D ating Advice For Men

D ating Advice On How To Be A Better Man, Attract The Women You Deserve, Have A Spectacular Relationship And Get More From Life.

B y

L evi King

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Table of Contents

Introduction: The Ultimate Purpose of a Man's Life

Part I: Becoming a Better Man

Chapter 1: Masculine vs. Feminine Energy

Chapter 2: Beta Males vs. Alpha Males

Chapter 3: Finding Your Purpose

Chapter 4: Living Your Purpose

Chapter 5: Nurturing Your Purpose

Part II: Understanding Women Completely

Chapter 6: What Women Really Want

Chapter 7: How Women Fall in Love

Chapter 8: Women Chase Men

Chapter 9: The Sigma Male

Part III: The Game Getting the Woman You Want

Chapter 10: Your Ideal Woman

Chapter 11: Where to Meet Women

Chapter 12: Her Tests and How to Pass Them

Chapter 13: How to Set Dates

Chapter 14: The First Date

Chapter 15: Successful Seduction

Part IV: Relationships

Chapter 16: Your Relationship: Your Responsibility

Chapter 17: The Purpose of a Relationship is to Give

Chapter 18: The Courtship Never Ends

Chapter 19: Vulnerability

Chapter 20: The Five Love Languages

Final Word from the Author

I Need Your Help

I ntroduction

T he Ultimate Purpose of a Man's Life

What’s the meaning of life? What’s the point of it all?

You might have asked yourself this question a few times in your life. And even if you might have found a possible answer to that question, it just leaves you with even more questions.

Is a man’s life all about women? If it were, then why are so many single men monks, priests, and voluntary celibates some of the happiest men in the world? And why are so many married men some of the most miserable men in the world?

Maybe it’s not women. Maybe a man’s life is all about success?

So many men today are trapped in endless pursuits of success. And when they do achieve success, they find out it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Some extremely successful men are so unfulfilled they end up killing themselves.

So maybe it’s not success either. Maybe a man’s life is all about happiness?

A mountain of scientific study has shown that the more you pursue happiness, the more miserable you become. It’s all because of a fact that’s supposed to be obvious from the beginning that no matter how happy you are, you can always be happier if you do this, or if you own this, or if you achieve this. It’s a game that never ends.

So what IS a man’s life all about?

To get the most basic answer of all one that ALL of us can agree on we’ll need to go back to our biology.

Biologically, we’re driven to do only two things:

  1. To survive; and

  2. To replicate.

Survival requires a mastery of the martial arts the art of war. And as history has shown, wars aren’t won by force they’re won by preparation.

Meanwhile, replication requires a mastery of the Venusian arts the art of love. And to win the game of love, it’s not enough to be a “good person.” You’ll also need good game and discipline.

Notice something?

Our two biological thrusts CONFLICT with each other.

To survive, we need to know how to defend ourselves from others.

To replicate, we need to know how to align ourselves with others namely, women.

Our biological impulses create a conflict within us. No wonder so many men today are confused.

The key out of this confusion is to first realize that life isn’t an “either or” proposition.

It’s an “and” proposition. You need to master BOTH survival and replication.

And as a direct result, you’ll master women, and you’ll master life itself.

That’s what a man’s life is all about. It’s the only equation that leads to true and lasting meaning the kind that leaves a mark on the Earth long after we’re gone.

This book is meant to give you the simplest, most straightforward way to find the meaning of a man’s life. For simplicity’s sake, mastery of survival and replication requires mastery of four basic areas:

  1. Mastering yourself and the life you lead;

  2. Mastering women completely;

  3. Mastering the game of love; and

  4. Mastering your family and household.

I won’t kid you. It will be tough.

But I’m sure you’ll agree it’s better than never finding the meaning of your life

…and it’s better than making up a meaning for yourself, all the while knowing in the back of your mind you’re bullshitting yourself.

It’s time you killed the confusion, the self-loathing, and the politically-correct brainwashing.

It’s time to be a man.

P art I: B ecoming

a

Better Man

C hapter 1

M asculine vs. Feminine Energy

T he first step to becoming a man is to realize you’re one.

Most guys today have bought into the lie that there’s no difference between men and women that they’re equal in every conceivable way.

Let me tell you why that’s bullshit.

The basic math of civilization has always been this:

  1. Men protect women and protect children.

  2. Women civilize men and raise children.

Take any one of those roles away, and civilization collapses.

  1. If men don’t protect women, crimes against women and children shoot through the roof.

  2. If women don’t civilize men, broken and single-parent families would be the norm, and civilization would collapse in two or three generations.

Here’s the problem that “basic math of civilization” is in grave danger TODAY.

There’s the pervasive lie about men and women being “equals.”

There’s the pervasive lie that anything traditionally masculine is “toxic.”

As a result, the overwhelming message men get from society is this: “We don’t need you.”

Now, it’s easy to think: “Well, at least women today are happier and more empowered.”

Are they really?

If you talk to enough women, you’ll notice something they all have in common:

They’re DESPERATELY looking for real men.

Some have gotten so desperate that, in a bid to stay sane, they’ve given up entirely.

Hardly “happy and empowered,” if you ask me.

Want to save women?

Want to save the world?

Start with you.

What Being a Real Man is About

A real man is, in the simplest terms, a man who’s brimming with masculine energy.

And masculine energy is NOT submissive.

It doesn’t tolerate bullshit.

It’s aligned with everything that’s fundamentally good and meaningful in life.

It takes charge. It dominates. It keeps the fabric of society together, no matter what that same society might say about it.

Do you have masculine energy?

Let’s imagine you were watching TV, watching your favorite sports team playing live. Then imagine your girlfriend a woman you like very much walks in and says she wants to watch something else, like Grey’s Anatomy.

What do you do?

(a)   Be a gentleman, switch to Grey’s Anatomy, and watch whiny doctors with her

(b) Give her the remote and leave to do something else

(c)   Tell her to wait until your game’s done

If you picked (a) or (b), then on the surface, your woman might think you’re a sweet gentleman.

But deep inside, she sees WEAKNESS.

And deep inside, she HATES that.

No woman wants a weak man, no matter how gentlemanly he might be.

Why not?

Because if you’re weak, she can’t respect you.

If she can’t respect you, she can’t feel attracted to you.

And if she can’t feel attracted to you, she can’t love you.

And so she breaks up with you or she leaves you for a stronger guy (even if that new guy is NOT a “gentleman”) or she henpecks you to death.

This is the reason why so many “nice guys” never get the girls.

And if you’re not as successful with women (and in life) as you’d like to be now you know why.

Let’s fix that.

Masculine Energy is Key to Sexual Attraction

In his book, The Way of the Superior Man, spiritual teacher David Deida describes sexual attraction as:

“A force of passion that arcs between masculine and feminine poles, and all natural forces flow between these poles.”

The stronger the masculine energy, and the stronger the feminine energy, the stronger the sexual attraction between them.

You only have control over one half of that equation: Your masculine energy.

Here’s the thing: You may NEVER hear women express their attraction to masculine energy.

Instead, you might hear them say they’re looking for “kind, understanding, loyal gentlemen.” (Which we now know is just a lie they tell themselves and others.)

But who do they really feel attracted to?

Without a doubt it’s strong, dominant, purpose-driven men.

You are to be that man.

You’ve just taken the first step towards becoming that man by knowing the difference between men and women.

What’s the second step?

It’s to know the differences among you and other men.

That’s up next.

C hapter 2

B eta Males vs. Alpha Males

What are the differences between you and other men?

Let’s start with the most basic and most glaring difference of all.

I call it “glaring” because it’s the first thing women consider when they evaluate you as a man.

And that’s whether you’re an “alpha male” or a “beta male.”

An “alpha male” is, more than anything else, a leader.

Being a “leader of your own self” means having a purpose in life.

This is incredibly important so important that this book has three whole Chapters on finding, living, and nurturing your purpose.

For now, let’s talk about what you should NOT be.

Are you a beta male and don’t know it?

Be fair to yourself and honestly check how many of the following traits you have:

The more of the above-listed traits you have, the more of a beta male you are the more women dislike you and the more work you’ll need to do.

Fortunately, this is a problem that can be solved.

It all starts with the first requisite of being an alpha male being a leader of your own self.

And being a leader of your own self starts with finding your purpose in life a grand mission that will fill you up and drive you forward no matter what’s in your way.

Let’s find it your purpose in the next Chapter.

C hapter 3

F inding Your Purpose

Little boys and girls develop a sense of purpose early in their lives.

Boys run around simulating swordfights, gunfights, and playing cops and robbers with other boys. They play games where they’re the “hero.”

In other words, boys are attuned to the martial arts the arts of war. We’re attuned to the

search for freedom and the overcoming of competition. It’s what makes us men.

Girls play, too but the boys’ mad search for excitement bewilders them. They’re more content playing with dolls and pretending to raise a home.

In other words, girls are attuned to the Venusian arts the arts of love and nurturing. That’s what they want.

And it’s NOT what you should want, despite what the feminists say.

So if you don’t know your purpose in life, let’s find it right now.

What Your Purpose Should NOT Be

First of all, your purpose in life is NOT to get a woman. Let’s get that straight from the beginning. Your purpose must be BIGGER than women.

Why?

Firstly, because having women as your sole purpose in life is pathetic. It means that in your mind, women are better than you. Like they’re a prize to be won and they’re not.

Second, women hate it. If “getting a woman” is your purpose in life, then you’ll do ANYTHING to get a woman and women will see you as an extremely weak guy. And you now know how much they HATE weak men.

Read this carefully:

It’s a woman’s deepest need to attach herself to men of clear, unbreakable purpose.

We’ll talk about this need in a later Chapter, but as early as now, know this: A woman can only enter her supportive, nurturing state of mind where she truly comes alive when your purpose in life is bigger than her.

And that’s why beta males have it so hard with women. Beta males have no purpose in life, and so they make women their purpose.

And so their relationships don’t work out unless they settle.

Don’t trap yourself like that. Rise above it. Your purpose in life must be bigger than women, bigger than sex, and bigger than marriage.

So how do you find it?

Here’s how.

How to Find Your Purpose in Life

Ask yourself this question:

If money weren’t an issue in your life, and you didn’t need to go to work, what would you be doing?

Do this exercise now. Get a sheet of paper or open a blank document on your PC. Write down all the different things you’d want to do in your life if money weren’t an issue.

The more detailed your answers are, the better. You can write what your “ideal day” would be like if money weren’t an issue. Write down how you’d feel. Write what a typical month or year would look like for you. Write how you’d wake up in the morning and go to bed at night.

Take as much time as you need.

Once you’re done, it’s time to engineer your “ideal life” into reality.

Take a look at the things you listed down. Then ask yourself:

How can I do these things AND make lots of money in the process?

That’s how you find your purpose.

You find your purpose where your talents and interests intersect with solving a problem (or filling a need) in the world and getting paid well in the process.

My Purpose

If you’d like an example, let’s use my own life.

For me, what truly drives me is FREEDOM.

I engineered my purpose into reality in various ways:

Now it’s your turn.

Your Purpose

You might find your purpose in life today, after doing the exercise above.

Or you might find it gradually, over the next several months or years, as you do the exercise over and over.

That’s okay. The mere act of TRYING to find your purpose purifies you. It gets rid of the junk in your life. It opens your eyes to your true potential. It strengthens your masculine energy.

When you know your purpose in life, and when you’re living in complete alignment with it it’s a different world. Every victory at work, and every moment of intimacy with women, is magnified a thousand times.

You know, from balls to bones, that you’re exactly where you’re meant to be and doing exactly what you’re meant to do.

But if you’re disconnected from your purpose, you’ll remain weak. You’ll feel empty, unfulfilled, and impotent.

You won’t be able to penetrate the world, and you sure as hell won’t be penetrating any women anytime soon.

Don’t trap yourself like that.

Find your purpose. Start now.

C hapter

L iving Your Purpose

“ Do not pretend to be more enlightened than you are.” David Deida

Here’s one of the biggest roadblocks to finding and living your purpose in life: An unhealthy relationship with fear.

Fear is a constant. It’s a defense mechanism hard-wired into our brains over the last 200,000 years.

So you can’t get rid of it, like some goo-roos might say. You can only have a healthy relationship with it.

There are three different kinds of relationships you can have with fear, and only one of them is healthy.

But let’s start with the first and worst kind of relationship: Avoidance.

This is where you’re actually afraid of being afraid.

So you avoid people, things, and situations where you risk feeling afraid.

You avoid pursuing your ideal job. You avoid building a business around your passion. You avoid pursuing the girl of your dreams.

As a result, you end up leading an extremely boring life, and women won’t feel attracted to you.

The second and only-marginally-better kind of relationship you can have with fear is Hostility.

This is where you actually run TOWARDS fear. You’re so tired of being held back by fear that you charge forward with reckless aggression.

Hostility is slightly better than Avoidance, but it’s still an unhealthy relationship with fear. It robs you of prudence, which puts you and the people counting on you at great risk.

So that leaves us with the third and only healthy relationship with fear you can have: Friendship.

In the 200,000 years humans have walked the Earth, fear has served only one purpose: To keep us alive.

Isn’t that something only a true friend would do?

The goal, then, is to “relax into fearlessness.” You treat fear as a friend. You acknowledge that it’s only there to keep you safe but it’s NOT there to hold you back.

So as a result:

Keep this in mind: Just as a muscle only grows when pushed past its limits, masculine energy only grows when subjected to adversity.

My Personal Relationship with Fear

In case I haven’t mentioned it before, I grew up in the bad part of London.

There was gang violence, knife crimes, drugs, all that bad stuff.

I got held up several times in my childhood. One time, a gang cornered me and threatened to stab me if I didn’t give up my phone. If the police hadn’t rounded the corner that moment, I might not be writing this book right now.

But that was the last straw for me. I wanted to defend myself. That’s when my lifelong love affair with martial arts was born.

It started with Judo and Taekwondo. Then I moved to strength training and got jacked. Then I moved on to boxing, Muay Thai, and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

I felt awesome, but I didn’t know why at the time. Now I do. I felt awesome because I was constantly pushing myself to the edge of my abilities, and constantly looking over that edge.

I felt awesome because I was growing. So learn this lesson as early as now: The only way to be happy in this life is to be constantly growing and making progress.

Your goals will make you happy for a while. But growth and progress will make you happy for life.

Are you growing enough? Are you making enough progress?

Fast-forward to today. I’ve learned that the better I got at martial arts, the smaller the need to defend myself became.

People stopped messing with me. The things that used to scare the shit out of me as a child no longer bothered me. I felt like there was no problem in the world I couldn’t solve.

And all it took me was to treat my fear as a friend.

I didn’t avoid it, and I didn’t rush blindly against it.

Instead, I let it guide me into making one good decision after another. And it’s made all the difference in my life.

Now it’s your turn. What’s your relationship with fear like?

If you don’t know, then do the quick exercise below.

Here’s another crucial element to living your purpose: Living in the present moment.

Are you stuck in your past? Do you miss the good times in the past? Or do you keep re-living the bad times? Or do you keep running away from it?

Or are you stuck in your future? Do you keep telling yourself things like: “ONE DAY it’ll all get better”?

If you said “yes” to any of the questions above, then here’s the cold, hard reality: You’re STUCK.

You’re not growing as a man should. And you need to change that fast.

I remember one of my ex-girlfriends. She was hot and sophisticated pretty much everything you could ask for in a girlfriend.

Except when I visited her home for the first time and found it an absolute mess. Clothes on the floor, unwashed pots and pans in the sink, dust on the furniture It was gross.

But she was hot. So I told myself, “Well, one day it’ll all be better. I’ll just teach her how to keep a house clean.”

So, for several months, I tried to teach her but it didn’t work. It was like trying to teach a pig to fly. It was agonizingly frustrating.

Looking back, I realize that I should have simply gone with the most obvious solution. TO LEAVE HER. I knew I had the standard to only date women who got their lives together, and she obviously wasn’t that but by living in the future, I wasted several months of my life.

What about you? Are you NOT living in the present?

Is there anything in your life that’s under your control, but still keeping you stuck?

Maybe it’s a job you hate. Or a woman who’s controlling you. Or an obligation you willingly took on, but didn’t have to, and now it’s driving you nuts.

What can you let go of so you can live your purpose? Write them down and make your exit plan now.              

C hapter 5

Nurturing Your Purpose

What happens to you when you’re criticized?

Do you feel hurt? Do you get defensive? Do you feel the urge to shoot back? Or do you otherwise act like a woman would act when she got criticized?

If you can relate to any of the reactions listed above, here’s what it means:

  1. You’re an approval-seeker and you may not know it;

  2. And you don’t have a good relationship with masculine energy.

And those are two problems you need to fix urgently.

The fastest way to kill your approval addiction AND have a good relationship with masculine energy is this: To simply spend time in the company of other men preferably those whose masculine energy you’d like to rub off on you.

Find groups of men who are manly, who won’t tolerate mediocrity, and who will call you out if you’re being a wussy.

Do NOT look for groups of men who will “sympathize” with you in your struggles. Women need sympathy. Men need SOLUTIONS. So find men who will get you “unstuck” and growing again.

Recently, one of my friends came to me with a question: “It’s Keisha, man. We’re hot for each other and I want to bang her so much. But I don’t want to hurt my girlfriend and I’m worried she’ll find out.”

He was lucky our group didn’t “support” or sympathize with its members’ struggles. I told him: “Come on, bro, you’ve been talking about Keisha for months. Stop wasting your time and get it over with. Either bang her or move on with your life.”

Now, I don’t condone cheating. But I don’t condone men whining like women, either. And between those two “evils,” cheating is the far lesser one.

But my admonishing did the trick. My friend sacked up and said, “You’re right, man. I’ll forget about it. I don’t want to mess up what I got at home anyway.”

Want to nurture your purpose in life?

Then spend time in the company of men who will challenge your mediocrity, who are brutally honest with you, and who inspire you to grow.

Find such groups now.

P art II: U nderstanding W omen C ompletely

C hapter 6

W hat Women Really Want

How many healthy and successful relationships do you see out there?

In the UK, 40% of marriages end in divorce. In the US, it’s even worse 50% of marriages don’t last ‘til death do they part.

Worst of all, these staggering statistics don’t even count the toxic relationships couples who stay together “for the kids” or simply because they can’t afford the divorce costs.

Why are so many relationships so unhealthy and unsuccessful?

Two reasons.

First, the world suffers from a lack of real men. Fathers and husbands aren’t “showing up.” They’re not taking responsibility.

And their kids grow up not knowing what it takes to lead a happy, successful relationship and so the cycle infects their generation, too.

Now, if you did all the exercises in Part I of this book, then this reason shouldn’t be a problem for you. You’re on your way to becoming a real man, and as long as you stay on the rails, you’ll do fine.

It’s the second reason you’ll need to worry about now.

The second reason why so many relationships are NOT working out is this: Men don’t know what women want.

What DO women want?

If you get your knowledge about women from mass media or from what they SAY they want or what your friends say about women

then you’re in a bit of trouble.

First things first:

Never Take Advice About Women from Women

Have you ever experienced this?

A woman says she wants a “kind, loyal, hardworking gentleman” but she ends up dating an abusive deadbeat.

Or a woman gives you her number, but she never calls.

Or a woman acts coldly towards you, so you stop giving her attention only to receive angry texts about why you’re ignoring her.

Learn the lesson if you haven’t yet: Women NEVER say what they want. At least they can never articulate it truthfully and honestly, this is not necessarily done maliciously.

My question to you is, how many times have you heard a woman say that she wants a kind gentleman who wines and dines her, only to find that she ends up with the complete opposite.

Women have an idea of what they think they want, BUT what they are actually attracted to, is a different thing entirely.

As you’ll learn later in this book, women might nudge you in the direction they want you to take them. But never take dating advice from them.

Do All Women Lie?

Being direct, “keeping it 100,” your word of honor these are all masculine concepts.

Women follow different rules. For women, feelings are more reliable than facts.

Now, that’s not saying they don’t speak logically. They can, and when they’re in a positive state of mind, they often do.

But when they’re upset or emotional, facts fly out the window, and the only thing they trust are their own feelings.

Here’s an example. Once, I told an ex-girlfriend I was taking her out to get some Chinese food.

She told me: “No, I don’t like Chinese food.”

I then took her hand, twirled her, and basically did a silly, awkward dance with her that got her laughing.

After we caught our breaths, I said: “Let’s go get some sweet and sour prawn balls.”

Sure enough, she said: “Sure!”

And we had some pretty good prawn balls.

Did she lie to me when she said she didn’t like Chinese food?

Of course not. She was just following her “truth” at that moment her feelings. It’s subjective and not objective, but that’s women for you.

So here’s the basic rule: Unless she’s happy, with love burning at her core, don’t take whatever she says literally. Instead, follow your gut and trust your own judgment.

Speaking of following your gut

Never Listen To Your Friends’ Dating Advice

Getting dating advice from your friends is not a good idea either.

Why not?

Because your friends will tell you what they THINK is best for you.

They won’t necessary tell you what WORKS.

So as a basic rule, only get advice from friends whose relationships you want yours to be like. Otherwise, thank them for their advice but trust your gut.

So What DO Women Really Want?

Now that you know where NOT to get dating advice from, what’s the answer to our burning question? What do women REALLY want?

To get a reliable answer, you once again turn to science.

Over the past 100+ years, psychology has found that women have three basic needs in life:

  1. To feel psychologically secure,

  2. To feel physically protected,

  3. And to feel materially provided for.

This is the “basic math” to making a woman happy for life. Make her feel all three, and she’ll love you forever; miss even just one, and she’ll only see you as one of her many options, and likely not the best one at that.

Let’s take a deeper look at each basic need in turn.

Female Need #1: To Feel Psychologically Secure

A woman needs peace of mind. She needs to know she can trust you completely. Only then can she can mentally relax and be totally herself, without the need to protect her reputation or keep up appearances.

In other words, she needs to be led by strong, purpose-driven, dominant guy someone whose passions are under his total control.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m a fan of male-female equality in the corporate world and the academe.

But I’m NOT a fan of FORCED equality, such as the kind brought about by third-wave feminism and the branding of masculinity as “toxic.”

In fact, it can be argued that half of marriages today end up in divorce BECAUSE of “progressive” ideas such as these.

These new ideas kill the polarity between masculine and feminine energies and when you undermine sexual attraction, everything else comes crashing down like a row of dominoes.

So what’s a man to do?

Simple: Be a man. And here are some tried-and-true ways to cultivate your manhood:

Female Need #2: To Feel Physically Protected

This need is biologically hard-wired into all healthy women in the world. Throughout our history, women have always been the physically weaker sex. They’ve always been preyed upon by wild animals, rival tribes, and evil men.

As a result, the best situation a woman can put herself in has always been under the protection of a strong, capable man. This man should have the strength and the resources to protect her and her children.

Today, of course, there’s much less risk of danger to women. But remember, this is a biologically hard-wired need. Women still need to see that “killer” in you.

You can show this “killer instinct” either by fiercely protecting your family against the dangers of society or by ravishing your woman in bed or both.

In other words, it’s not enough to be big and strong you’ll also need to hold an erection long enough and give her one climax after another.

Female Need #3: To Feel Materially Provided For

Are all women gold diggers?

At some level, sure. But not all women are EVIL gold diggers, who are only in it for the money.

Instead, it’s yet another biological and practical need. Biologically, I don’t think any woman wants to marry a deadbeat guy.

If she uses your money to raise your kids, then that’s a good thing.

If she uses your money only on herself, then that’s a bad thing.

So my advice: Find a way to earn much more than your family needs but stay in charge of your finances. Don’t let your woman control your money that’s just asking for trouble.

So there you have it a woman’s three deepest needs.

How ready are you to meet each need?

How much work do you need to do?

Write it down, make a plan, and make it happen.

C hapter 7

H ow Women Fall in Love

How do men fall in love?

The moment they see a sexy, “perfect ten” woman, they’re instantly ready to go. They’re ready to date her, sleep with her, and even commit their entire lives to them.

In other words, we fall in love hard and fast.

Women are very different. Women fall in love more slowly.

Before a woman can commit to you, she needs to trust you first. And there’s a good biological and social reason for that.

For a woman, picking a guy to commit to will affect her life tremendously. She’s already dated hot-tempered, insecure, pushy, needy, or stalker-type men in the past. She wants to make sure you’re NOT like any of those losers before getting into a relationship with you.

So what’s as guy to do?

Date her, for sure. But treat each date as the great Coach Corey Wayne defines it:

“A date is a fun-filled romantic opportunity for sex to happen.”

Here are three tips to put this bit of dating wisdom into practice:

Tip #1: Do not Complicate Things.

Coach Corey Wayne suggests you follow the “3 H’s” of dating:

That’s it. Have all three elements in place, and you’re doing it right.

Tip #2: Don’t Lay Out All Your Cards.

Be mysterious. Be a puzzle she needs to figure out. The more mysterious you are about your true intentions, the more attracted she’ll be to you.

In 2011, the University of Virginia showed a large number of college women a random set of four male students. Then each woman was told that:

You know the researchers found?

As it turns out, when a woman doesn’t know whether you like her a little or a lot, she’ll wonder about you more. The more she wonders, the more attracted she feels to you.

So, don’t lay out all your cards in the beginning. Don’t rush the process and do not vomit up your feelings for her prematurely.

Take her on one date per week, and call/chat with her no more than once a week. If you do that (and follow the other tips in this book), you should get laid by the third or fourth date.

You will only call a woman to ask her out on a date once per week, because this builds the anticipation, women need to wonder about you. They need to feel the feelings of awe and wonder.

‘When is he next going to call me?’

‘Does he really like me?’

As mentioned earlier woman are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear, your being mysterious, indifferent and busy with your purpose is what will raise her level of attraction to you.

As the weeks go on she will not want to wait a whole week to hear from you and she will begin to contact you more frequently.

This is where you want to be, the point where she is chasing you. All you have to do is focus on your purpose and when she reaches out to you, ALWAYS assume that she wants to see you and simply set the next date and get off the phone.

The phone is for setting dates not getting to know each other, this kills the anticipation and lowers attraction.

Tip #3: Women are Like Cats, Men are Like Dogs

When you push a friendly dog away, they keep coming back to you. We’re like that in dating, aren’t we? We’re used to rejection we just try and try again.

Cats, on the other hand, come and go as they please. They don’t come when called they’ll come when they want to.

If you’ll notice, cats tend to warm up to the person in the room who doesn’t even like cats. Women are like that, too the more you show your true feelings, the more you chase them the less attracted they feel towards you.

So take it easy. Treat her like you’d treat a cat. You’ll want your relationship with her to move forward because it’s her idea because she’s curious enough about you to want to know you better.

Until then, hold your ground. Have so much fun stuff going on in your life that you’re largely indifferent to whether women like you or not.

If she is into you, great. If she is not, you’re no worse off than before. That’s how your mindset should be.

C hapter 8

W omen Chase Men

You might have grown up to movies about how a guy chases girl, how he wins the girl in the end, and how they live happily ever after.

If that doesn’t sound like your childhood, then let me spoil things for you: It never works out that way.

Here’s a truth: The most successful male-female courtships take on a “father-daughter” dynamic. Imagine a daughter sitting on her father’s lap, trying to win his approval/validation or simply seeking love and affection when she is low. The father cuddles and comforts her, his love, his affection empowers her, she feels happy again and she runs off to play.

That’s the dynamic that leads to the most successful relationships.

If you want to woman to love you, she must see you as a source of masculine strength her rock, her port in the storm, her pillar of strength. And she must feel like she must win your approval, lest some other woman does first.

You are the mountain and she is mother nature. Mother nature may rain, hail down violent thunder storms or she may be a calming breeze and a ray of sunshine. However, whatever the weather the Mountain does not budge.

How to Make Women Chase You

Making women chase you goes back to having a mission and purpose in life one that’s always a higher priority in your life than women, dating, and sex. Don’t go out of your way for any woman that’s her job.

This mindset can be tough to keep when, for instance, she calls you and asks you to meet. That’s a clear indication of interest from her. And you’ll feel the temptation to drop whatever you’re doing to meet her.

Unfortunately, the moment you go out of your way to accommodate or pursue her, she immediately realizes you like her quite a bit and that you will drop what you are doing for her. All of a sudden, the mystery is gone, and she feels attracted to you just a tad bit less.

My advice? Don’t spoil the ending. Don’t rob her of the thrill. Give her the kind of love story she reads about all the time in her favorite erotic novels.

Yes if she contacts you and you like her too, set up a time and place to meet up. After that, meet her once a week, and call or chat with her also once a week.

Then focus on your mission in life the rest of the time.

C hapter 9

T he Sigma Male

This Chapter is important aside to what you’ve learned in this book so far. In case you want to stop being a weak and boring beta male but you are neither the brash domineering top dog alpha. Perhaps you don’t find yourself particularly attracted to the social hierarchy

Then perhaps you may be a “sigma male.”

Think of it as being like an “introverted alpha male.” You rise to the top not through strength and assertiveness but through intelligence and independence.

The sigma male defies classification. He doesn’t belong to any pecking order in society, and so he’s not subject to the usual scrutiny and criticism. He’s like a lone wolf, doing his own thing and yet making his mark on the world and on women.

And that’s the difference between a sigma male and a beta male. The sigma male actually gets shit done. He has a purpose and a mission, and he carries it out in his own quiet, effective way.

The Characteristics of a Sigma Male

Here are the telltale traits that set a sigma male apart from the weak, boring beta male and the strong, assertive alpha male:

The only drawback to being a sigma male is that it can be lonely. If cultivating the traits listed above sounds too suffocating, perhaps you were meant to be an alpha male after all. But at the very least, it’s good to know you can take two paths to happiness and success.

P art III: The Game: G etting the Woman You Want

C hapter 10

Your Ideal Woman

Back in school, have you ever been assigned the kind of homework where you had to write an essay about “absolutely anything you like?”

Ever noticed that kind of homework is the hardest kind of all? It’s like, with every possible topic in the known universe and beyond to choose from, you just don’t know how to get started.

The same goes when it comes to your ideal woman. If you have no standards to the women you want to date as though you’d willingly date ANY woman then you won’t know how to get started or where to go.

Life’s too short. Don’t get stuck like that.

Your goal should be to be 100% clear about (1) the kind of relationship you want, and (2) the kind of woman you want.

And here’s a five-step process to achieve that goal.

Step #1: Identify the kind of relationship you want.

Do you want to be married with kids?

Or do you want an exclusive long-term relationship, but with no kids?

Or do you want to stay single and “date around” with as many women as you can practically handle?

Or do you want something in between?

You can’t have it all. Choose the kind of relationship you want and stick to it.

You can change your “ideal kind of relationship” later. But you can’t do even that unless you choose one now. So take your pick.

Step #2: Identify the kind of woman you want.

Take a sheet of paper and fold it lengthwise. On the left column, list down all the qualities your ideal woman must have.

On the right column, list down all the qualities your ideal woman must NOT have.

In both columns, write as many qualities as you can. Be very detailed. Write about her skin color, her accent, her intelligence, her body type, her beliefs, her political skew, etc.

Step #3: Pick your top 10 qualities in each column.

This is where it gets fun, so be sure to do this step.

Mark the 10 most important “must-have” qualities, as well as the 10 biggest “deal-breaker” qualities of the women you date.

Then prioritize each list from 1-10, with “1” being the most important must-have or deal-breaker, and “10” being the least important.

Now imagine your ideal woman exists, and you’re head-over-heels in love with her and your only chance to win her heart was to write a love letter.

Write that love letter now. Praise the qualities you love the most about her.

This step will give you a deeper appreciation for your ideal woman, which in turn will make it easier for you to find them in life.

#4: Check yourself.

Do YOU complement your ideal woman? Do you two go well together?

Or would people look at you and think, “Wow she could do a LOT better”?

Here’s the catch. You must BE the kind of person you want to attract. And that means having all the good “must-have” qualities you listed, and having NONE of the deal-breakers you listed.

So be honest now. What “must-have” qualities do you NOT have that you need to cultivate? And what “deal-breaking” qualities do you have that you need to kick?

Write them down now.

#5: Go live your life.

By now, you’ll have a clear idea of your ideal relationship and ideal woman as well as the qualities you need to cultivate or kick.

Depending on what you’ve written down, you might decide to raise your game or lower your expectations. That’s fine.

The important thing is to simply go out there and start meeting new women. Most of the women you’ll meet will NOT meet your standards.

But some will, and they’re the ones who will make it all worth it.

C hapter 11

Where to Meet Women

Here’s a hint: It’s not in clubs and bars.

Unless you’re extroverted, and unless you want to stay single and “date around,” then clubs and bars should be the LAST place you’ll want to meet women.

Here’s why: Meeting your ideal kinds of women is like hunting.

Let’s say you’re hunting elephants. You wouldn’t go to the south pole to hunt elephants, right? You’d go to where elephants roam.

Likewise, you have to go where the women are. And it’s all going to depend on the kind of relationship and the kind of woman you want.

Let Me Use Myself as an Example

Some years ago, I was at a stage in my life where I wanted to stay single while meeting lots of different women. But I didn’t want bar girls I wanted to meet women who were both well-read and physically fit.

And I found the ideal place to meet such women: Bookshops.

One woman that immediately comes to mind was the hottie I met while I was looking for a copy of Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. (Great book, by the way.)

That’s when I found her browsing in the aisle where I was. She was Caucasian, about 5’6”, had long black hair, wearing a black NY cap and black puffer jacket.

She also had one of the nicest butts I’ve ever seen on a white girl, perfectly wrapped in Adidas leggings. She fit my “ideal woman” profile to a tee.

I joined her at the checkout counter and struck up a conversation. I took a look at the book she had in her hands, which was something I’ve read and enjoyed before, and complimented her on her choice.

Soon we found ourselves talking about philosophy, books, and our mutual enjoyment of exercise and training.

That’s when I asked: “What’s your daily routine like? Because your thighs look like the end product of a master sculptor.” She loved the compliment and she continued to talk to me all the way to the parking lot.

Before we realized it, we had chatted for about 20 mins and we hadn’t even introduced ourselves yet. Yup, we clicked that well.

So we introduced ourselves, I told her we should hang out sometime, and the rest was history.

Moral of the story?

If I spent my time at bars and clubs, I wouldn’t have met her and many other women who fit my “ideal woman” profile perfectly.

A Quick Note about Peacocking Theory

In case you’ve never heard of “peacocking,” here’s what it is:

Peacocking is the wearing of attention-grabbing clothes or accessories, all meant to grab women’s attentions.

Any guy can peacock, but not every guy can peacock AND make women feel attracted to him.

The key is congruence. If you peacock but your looks don’t jibe with your personality, then you’ll come off looking like a clown, and you’ll get the exact opposite reaction from women than you wanted.

Here’s how congruence works. Personally, I like wearing trendy/designer glasses. They’re not just for show:

So not only do I look cool, but my glasses invite women to know me better as a person, too. It’s all congruence.

Meeting Women on the Internet

Personally, I wouldn’t recommend meeting women on the Internet. I prefer meeting them face-to-face. At best, I might use the Internet to meet new women, then quickly set up a face-to-face date, and then make the meet-up happen.

That being said, there’s nothing wrong with online dating. In fact, many happy relationships start online. So if you want to give it a try, just make sure you do it right.

Coach Corey Wayne suggests the following tips:

#1: Have fun photos on your dating profiles. Choose photos that show you having fun with other people or being in interesting places. If you don’t have such photos, then find a way take selfies, ask a friend to help you, hire a photographer, etc.

#2: Chat with women liberally. When you come across a woman who seems interesting to you or better yet, if she “Likes” your profile or e-mails you first give her your number and ask her to call you. Sometimes she’ll give you her number and ask you to call, which is fine.

#3: Set up dates ASAP. As soon as you’ve chatted with a woman enough to know she’s someone worth meeting, set up the date right away. You can tell her: “Hey, I think you’re fun, and I love how (insert another compliment here). We should meet up for coffee. When are you free this week?”

#4: Do what works for you. The key is to follow the results. If something doesn’t work for you, stop doing it and try something else. If something DOES work for you, keep doing it and make it even better if you can.

C hapter 12

H er Tests and How to Pass Them

When meeting women, don’t expect to be greeted with open arms. You’ll have to understand that attractive women get approached by LOTS of men. And so the hotter she is, the more she’ll “test” you.

Now, when a woman “tests” you, she’s not really insulting you. She’s merely protecting her reputation. As you might imagine, any attractive woman who readily entertains every guy who approaches her tend to get seen by others as “slutty.” And that’s a label every sane woman wants to avoid.

So if you want to get on her good side, understand this need of hers. Protect her by being discrete. Don’t tell her: “Let’s go to my place and have sex.” Instead, tell her: “Let’s go have a drink at my place.”

That way, if you DO end up having sex, she can tell herself: “I’m not a slut one thing just led to another.”

That’s how you pass her tests.

When She Says She Has a Boyfriend

“I have a boyfriend.” What does it mean when she says that?

Put simply, it means you showed too much interest in her too soon. When she tells you she has a boyfriend, that means you’re faced with five possibilities:

  1. Either she really doesn’t have a boyfriend, and she simply doesn’t feel attracted to you, and wants to reject you without hurting your feelings;

  2. or she DOES have a boyfriend, and she’s loyal to him;

  3. or she DOES have a boyfriend, and she’s loyal to him but she’s open to having sex with you;

  4. or she DOES have a boyfriend, but she’s open to giving you a chance of winning her away from him;

  5. or she DOESN’T have a boyfriend, but she just wants to look like she does.

At this point, you either take on the challenge or take it on the chin. Don’t look disappointed or upset when she tells you she has a boyfriend. Either get into a conversation with her to see which of the five situations above she’s really in, or chalk it up to experience and move on to the next woman.

The M3 Model

The M3 Model is one of the most accurate and reliable models of courtship ever established. It was developed by the legendary pickup artist Mystery (Erik Von Markovik), and it’s a nine-step process grouped into three phases: Attraction, Comfort, and Seduction.

Step #1 (A1) is to “open” the interaction with the woman or group. You can do this directly (by saying “Hi, nice to meet you’), or indirectly (by asking a question).

Step #2 (A2) is to get a woman interested in you. You can do this by telling stories, teasing her, leading her or her group somewhere else, or making her laugh.

Step #3 (A3 ) is to show interest in her. You can do so only when she’s showing a lot of interest in you: Asking lots of questions, teasing you, staring at you, etc.

Step #4 (C1 ) is to have a deeper conversation with her. The key is to find as many common interests, views, and aspirations between you.

Step #5 (C2) is to build that emotional connection with her. You create this “You and me against the world” vibe with her. This can spread over a few dates.

Step #6 (C3) is to get intimate with her. You kiss, then you take her somewhere you can be alone, then continue kissing.

Step #7 (S1 ) is foreplay. You turn up the intensity with more kissing, touching, fondling, fingering, etc but you bite back the urge to have sex right away.

Step #8 (S2) is called the “last-minute resistance” step. This is her last objection to sex, which you can overcome by pulling away first, or by taking a “two steps forward, one step back” approach.

Step #9 (S3) is when you finally have sex. Don’t disappoint her!

The key is to go through all 9 steps in sequence, without skipping any step. Done correctly, this WILL result in a sexual relationship with you either boyfriend/girlfriend or friends-with-benefits.

C hapter 13

H ow to Set Dates

In this Chapter, I’d like to talk about the first two steps of Mystery’s M3 Model. A1 and A2 cover the most important steps of the seduction process successfully opening an interaction.

It doesn’t matter how good you are in bed, or how good you are at conversation, or what a great boyfriend/husband you’d make if you don’t know how to successfully open an interaction, you’re dead in the water.

Luckily, opening a conversation gets easy very quickly if you follow a few simple tips. I personally follow these tips, so I know they’ll work for you, too.

Tip #1: Look for obvious Choosing signs. It is important to understand that women do the choosing. That is why it is of vital importance to always be focused on your mission and purpose. You must simply show up as your best self.

Examples of obvious choosing signs include: Is a woman staring at you? Is she smiling at you? Does she look away when you catch her eye, she you catch her looking in your direction again? These are obvious signs of interest. Don’t waste any time approach her and say hi.

Tip #2: Watch out for less-obvious choosing signs. These include when a woman unexpectedly puts herself in your orbit. She might step into your view while looking in another direction, or pretend to be lost or confused, etc.

Do you catch her glancing in your direct but won’t hold direct eye contact? She may shyly look to you floor if you do make eye contact.

Is she playing with her hair or itch the space between her thumb and index finger. These are ancient biologically developed signs of female attraction.

When this happens, then follow the next tip right away:

Tip #3: Apply the three-second rule. When you spot an attractive woman and decide you want to see if she’s worth your time, approach her within three seconds. If you can’t do that, then forget about her.

Why three seconds? Because when you take more than three seconds to approach her, it means you’re working up the nerve. And women have a sort of “spider sense” in them that tells them you’re working up a nerve to approach them, and it instantly puts them on the defensive and it also communicates that you are not a confident man who is used to beautiful women . which basically kills your chances of having a successful interaction with them.

So before three seconds pass, approach her.

And lastly:

Tip #4: Don’t turn it into an interview. Don’t just answer her questions give funny answers that break the ice, make her warm up to you, and open her up to a deeper conversation later.

Likewise, if you have to ask her a few questions, go right ahead, but don’t stick to the “small talk” questions like “where do you live” and “what do you do for a living.”

Instead, ask her questions to uncover things you have in common. The more common ground you share, the more easily you can move to the other steps in the M3 Model.

Demonstrations of Higher Value

As you meet more and more women, you’ll realize that if you want them to see you as more than “just another guy,” you must set yourself apart from other men somehow.

That’s where Demonstrations of Higher Value, or DHV, come into play.

Women will instantly see you as “special” when you show DHV’s like the following:

What’s your DHV?

False Time Constraints and Getting Her Number

One big mistake many men make is “overstaying their welcome” with a woman. They gab on and on, and she starts wondering just when the hell they’re going to leave. Don’t make that mistake!

The best way to avoid this mistake is to use a technique called “False Time Constraints” in order to get her number.

“False Time Constraints” means being pressed for time or at least pretending to be. For instance, when you tell a woman:

then you’re using a “false time constraint.” And the effect is the same it makes it much more likely for a woman to give you her number.

Compare the three statements above to a straightforward “Can I get your number?”, and you’ll see the power of False Time Constraints in helping you get what you want from women and other people, for that matter.

Women of Beauty are Rarely Found Alone

If a woman is attractive, she’ll most likely in travel in a group. This could be a group with other girls, or a mixed group with guys and girls. And if you want to meet attractive women, you’ll need to know how to approach, and get accepted by the group.

I remember a guy in my University days who could approach groups of people and get them roaring with laughter within moments. I decided to eavesdrop on his approaches to learn his secret.

I realized that he was talking about absolute shit about what he had for breakfast, or what he saw on Animal Planet the other day, etc. But he opened with such confidence and warmth that he got accepted into new groups very often.

The lesson? It’s not what you say. It’s HOW you say it.

Here’s a four-step process to “open” groups.

#1 : First, approach the other people in the group, and not the woman you want to meet. Open the interaction directly (e.g. “So how do you know each other?”) or indirectly (e.g. “Hey guys, can I have a minute? I need your opinion on something?”) Get creative.

#2 : When the woman you want butts into a conversation you’re having with another member of the group, tell her: “I’ll get back to you in a bit.?”, and then turn back to the person you’re talking to and ask something like: “Is she always like this?” The point of this is to lower the defenses of the group and of your intended target and not make it obvious that you are interested in her. In this way once you have been accepted by the group it will be so much easy to isolate your target later on and make your move.

#3 : Then you talk to the woman you want. Be fun and teasing by saying something like, “I don’t think you and I will get along you’re too nice.”

Again, be creative.

Or you can also say: “You’re pretty, but I normally like girls who have a sense of humor, a nice personality, and a little intelligence. You have two out of three, so you’re fine so far.” The point is not to be mean, but to flirt yet at the same time subtlety communicate that you are not desperate for her, you are in control. Also you are a fun guy who does not take things too seriously and you do not seek her approval like most guys do. Most men will put her on a pedestal. You are not most men.

#4 : Once you’ve warmed her up enough, tell the group: “Can I borrow her for a minute? We’ll be right here, I promise.” Then you pull her aside and set up a one-on-one date at a later time, or at least get her number.

When to Call and Why You Call

Here’s the thing: There’s really no fixed rule on “how many days to wait” before calling a woman after she gives you her number. When to call her is totally dependent on how well your first interaction with her went.

Did she seem really interested in you? Then you can wait up to two days to call her. Did she seem NOT too excited? Then you may need to call her much sooner, like the next morning.

The key is momentum you got to keep it going.

How to Set Dates Properly So She Keeps Them

One major problem you’ll need to face in dating is “flaking.” If you don’t set up your dates properly, there’s a high risk the women you meet will “flake” on your date either by canceling the date or not showing up at all. It’s a pain.

Here’s how to set up dates properly so the women you meet will keep them.

#1: Ask for her availability. Ask her: “When are you free?” Then pick a time during her free days to meet her. This approach works because she sets the date with you, instead of you setting everything up and expecting her to comply.

#2: Only date if she’s excited to see you. Remember: You’re the prize here. If you want to see her more than she wants to see you, then it’s probably not worth the effort.

#3: Never accept “maybe.” If she’s not sure about meeting up with you, tell her: “Sounds like you’re not too sure. Just let me know when you’re free.”

She’ll either agree: “Yup, I’ll let you know,” which means she’s not really interested and neither should you be or she’ll change her mind: “No, it’s cool Friday’s fine. Really.”

I remember a woman I dated a few years ago. We had already gone on two dates, and I was working on a third date on a Saturday, where I’d go to her place and cook dinner. She was unenthusiastic, and so I said: “You seem unsure. Let’s do it another time, then.”

A few days later, she changed her mind. So we spent that Saturday together at her home, and let’s just say the oven wasn’t the only thing that got hot that night.

#4: Never “call back to verify.” If she asks you to call her on the day of the date (or the day before) to double-check if she can make it, don’t bite. Reschedule instead: “I guess you’re not really sure about Friday. Just let me know when you’re really free.”

#5: Set the time, date, and place. Tell her where and when to meet, and then wait for her to agree. “Awesome. Saturday, 7PM outside Green Park Station. If something comes up, give me a call otherwise, I’ll see you then.”

If she really wants to see you, she will. Any less than that, and she’s probably not worth your time.

C hapter 14

The First Date

The dating stage is the essential comfort-building stage in the courtship process. It’s where your “game” comes into play.

Your goal should be to give her such a great experience dating you that she goes and tells her friends: “There’s something about him I can’t explain it I’ve never felt like this before in my life.”

Keep in mind that when a woman agrees to go on a date with you, it means she already sees you as an option. You’re a potential lover. so don’t blow it!

The first rule of the first date is to NOT plan anything extravagant and instead keep things simple and straightforward.

Here are a few things you should NOT do on the first date:

Instead, your goal is to give her a date experience that has two elements:

  1. It gives her the opportunity to see you as a confident guy;

  2. And it’s a shared experience like you were “partners in crime.” You’ll want to create a “you and me against the world” kind of vibe with her.

So, here’s what you should do instead: Plan dates that involve activities especially activities that give her a rush of emotions, both good and bad.

Because in the end, she won’t remember the things you did together. She’ll only remember how she felt when she was with you.

Good ideas for first dates include:

The main thing is to be creative and take the lead. You must have a plan for the date, but also be flexible enough to change things on the fly.

Now, just in case the date goes badly at any point such as if she gets hurt or upset by something you said, or she feels offended by you holding doors for her don’t panic.

In fact, don’t apologize for being you, and don’t go out of your way to make her feel better.

Instead, tell her: “You know what, I thought I liked you, and I thought we had a good vibe but maybe we should just end this date.”

And if she doesn’t budge, thank her for her time and end the date then move on with your life.

That’s how it should be.

Now let’s talk about what to do when the date does go well.

How to Keep The Date Interesting

When it comes to having conversations with her during a date, the rule is 30/70. That is, you should do only 30% of the talking maximum while she talks at least twice as much as you do.

Why? Because the goal is to make her feel an emotional connection to you. And the more a woman talks to you, telling you about herself and trying to win your approval, the stronger the emotional connection she feels towards you.

So, ask her questions, and let her answer. Your questions should help you uncover things you have in common with her, which will only enrich the conversation and deepen the connection.

Here are examples of good questions to ask:

Meanwhile, you’ll also want to call her out when she says something silly or obviously false. Tease her about it, but accept her for who she is. This creates the feeling of trust and safety she knows she can’t fool you, but she can “let her hair down” with you, too.

Also, be polite with other people you interact with during the date baristas, waiters, hosts, guides, and so on. It tells her you’re a guy who has his life in order and doesn’t need to “push people around” to feel significant.

Should You Compliment Her?

The answer is “yes,” only if it’s a genuine compliment and gift from your heart but you’ll want to keep your compliments to a minimum. Also, my rule is to only compliment a woman if my compliment is genuine. I don’t agree with flattery it gets you nowhere.

If you do compliment her, be sure your compliment encourages the role you want her to play in your life.

For instance, if you want her to be your confidant in life, tell her she’s a “great communicator.”

Or if you think she has a great body and would like to see her stay in shape, give her compliments like: “Your outfit really compliments your figure.”

Or if you enjoy the fact that she is easy to get along with and would like to see more of that in her, tell her: “I really have enjoyed spending time with you. You’re really fun to be with.”

You get the idea.

What NEVER to Talk About

When you’re doing the talking, here are a few things to NEVER bring up

About Kissing

The great Coach Corey Wayne said about dates!

A date is a fun-filled romantic opportunity for sex to happen. ”

Emphasis added by me. Ideally, your dates will go so well that it’s only inevitable for sex to happen.

And when a date goes so well, the next step on the road to sex is to kiss her. (Duh, right?)

Now here’s the thing: You should only ever kiss a woman for the first time if you’re SURE she’s into you.

Signs she’s into you include touching you, bumping you, grabbing your arm and pressing it against her breasts, etc.

She’s also thinking about kissing you if her eyes keep moving from your eyes to your lips.

She likes you. Now it’s time to move in for the kiss.

Here are a couple ways to escalate onto kissing:

  1. After she bumps you or touches you sensually, say “My turn,” and smell her neck. If she lets you do it, it means she’s ready to kiss you.

  2. Ask her: “On a scale of 1-10, how good of a kisser are you?” If she gives herself a high score, tell her: “I’ll be the judge of that,” and move in for the kiss; If she gives herself a low score, joke about it: “Why? Do you need a tic-tac first?”; And if she tells you she’s not going to kiss you, tell her: “Well, I never said you could ”

If she firmly declines to kiss you for any reason, don’t get upset. Like everything else, it’s no big deal. Enjoy the rest of the date, thank her for her time, and then move on to other women.

The rule remains: you MUST go for the kiss at end of date. If she turns her face so you can kiss her cheek, it means she has no romantic feelings for you. Again, don’t take it personally thank her for her time and move on with your life.

It should go without saying, but you should NEVER kiss her on the cheek first. If you do, it’s a clear lack of self-confidence on your part. If you want her, go for her. Have no apologies for pursuing what you want.

But what if she DOES let you kiss her on the mouth at the end of the date?

Unless she pulls you into her apartment and starts taking your clothes off, it’s best to simply tell her: “I had a great time. Good night,” and take your leave.

That’s it. Don’t promise to call, don’t ask for another date, etc.

Why not? Because most women don’t feel comfortable with the idea of sex on the first date.

At the same time, they don’t feel comfortable going on a second date with a guy who’s OBVIOUSLY after them which is the message you send across when you promise to call or ask for a second date.

So you do neither. You tell her you had a great time and go your own way. Leave her wondering about your true intentions. Leave her thinking about you.

That being said, let me now talk about

Scoring on the First Date

Again, it’s never a guarantee you’ll have sex with a woman after your first date with her. But you CAN do a few things to increase your chances of doing so. Here are a few of them.

#1: Take her to at least three locations on the first date. Remember, it takes about 4-10 hours of comfort-building before she feels comfortable enough to consider sleeping with you. That’s about three dates.

But if you take her to at least three locations during your date, it can register in her mind as going on 3+ dates with you and so the levels of comfort and attraction she feels skyrocket, even if she’s only going out with you for the first time.

#2: Start the date at home. Tell her to meet you at your place. Then let her in for a few minutes, telling her: “I left something in the bedroom,” or “I just need a minute to wrap something up.” Then, after a few minutes, you take her out and start the date.

This lets her become familiar with your place earlier, so she’s more likely to come back to it after the date when you invite her. And speaking of

#3: Invite her to your place after the date. When she’s clearly interested in you (she’s bumping and grinding on you), immediately invite her to your place for some drinks, or a movie, etc. (You’ll get a clue of what she likes during your conversations.)

This gives her plausible deniability or simply an excuse for herself to go back to your place. It’s easier for her to do so when she has other reasons besides sex to go back with you, because after that she could tell herself “it just happened,” or “it was his idea.”

And then, once you’re alone

#4: Go for the kiss soon. You could take a minute to pour a couple of drinks in your kitchen, or turn on some music in your living room, etc but do kiss her soon after you lock the door behind you. After you make out for a few moments, take her by the hand and lead her into your bedroom.

What next? That’s for the next Chapter.

What If She Kisses You, But Will not Sleep With You?

This is actually the most common outcome you’ll probably get, and that’s fine. Remember it may take at least three dates before she gives in to her feelings. Until then, continue the mystery don’t call her within 48 hours after the date.

Sure, you SHOULD set up the next date. Sure, you should date her once a week. But while it’s you who’s initiating contact with her, wait 2-3 days after each date before contacting her to setup the next date.

If your dates are really good, she’ll start wanting to see you more than once a week and so she starts initiating contact with you.

When she does, keep your interactions short; 3-5 text messages back-and-forth tops, or 10 minutes max on the phone. Chitchat for a while, then tell her: “It’s great to hear from you again. I need to go right now though. When are you free? I’d love to meet up later this week.”

Again, it’s important to have more important things in your life than women. Remember, women should never be your #1 priority in life. You need a mission that’s even bigger than women, dating, and sex.

Now, what if she gets mad because you won’t chat with her longer? Be playful, teasing, and charming. Tell her: “You know I miss you. I’ve just been really busy, as always. And I don’t know– maybe I like it when you miss me, too.”

Once in a while, send her a text to let her know you’re thinking about her. But for the most part, she should be chasing you, and never the other way around.

Once she does start chasing you, then it’s okay to date her several times a week as often as she wants and as your schedule allows.

Ultimately, she’ll ask the question: “So what are we?” It’s up to you you can start a real relationship with her now, or tell her you want to wait just a bit longer.

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Successful Seduction

The best kind of seduction is one where you control the place. It’s best done at your own home or apartment, a hotel room, and so on. It’s NOT recommended to bring her to your dorm (which you share with roommates), and definitely not your parents’ house.

(So, if you don’t have at least your own bachelor’s pad now or if you’re not making enough money to check into a hotel anytime you want then you might want to work on that, first!)

Now let’s say you invite her to your place, and she goes with you. It’s time to set the scene for the seduction.

Ask her to help you out as you pour drinks, or light some incense, or close the curtains, or turn on a movie or music, or roll a joint or two. Then start chilling, and then work your way towards the kiss. Start making out.

Now take note: She might resist at some point. That’s normal sex is risky for her, and no woman wants to deal with an unwanted pregnancy. Anything can trigger her resistance anything from kissing to removing her clothes to fingering.

My advice? Don’t get upset. Simply take one step back:

Likewise, if she gives total resistance as in, she stops you from escalating any further don’t get upset. Blow the candles, continue watching the movie, or get something to eat.

Tell her: “Whether we have sex or not, I’m not going anywhere.”

At this point, she’ll either change her mind and let you in or she’ll go all the way with you the next time you go on a date.

Now, let’s talk about

What Sex Means to Her

To her, sex isn’t just the most intimate way you can show each other affection. To her, sex is also the doorway to the next stage of her relationship with you. So if you want her to NOT hate you after sex, you’ll want to pay attention to the tips in this section.

Your focus should be to make her as comfortable as possible. You’re playing you’re having fun. Having sex with her isn’t just about penetrating her it’s also about being emotionally present with her. She sees your joining as almost a spiritual encounter.

So the first time you have sex, keep things simple. Focus on just achieving a new level of physical and emotional connection with her. Save your freakier tricks for the next time you have sex.

The goal isn’t just to sleep with her once. The goal is to make her love it so much that she keeps coming back for more, and things get better and better.

To achieve that goal, you’ll need to make sure that your ejaculation is freely chosen.

That is you should be in complete control over your orgasm. If you don’t have that, you stand a much lower chance of pleasing her.

Think of it this way: If she can drain you, then she realizes she’s stronger than you are and most likely, the world is stronger than you, too. That’s very unattractive, and it can turn whatever attraction she had for you into contempt.

So redirect your attention. Instead of focusing on your own pleasure, focus on hers. Relax. Feel her sensations. Be aware of her signals, her moans, her responses to you. Bring her from one climax to the next.

What If You Cannot Control Your Ejaculation?

Then I’d like to introduce you to NoFap.

NoFap is an online movement followed by thousands of men. The movement’s goal is simple: To help men quit their addictions to pornography and masturbation.

The premise is obvious enough: Pornography and masturbation are unhealthy habits on so many levels. All of it is based on a false promise of happiness and satisfaction it’s a game that never ends, and it has driven millions of men into depression and mediocrity.

NoFap helps men overcome their addiction to porn and tossing by encouraging healthier methods of releasing tension. Some of the more effective methods include:

The rule is simple: You should only release tension via real sex. And that means having sex with a real woman, whether she’s your partner or otherwise.

Most newbies to the NoFap movement usually last around a week before succumbing to their old temptations. But the next time they can try, they can push it to two weeks then a month and then they can control their urges at will.

Successful NoFap practitioners have ended up stronger and healthier and their women couldn’t be happier. Likewise, you’ll gain the ability to control your ejaculation instead of the other way around.

If you can’t control your ejaculation, then do consider doing the NoFap challenge. It’s difficult, but it’s worth it. Start easy by aiming to overcome only your addiction to porn and masturbation. Later on, as you get stronger, aim to overcome fantasizing and reminiscing, as well.

When She Asks If You Have Other Women

At some point in the courtship process often after sex, but possibly even before your woman will ask you if you’re seeing other women.

And that’s a tough question to handle if you’re not prepared for it.

If you say: “No, you’re the only one I’m seeing right now,” it actually does NOT flatter her. In fact, it makes her feel you’re a loser who “got lucky” with her. She feels like she got duped, and her attraction immediately dies.

If you say: “Yep, I see tons of other women,” then quite justifiably, she’ll see you as an asshole. It’s even worse if you talk about the other women it tells her you kiss and tell, and her likelihood of ever sleeping with you goes down the toilet.

So instead, say something like: “I don’t kiss and tell. Let’s just say I’ve had my share, but I’ve never met anyone as intellectual/deep/crazy as you.”

Just keep in mind that (1) she needs to know you won’t ruin her reputation if she sleeps with you, and (2) she needs to feel special to you. As long as your answer satisfies these two requirements, you should be in the clear.

P art IV: R elationships

C hapter 16

Your Relationship: Your Responsibility

Let’s say you met a great woman who liked you too. You went on a few fun-filled dates, all with the opportunity for the sex to happen.

Then that opportunity came, you took it A few months have passed and now you are in a committed loving Relationship.

Congratulations Now what?

Huge Rewards, Huge Responsibility

Obviously, your new goal is to make your new relationship work for a lifetime.

But surprisingly, most guys don’t even think of this. Most guys see the perks of being in a relationship with a woman, but they don’t see the responsibility.

In fact, most guys think of the “job” to make a relationship work as being divided equally between themselves and their girlfriend. They think that whenever relationships fail, half the time it’s the man’s fault while the other half of the time, it’s the woman’s fault.

But nope. While some failed relationships ARE caused by crazy women who have no business being in a relationship, the vast majority are the men’s responsibility.

Here’s why: A failure in relationship means a failure in leadership.

And by now, you should know that the leader of your relationship is you.

If your girlfriend gets upset or unhappy, it means you’re not meeting her needs. And when you disregard her complaints as the “outbursts of a bratty little girl,” it means you’re not really all that concerned in meeting her needs.

So she naturally goes elsewhere to have her needs met.

So let me say that again: A failure in relationship means a failure in leadership.

So How Do You Lead a Relationship Well?

The key is to always be the leader in your relationship. You got to be the strong, dominant, capable guy who delivers on all (or at least MOST) of his promises and who constantly grows and improves himself over time.

But at the same time, while you’re busy meeting her needs and your own, you should also demand respect. Remember, you’re the leader, not the subordinate. You’re the master, not the slave.

You don’t live for her; you live for your mission in life. Your woman should be in submission, she must submit to your mission. In other words, she should aid, assist and support you in fulfilling your mission and purpose in life. She cannot, and should not ever be the mission and purpose.

How to Know You’re Not Ready

Remember one of the core traits you should be developing in yourself is honesty. And a huge part of honesty is about being honest with yourself including when it comes to knowing when you’re NOT ready to handle a relationship.

How do you know you’re NOT ready? Here are a few signs:

If you still have any of the traits above then while you SHOULD keep meeting and dating women, perhaps it’s best if you waited until you’re ready before you got into a serious relationship.

But on the other hand, if you ARE ready and if you’re WILLING to accept the lifelong responsibility, come hell or high water then congratulations.

You’re about to enter the most challenging, character-building, and rewarding phase of a man’s life.

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The Purpose of a Relationship is to Give

Earlier in this book, you learned that every human being is hard-wired to do two things: To survive and to replicate. It’s the most basic driving force of humanity. It’s not sexy, but take either one out, and humanity would be extinct in two generations.

The most beneficial way to achieve these two primal goals is by leading what I call a “give-and-give” relationship.

Let me explain

Give-and-Givee vs. Give-and-Takee

There’s a pervasive idea in the dating world where “a good relationship is give-and-take,” where both partners’ needs are equally met by the other.

Unfortunately, this is a false belief because equality can never be achieved. The moment the “50-50” becomes “51-49,” resentment begins to seep in and the resentment snowballs until the relationship breaks up.

This belief has caused countless failed relationships and marriages in the past century. It makes people, men and women, enter relationships with a mindset of: “What’s in it for me?”

That’s why I recommend a different approach a “give-and-give relationship.” This is a relationship where both partners are constantly giving of themselves to each other, regardless of “equality.”

As a result, there’s nothing to “take” from one another. THAT is the right mindset to have.

Wouldn’t you agree?

Most men today go into relationships with a “taking” mindset. They want what’s coming to them:

Reminds you of the word “Player,” doesn’t it?

My advice: Don’t buy into the “give-and-take” philosophy. It’s a game that never ends. You’ll end up broken and depressed, and so will the women you’ll fail.

Instead, understand that the purpose of getting into a relationship is to give.

Fair warning: A relationship might be more challenging than you expect. It’s one of the heaviest responsibilities you can ever shoulder but that’s no surprise considering you’re keeping the species going.

So here are a few tips to help make the responsibility easier.

That way, you’re psychologically and mechanically ready to handle a relationship. After that, you’ll need to master the “art” of handling a relationship and we’ll tackle that in the next Chapter.

One last question before that: What if it’s too late for you? What if you DON’T have a giving mindset, and you DON’T have your life set up but you’re already in a relationship?

No worries. You’re a human being, and that means you can still grow. You can still start cultivating a giving mindset now, and you can still achieve financial security now.

It won’t be easy, that’s for sure. But then again, nothing worthwhile like a lifelong relationship ever is.

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The Courtship Never Ends

There’s an old joke that goes: “First comes the engagement ring. Then comes the wedding ring. Then comes the suffering.”

Here’s another snide one: “A wedding ring is the smallest handcuffs in the world.”

These jokes are funny. But here’s the thing about these jokes: They’re best told by men who LOVE their relationships, LOVE their marriages, and LOVE their women.

Why?

Because then, it would be purely funny. It’s not done out of spite, which is a sign of insecurity.

It’s like being so confident of your own masculinity that you can joke about it, you’re not fazed by jokes and jabs towards your masculinity, or wear a pink shirt solely because it’s comfortable and stylish.

And so that’s another worthwhile goal to pursue to earn the right to say such jokes. And the best way to achieve that goal and earn that right is to understand and accept a simple fact:

The courtship never ends.

Nor Should It.

Why do most divorces happen?

Most cases cite financial difficulty, infidelity, and other irreconcilable differences. But I’d wager those are just symptoms of the deeper root cause of divorce.

I’d wager the courtship simply stopped at some point and that’s when the relationship started to die.

When you stop courting your woman, the courtship gets replaced by a predictable routine and routine is the bane of all attraction. When there’s no excitement, mystery, or drama there’s no attraction to be had.

So how do you keep the courtship going? Here’s my advice.

The Biggest Perk of an Endless Courtship

The good news?

If you keep the courtship going, then your relationship will never lose its sizzle. The “courtship never ends” ideal becomes literal your relationship will stay as exciting and rewarding as it was when you were still dating.

That alone will make the extra effort more than worth it.

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V ulnerability

There’s this critical element of manhood that’s not often talked about, and sometimes even maligned but it’s extremely important in the pursuit of success and happiness.

That element is vulnerability.

And contrary to what most men think, vulnerability does not mean weakness or softness. In fact, it’s very much the opposite vulnerability builds massive strength, both internally and externally.

This concept is so important that to understand it fully, you’ll need to know what vulnerability is NOT, as well.

What Vulnerability is Not

If you’ve ever followed any PUA (Pickup Artist) guru in the past, you’ll notice that much of their “inner game” teachings revolve around LOOKING tough.

And depending on who you get advice from, there are two reasons for looking tough:

This is one of the countless reasons why pickup artists never end up happy. Like the pursuit of equality, pickup artistry is a game that never ends. Every time you think you’re successful with women, they catch on to you and then dump you and then you start all over again, a little less confident and a little more jaded than the last time.

This is why so many of the previous decade’s “pickup gurus” would now tell you that PUA is NOT the way to go. Look around, and you’ll see that most of these gurus are now “reformed” and now teach their followers how to cultivate REAL masculinity.

And that “real masculinity” includes vulnerability.

What Vulnerability Really Is

Vulnerability is the ability to put yourself in positions where you CAN get rejected. It’s the ability to face large risks often risks that, when they don’t pay off, might ruin lesser men.

These risks might include:

But here’s the critical difference: When you’re in a state of vulnerability, you actually DON’T CARE MUCH about the outcome.

In other words, you’re outcome-independent.

See the difference?

It’s the opposite of being needy, and it’s the opposite of being desperate.

Vulnerability is having the strength to face risks, and the toughness to handle life when those risks don’t pay off.

And this is a crucial piece of the puzzle when it comes to dating and women. When you’re needy:

But when you’re vulnerable, you show her you’re OKAY with rejection. Rejection doesn’t break you like it does other men, and you can handle it because you have many, many other options.

Vulnerability in a Relationship

As important as vulnerability is in a dating context, it’s actually doubly important in a relationship context. That’s because vulnerability brings with it open communication, inner strength, and options.

Yes, options, too. When you’re vulnerable, you don’t tie your happiness and sense of success with your girlfriend or wife. Instead, while you know you would NEVER do anything that might drive her away, you also know that she can leave your life anytime she wants.

And you have to be okay with that. And “being okay with that” is so much easier when you have options or, more specifically, when you know you’ll be just fine if she DID leave you, because you’d be happy either as a newly-single guy or with another woman.

And yes when she knows you have options, she’ll also be careful not to take you for granted. And that makes your relationship even stronger.

So check yourself right now: Are you vulnerable enough? Here are some signs you’re not quite there yet:

The key is to be self-aware. You got to know your habits and traits that are keeping you from developing vulnerability in your life then working aggressively to weed them out.

Now go ahead. List down what’s holding you back, make a plan to get them out of the way, and become a more vulnerable and stronger man.

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T he Five Love Languages

I remember a friend who told me how, on their anniversary, he surprised his wife by decorating their apartment with roses real ones.

There were rose bouquets, rose banners, rose petals in the wine ice bucket everything.

When his wife came home, she was shocked then she started sneezing uncontrollably.

Too late, my friend realized his wife was allergic to certain kinds of flowers, and those roses were one of them.

Then she told him: “Thank you, but if you love me, please get rid of all these flowers.”

And for the rest of the night, he hauled roses out of their apartment while his wife had to spend the night at a friend’s house.

When Love Goes Unappreciated

Have you ever given a huge show of love to a woman, like buying her an expensive gift, or doing her a huge favor that took a lot of effort, or giving her a big hug

but she didn’t seem to appreciate it nearly as much as you expected her to?

That’s painful. And it’s inexplicable you can’t explain why she would NOT appreciate something like that, and so you conclude that she doesn’t love you after all.

Careful, though. It’s never good to jump to conclusions, especially when it comes to love and relationships.

Here’s why: Her “love language” might be different from yours.

What is a Love Language?

In case you haven’t heard of the five love languages before, they were developed and put forward by Gary Chapman in his 1995 book, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.

In the book, Chapman claims that there are five “love languages,” or preferred ways to express love to a romantic partner. These are:

  1. Words of affirmation. This is when you show love by expressing it verbally, through compliments, or by thanking her for the smallest gestures.

  2. Gifts. This is when you show your love by giving her gifts, big or small. This love language is where “the thought counts” the most.

  3. Acts of service. This is when you show your love by DOING things for her. You take out the trash, you wash the dishes for her, or you let her take a nap while you take care of the baby.

  4. Quality time. This is when you show your love by spending quality time with her. You’re fully present you give her your undivided attention while she tells you about her day, about what’s bothering her, and about her opinions in life.

  5. Physical touch. This is when you show your love by hugging her, kissing her, tickling her, playing “tag,” or making passionate love to her.

Chapman claims that every person has one primary love language and one secondary love language.

Now, scientifically, Chapman’s claims can’t really be proven. But his book has remained popular for more than 20 years, and countless happy couples swear by it so it would be unwise to disregard the power of love languages.

What Love Languages Mean For Your Relationship

The key takeaway is this: There isn’t just one way to express love. There are many.

And if you express your love in your preferred love language and your woman doesn’t seem to appreciate it as much as you expected then it’s probably because she doesn’t speak the same love language as you.

That’s also true of her. If she expresses her love in her preferred love language and you don’t show as much appreciation as she expects then she might resent it and feel unloved.

So you’ll need to do two things:

So check yourself, and check your woman as well. What love languages do you speak? What adjustments do you need to make?

F inal Word from the Author

If you’ve never traveled in your life or if you’ve been stuck in one place for way too long then you’ve probably feel the allure of leaving it all behind and seeing the world with no map. Must be fun to travel the world with absolute freedom, huh?

If you’ve ever felt that urge, then let me tell you two things.

First of all, travel is awesome. Nothing opens the mind like it. So if you ever get the opportunity to see the world, do so. It’s one of the best things you’ll ever do in life.

And secondly, never EVER travel “without a map.” That’s just nuts.

I’ve tried it before myself, and it was hell. I got lost, I got mugged, and I spent a short time locked up abroad. It was a nightmare.

Today, I still travel. But this time I bring a map with me. I study my destinations. I make a plan for my trip. And I take all the stuff I’ll ever need.

And as a result, I enjoy every trip I make to the fullest. I never get lost, I never get mugged, and I never spend a minute of my time stuck anywhere I don’t want to be.

Guess what?

The same rule applies to your love life.

This book has given you a “map” of the dating game of all the most important “destinations” to consider.

It has also given you the means to create a plan of action one that will slowly, steadily build the love life of your dreams for you.

And it has given you the skills you need to develop to achieve your goals in the shortest time and the least effort.

If you put what you’ve learned in this book into action, then you won’t “get lost.”

You’ll never get robbed of what you really want in life, nor of what you could truly be as a man.

And you’ll never get “locked up” in a situation you don’t want to be.

And instead, you’ll enjoy women, the dating game, and your relationships to the fullest. And there’s no substitute for that.

Go ahead you have the map. Now go explore the world.

Onwards and upwards,

L evi King

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