SKETCHES IN THE LIFE OF JOHN CLARE
WRITTEN BY HIMSELF AND ADDRESSED TO HIS FRIEND JOHN TAYLOR ESQR MARCH 1821
There is a pleasure in recalling ones past years to reccollection; in this I believe every bosoms agrees and returns a ready echo of approbation and I think a double gratifycation is witness’d as we turn to a repetition of our early days by writing them down on paper on this head my own approbation must shelter its vanity while thus employ’d, by consieting self-satisfaction a sufficient appology. But I am carless of praise and fearless of censure in the business, my only wish being to give a friend pleasure in its perusal for whom and by whose request it is written and as I have little doubt of being able to accomplish that matter those who (strangers to the writer) that it displeases need not be startled at the dissapointment1
I was born July 13, 1793 at Helpstone, a gloomy village in Northamptonshire, on the brink of the Lincolnshire fens; my mothers maiden name was Stimson, a native of Caistor, a neighboring village, whose father was a town shepherd as they are calld, who has the care of all the flocks of the village my father was one of fates chance-lings who drop into the world without the honour of matrimony he took the surname of his mother, who to commemorate the memory of a worthless father with more tenderness of love lorn feeling than he doubtless deservd, gave him his sirname at his christening, who was a Scotchman by birth and a schoolmaster by profession and in his stay at this and the neighboring villages went by the Name of John Donald Parker this I had from John Cue of Ufford,2 an old man who in his young days was a companion and confidential to my run-a-gate of a grandfather, for he left the village and my grandmother soon after the deplorable accident of misplaced love was revealed to him, but her love was not that frenzy which shortens the days of the victim of seduction, for she liv’d to the age of 86 and left this world of troubles Jan. 1. 1820. Both my parents was illiterate to the last degree my mother knew not a single letter and superstition went so far with her that she beleved the higher parts of learing was the blackest arts of witchcraft and that no other means coud attain them my father coud read a little in a bible or testament and was very fond of the supersti[ti]ous tales that are hawked about a sheet for a penny, such as old Nixons Prophesies, Mother Bunches Fairey Tales, and Mother Shiptons Legacy3 etc etc he was likewise fond of Ballads and I have heard him make a boast of it over his horn of ale with his merry companions at the Blue bell public house which was next door4 that he coud sing or recite above a hundred he had a tollerable good voice and was often calld upon to sing at those convivials of bacchanalian merry makings in my early years I was of a waukly constitution, so much so that my mother often told me she never coud have dreamd I shoud live to make a man, while the sister that was born with me5 being a twin was as much to the contrary a fine livley bonny wench whose turn it was to die first for she livd but a few weeks, proving the old saying for once mistaken ‘that the weakest always goeth to the wall.’ As my parents had the good fate to have but a small family, I being the eldest of 4, two of whom dyed in their Infancy my mothers hopfull ambition ran high of being able to make me a good scholar, as she said she expirenced enough in her own case to avoid bringing up her childern in ignorance, but god help her, her hopful and tender kindness was
often crossd with difficultys, for there was often enough to do to keep cart upon wheels, as the saying is, without incuring an extra expence of putting me to school, though she never lost the oppertunity when she was able to send me, nor woud my father interfere till downright nessesity from poverty forced him to check her kind intentions; for he was a tender father to his childern, and I have every reason to turn to their memorys with the warmest feelings of gratitude and satisfaction, and if doing well to their childern be an addition to rightousness I am certain god cannot forget to bless them with a portion of felicity in the other world, when souls are called to judgment and receive the reward due to their actions commited below. In cases of extreeme poverty my father took me to labour with him and made me a light flail for threshing, learing me betimes the hardship which adam and Eve6 inflicted on their childern by their inexperienced misdeeds, incuring the perpetual curse from god of labouring for a livlihood, which the teeming earth is said to have produced of itself before, but use is second nature, at least it learns us patience I resignd myself willingly to the hardest toils and tho one of the weakest was stubbor[n] and stomachful and never flinched from the roughest labour by that means I always secured the favour of my masters and escaped the ignominy that brands the name of idleness my character was always ‘weak but willing’. I believe I was not older then 10 when my father took me to seek the scanty rewards of industry Winter was generally my season of imprisonment in the dusty barn Spring and Summer my assistance was wanted elswere in tending sheep or horses in the fields or scaring birds from the grain or weeding it, which was a delightfull employment, as the old womens memorys never faild of tales to smoothen our labour, for as every day came new Jiants, Hobgobblins, and faireys was ready to pass it away as to my schooling, I think never a year passd me till I was 11 or 12 but 3 months or more at the worst of times was luckily spared for my improvment, first with an old woman in the village and latterly with a master at a distance7 from it here soon as I began to learn to write, the readiness of the Boys always practising urgd and prompted my ambition to make the best use of my abscence from school, as well as at it, and my master was always supprisd to find me improved every fresh visit, instead of having lost what I had learned before for which to my benefit he never faild to give me tokens of encouragment never a leisure hour pass’d me with out making use of it every winter night our once unletterd hut was wonderfully changd in its appearence to a school room the old table, which old as it was doubtless never was honourd with higher employment all its days then the convenience of bearing at meal times the luxury of a barley loaf or dish of potatoes, was now coverd with the rude begg[in]ings of scientifical requ[i]sitions, pens, ink, and paper one hour, jobbling the pen at sheep hooks and tarbottles, and another trying on a slate a knotty question in Numeration, or Pounds, Shillings, and Pence, at which times my parents triumphant anxiety was pleasingly experiencd, for my mother woud often stop her wheel or look off from her work to urge with a smile of the warmest rapture in my fathers face her prophesy of my success, saying ‘shed be bound, I shoud one day be able to reward them with my pen, for the trouble they had taken in giveing me schooling’, and I have to return hearty thanks to a kind providence in bringing her prophesy to pass and giving me the pleasure of being able to stay the storm of poverty and smoothen their latter days; and as a recompense for the rough beginnings of life bid their tottering steps decline in peacful tranquility to their long home, the grave, here my highest ambition was gratifyd for my greatest wish was to let my parents see a printed copy of my poems that pleasure I have witness’d and they have moreover livd to see with astonishment and joy their humble offspring noticed by thousands of friends and among them names of the greatest distinction, the flower and honour of his native country8 surely it is a thrilling pleasure to hear a crippled father seated in his easy arm chair comparing the past with the present, saying ‘Boy who coud have thought, when we was threshing together some years back, thou woudst be thus noticed and be enabled to make us all thus happy.’ About this time, which my fathers bursts of feeling aludes too, I began to wean off from my companions and sholl about the woods and fields on Sundays alone conjectures filld the village about my future destinations on the stage of life, some fanc[y]ing it symtoms of lunacy and that my mothers prophecys woud be verified to her sorrow and that my reading of books (they woud jeeringly say) was for no other improvment then quallyfiing an idiot for a workhouse, for at this time my taste and pasion for reading began to be furious and I never sholld out on a Sabbath day but some scrap or other was pocketed for my amusment I deeply regret usefull books was out of my reach, for as I was always shy and reserved I never woud own to my more learned neighbours that I was fond of books, otherwise then the bible9 and Prayer Book, the prophetical parts of the former, with the fine hebrew Poem of Job, and the prayers and simple translation of the Psalms in the latter was such favourite readings with me that I coud recite abundance of passages by heart I am sorry to find the knowledge of other books shoud diminish the delight ones childhood experiences in our first perusal of those divine writings. I must digress to say that I think the manner of learing childern in village schools very erronious, that is soon as they learn their letters to task them with lessons from the bible and testament and keeping them dinging at them, without any change, till they leave it A dull boy never turns with pleasures to his school days when he has often been beat 4 times for bad readings in 5 verses of Scripture, no more then a Man in renewd prosperity to the time when he was a debtor in a Jail Other books as they grow up become a novelty and their task book at school, the Bible, looses its relish the painful task of learning wearied the memory irksome inconvenience never prompts reccolection the bible is laid by on its peacful shelf and by 9 Cottages out of 10 never disturb’d or turnd too further then the minutes referance for reciting the text on a Sunday, a task which most christians nowadays think a sufficient duty at least in the lower orders I cannot speak with assurance only where expirience informs me so much for village schools About now all my stock of learning was gleaned from the Sixpenny Romances of ‘Cinderella’, ‘Little Red Riding hood’, ‘Jack and the bean Stalk’, ‘Zig Zag’, ‘Prince Cherry’,10 etc etc etc and great was the pleasure, pain, or supprise increased by allowing them authenticity, for I firmly believed every page I read and considerd I possesd in these the chief learning and literature of the country But as it is common in villages to pass judgment on a lover of books as a sure indication of laziness, I was drove to the narrow nessesity of stinted oppertunitys to hide in woods and dingles of thorns in the fields on Sundays to read these things, which every sixpence thro the indefatigible savings of a penny and halfpenny when collected was willingly thrown away for them, as oppertunity offered when hawkers offerd them for sale at the door to read such things on sundays was not right while nessesity is a good apology for iniquity and ignorance is more so I knew no better and it may be said that ignorance is one of the sweetest hopes that a poor man carries to the grave, when his manhood muses oer the exclamation of his dying Saviour, asking and offering the same plea for the worst of Sinners ‘Father forgive them, they know not what they do’11 Clergymen may say tis an enlightend age and when a man can have oppertunitys to hear good from bad every Sunday he has no longer the cloak of ignorance to skulk from iniquity as the west indian and the Cherokee digressions may become tiresome and ill grounded opinions may be reckoned consciets but, while it is pleasant to turn out of the way for a b[e]autiful blossom, tis nothing short of humanity to release the plund[er]ing fox from the snare — hopes unrealized are hopes in reality blessings possesd are hopes no longer tis the weakness and not the fault of nature to throw a cloak over its imperfections when it seeks for heaven as a better place then it posseses A staff to the maimed and a couch to the weary traveller are desirable blessings and usful to wish for as blessings thats wanted.
I have often absentet my self the whole Sunday at this time nor coud the chiming bells draw me from my hiding place to go to church, tho at night I was sure to pay for my abscence from it by a strong snubbing I at length got an higher notion of learning by going to school and every leisure minute was employ’d in drawing squares and triangles upon the dusty walls of the barn this was also my practice in learning to write I also devourd for these purposes every morsel of brown or blue paper (it matterd not which) that my mother had her tea and sugar lapt in from the shop but this was in cases of poverty when I coud not muster three farthings for a sheet of writing paper the saying of ‘a little learning is a dangerous thing’12 is not far from fact after I left school for good (nearly as wise as I went save reading and writing) I felt an itching after every thing I now began to provide my self with books of many puzzling systems Bonnycastles Mensuration,13 Fennings Arithmetic, and Algebra was now my constant teachers and as I read the rules of each Problem with great care I preseverd so far as to solve many of the questions in those books my pride fancyd it self climbing the ladder of learning very rapidly, on the top of which harvests of unbounded wonders was concieved to be bursting upon me and was sufficient fire to promt my ambition, but in becoming acquainted with a neighbour, one John Turnill,14 who was a good mathematical scholar, I found I was not sufficient to become master of these things without better assistance as a superficial knowledge of them was next to nothing and I had no more he kindly enough put me in a plan but cirscumstances soon calld him from me and I luckily abandond the project, not without great reluctance — I was now thought fit for some other employment then th[r]eshing with my father which the neighbours said was far too hard for my weak constitution and the first step taken for my releasment from it was an application to put me apprentice to a shoemaker15 to a neighbour in the town, but this, on my being apprisd of it, I dislikd, for at that time I hardly knew what I liked I was such a silly, shanny boy that I dreaded leaving home were I had been coddled up so tenderly and so long and my mother was determind if I was [i.e. bound to] a trade that I shoud have my choice, far as cirscumstances woud let me, for they coud give not a sixpence with me — however my lot was not for shoe making nor did I ever repent missing it — a next door neighbour, who kept the Blue Bell public house, got me a week or two to drive plough for him, having a small cottage of 6 or 8 acres, and knowing me and my parents he usd me uncommon well his name was Francis Gregory16 he was a single man and lived with his Mother they both used me as well as if I was their own and after I had been there awhile I got used to them they hired me for a year, the only year I livd in hired service in my life my master was of very bad health and dyd a year or two after I left I have reason to drop a good word to his memory my friend John Turnill wrote his epitaph on his grave stone, such as it is; for he used to dabble in poetry tho I saw very little of it — Here I got into a habit of musing and muttering to ones self as pastime to divert melancholly, singing over things which I calld songs and attempting to describe scenes that struck me tis irksome to a boy to be alone and he is ready in such situations to snatch hold of any trifle to divert his loss of company and make up for pleasenter amusments, for as my master was weak and unwell he seldom went to work with me unless necessary as ploughing etc I always went by my self to weeding the grain, tending horses and such like. Once every week I had to go for a bag of flower to Maxey, a village distant about 2 Miles, as it was sold cheaper then at home and as my mistress was an economist she never lost sight of cheap pennyworths in the short days of winter its often been dark ere I got home and even by times dusk before I started I was of a very timid disposition the traditional Registers of the Village was uncommonly superstitious (Gossips and Granneys) and I had two or three haunted Spots to pass for it was
impossible to go half a mile any were about the Lordship were there had nothing been said to be seen by these old women or some one else in their younger days. therefore I must in such extremitys seize the best remedy to keep such things out of my head as well as I coud, so on these journeys I mutterd over tales of my own fancy and contriving them into ryhmes as well as my abilities was able; they was always romantic wanderings of Sailors, Soldiers etc following them step by step from their starting out to their return, for I always lovd to see a tale end happy and as I had only my self to please I always contrivd that my taste shoud be suited in such matters Sometimes I was tracking my own adventures as I wishd they might be going on from the plough and flail to the easy arm chair of old age reciting armours, intrigues of meeting always good fortune and marrying Ladies etc Hope was now budding and its summer skye warmd me with thrilling extacy and tho however romantic my story might be I had always cautions, fearful enough no doubt, to keep ghosts and hobgoblings out of the question what I did was to erase them and not bring them to remembrance, tho twas impossible, for as I passd those awful places, tho I dare not look boldly up, my eye was warily on the watch, glegging under my hat at every stir of a leaf or murmur of the wind and a quaking thistle was able to make me swoon with terror
I generaly kept looking on the ground and I have been so taken with my story that I have gone muttering it over into the town before I knew I got there this has often embarrasd me by being overheard by some one who has asked me who I was talking too? I think I was 13 years of age now but trifling things are never pun[c]tually rememberd as their occurence is never strikingly impressd on the memory, so I cannot say with assurance none of these things was committed to paper this summer I met with a fragment of Thompsons Seasons17 a young man, by trade a weaver, much older then myself, then in the village, show’d it me I knew nothing of blank verse nor ryhme either otherwise than by the trash of Ballad Singers, but I still remember my sensations in reading the opening of Spring I cant say the reason, but the following lines made my heart twitter with joy.
Come gentle Spring, ethereal mildness come
And from the bosom of yon dropping cloud,
While music wakes around, veild in a shower
Of shadowing roses, on our plains desend.18
I greedily read over all I coud before I returnd it and resolvd to posses one my self, the price of it being only 1s/6d I expressd my supprise at seeing such a fine poem so carlessly handld, most part of Winter being gone, but the owner only laughd at me and said ’twas reckoned nothing of by himself or friends’ he and his friends were methodists and he presented Wesleys hymns as a rival of exellence I said nothing but thought (whatever his religion might be) the taste of him and his friends was worth little notice I have since seen plenty of these fanatics to strengthen my first opinion, as some of them will not read a book that has not the words Lord and God19 in it this I assert as a fact to my knowledge and I have always lookd on their concieted affectations with disgust their founder was rather credolous but I believe him a good man and reverence his Memory his followers, both in preaching and practice, have brought his principles into disgrace I have seen plenty to justify the remark. On the next Sunday I started to Stamford to buy Thompson, for I teazd my father out of the 1s/6d and woud not let him have any peace till he consented to give it me, but when I got there I was told by a young shop boy in the street who had a book in his hand which I found to be ‘Collins Odes and poems’ that the booksellers woud not open the shop on a Sunday this was a dissapointment most strongly felt and I returned home in very low spirits, but haveing to tend horses the next week in company with other boys I plannd a scheme in secret to obtain my wishes by stelth, giving one of the boys a penny to keep my horses in my absence, with an additional penny to keep the Secret I started off and as we was generally soon with getteing out our horses that they might fill themselves before the flyes was out I got to Stamford I dare say before a door had been opend and I loiterd about the town for hours ere I coud obtain my wishes I at length got it with an agreeable dissapointment in return for my first, buying it for 6d less then I had propos’d and never was I more pleasd with a bargain then I was with this shilling purchase On my return the Sun got up and it was a beautiful morning I coud not wait till I got back without reading it and as I did not like to let any body see me reading on the road of a working day I clumb over the wall into Burghly Park20 and nestled in a lawn at the wall side the Scenery around me was uncommonly beautiful at that time of the year and what with reading the book and beholding the beautys of artful nature in the park I got into a strain of descriptive ryhming on my journey home this was ‘the morning walk’21 the first thing I commited to paper I afterwards wrote the evening walk22 and several descriptions of Local Spots in the fields which I had frequented for Pootys, flowers, or Nests in my earlychild hood I burned most of these after I got to consiet I knew better how to make poetry others I corrected perhaps 20 times over till their origional form was entirley lost such as the Morning walk now extant I always turn to this years service with F. Gregory as one of the pleasentest occurrences in my existance I was never hurried in my toils for he was no task master or swore at for commiting a fault a gentle chiding he always deemd sufficient for any thing that I might do wrong I believe this usuage and this place to have been the Nursery for fostering my rustic Song after leaving here awhile somthing came into my head that I woud be a gardiner and for this purpose I went with my father to Burg[h]ley, the Seat of one of my kindest benefactors and Patrons, the Marquis of Exeter, to whom at that time and till the publication of my first Vol of poems I was a stranger. we went to the Master of the Kitchen Garden23 as most suitable for my destination of working in future in the village were flower gardens are but little store set bye, as the taste of Farmers turns entirely on profit it may suffice to say we succeeded in getting the wishd for situation. one cirscumstance in appearing before the Master of the garden will show the mistaken notions of grandeur and distinction in a clown that has not seen the world my father as well as my self thought that as he appeard with white stockings and neck cloth and as he was under such a great man as a Marquis he must certainly be homaged as a gentleman of great consequence himself so with all humilitation to his greatness we met him with our hats in our hands and made a profound Bow even to our knees ere we proceeded in the enquirey I accordingly went the next week as a temporary apprentice for 3 years for I was not bound I did not like his looks from the first and to my inconveneonce provd a good phisigionomist in the end, so after I had been here nearly a twelve month I fled from him, for I coud stand him no longer I was very timid and fearful and he was always for sending me to Stamford in the night and swearing at me in his passions for things which were two trifling to be calld faults, tho to give him24 his due he used me better then he had done others before and even after I left him gave me a good word as a still and willing boy on this ramble25 I visited Grantham, Newark etc, and then returnd to my parents, were I commenced Gardiner, but my employment in that character was short, for I liked to work in the fields best the continued sameness of a garden cloyed me and I resumed my old employments with pleasure were I coud look on the wild heath, the wide spreading variety of cultured and fallow fields, green meadows, and crooking brooks, and the dark woods, waving to the murmering winds these were my delights and here I coud mutter to myself as usual, unheard and unoticd by the sneering clown and conscieted cox comb, and here my old habits and feelings returnd with redoubled ardour, for they left me while I was a gardiner I now venturd to commit my musings readily to paper but with all secresey possible, hiding them when written in an old unused cubbard in the chamber, which when taken for other purposes drove me to the nessesity of seeking another safety in a hole under it in the wall here my mother when clearing the chamber found me out and secretly took my papers for her own use as occassion calld for them and as I had no other desire in me but to keep them from being read when laid in this fancied safe repository, that desire seemd compleated and I rarely turnd to a reperusal of them consequently my stolen fugitives went a long time ere they was miss’d my mother thought they was nothing more then Copies as attempts of improving my self in writing she knew nothing of poetry, at least little dreamed her son was employd in that business, and as I was ashamed of being found out as an attempter in that way, when I discoverd her thefts I humourd her mistake a long time and said they was nothing more then what she supposed them to be so she might take them. but when I did things that I liked better then others I provided safer lodgings for them — at length I begun to shake of[f] this reserve with my parents and half confess what I was doing my father woud sometimes be huming over a song, a wretched composition of those halfpenny ball[a]ds, and my boast was that I thought I coud beat it in a few days afterwards I used to read my composition for his judgment to decide, but their frequent critisisms and laughable remarks drove me to use a process of cunning in the business some time after, for they damp’d me a long time from proceeding. My method on resuming the matter again was to say I had written it out of a borrowd book and that it was not my own the love of rhyming which I was loath to quit, growing fonder of it every day, drove me to the nessesity of a lie to try the value of their critisisms and by this way I got their remarks unadulterated with prejudice — in this case their expressions woud be, ‘Aye, boy, if you coud write so, you woud do.’ this got me into the secret at once and without divulging mine I scribbld on unceasing for 2 or 3 years, reciting them every night as I wrote them when my father returnd home from labour and we was all seated by the fire side their remarks was very useful to me at somethings they woud laugh here I distinguishd Affectation and consiet from nature some verses they woud desire me to repeat again as they said they coud not understand them here I discoverd obscurity from common sense and always benefited by making it as much like the latter as I coud, for I thought if they coud not understand me my taste shoud be wrong founded and not agreeable to nature, so I always strove to shun it for the future and wrote my pieces according to their critisisms, little thinking when they heard me read them that I was the author My own Judgment began to expand and improve, at least I consieted so, and thinking my critisisms better then theirs I selected my pieces approvd of by them and even found most of em fit for nothing but my mothers old purposes, for as I kept sorting them over and over there was few that escaped that destiny in the end. what first induced me to ryhme I cannot hardly say the first thing that I heard of poetry that may be called poetry was a romantic story, which I have since found to be Pomfrets ‘Love triumphant over reason’26 by reading of it over since to my father who rememberd the Story, but I coud benefit little by this as I used to hear it before I coud read and my father was but a sorry reader of poetry to improve his hearers by reciting it the relating any thing under the character of a dream is a captivating way of drawing the attention of the vulgar and to my knowledge this tale or vision as it is called of Pomfrets is more known among the lower orders then any thing else of poetry at least with us the Romance of ‘Robinson Crusoe’ was the first book of any merit I got hold of after I coud read twas in the winter and I borrowd it of a boy at s[c]hool, who said it was his uncles and seemed very loath to lend it me, but pressing him with anxious persuasions and asuring him of its saftey while in my hands he lent it me that day to be returnd in the morning when I came to school, but in the night a great snow fell which made it impossible to keep my promise as I coud not get, Glinton being 2 miles from our village were I went to school, so I had the pleasure of this delightful companion for a week new ideas from the perusal of this book was now up in arms new Crusoes and new Islands of Solitude was continually mutterd over in my Journeys to and from school but as I had not the chance of reading it well I coud not come at the spirit of the thing to graft a lasting impression on the memory, which if I had woud perhaps have been little benefit to my future attempts I also got an early perusal of The Pilgrims Progress which pleased me mightily — All I can reccole[c]t of the old book of Pomfrets, which my father used to read to me, was that it was full of wooden cuts and one at the beginning of every poem, the first of which was two childern holding up a great Letter these pictures lured me to make an end of the book for one day I made use of an oppertunity to cut them out and burnt the rest to avoid detection — But to return to the narritive, having made use of my parents critisisms till (as I said before) my consiet fancyd I coud do without em, I ryhmd and read them in secret and my mother giving me a small box to put my books, clothes, etc in, with a lock and key as she said I was now getting a big boy and to learn me how to be saving, she first learned me how to take care of my own things by resigning them to my care with this prudent admonition and advice, ‘You must now, my boy, think of somthing to do you good you must go to service after all if you wish to get on and as you dont like farmers service I will seek a friend that shall get you somthing better so leave off writing and buy no more books, tho I own its better then spending your money in beer, but you want cloths and ought to save every farthing for that purpose I give you this box and you will find it useful when you get from me to keep your few things together when you once get from me you will think nothing of it and you’ll find it far better then drudging at home year after year in the barn and the field for little or nothing.’ this advice however good it might be was but little attended too the box when in my possesion made me an exelent receptacle for my writings and books were they lay snug and safe from all dangers and I continued as hot as ever at reading and scribbling and, as I always looked sullen when my mother talkd of Service, she at length gave up teazing me, tho I have often heard discourse with my father that her hopes were lost and that I shoud never be anything this when heard dampd me a little but I preseverd with my avocations and as they both began to dislike my love of books and writing, thinking it of no longer use since I had determind to stick at hard labour, I pursued it with all secresey possible and every shilling I coud save unknown to them I bought books and paper with my Library about now consisted of the following: ‘Abercrombies Gardiners Journal,’ ‘Thompsons Seasons,’ A Shatterd Copy of ‘Miltons Paradise lost,’ ‘Wards Mathematics,’ Fishers ‘Young mans companion,’ ‘Robin Hoods Garland’, ‘Bonnycastles Mensuration,’ and ‘Algebra,’ ‘Fennings Arithmetic,’ ‘Death of Abel,’ ‘Joe Millers Jests,’ A ‘Collection of Hymns,’27 with some odd Pamphlets of Sermons by the Bishop of Peterborough. — I now began to value my abilitys as superiour to my companions and exulted over it in secret, tho by learing them at school they had the boast of reading and writing better and coud use their compasses at ovals, triangles, Squares etc and talk about plotting grounds etc and many things which, tho I knew a superficial knowledge of, the groundworks was greek to me, but I cared little for these things for I considerd walking in the track of others and copying and dinging at things that had been found out some hundreds of years ago had as little merit in it as a child walking in leading strings ere it can walk by itself when I happend with them in my Sunday Walks I often try’d their taste by pointing out some striking beauty in a wild flower or object in the surrounding senery to which they woud seldom make an answer, and if they did twas such as ‘they coud see nothing worth looking at’ turning carless to reasume their old discourse and laughing at my ‘droll fancies’ as they woud call them I often wondered that, while I was peeping about and finding such quantitys of pleasing things to stop and pause over, another shoud pass me as carless as if he was blind I thought somtimes that I surely had a taste peculialy by myself and that nobody else thought or saw things as I did still as my highest ambition at that time was nothing else but the trifle of pleasing ones self, these fancys coud dishearten me very little while that gratification was always at hand, but a cirscumstance occurd which nearly stopd me from writing even for my own amusment borrowing a school book of a companion, having some entertaining things in it both in prose and Verse with an introduction by the compiler, who doubtless like my self knew little about either (for such like affect to give advice to others while they want it themselves), in this introduction was rules both for writing as well as reading Compositions in prose and verse, were, stumbling on a remark that a person who knew nothing of grammer28 was not capable of writing a letter nor even a bill of parcels, I was quite in the suds, seeing that I had gone on thus far without learing the first rudiments of doing it properly for I had hardly h[e]ard the name of grammer while at school — but as I had an itch for trying at every thing I got hold of I determ[i]ned to try grammer, and for that purpose, by the advice of a friend, bought the ‘Universal Spelling Book’29 as the most easy assistant for my starting out, but finding a jumble of words classd under this name and that name and this such a figure of speech and that another hard worded figure I turned from further notice of it in instant disgust for as I knew I coud talk to be understood I thought by the same method my writing might be made out as easy and as proper, so in the teeth of grammer I pursued my literary journey as warm as usual, working hard all day and scribbling at night or any leisure hour in any convenient hole or corner I could shove in unseen, for I always carried a pencil in my pocket having once bought at Stamford fair a dozen of a Jew for a Shilling which lasted me for years while nessesity as I got up towards manhood urgd me to look for somthing more then pleasing ones self, my poems had been kept with the greatest industry under wishd conscealment, having no choice to gratify by their disclosure but on the contrary chilling damp with fear whenever I thought of it, the laughs and jeers of those around me when they found out I was a poet was present death to my ambitious apprehensions for in our unletterd villages the best of the inhabitents have little more knowledge in reading then what can be gleaned from a weekly News paper, Old Moors Almanack, and a Prayer Book on Sundays at Church, while the labouring classes remain as blind in such matters as the Slaves in Africa — but in spite of what they might say and do, Nessesity as I said before urgd me to think of Somthing my father, who had been often crippled for months together with the rumatics for 10 or 12 years past, was now tottaly drove from hard labour by them and forced to the last shifts of standing out against poverty — My fathers Spirit was strongly knitted with independence and the thoughts of being forced to bend before the frowns of a Parish to him was the greatest despair, so he stubbornly strove with his infirmitys and potterd about the roads putting stones in the ruts for his 5 shillings a week, fancying he was not so much beholden to their forced generosity as if he had taken it for nothing I my self was of a week const[i]tution and a severe indisposition keeping me from work for a twelvemonthe ran us in debt we had back rents to make up, shoe bills, and Bakers etc etc my fathers asistance was now disabled and the whole weight fell upon myself, who at the best of times was little capable to bear it, with the hopes of clearing it off — my indisposition, (for I cannot call it illness) origionated in fainting fits, the cause of which I always imagined came from seeing when I was younger a man name Thomas Drake after he had fell off a load of hay and broke his neck the gastly palness of death struck such a terror on me that I coud not forget it for years and my dreams was constantly wanderings in church yards, digging graves, seeing spirits in charnel houses etc etc in my fits I swooned away without a struggle and felt nothing more then if I’d been in a dreamless sleep after I came to my self but I was always warnd of their coming by a chillness and dithering that seemd to creep from ones toe ends till it got up to ones head, when I turnd sensless and fell; sparks as if fire often flashd from my eyes or seemd to do so when I dropt, which I layd to the fall — these fits was stopt by a Mr Arnold M.D.30 of Stamford, of some notoirety as a medical gentleman and one whom I respect with gratful remembrances for he certainly did me great benefit, tho every spring and autum since the accident happend my fears are agitated to an extreem degree and the dread of death involves me in a stupor of chilling indisposition as usual, tho I have had but one or two swoonings since they first left me In this dilemma of Embaresment which my fathers misfortune with the addition of my own above mentioned involvd us, I began to consider about the method of revealing the Secret of my poetry I had a confidential friend, one Thomas Porter of Ashton-Green,31 a lone cottage about a mile from helpstone, who being a lover of books was a pleasant companion and to whose house I went almost every Sunday for several years our tastes was parrarel excepting poetry he lovd to walk the wood for wild flowers and to pore over old book stalls at a fair such like pastimes to him as myself was the greatest entertainments we coud meet with to him I showd the first Specimen of my talent at poetry but being a bad Judge of it and considering the scirscumstance of its coming from me he said little of it but kept the Secret inviolate I cared little about his reserve in stating his opinion as I knew he understood little to give a just one I askd him if he understood it and he merely said ‘yes’, for he was a strict observer of nature and acquainted with most of her various pictures thro the changes of Seasons this reccomendation was plenty for me as I found his eyes viewd things as mine did and his notice observed them as I expressd them and wether prose or poetry he knew of its merits no further from this time I began to select my pieces and copy them off, for the inspection of sombody that might be a judge but who I knew not or where to apply I a year or two after went to Deeping Fair and applyd to a Bookseller32 there for a book of blank Paper but having none that I wanted he promised to bind me one up and send it, in the mean time seeming half inclined to enquire what use I was going to put it to and I on my part as willing to inform him and being at that time releasd from my timid embarasment of reserve from a free application of Ale in the fair, I bluntly told him my intentions and as he was a printer of that extent of business in having types sufficient to enable him to print a pamphlet or small book now and then when he coud happen of employment he doubtless fancyd I was a bargain, so he wishd to see some of my poems and a while after I took him ‘The setting Sun’ ‘To a primrose’33 etc etc which with doubtless little credit to his taste he seemed to highly approve and we enterd into proposals about the manner most beneficial to get them out and as a specimen of his abilities in printing he shewed me the ‘Life of Joseph’, then in the press printing for if I reccolect right ‘W. Baines Paternoster row London’, which, tho I little understood the elegance of printing, thought it deservd small praise as to that matter but the manner of printing my poems was to me of little consequence to get them printed at all was sufficient so I readily agreed that he was capable of publishing my trifles and the best way for so doing he said was by subscription force puts us to no choice or else I detested the thoughts of Subscription as being little better then begging money from people that knew nothing of their purchase, who when they had got it woud laugh and jeer the writer for jeerings sake, for theres nothing more common then consiet atributing the word foolish to and laughing at what it dont understand, reckoning all vanity thats above the comprehension of its own little knowledge and such was most of the individuals around me which made me decline coming to an imediate agreement, tho want of money was another obstacle that coud not be surmounted just then as he said people must be informed of it before they coud subscribe and that a prospectus of the plan with a Specimen of the poetry etc was quite nessesary, 300 of which he said when I had drawn one up he woud print on a double leaf of foolscap 8vo for £1 for he seemed timid to write one himself, as I proposed, which made me consider him incapable of publishing a selection with any credit to me as my judgment of what woud do etc was worth nothing, but this he woud do at any time wether I saw him again or not if I woud but inform him by letter and send an ‘Address to the Public’ which I knew little about addressing soon after this I left Helpstone in company with an out o town labourer who followed the employment of burning lime, name Stephen Gordon,34 who came from Kingsthorp near Northampton, who got me from home with the promise of many advantages from working with him which he never intended or at least never was able to perform we at first worked for Mr Wilders35 at Bridge Casterton in Rutland the whole addition to my fortunes accumulated here was the acquaintance with a young girl who was destined for my future companion thro this life and a poor mans meeting with a wife is reckoned but little improvment to his condition and particular with the embaresments labourd under at that time we staid at this place till the latter end of the year and then went to Pickworth,36 a hamlet which seems by its large stretch of old foundations and ruins to have been a town of some magnitude in past times tho it is now nothing more then a half solitude of huts and odd farm houses scatterd about some furlongs asunder the marks of the ruins may be traced 2 miles or further from beginning to end here by hard wo[r]king nearly day and night I at last got my £1 saved for the printing the proposals, which I never lost sight of, and getting a many more poems written as ex[c]ited by change of Scenery, and from being for the first time37 over head and ears in love, above all the most urgent propensity to scribbling, I fancyd myself more quallified for the undertaking, considering the latter materials much better then what I had done, which no doubt was the case, so I wrote a letter from this place imediatly to Henson of M. Deeping, wishing him to begin the proposals and address the public himself, urging he coud do it far better then myself but his Answer was that I must do it, after which I made some attempts but having not a fit place for doing any thing of that kind, lodging at a public house and pesterd with many other inconviniences, I coud not suit myself with doing it in a hurry, so it kept passing from time to time till at last I determined good or bad to produce somthing and as we had another lime kiln at Ryhall about 3 miles from Pickworth I often went there to work by myself were I had leisure to study over such things on my journeys of going and returning to and fro; and on these walks morning and night I have dropd down 5 or 6 times, to plan this troublsome task of An address etc in one of these musings my prosing thoughts lost them selves in rhyme, in taking a view as I sat neath the shelter of a woodland hedge
of my parents distresses at home and of my laboring so hard and so vainly to get out of debt and of my still added perplexitys of ill timed love — striving to remedy all and all to no purpose I burst out in an exclamation of distress, ‘What is Life’,38 and instantly reccolecting such a subject woud be a good one for a poem I hastily scratted down the 2 first Verses of it as it stands as the begining of the plan which I intended to adopt and continued my jorney to work, but when at the kiln I coud not work for thinking about what I had so long been trying at; so I set me down on a lime skuttle and out with my pencil for an address of some sort, which good or bad I determind to send off that day and for that purpose when finished I accordingly started to Stamford about 3 miles from me still along the road I was in a hundred minds wether I shoud throw all thoughts up about the matter or stay while a fitter oppertunity to have the advice of some friend or other but on turning it over in ones mind agen a second thought informd me that I had none I was turnd adrift on the broad ocean of life and must either sink or swim: so I weighd matters on both sides and fancied let what bad woud come they coud but ballance with the former if my hopes of the Poems failed I shoud be not a pin worse then usual — I coud but work then as I did already — nay I considerd I shoud reap benefit from disapointment their downfall woud free my mind from all foolish hopes and let me know that I had nothing to trust to but work, so with this favourable idea I pursued my intention, dropping down on a stone heap before I got in the town to give it a second reading and correct what I thought amiss as I found my printer had little abilitys that way, I was feign to do my best at it to escape being laughd at When I got to the Post Office they wanted a Penny as I was past the hour, but as I had none and hating to look so little as to make the confession I said with a little petteshness that it was not mine and that I shoud not pay for other peoples letters the man lookd a little supprisd at the unusual garb of the letter which I was half ashamd of — directed with a pencil, written on a sheet of paper that was crumpled and grizzld with lying in ones pocket so long and to add to its novelty sealed with shoemakers wax. I saw his smile and retreated as fast as I coud from the town in the course of another week 100 of printed proposals came, directed to pickworth, accompanyd with a letter wishing me to meet him at a public house in Stamford on a set day to discuss on further particulars, which turnd out to be nothing more particular then paying him for his printing and when he presented his bill I found he had added 5s /- more to the £1 agreement this led me into his principles of overreaching and encroaching and from that time I considerd him in his true light as being no friend of mine further then interest directed him, which turnd out exactly the case I distributed my papers accordingly but as I coud get at no way of pushing them into higher circles then those with whom I was accquainted they consequently passd off as qu[i]etly as if they had still been in my possesion unprinted and unseen as soon as he got one 100 Subscribers he said he woud begin to print, which after awhile he pretended he had got, so I lost aweeks work to go home and arange matters but when I got there to him he said he coud not begin the book unless I advanced him £15, this was plenty for me I now found the man what I considerd him and determind in my mind he shoud not print it at all tho I said nothing then — I had not 15 pence nor 15 Farthings to call my own then — so I gave up all thoughts of his doing it At this season of difficulty when I was embaras’d over head and ears in debt from down right nessesity I was still playing the fool with myself and coud not help running unnessary expences even then I had been taking the ‘Enquirer’39 by Nos and had consequently ran in debt with a Bookseller to make up the matter this was a Mr Thompson,40 who kept the ‘New public Library’ in the high street, Stamford how to get straight with him I did not know but to let him see I had some prospect in the wind and hoping he woud befriend me in the matter a little by thinking he woud get his money in so doing I sent him 3 or 4 prospectuses with a short note and the names of 3 or 4 Subscribers, but he treated my humble vanity with contempt and told the bearer (Thomas Porter of Ashton) that the money was what he wanted and the money he woud have Mr Drury41 had taken the Shop and seeing the prospectuses, thinking no doubt he might do it with benefit, paid the money immediatly without knowing further of me then what my friend related nor of my abilities then the prospectus specified, for his account of first meeting with the Sonnet to the Setting Sun in MSS is all a hoax and of no other foundation then his own fancy: but wether a mistake or intended falsity I cant justly assert, but I am apt to imagine what I am loth to discover we have all foibles, and be it as it may, I respect him. accordingly from the accidental cirscumstance of seeing the prospectus, he hunted me up on the following Sunday in company with a friend I was not at home then, being at a neighbou[r]s house in the village known as a harmless resort of young men by the appelation of ‘Bachellors Hall’42 the possesors of which being two bachellors, John and James Billings,43 whom I am still fond of visiting as companions tho much older then my self in spite of snarling mischief-makers who woud feignly belye me into discredit for so doing, by pretending nightly depredations are misterously and frequently going forward, such as stealing Game etc etc I never in my life saw any such thing commited there, or any were else, and I woud give it on oath, not only for myself but on the credit of these men, that such calumniators are liars of the vilest and most dangerous class, and that I should always feel myself more safer in the company of my old neighbours then in those of that description But again to our narrative on being fetchd home with the news that gentlemen44 was waiting to see me, I felt very awkard and had a good mind to keep away I always felt and still feel very irksome among superiours so that its nothing now but down right force that hauls me into it however I made my appearence and they both said they had came to become subscribers I thankd them they moreover wishd to see some of my MSS what I had I showd them and they was seemlingly pleasd with them they also askd me on what terms I stood with Henson of Deeping I told them and hinted my intention of leaving him they said little either for it or against it, but to their credit perhaps it may be justice to remark that they observed if I had pledgd my word of honour to him not to break it by any means — I said nothing further about it but thought that as he had broke his word and seemd by his actions to set very little store by honour in the matter that I had little cause to be sticking at that point and shoud be guilty of very small faults if I set as little store by mine on the occasion, for an agreement once found unjustifiable or broken in any part is no longer honourable, while receeding from it is nothing more then Justifying ones self from an error — they said before they left me, at least Mr Drury did, that if I got the MSS from Henson he shoud like to see them and woud then arange matters with me if I pleased and print them without any advancment of money on my part this was what I wanted and just suited me so I promised him he shoud they made ready for starting and Mr Drurys friend invited me to come over and dine with him in the ensuing week but doubtless repenting of his free spoken kindness and thinking if he ‘gave me an inch I shoud take an ell’ by making unasked additional visits and by that means become troublesome, for theres nothing more common here now adays, so he opened the door agen and said ‘If you get the MSS from deeping Mr Clare, we shall be glad to see you if not we can say nothing further about the matter.’ thus ended the exibition of my two proffers of subscription like a showmans touchstone of ‘presto, quick, change, and be gone, soon as the words spoke, the tricks done.’ I was hipt most cursedly at what ended their visit and wishd I had not came home what ever his reasons was for chewing his kindness over again I know not if he by second thoughts fancyied I might be an intruder he afterwards found himself mistaken, for I never paid it even according to his alterd conditions. Drury may make what he pleases of his meeting with me at first if I shoud ever become of that consequence in his opinion to require that notice — he may contradict, add, alter, or shuffle it about in what shape he pleases — here is the plain truth without the least desire to offend or wish to please any of the parties conserned — I respect them on the list of my other friends as far as they are respectable and thats all I can say in this part of the Story or all I care about the consequence. I have one fault which had ought to be noticed, a heated spirit that instantly kindles in too hasty bursts of praise or censure this will be found in my corespondence when I fancy my self injured I cannot brook it, no more then stifle my gratitude when I am under obligations: one flowes as freely as the other nor do I repent it when I am under misconsceptions and accuse wrongfully I shall meet forgiveness; when I do not I neither need it nor require it my spirit of independence I set store by myself and I rest alike careless of succeeding callumniatures who by adducing their consiets as examples may abuse me either for wanting or possesing it just as they please to decide — so be it — tryed friendship shall never find me ungratfull in the end or shifting after benefits — I wish others to see me as freely as I will them, which no doubt plenty of them does, tho under the mistery of false colours — what I have and shall say in this sketch is matured by reflection, so I wish every thing at least the substance to remain as it is written. I shall recant nothing. The same week my mother went over to Deeping and fetched the MSS home again and as soon as I got them in my possesion I started off to Drurys To get the book printed for no expence on my part and a certain sum gaind by it in the bargain was a temptation I coud not let slip when I appeared with them he gave me a Guinea as an ansel or ernest to the bargain and I readily left them and proceeded as he wishd in sending others as I copied them out, with no other agreement then word-of-mouth at that time he praised some gentlemen into whose hands he intended to entrust the MSS uncommonly and I felt very anxious of knowing who the gentlman shoud be but he kept it as a secret a long time and at length told me twas John Taylor45 of London a cousin of his moreover he read me extracts from some of the above gentlemans letters to convince me of his abilities and I deemd it very lucky that such a man shoud fall in the way to correct and supperintend the publication and I have still the happiness to remember that when the thing came to be realized I met with no dissapointment but found the good character of the gentlemen given by Drury was not exaggerated in the least, but on the contrary, many things before unknown to me served to heighten my expectations rather then deminish them — Drury by some jealous advisers, or one how or other, wanted an agreement after a time had expired and wishing to please every body as far as I was able, I with some reluctance signed one with out considering in the least what it might contain for tho it was read over to me I took no heed of it as I knew nothing about such things — but reccolecting afterwards of hearing somthing about not only the present publication then in hand but what ever publications I might be encouraged to publish was all bound and apprenticed to this agreement — this I coud not stand, so I determined to break all such bondages and acted accordingly, and now leaving this long digression of trifleing I shall resume the story of my occupations and labours I continued to work at Pickworth till the winter and then went to Casterton were I stopt a little while again with Mr Wilders till the frost set in that he coud not employ me longer I then returnd home and had a good winters work of Scribbling etc for the forthcoming book after the Spring came on I was sent for again to work for Mr Wilders were I continued all summer till the latter end of the year when a drop of wages against our first agreement made me leave the place My amourous intrigues and connections with Patty,46 the girl before mentioned, now began to disclose dangers which marriage alone coud remedy I was little fit or inclined for marrying but my thoughtless and ram headed proceedings, as I was never all my life any thing else but a fool, commiting rashly and repenting too late having injured her character as well as my own as for mine, I cared not a farthing about it twas bad enough I knew and made ten times worse by meddling lyars but the ruination of one whom I almost adored was a wickedness my heart, however callous it might be to its own deceptions, coud not act the wide mouth of the world was open against her, swallowing every thing that started to discredit her and sounding their ecchos in my ears to torment me and set me against her hurt and vex me it did, but I felt more affection for her then ever and I determind to support her I had that satisfaction on my consience that she was the only one I ever had injured and I had that oppertunity of easing my present trouble by making her amends I therefore made use of it and married her March 16 1820 and my only repentance was that I had not became acquainted with her sooner then I did. I shoud have been as rich had I married 5 or 6 years sooner as I had been while single, for after I grew up I got into many scrapes I shoud other wise have shunned in the company of one I esteemed, for till my arrival at Casterton my dealings with love was but temporary when a face pleased me I scribbled a Song or so in her praise, tryd to get in her company for the sake of pastime meerely as its calld on a Sunday eve a time or two and then left off for new alurements in fresh faces that took my fancy as supperiors — but these trifles, were as innosent and harmless as trifling had I kept free from all others. temptations were things that I rarely resisted when the partiallity of the moment gave no time for reflection I was sure to seize it what ever might be the consequence. still I have been no ones enemmy but my own my easy nature, either in drinking or any thing else, was always ready to submit to persuasions of profligate companions who often led me into snares and laughd at me in the bargain when they had done so. such times as at fairs, coaxed about to bad houses, those painted pills of poison, by whom many ungarded youths are hurried to destruction, like the ox to the slaughter house without knowing the danger that awaits them in the end — here not only my health but my life has often been on the eve of its sacrafice by an illness too well known, and to[o] disgusting to mention. but mercey spared me to be schoold by experience who learnd me better. perhaps its not improper or too insignificant to mention that my first feelings of love was created at school even while a boy a young girl, I may say a child, won my affections not only by her face which I still think very handsome but by her meek modest and quiet disposition, the stillest and most good natured girl in the school her name was Mary47 and my regard for her lasted a long time after school days was over but it was platonic affection, nothing else but love in idea for she knew nothing of my fondness for her, no more then I did of her inclinations, to forbid or encourage me, had I disclosed after wards — but other Marys etc excited my admiration and the first creator of my warm passions was lost in a perplexd multitude of names that woud fill a vol to Callender them down ere a bearded chin coud make the lawfull appology for my entering the lists of Cupid. Thus began and ended my amourous career. My faults I believe to be faults of most people — nature like a bird in its shell came into the world with errors and propensitys to do wrong mantled round her as garments and tho not belonging to her substance are so fastned round her person by the intricate puzzles of temptation that wisdom has not the power or the skill to unloose her nott that fastens them — virtue, or innosence, pretending perfection in this world is to common sense a painted Sepulchre. the mercey of perfection must look on all with many indulgences or the best will fall short of their wishd reward.
In matters of religion I never was and I doubt never shall be so good as I ought to be — tho I am at heart a protestant, perhaps like many more I have been to church [more] often then I have been seriously inclined to recieve benefit or put its wholsome and reasonable admonitions to practice — still I reverence the church and do from my soul as much as any one curse the hand thats lifted to undermine its constitution — I never did like the runnings and racings after novelty in any thing, keeping in mind the proverb ‘When the old ones gone there seldom comes a better.’ The ‘free will’ of ranters,48 ‘new light’ of methodists, and ‘Election Lottery’ of Calvanism I always heard with disgust and considered their enthusiastic ravings little more intelligable or sensible then the belowings of Bedlam. In politics I never dabbled to understand them thoroughly with the old dish that was served to my forefathers I am content. but I believe the reading a small pamphlet on the Murder of the french King many years ago with other inhuman butcheries cured me very early from thinking favourably of radicalism the words ‘revolution and reform’ so much in fashion with sneering arch infidels thrills me with terror when ever I see them — there was a Robspiere,49 or somthing like that name, a most indefatigable butcher in the cause of the french levellers, and if the account of him be true, hell has never reeked juster revenge on a villian since it was first opened for their torture — may the foes of my country ever find their hopes blasted by dissappoint ments and the silent prayers of the honest man to a power that governs with justice for their destruction meet always with success. thats the creed of my consience — and I care for nobody else’s — all have liberty to think as they please and he is a knave that cheats his heart with false appearences, be his opinions as they may — here is as faithful account of myself as I can possibly give I have been as free to disclose my own faults as a meddler is those of his neighbours — and by so doing have doubtless baffled the aims of skulking assasins from throwing weapons in the dark with the force they woud have done had I made myself better then I am. ‘Tell the truth and shame the devil’50
I am
ever faithfully
yours etc
John Clare
To John Taylor Esqr
London
[N14]
Notes
1 Clare has heavily deleted this last sentence.
2 John Cue of Ufford: He was buried, aged 84, on Wednesday, 2 February 1825, as we are told in Clare’s Journal for that date. He had been head gardener for Lord Manners of Ufford Hall. Clare worked with him for some seasons at turnip-hoeing. From him (see p.166) Clare acquired a copy of Leonidas. Victor Hatley in A Northamptonshire Miscellany (1983) identifies him with John Cew, servant, on the Ufford Militia List, 1762.
3 old Nixons Prophesies: Robert Nixon, A True Copy of Nixon’s Cheshire Prophecy (London, 1715). A chapbook of the same kind as Mother Shipton’s Legacy, see below. Such books were published by the Aldermary Churchyard Press, owned by the Dicey family. Mentioned by Clare at B5,82. Several editions are in the Harding Collection, Bodleian Library, Oxford.
Mother Bunches Fairey Tales: See G.L. Gomme (ed.), Mother Bunch’s Closet Newly Broken Open and The History of Mother Bunch of the West (London, 1885). Mother Bunch’s Fairy Tales, printed for S. Maunder, 10 Newgate St. Price Sixpence, 1830, and many editions, several in the Harding Collection.
Mother Shiptons Legacy: See W.H. Harrison, Mother Shipton Investigated (1881): also K.M. Briggs, A Dictionary of British Folk Tales (1970), Part A, vol.2, p.549 and Part B, vol.2, pp.690-1. Mentioned by Clare at B5,82. See also The History of Mother Shipton [Ursula Sonteil], (Coventry, 1815). There are several editions in the Harding Collection.
4 Clare has heavily deleted the preceding ten words.
5 the sister that was born with me: There is no mention of her baptism at Helpston but such occurrence was not uncommon. She was called ‘Bessey’ by Clare. See ‘To a Twin Sister who Died in Infancy’ (Early Poems, i,598-9).
6 adam and Eve: This bible story was very significant to Clare.
7 a master at a distance: John Seaton who held classes in the church vestry at Glinton.
8 the flower and honour: Admiral the Hon. William Waldegrave, second son of the third Earl Waldegrave, later Baron Radstock, had been a friend of Nelson, quelled a mutiny on HMS Latona at the Mutiny of the Nore. He was an ardent evangelical and became Clare’s patron. See pp.54-5.
9 the bible: Clare’s work is deeply marked by his knowledge of the Bible. In particular he wrote many verse-paraphrases of biblical passages. See Later Poems, i, 105-58.
10 Sixpenny Romances: See G. Deacon, John Clare and the Folk Tradition (1983). These pamphlets sold by hawkers were an important part of Clare’s literary tradition. Some of the books to which Clare refers, e.g. Thomson’s Seasons, Defoe’s Robinson Crusoe and Kirke White’s Remains, were published in chapbook editions and it may be to these that he refers.
‘Zig Zag’: probably refers to the story entitled ‘The Man with a Long Nose’ (see Briggs, op. cit., Part A, vol.i, pp.408-9) in which occurs the rhyme:
Did you see a maid running zigzag
And in her hand a long leather bag
With all the gold that e’er I won
Since the time I was a boy yet?
‘Prince Cherry’: The same story as ‘Prince Darling’. See A. Lang, The Blue Fairy Book (New York, 1966), pp.278-89.
11 ‘Father forgive …’: Luke 23:24.
12 ‘a little learning …’: Pope, An Essay on Criticism, 1.215.
13 Bonnycastles Mensurationn: J. Bonnycastle, An Introduction to Mensuration and Practical Geometry, 10th edn (1807).
14 John Turnill: Elder brother of Richard Turnill, Clare’s schoolfellow and first close friend. They were the sons of a neighbouring farmer for whom both Clare and his father worked at various times. There are other testimonies (see pp.49-50 and 68) to John Turnill’s intellectual aspirations.
15 a shoemaker: Will Farrow, see pp.63-5
16 Francis Gregory: Proprietor of the Blue Bell Inn, kept a few animals and had about six acres of land under the plough. He suffered from ill health and died in 1811 soon after Clare left his service. See pp.66 and 72.
17 Thompsons Seasons: James Thomson’s Seasons (1730).
18 Come gentle Spring, …: The opening lines of ‘Spring’.
19 the words Lord and God: See p.307 note 181.
20 Burghly Park: Burghley House, just South of Stamford, the home of the Marquis of Exeter, one of Clare’s patrons.
21 ‘the morning walk’: ‘A Morning Walk: Ah, sure it is …’. See M.C. pp.153-8.
22 the evening walk: ‘Recollections after an Evening Walk: Just as the even bell rung …’. See Early Poems, ii. 326-8.
23 the Master of the Kitchen Garden: See pp.73-4 and 76.
24 Clare has written ‘his’.
25 on this ramble: See pp.76-7.
26 Pomfrets ‘Love triumphant over reason’: Revd John Pomfret, Poems on Several Occasions (London, 1746), pp. 15-33.
27 ‘Abercrombies Gardiners Journal’: John Abercrombie, The Gardener’s Pocket Journal or Every Man his own Gardener. In Clare’s library, items 89 and 90 are Abercrombie’s The Gardener’s Companion (1818), and his Practical Gardener (1823). See D. Powell, Catalogue of the John Clare Collection in Northampton Public Library (Northampton, 1964, hereafter referred to as Powell).
‘Wards Mathematics’: E. Ward, The Elements of Arithmetic … In five parts (Liverpool, 1813).
Fishers ‘Young mans companion’: George Fisher, The Instructor: or Young Man’s Best Companion (1763).
‘Robin Hoods Garland’: This was a popular chapbook containing songs and had many publishers. One copy is no.29 in the John Johnson collection in the Bodleian Library. It was published at price 6d. by Dicey who also published the Northampton Mercury. His distribution routes for chapbooks ran through Peterborough, Stamford, and Boston.
‘Death of Abel’: S. Gessner, Death of Abel, trans. F. Shoberl, n.d. but probably 1814. Much of Clare’s Eden imagery may have been derived from this work. Selections from Gessner were also published as a chapbook.
‘Joe Millers Jests’: Another famous chapbook, e.g. Joe Miller’s Jest Book; forming a rich Banquet of Wit and Humour (1834). It dates from the Elizabethan period.
‘Collection of Hymns’: Perhaps John Wesley, A Collection of Hymns, for the use of people called Methodists (1825). See Powell, item 393.
28 grammer: see p.33.
29 ‘Universal Spelling Book’: Daniel Fenning, The Universal Spelling Book; or, a New and Easy Guide to the English Language (1756) was a popular textbook and reached its 71st edition in 1823.
30 Mr Arnold M.D.: Thomas Graham Arnold practised at St Martin’s, Stamford and attended Clare at John Taylor’s request in spring, 1824. See Letters, pp.290-2.
31 Thomas Porter: See also pp.51, 67 and 107. Thomas Porter of Ashton, with the Turnill brothers, were Clare’s closest boyhood companions.
32 a Bookseller: J.B. Henson of Market Deeping. See pp.55-6 and 102-6. He was also a preacher and a publisher of chapbooks, though we have not been able to find surviving specimens of his work. There was a Henson, printer of broadsides (see Northampton Public Library and Madden Collection, Cambridge University Library), of 81 Bridge St, Northampton, but he seems to have been George Henson, possibly a relation of Clare’s would-be publisher.
33 ‘The setting Sun’: See Early Poems, i, 150.
‘To a primrose’: See Early Poems, i. 182.
34 Stephen Gordon: Drakard’s Stamford News, 18 April 1823, records his death, ‘On Monday, in St. John’s, Stamford, Stephen Gordon, lime-burner, aged 45.’
35 Mr Wilders: Wilders kept the New Inn at Casterton and had kilns there and at Ryhall and Pickworth.
36 Pickworth: The lime kiln at Pickworth was restored in 1992.
37 Clare has heavily deleted ‘for the first time’.
38 ‘What is Life’: See Early Poems, i, 392-3.
39 ‘Enquirer’: The Boston Enquirer, 1811–13 (see Powell, item 199). This subscription is mentioned, p.107.
40 Mr Thompson: Thompson was an attorney and married the daughter of Richard Newcomb, owner of the Stamford Mercury. Edward Drury acquired his bookselling business in 1818.
41 Mr Drury: Edward Drury of Lincoln, bookseller, publisher, friend of Peter De Wint and William Hilton and cousin of Taylor. After a brief stay in Stamford he returned to Lincoln in 1822.
42 ‘Bachellors Hall’: The scene of many a convivial evening for Clare, it still stands No 17 Woodgate, Helpston.
43 John and James Billings: See pp.51-3. They shared Clare’s fondness for chapbooks. Clare wished to raise money for them from some of his writings.
44 gentlemen: Edward Drury and Richard Newcomb. See pp.107-8.
45 John Taylor: (1781–1864) Publisher and bookseller, he had served with James Lackington and with Vernor and Hood. He had previously assisted in the publication of Robert Bloomfield. He founded the London Magazine and was also the publisher of Keats, Hazlitt, Reynolds, Cary, De Quincey, and Landor. See E. Blunden, Keats’s Publisher (1936) and T. Chilcott, A Publisher and his Circle (1972).
46 Patty: Martha Turner, whom Clare married in 1820.
47 Mary: Mary Joyce, daughter of a farmer at Glinton, and Clare’s first love.
48 ranters: Primitive Methodists. See Mark Minor, ‘John Clare and the Methodists: A Reconstruction’, Studies in Romanticism, 19, Spring 1980.
49 Robspiere: Robespierre (1758–94), instrumental in 1793 in sending many to the guillotine, met the same fate in 1794.
50 ‘Tell truth … the devil’: This quotation could be attributed to Hugh Latimer, Ben Jonson, Rabelais or Shakespeare.