CHAPTER FIFTEEN
DECODING YOUR DREAMS
As you’ve likely experienced, the process of recalling, recording, and journaling your dreams itself can help to lift the veil that may have obscured your understanding as to what meaning they carried. Additionally, there are other approaches that can further help us decipher their significance. Of course, while working with a trained psychotherapist or dreamworker can offer you a personalized way to render more clarity, there are other ways that you can decode your dreams on your own, or with a community of others also interested in illuminating the wisdom of their oneiric visions. In this chapter, we’ll explore approaches that will further help us to understand our dreams. We’ll survey dream dictionaries, a Jungian technique known as Active Imagination, and popular divining methods. We’ll also consider ways to tap into the power that comes through banding together with others, including working with a dreamwork partner and becoming involved with a dream group.
Dream Dictionaries and Symbol Books
One of the ways that many people gain insights into their dreams is by consulting a dream dictionary. As shared in the Introduction, interpretations of dream symbols were included in cuneiform tablets of the Library of Ashurbaniplal, dating from the seventh century BCE. While it was Artemidorus who is credited with writing one of the first and most comprehensive dream guide books back in the second century CE, his is not necessarily the oldest. Generally, dream dictionaries are books — or online databases — that are arranged in an A to Z format. You use them to look up an image that appeared in your dream to find out what it’s commonly thought to represent. As you look through the interpretations, you may become more clear as to the potential meaning that the dream symbol possibly holds for you.
However, while these guides may help to catalyze your ability to become more fluent with images and their range of significance, it’s important to not just adopt a particular meaning that’s in the book and definitively apply it to your dream. Rather, it’s important to see whether any of the associated meanings intuitively resonate with you and feel personally relevant. After all, while there are aspects of symbols that are thought to be universal, what one signifies to you may be different than what it does for another person. Sages throughout time, including Artemidorus himself, believed that the meaning of oneiric images was personal to the dreamer.
If reading about the different meanings of images is helpful to you in understanding your oneiric visions, there are other books that you can consult in addition to traditional dream dictionaries. These include books that catalog symbols that have held meaning for cultures throughout history. With their glossary-like approach, they may be similar to dream dictionaries, but not named as such. Again, though, be cautious in taking what is written and applying it to your dream without running it through your inner sense of truth to determine its personal veracity.
Active Imagination
Among his other breakthrough theories and accomplishments, Carl Jung pioneered a technique called Active Imagination, which can be used to bring forth a deeper level of understanding as to the insights that our dreams are dispatching. Active Imagination is a process by which you marry your conscious and unconscious minds to bring forth awareness and healing. And while it can be used as a general meditative and illuminative technique, it can also play a key role in helping us give voice to the wisdom that is carried forth by dream images and characters. When you use Active Imagination with your dreams, you begin by first finding yourself in a tranquil and reflective state. You invite in the recollections of a current dream, with the intention of having a dialogue with a character or symbol that it featured.
Once one of them emerges in your mind, you begin to converse with it. The trick is that you don’t forcibly create the questions or answers, but rather allow them to arise, seeing what is stirred up and inspired by your imaginal mind. You beckon the dream image or character to provide you with clarification, asking them what they signified and what lessons they have for you. You can do Active Imagination quietly in your mind or in conversations out loud (and record them if you want). It can also be done with automatic writing, or through drawing, painting, music, or dance.
Doing Active Imagination with dreams can be quite an amazing process. You may find that it yields powerful surprises as you witness what spontaneously comes forth. After practicing it, especially with images or figures that have played a recurring starring role in your dreams, you may notice that they no longer appear with such frequency; the process of Active Imagination may allow you to get a direct line as to the communiqué they were carrying, making their role in your dreams no longer necessary. For many, it’s best to start doing Active Imagination with someone trained in the method, such as a Jungian analyst or a professional schooled in the technique. Given that it gives your imaginal realm great freedom to express itself, it’s thought that those who readily get lost in fantasy may want to exhibit caution in doing this practice, or only do it with a trained practitioner.
Tarot
If you work with tarot cards, you can turn to them to access more insights into what your dream may be revealing to you. If we think about how tarot cards are filled with images, reflect a visual landscape, and are embedded with archetypal symbols, it makes sense that they can help us garner more awareness as to what our dreams may be illuminating. Working with the tarot may aid you in accessing the part of your mind that is at home in this realm, acting as a conduit to help you better recall and understand your dreams.
There are several ways that you can work with the tarot to help decipher your dreams. One simple way is to think about a particular image that arose, about which you don’t feel clear. Holding it in your mind’s eye, pick a card and see what it reflects back to you. Another way is to do a tarot layout, as described shown here.
THE MAJOR ARCANA CARDS OF THE TAROT
While there are numerous tarot resources, both in print and online, for ready access, here is a list of the twenty-two Major Arcana cards, their associated number, and some keywords accorded with each.
0 – The Fool
Courage, innocence, freedom, risk-taking, rebellion, breakthroughs
1 – The Magician
Beginnings, learning, discipline, manifestation, intentions, communication
2 – The High Priestess
Intuition, reflection, contemplation, knowing, sacred knowledge, divine feminine
3 – The Empress
Love, pleasure, beauty, creativity, luxury, sensuality
4 – The Emperor
Authority, foundations, empowerment, responsibility, leadership, dignity
5 – The Hierophant
Tradition, community, faith, teacher, knowledge, sacred vows
6 – The Lovers
Discernment, choice, relationship crossroads, commitment, learning, wholeness
7 – The Chariot
Ambition, intuition, forward movement, self-realization, beginnings, integrity
8 – Strength
Patience, passion, self-love, gentleness, vulnerability, self-care
9 – The Hermit
Solitude, faith, inner journey, service, guidance, vigilance
10 – Wheel of Fortune
Change, opportunity, expansion, luck, new possibilities, flexibility
11 – Justice
Balance, harmony, adjustment, inner peace, truth, judgment
12 – The Hanged Man
Surrender, disillusionment, paradox, martyrdom, perspective, divinity
13 – Death
Endings, completion, transformation, liberation, internal change, regeneration
15 – The Devil
Fear, obsession, control, power struggles, creativity, dark side
16 – The Tower
Fundamental change, destruction, chaos, dismantling, endings, healing
17 – The Star
Inspiration, destiny, imagination, dreams, creativity, future
18 – The Moon
Shadow, past, illusions, dreamscapes, deception, illumination
19 – The Sun
Freedom, innocence, new beginnings, enthusiasm, vitality, success
20 – Judgment
Accountability, reckoning, life review, truth, awakening, self-acceptance
21 – The World
Completion, empowerment, achievement, manifestation, big picture, leadership
Pendulum
Another way to gain insight into your dreams is by dowsing with a pendulum. The use of finding hidden information or items with this approach goes back thousands of years, with ancient Egyptian bas reliefs showing people using these instruments. A pendulum is composed of a string, usually a light chain, that has a weighted stone or crystal attached to it. It’s designed in such a way that when held, the crystal or stone is able to swing in an unobstructed manner.
You can use a pendulum to access answers to questions, with certain observed movements signifying a specific answer and others a different one; generally, when using a pendulum, most people assign a certain movement to accord to a Yes response, another to a No response, and another to reflect a response that indicates uncertainty. People use pendulums for insights on a variety of subjects, including to probe more deeply into what their dreams may have signified.
The I Ching
The I Ching is a time-honored book that offers a wellspring of wisdom from Taoism and Confucianism. It features an oracular method to tap into prized philosophical knowledge, including to access more insights into your dreams. For over three thousand years, it’s been used to provide guidance and counsel to people from all swaths of life, from kings to commoners. The I Ching is also known as The Book of Changes. It contains sixty-four hexagram designs, each of which has a name and number, and is associated with a trove of time-honored wisdom. To “consult the I Ching” — and discover the hexagram that mirrors your inquiry — you use a technique that involves throwing either yarrow sticks, coins, or specialized dice, and doing a calculation based upon what results.
Dreamwork Partners
One way to further understand what your dreams may be revealing is to work with a dreamwork partner. This would be someone that you trust, perhaps a relied-upon friend or colleague, who is also interested in dreamwork. They would need to be someone with whom you feel comfortable sharing the intimacies of your inner self, as revealed by what comes forth in your dreams.
Working with a dreamwork partner can not only help you to access deeper awareness as to what your dreams signify, but it will also assist you to more readily remember your dreams. After all, if you’re committing to another person that you will be capturing and recounting your dreams, you will be motivated to do so. Doing dreamwork with a partner is a powerful way to not only dive deeper into your dreams, but it can help you to establish the strong relationship bond that comes from honestly sharing yourself with another person. Once you and your partner have decided that you would like to support each other in your dreamwork, set a few guidelines for engagement. Here are several steps to follow that will help you create a partnership that will be rewarding.
MAKE A TIME COMMITMENT
Decide upon a time frame, perhaps a month or two, to which you will commit to being dreamwork partners, after which time you can reevaluate how the process is serving you both. Knowing that your commitment is bounded and won’t go on for an undetermined time, it will help each of you be more steadfast in your allegiance to the process.
DETERMINE YOUR SHARING FREQUENCY
Choose a consistent frequency with which to share your dreams with each other. Generally, anywhere from daily to weekly works best. If you’re only sharing select dreams, you could even extend it to every other week. Beyond that, too much time passes, and the strength of the work seems to dissipate.
WAYS TO SHARE YOUR DREAMS
Determine how you want to share your dreams. Will you do so via email or video chat, on the phone or in person? You may also decide that you want to do some sort of hybrid approach if that works better for you. For some people, just having another person hear their dreams provides enough value. It enables them to feel witnessed, and the accountability of having to share dreams on a regular basis motivates them to focus on recording them. For others, however, the richness of the experience comes through getting their partner’s reflections on their dreams, as that serves as a vehicle to help further discover their meanings.
HOW TO OFFER REFLECTIONS
If you decide to offer reflections upon each other’s dreams, decide what type and how much you want. Is a sentence or two adequate, or do you both want what you receive to be more in-depth if the dream warrants it? Will you offer your thoughts on all the dreams that you each send to the other, or only on a select number? If the latter, decide who — the dreamer or their partner — gets to determine which dreams will get more in-depth treatment. Again, having these clear expectations as to what you give and what you receive does wonders for the relationship and the communication that it entails.
When giving reflection, it’s a good practice to start with “If this were my dream …” It creates a boundary and clarifies that each of you is offering your personal associations, rather than stating an objective analysis of the dream. It reminds each person that it is truly the dreamer who has ownership over the dream, and, as such, is the one who knows what it really signifies. The other person is just offering perspectives that may help the dreamer realize what that significance is.
Dream Groups
While working with a dreamwork partner can help you access insights that may not otherwise be available, so can being part of a dream group. Also referred to as dream clubs, they offer a collective approach to mining the messages that may be carried in our dreams. One of the pioneers of the dream group model was Montague Ullman, MD (who, you may remember from chapter 7, was also a trailblazer in researching precognitive and telepathic dreams). What follows is a process you can use to coordinate a dream group meeting, which reflects many of the tenets that Ullman designed and tested over the years. The benefits of this approach are multi-fold, including having a group of people hold space for someone to share a dream elevates its significance. And, committing to an ongoing dreamwork practice can enhance participants’ dream recall. Additionally, having numerous people offer their vantage points helps to further reveal the essence of the dreams shared. Plus, being part of a dream group can be a fun activity as it brings you together in a newly forged community, enjoying all the advantages that this yields.
Dream groups may be led by psychotherapists or dreamworkers, although just as likely they may be a group of laypersons who come together to share their collective interest. They may be in-person groups or those that meet online. If you can’t find one, or don’t align with any that exist, consider starting one. Put out an invitation to friends and colleagues who may be interested. You want the group to be small enough so that everyone can share, but large enough so that there is adequate heterogeneity and fodder for conversation. Many suggest that six to eight people is a good size.
Dream groups often meet weekly or biweekly. In the beginning, you may want to define a finite time frame for the group, perhaps getting everyone to commit to several months. After that, you can then reassess whether to extend it. And while the members may change, many dream groups find that they go on for years. To create a safe and reliable container for the dream group, it’s good to have a few guidelines in place. These can include:
▪ Group members should speak about dreams with reverent appreciation and maintain a strong respect for one another.
▪ The group should adopt a stance of confidentiality. Nothing that is shared within the group should be discussed with anyone outside of it, and no recording should be allowed unless everyone in the group agrees. The exception to this could be that each member can share a dream of theirs that the group workshopped — and what they learned — with a friend or their therapist, but it should be done in a manner that safeguards the other members’ privacy.
▪ Everyone should remember that the person who shares their dream is the ultimate authority on it. While others play an active role in its deciphering by giving reflection and asking questions that help the interpretation to unfold, ultimately it’s the dreamer who knows the meaning it holds for them. The group just helps them discover it, acting as sherpas, supporting them on the journey to clarify the gift that it offers.
▪ The person who shares their dream gets to be in charge of declaring when they feel that the process of inquiry is complete for them, calling for the end of it. Even if others still believe there is more matter to be mined, the dreamer has the ultimate say on when they feel complete.
▪ Someone should assume the role of being the group leader. If it works for the group dynamic, you can change who assumes this role in subsequent gatherings. The leader shepherds the movement between the different stages of the process and keeps the conversation flowing.
STAGE 1: THE DREAMER SHARES
One person (or two, depending upon time) elects to share a dream that they found to be interesting, curious, and/or meaningful. It should be a dream that is recent enough so that they can remember its details, as well as what was transpiring in their life around the time that they had it. That said, if a group member has a dream from years ago that’s stayed with them, and which they regard as important and impactful, they can share it. They should communicate as much of the dream as they remember and as much as they feel comfortable sharing. They should recount it without any editing or commentary, either about the dream or their waking life. It’s important that they don’t share any potential analysis, as they don’t want to bias the group as to what their interpretation will be.
The group should listen intently and take notes if they desire. Some groups like to have the dreamer type up the dream, read it aloud, and then share a copy with everyone. This can be helpful in capturing details that may be otherwise missed while listening to the dream’s retelling. After the dreamer shares their dream, members of the group can ask questions if they need clarification. These questions should be focused on the content of the dream, not what it may mean.
STAGE 2: THE GROUP MEMBERS SHARE
Next, the group members mirror back reflections to the dreamer. They share how the dream made them feel, what was stirred for them while listening to it. They should work with the images, seeing what arises for them in terms of metaphorical meanings. This can be done in a certain order; for example, by going around in a circle. Or the group members can share in a more spontaneous fashion.
As previously noted in the dreamwork partner section, it’s always important for someone who is witnessing another’s dream to have their reflections begin with the statement, “If this were my dream…” This helps to remind everyone that the only person who truly knows what the dream signifies is the person to whom it belongs, allowing them to maintain ownership of it. Members share reflections until the process feels complete; this is something that the leader can help distinguish.
If it feels right, someone can write down the group’s reflections on a blackboard, whiteboard, or large notepad on an easel. This can be helpful, since it’s often a good idea to synthesize what the group had shared before this step is complete. During this whole process, the dreamer remains silent, attentively listening.
STAGE 3: THE DREAMER AND THE GROUP DIALOGUE
In this stage, the dreamer notes which group members’ reflections most notably resonated with them, and which ones didn’t. To get deeper into the potential that this stage holds, the group can ask further questions of the dreamer: about their experience of the dream and how they feel it may relate to situations in their current life.
If a group member perceives that the dreamer isn’t readily making connections between the dream and situations that are unfolding in their life, they can gently and compassionately nudge them by asking about what occurred the day before the dream. They can even inquire as to what they were thinking about before they went to bed. Yet, they shouldn’t push the dreamer to make realizations that they are not ready to.
At some point, it becomes apparent when the process is finished and all that is to be evidenced has been brought forth. At this point, the leader can ask the group member who shared their dream if they feel that the group work is complete. If the dreamer has typed up and shared their dream, someone can read it aloud at the end, marking the closure of the process.