Oral sex (like the hand job) is both foreplay and a sex act unto itself if you continue until your lover has an orgasm. Men often bring women to orgasm via cunnilingus before moving on to intercourse. Sometimes women opt to fellate a man to orgasm instead of intercourse. And fellatio is the fallback position when a man loses his erection. Given the popularity of oral sex, it’s hard to believe that back in the 1940s and 50s, when Alfred Kinsey was conducting his groundbreaking research on sexual behavior, that only half of the men surveyed had ever had fellatio and far less woman had experienced the joys of cunnilingus.
You are lucky to be living in the twenty-first century, so perfect your orals.
Step #1: After you have kissed, stroked, and fondled the rest of her body to the point where she is very aroused, get into a position comfortable for both of you. She may lean against pillows either with her legs open, knees bent and feet flat, or with her legs outstretched and open, forming a V. You can lie or kneel between her legs or come in from the side and wrap her leg around your shoulders. Or she can straddle your face and lower her clitoris to your mouth.
Step #2: Gently part her labia. Holding her lips open, lift the clitoral hood. If her clitoris is well back inside the hood—an “innie”—gently run your fingers along the side of the hood to expose the clitoris. (You may have to keep one hand in this position.)
Step #3: Lick the delicate tissue along the sides and above and below her clitoris in long, broad, gentle strokes of the tongue.
Step #4: Experiment with your tongue strokes, paying close attention to her responses. She will let you know how much pressure she wants.
Step #5: Put your lips around the sides of her clitoris. Hold them in a pursed position as you gently suck. Alternate the sucking with licking of the surrounding tissues.
Step #6: If she likes direct stimulation of the clitoris—some women do, some don’t—lick and suck it.
Step #7: Cover the clitoral shaft area with your mouth. Suck gently around the sides of her clitoris. Stimulate her labia with your hand or stroke her inner thighs, tease her nipples, or alternate manual stimulation.
Don’t move your mouth from her clitoris now if she wants to reach orgasm.
After you have kissed,
stroked, and fondled the rest
of her body, get into a position
comfortable for both of you.
If she’s shy about cunnilingus, she may need to feel she’s the one in control, not you. Giving her the power allows her to surrender on her own terms. Become her supplicant.
Kneel before her as she sits in a chair or on the side of the bed. Knead her buttocks softly as you bury your face in her vulva. Inhale deeply, and sigh happily. You are her willing oral servant now.
Begin licking from her knees up to her inner thighs. Manually stimulate her labia, vulva, vagina, and finally her clitoris while you give her thighs little sucking kisses. By the time your mouth surrounds her clitoris, she will have melted into you, inhibitions shed.
“I’ll never forget the first time I ushered a woman into orgasm with my tongue. It was a watershed moment ... both exhilarating and liberating.”
—Ian Kerner, Ph.D., She Comes First
Step #1: Kiss and lick his inner thighs while pulling down ever so slightly on his scrotum. With your finger pads, scratch his testicles. Put his balls carefully into your mouth one at a time. Roll them around. Then, again, ever so gently, pull them down with your mouth.
Step #2: While you’re attending to his balls, run you fingers lovingly up and down the shaft of his penis.
Step #3: Get into a comfortable position, kneeling at his side on the bed between his legs. Or, you can bring him down to the edge of the bed and kneel on the floor. Wet your lips and make sure that they cover your teeth. Run your tongue around the head of his penis to moisten it.
Step #4: Hold the base of his penis firmly in one hand. With the other hand, you can form a circle with your thumb and forefinger—what sex expert Lou Paget calls the “ring and the seal”—to elongate your mouth and prevent him from going in farther than you would like. Use that hand in a twisting motion as you fellate him. Or, if his erection is not firm, you can use both hands (wrapped around the shaft) in an upward twist stroke.
Step #5: Circle the head with your tongue in a swirling motion, and then work your tongue in long strokes up and down his shaft. Now, back to the head.
Step #6: Follow the ridge of the corona with your tongue while working the shaft with your hands, the penis sandwiched between them.
Step #7: Strum the frenulum with your tongue. Lick the raphe. (For more about these areas, see Chapter 4.)
Step #8: Make eye contact with him from time to time.
Step #9: Do at least 10 to 20 seconds of this showy move: Repeatedly pull his penis into your mouth, then push it out, using suction while keeping the tongue in motion.
Step #10: Go back to the head. Swirl your tongue around it. Suck the head. Swirl. Suck. Repeat. Repeat.
Step #11: Follow his lead if he pulls back from stimulation. He’s telling you that he’s going to reach orgasm if you don’t stop.
If you don’t stop, you have two options: Swallow or let his semen dribble out of your mouth.
Swallowing is not really difficult—and he will love you for it. A man feels totally accepted and loved by a woman who swallows his semen.
Position yourself so that his ejaculate will shoot straight down your throat. An easy way of doing this is to lie on your back with your head off the bed. Your mouth and throat will form a smooth line. Have him straddle your face for the elegant finish to the perfect blow job.
Oh, yes, it does to many women.
This is one place where even women who prefer a large penis can see some advantage in a small one. You can easily deep throat the small penis. Your gag reflex is less likely to kick in. And who doesn’t feel like an oral genius when she pulls that off?
If your lover is well endowed, however, just concentrate on the top third of his penis. Supplement that with manual attention to the rest of the shaft, his testicles, and his perineum. Occasionally, adjust your position to allow you to take in all or most of his length.
Here are a few ways to do this:
• Kneel in front of him, bringing your mouth straight over the head of his penis. Now lower your head, taking in as much of him as you’re comfortable with.
• Have him lie on his side. Now you lie beside him with your head at penis level and take him into your mouth. The sideways angle gives you more control because he doesn’t thrust as vigorously into your mouth as he does when he’s flat on his back.
• Lie on your back with your head over the edge of the bed. Have him kneel over you and thrust gently into your mouth. Control the depth of penetration with the ring and the seal.
