a hormonal shift that catalyzes a change in sleep architecture or if it’s related to expectant mothers getting up more frequently in the night, which can increase their chance of waking up from a REM dream. Or perhaps it’s both. Many pregnant women report dreams that are vivid and sometimes bizarre. Not surprisingly, pregnant women’s dreams reflect their changing bodies, as well as the significant shift that their life is undertaking. Their dreams may mirror what they are experiencing in their lives, perhaps filled with worries or joys, allowing them to further express feelings that are arising. Images of water may be more prevalent, which may symbolize physical matters such as the buildup of amniotic fluid occurring in their body. Or it may signify more archetypal themes, such as connecting in a unitive bonding way to their child. Another commonly reported theme centers around the appearance of architectural structures; this makes sense when we think of how pregnant women experience their bodies as a container in which life is growing.
DURING MENOPAUSE
As women approach and enter menopause, many note that they are not able to sleep as well as they had previously, with shifting hormones likely to be a significant factor. There is preliminary evidence that women experiencing hot flashes are less likely to be awakened by them in the second half of the night, when more time is spent in REM sleep, than earlier. And while there is a paucity of research on how menopause and hormone replacement therapy impacts dreams, some women do report that they experience them to be different than when they were younger; this may once again mirror how dreams echo a change in life focus and concerns.