It's happening again. We're finding it harder and harder to get together with our friends who don't homeschool. Their afternoons are filled with homework and sports practice and their weekends are busy with shopping, football and soccer games and all the stuff they didn't have time to do during the week. Recently, I called and invited a couple and their kids over for pizza and even over the phone, I could hear the daytimer pages flipping. ( My daytimer is a calendar we got from our oil company. It has nice big squares for each day and pictures of cute kittens on it. Works for me.)
It had to be either after school or on the weekend, of course, for them, and they both work so the weekend would be better. Except that Allen, their son, has soccer practice on Saturday at 11 and his sister, Susan, has soccer practice at 3, so Saturday is no good. Sunday doesn't look too good either this week, because there's an away game for Allen and next week, there's a game for Susan. Hmm, maybe they could squeeze it in next Tuesday from 7 to 9 if the kids don't have too much homework and Bob and Ruth don't have to work late? But they kind of promised to attend that workshop that the PTA is putting on about building better families by doing things together. And then there's the Open House at the school - is that Tuesday or Wednesday or next week - and what about the supplies for Susan's art class that they have to get because the school doesn't provide them?
My ear is numb by the time we get off the phone. We still haven't figured out how to get together and I'm feeling less and less like I really want to, especially after Ruth says, "You know, it'd be a lot easier if you guys didn't homeschool. Then we'd be on the same schedule. It's really hard to coordinate things with you because you don't have a routine like we do." Thud!
Well, wrap me in a calendar and call me dated, but don't tell me we don't have a routine! We do so. As a matter of fact, we do better than that. We have several routines and sometimes they're all playing at once. This week was a prime example, because - as so often happens in spite of my best-laid plans - things happened, but not the way I thought they'd happen.
The Monday that was supposed to be devoted to writing and learning from workbooks turned into the Monday morning spent trying to figure out, without taking out a second mortgage, how to get Son enough hockey equipment to keep him from getting dented or demolished at the SCA youth fighter practices he frequents now. By the time we had found the best buys on what he had needed, it was lunchtime and I hadn't written a word.
Daughter had given up on trying to do her math without my help and had doodled girls glaring and tapping their little feet impatiently all over the 4 times table page. I offered to help her later, but she said she wouldn't be able to think then because she'd be too tired from riding her bike and throwing tennis balls for the dog. I could see her point, so we moved the fours to Tuesday and I went out on the deck to watch her and throw a few tennis balls, myself.
I noticed that the chickadees have come back from the woods and are enjoying our sunflowers. Three of them were dee-dee-deeing and pecking the seeds. I pulled a few weeds so that the cats couldn't sneak up on the birds as easily and sat on the garden bench, enjoying the sunshine. A huge dragonfly - looked like a Piper Cub for Barbie - swooped over the field, getting the last of the midge crop for this year. I hope. You can never tell with midges. I've seen them when I could also see my breath.
Somehow, without me noticing, our maple had decided that it was fall and time to lose the green coloring that masks the red and gold in its leaves. And also without me noticing, lunchtime had arrived, or at least, that's what our stomachs were telling us. While we ate at the dining room table, we realized that our schedule was so out of whack that we might as well throw it away altogether and start on what we'd planned for Tuesday: shopping and libraries.
I took my usual short nap and we set off for two libraries, the craft store and the sporting goods store, where Son bought his hockey gear and Daughter and I embarrassed him by discussing the merits of each of the athletic supporters and cups they had. Who knew they had such a range? And what's with the sizing based on waist size? Sure for the holder, but for the cup? What does waist size have to do with it? But I digress.
As it often does with us when we're out and about, one thing led to another and we didn't get home until almost 8 pm. The geek, who is used to our ways, greeted us with the news that Ruth had called and left a message that Tuesday was out. Friday was a maybe if Allen didn't have to stay after at school to make up a test he had missed because of a dental appointment and why, she wanted to know, weren't we home at supper time?
I called to tell her that Friday was fine for us, but by then, she'd found out that Susan had too much homework to go out on Friday night because she'd decided to take the AP Latin course, after all, so maybe we'd be able to do something during Thanksgiving break. Right! I told her I'd put that on my calendar, but somehow I know it'll never happen. By the time we're basting turkeys, they'll be deeply involved in football or the kids will have projects to complete and band practice or something.
I give up. I guess we'll just have to look for some new friends who don't have the school routine to get in the way of socializing. That way, if we feel like getting together, we can do it during the 40 extra hours a week we have that we wouldn't have if the kids went to school. We may not have a routine, as such, but we do have a rhythm, which is even better. It's the rhythm of life lived without artificial structure just for the sake of imposing structure.
We're in tune with the seasons, but not necessarily with Hallmark holidays. The weather affects us, but learning is never canceled when there's a snow day. We plan our days and are happy if they follow our plan, but we're often delighted when they don't. Except for math and writing, my kids are free to explore what they want to study for as long as they want to. Their learning isn't broken up into hour-long units.
They spend at least half of their daytime hours outside as long as the weather permits and when it gets icy, they still go outside for an hour or two every day. They don't have to ask permission to eat, drink or go to the bathroom, talk to a friend or leave the room. Most importantly, they're always free to drop everything and say "yes" when a friend calls and wants to get together and have a chinwag. Would that our friends who go to school had that option. I worry that they're not getting enough socialization, you know?