Connecting to the other side, becoming the medium for someone who has passed on or died a physical death, is not an automatically guaranteed skill when developing your psychic gifts. There are some people who are natural mediums, meaning they are born with the ability to talk to those who have transitioned on, and usually can do it for themselves as well as others. For the most part, though, when attempting to increase your psychic gifts you may find you have to practice connecting. If you’ve discovered you have a strong aptitude working with energy, there is a high probability you are already channeling information, possibly without being aware of it. Mediumship is, at its core, the channeling of messages and data from the other side.
How to Connect
Connecting to deceased loved ones on the other side is similar to connecting to our guides, but usually, if we are doing it for someone else, we have no personal bond to them. While we may have a relationship with our client or the sitter we are reading for, that’s probably where the union ends. This, I have found, can often make it easier to get a pure connection to the dead we are trying to bring through because we have no preconceived notions about them and no idea who they were when they were alive. If we know the person who passed or information about them, it can be more difficult or you may pull through information that’s tainted with your own judgments or feelings toward that deceased person. We tend to try to rationalize what they’d want to share or what kind of person they were. Not knowing them allows an unadulterated reading.
One key ingredient to tuning in to the dead is to be open to speaking with whoever is coming through. Now, this must have limits, of course. When communicating with the other side, you want to be sure you speak with positive spirits, letting nothing with harmful or negative intentions come through. Usually you can accomplish this by simply stating your intentions. If you still feel there is negative energy, tell it to go away. Say it in your mind but also aloud. Let the energy know you will not, in any way, entertain it and you won’t communicate with them. Order them to leave. However, if you are trying to connect to someone else’s deceased loved ones, it is possible that negative entity is there for them. Ask. They may have been negative or had negative energy around them when they were alive, so that may be how they show up. Be direct that you will only speak to them if they show up without the intent to harm you or the person you are reading for. Clear of any toxic energies, you are free to open your psychic senses to receive messages from your clients’ deceased loved ones or your dead loved ones.
Another significant ingredient to mediumship is to allow that we don’t always know how we are going to connect. We can create the space for them to come through, as in during a reading, but it doesn’t dictate how they will show up. I’ve had many people come through in many different and unexpected ways. Some people will immediately share how they died and some will tell me their name or their initial. Other times the person coming through will share something about their life before they passed, or they will communicate something about the person they are there for. And, yet still, they might show up with a random reference that’s difficult to immediately recognize.
I was at Barnes & Noble doing a book event and the audience was fantastic! Rather than just doing a signing, we practiced using our abilities during a workshop. Everyone participated, and we had a great time. The thing that perplexed me was no one asked about their dead people. This was unheard of! I mean, honestly, if I had a psychic medium on stage who was taking questions, I would absolutely ask if any of my peeps were there. But, this group was very polite.
“Okay. Does anyone have any final questions before we wrap this up?” I asked them.
They proceeded to ask me questions about tuning in to their psychic gifts. I answered them and then asked, “I can’t believe none of you are going to ask me if your loved ones are here. Don’t you want to know?” I chuckled.
Immediately people started asking about their relatives, after explaining, “We didn’t want to bother you or be rude!”
They were so concerned with not bothering me that they didn’t inquire about their loved ones, but the loved ones weren’t so worried about it! They wanted to come through.
The first question I got was simple, “Who, if anyone, is here for me?”
I answered the audience and brought through a bunch of people they were able to recognize. Although every dead person is different, mostly they come through with simple messages of love or something to let their loved ones know they are around. Up to this point, this time was no different. Then, I tasted something strange.
“Sour cream? Does anyone have a connection to sour cream?” I asked, incredulously. I could taste it on my lips. Then I heard the actual words: sour cream.
“Nope. No. Not that I know of!” I heard in response. I kept trying.
“Hmmm, could it be cream cheese? Did someone have nachos before they came? Or Mexican food? I can’t really think of anything else. I think it’s sour cream, though … I can taste it!” I continued, with a grin. “I know it doesn’t make much sense, but feel like sour cream is significant.”
The group just laughed—no one claimed the message.
I said to them, “That’s okay. Just take it with you. Hopefully, someone will get it, eventually! Either that or it is a premonition that we should have some yummy Mexican food for dinner!”
We giggled a bit at my expense and wrapped up the event. I began signing books and card decks that people were purchasing. As we worked through the line, my patrons asked more questions and we had discussions about how their personal psychic abilities were showing up. As we talked, I noticed a woman hanging back. I could tell she wanted to talk alone.
When all the others left, she came up with her friend to have their books signed.
“Hi! Did you enjoy the seminar?” I asked them both.
“Yes, very much!” they agreed, unanimously.
“That’s great. I’m glad! So … what’s going on?” I knew she had something to say.
The woman gave me a nervous laugh and said, “I just wanted to tell you I figured out what you were talking about.”
As she told me her eyes welled up.
“Oh, good. Do tell.”
“My granddaughter died recently. Toward the end of her life she couldn’t eat anything, so we put sour cream inside her lips so she could at least taste something. I can’t believe I didn’t realize what you were talking about,” she said, teary-eyed.
“Yes, you did, it just took a couple of minutes. Your granddaughter was letting you know she is around and she appreciated what you did to help make her last days better,” I shared with her.
Suffering a loss like that is never easy, but knowing they are never far helps, as it did for this grieving grandmother. None of us want to sever our connections to our loved ones. We crave them. We need them. We want to know they are around. That is why some people will do just about anything to keep their bond alive. Top on the list? They will go to see a medium and hope the psychic can bring them through.
Connecting to the other side, and more specifically to a person on the other side, can be tricky but it can be developed. An important thing to remember is trying to force it won’t make it happen. Practicing silencing your mind will help you more than trying to will it to happen. Quieting your thoughts and bonding with your own spirit are prerequisites to being able to connect to someone else’s spirit. Learning to differentiate between your chatter and messages from the deceased will support your quest for advancing your psychic skills, and stilling your mind can be the beginning.
Exercise
Silence Your Mind and
Connect to Spirit
Meditating to silence the mind is not always difficult, but creating a stillness while remaining open to spiritual contact can be tougher. To begin, go somewhere you won’t be disturbed for at least a half hour and bring your journal. Make sure there are no noises, such as music, ringing phones, or barking dogs. Once there, lie down and get comfortable.
Close your eyes and breathe deeply. Focus on your breath. Feel the air as it travels in through your nose. Hold your breath before exhaling and feel the oxygen as it travels through your torso and down your limbs. When you breathe out, notice how your head and face feel. Continue breathing, in and out, concentrating on how your body feels as you do.
Now, listen. Listen with your ears, and with your body. Hear any noises and release them. Feel any physical vibrations with your body and let them go. Listen to your surroundings, hear every sound there is, and then free yourself from it by quieting your mind even more. Liberate yourself from every external sound and vibration. Inhale deeply again, and listen to how it sounds, what you hear as you exhale. Keep breathing until you hear nothing but your breath.
Now, listen inside your mind, listen to the silence. Let every thought escape, leaving only stillness. Inhale again and listen as the oxygen mingles with your blood cells, traveling throughout your body, and into your face and head. Exhale and feel the silence surround you. Let go of your conscious thought. Remain here until you are content in the stillness of your mind and body.
Then, when you are ready, breathe again. Imagine you have antennae curling out of your head. These antennae reach out to connect to the energy on the other side. You can tune the antennae like you can tune a radio. Go ahead and tune the antennae to connect to the other side. You can fine-tune them as needed.
Now that you know what stillness sounds like and feels like in your mind, listen for spirit. Continue breathing and on the exhale pay specific attention to any sounds you hear other than your own breath. Ask for someone from the other side, with the highest intentions, to send you a message or a thought. You can ask who it is, but it’s more important to ask for a simple sign that they are there. Let them share with you, don’t force it. You want the message to be pure. Listen. Feel.
Breathe in again and listen. Exhale and fine-tune your antennae. Ask for more. Be ready to listen to whatever messages, sounds, or feelings come through. Then, do it again. Keep doing it until you are sure it is not your own thoughts or imaginings that you perceive. Breathe again. Stay in this space, linked to the other side for as long as you are comfortable.
Once you are done, turn off the antennae, coiling them back up until you’re ready to use them again. Come back to the quiet of your own mind. Relish in the stillness for a bit and enjoy the peace and solitude. When you are ready, take another breath and open your eyes. Grab your journal and record anything you received, even if you’re not sure what it was or what it meant or even if you think it was your imagination. If you didn’t receive anything, do you think it was because you couldn’t quiet your mind enough? If so, keep practicing. This may take some time to accomplish.
We are constantly distracted by so much. With the chaos of life and the cacophony of sound around us, it can be very difficult to tune in to the other side. Creating a still and relaxed state makes it easier to cross the barrier. Don’t be discouraged if you had a hard time working the exercise. You can repeat the lessons as often as you’d like.
Intuiting Evidence
To be sure you are indeed connecting to deceased loved ones of the person you are reading for, you need to provide evidence. This is not necessary to determine your truth or whether you are intentionally lying. There are no medium police. Rather, it helps to increase your self-confidence and the belief that you are actually doing it. It also provides your sitter with the proof they need to feel the bond with their loved ones. Evidence can be initials or names, something they were recognized for, or a special thing that makes your sitter say, “Wow! How could you possibly have known that?” There are no set rules about what the evidence is, but you want to receive it and present it as clearly as possible.
Getting the evidence you’re looking for is not always possible, however to be sure you are really bringing through someone’s grandmother you must be able to tell them more than just, “She loves you.” This, though it may be true, is way too generic. You need evidence to demonstrate to your client and yourself that the person you’re linking to is who you think it is. I am not one to prove to anyone that psychic ability is real just because they are challenging me, but if you are doing a reading, you do need to substantiate that you have a true connection.
I was teaching a webinar recently with my sister. It was about using intuition to empower yourself. Toward the end of the seminar we asked for questions. Ronette asked a common question. “What does my grandmother want me to know?”
Immediately I saw a fleeting image of a car. Then I saw an image of a fence. I got distracted for a moment while teaching because many questions were asked at once by multiple students. But when it came back around I told Ronette about the fence.
“Does that mean anything to you? Is it something personal? If you don’t understand the fence as literal, it may be symbolic.”
I waited to see if she wrote anything in the online chat room of the webinar. Nothing. I continued with the reading, intuitively knowing there was something to it.
“Symbolically, fences are either barriers to something or are about making the decision to jump. In other words, choosing which way to go. In your case, I do feel like you’re in the middle of trying to make a lot, and I mean a lot, of decisions. I feel like your grandmother was there for the fence and she is there to help you with all your decisions. She is telling you to trust your intuition. Your instincts about the fence were also right. She said she helped you. She is still helping you with the choices you need to make—you need only ask her. But, she reiterated that she helped you with the fence!” I told her.
She didn’t seem to connect right away, but then I saw she wrote she was dealing with a lot of decisions.
“I do have a lot going on right now. I’m in the middle of a bunch of things I need to decide on and I’m having a hard time. I’m glad my grandmother is there to help me!” she wrote.
“Great! But, hold on to the fence thing. I have a feeling you will understand more about the fence later,” I assured her.
We continued the seminar and closed it down. A couple of hours later I received an e-mail from Ronette.
“Melanie, I just have to tell you I figured out what the fence was about! Yesterday, I pulled into work, parked my car, and went inside. I must have left my manual car in neutral without the emergency brake on and it rolled backward, through the parking lot, took a turn, and crashed into a fence. It didn’t really hurt anything, just a scratch, and it avoided all the other cars. It is almost impossible for my car to have ended up hitting the fence the way it did. It was like someone was driving it in reverse through the parking lot and then took a sharp turn into the fence. My daughter saw it yesterday and said how the heck did it not just roll straight backward and hit a group of mailboxes. My boss stated after it happened that it appeared as if an angel was behind the wheel of my car.”
Wow, and her grandmother had said she was there, helping her with the fence situation. So, as frequently happens, the fence played a double role for Ronette’s reading. It was literal, and it was symbolic. I tell my students and clients all the time to look at both meanings in readings as we don’t want to discount one or neglect one for the other. Ronette was right in the middle of a bunch of life-changing decisions, and her car had literally hit a fence. This, along with a few other things more specific to her grandmother, like her incredible age (she was 112 when she passed!) and her very strong personality, was evidence that she really had come through.
There are many ways to offer evidence. The aha moment is big, and that usually causes the person you’re reading for to open wide and acknowledge many other things you may bring that otherwise might have been overlooked. For example, imagine Sam came in for a reading. Before telling Sam that his brother Charlie was there in spirit, you talked about Fords and granola. It meant nothing to Sam, but it’s what his brother had driven and eaten for breakfast every morning when he was alive. When you then told Sam his brother was here, he was able to connect to the messages—they were evidence of Charlie being there. Expect to get evidence, because you can ask for it. Don’t demand it—solicit it; request it.
Exercise
Find a friend or even a stranger who wants to connect to someone who has passed, but don’t let them tell you anything about anyone you may connect with. Ask that someone come through who was a friend or loved one, so you can validate your information after your exercise, preferably with information you wouldn’t know. You want to be somewhere you can relax and have some privacy and quiet for a bit of time. Make sure you bring your journal; you will need to write your evidence down. Before you begin, set the intention that no harmful or dangerous spirits can come to you, only those who are helpful and optimistic, filled with constructive and encouraging messages.
As always, get comfortable and breathe deeply. Close your eyes when you are ready. Continue relaxing, inhaling positive energy, exhaling anything that no longer belongs to you. Feel the energy of your breath traveling through your body, creating a tranquil response, calming you.
Now imagine you’re standing in the woods with the sunlight dappling through the trees, reaching down to send you light. You can feel the warm leaves and the moss under your feet. The earth is reaching up sending you energy to connect you to the universe. As you take a step, you feel the light fill you up. Keep walking; as your feet touch down each time, you receive more light flowing through you. As you look down at your hands, you see them glowing, illuminated with energy.
There is an opening to a cave in front of you. There is green grass all around the opening, and flowers emerging from the earth. The cave beckons you with healing energy. Step inside and sit down on the ground, feeling the dry dirt underneath you. Place your palms facedown, and feel the vibrations of the earth. Look up to the top of the cave and see an opening directly above you that reaches all the way to the sky and beyond.
Imagine the top of your head, your crown chakra, opening wide, ready to connect to the other side. Feel the pulse of the universe as you tap into the energy of the deceased. The cave is there to keep you safe and to bring the energy in through the opening, straight down to you. Only those with the most affirming and helpful intentions can come through. Reach up with your mind and call in a soul from the other side that wants to share a message through you for your sitter. When you feel like you have a connection to someone, you can begin asking the following questions:
• How old were they when they passed? If you don’t get a distinct answer, you can ask for a decade (i.e., 1–10, 10–20, 20–30, and so on).
• Were they male or female?
• What did they look like? Did they have any distinguishing features like tattoos or birthmarks?
• Were they a friend or a relative of the person they are bringing messages for?
• How did they die? Was it a quick or a slow death? A natural death or an accident or even a murder? An expected death or a surprise?
• What did they do when they were alive? Did they work? Student? Retired?
• Did they have any hobbies?
• Were they known for something specific?
• What is a specific memory they share with your sitter?
• What is something they can share with you that happened in your sitter’s life after their passing?
• Is there anyone else on the other side that is connected to your sitter, including pets as well as people that have passed? Was anyone there to greet them when they crossed over or have they greeted anyone who has passed since?
• Why did they come through? Is there a specific reason?
• Do they come through often?
• Do they have a message to give the sitter?
• Do they have a message for you?
• Is there anything else they want to share?
Finally, thank the deceased for coming through.
When you are all done asking the questions, take a deep breath and open your eyes. Did you get answers to your questions? Write down everything you received, and then record any additional intuitive feelings, thoughts, or visions you had. Discuss all the information you received with your sitter. Remember, don’t leave anything out or discount anything—it’s not for you, it’s for them. Go through your entire list before they respond to you. Make sure they are wide open to receiving messages from even unexpected sources.
How did it feel to connect? Did you feel like it was your imagination? Did you feel confident that you were connecting to the other side? Did you get enough detailed evidence to relay to your sitter? Are they able to validate the information you received? Do they know who it was that came through? Did you receive any specific messages?
Having these questions helps you to access information. This list can be used to facilitate your connection to the other side each time you do mediumship. Requesting the particulars allows you to gain the evidence you need to confirm you are truly linked in. Leaving it open to receive a link to anyone connected to your sitter can sometimes make it easier to tune in to someone. Having a certain person to connect with sets your intention more specifically, but will not always work.
Transfiguration in Mediumship
Transfiguration is an interesting form of mediumship. Essentially, it is a visual metamorphosis of the face of the medium or sitter into their spirit guide or a deceased spirit. It is a way to recognize who is coming through. This is accomplished by using spirit energy or ectoplasm, which is a spirit energy you can see, sometimes in the form of mist or something thicker. You may have heard of this in the movie Ghostbusters, in which they trapped the ectoplasmic ghosts in their machines. Even though this was a comedy, it had a basis in truth. Diana Palm, medium and author who practiced and witnessed transfiguration at Arthur Findlay College in England with physical and trance mediums, shares in her book, “Transfiguration occurs when a trance medium raises their vibration and allows spirit to draw ectoplasm from their body to show themselves in a mist-like substance in front of them. Ectoplasm is something all living beings have and it has been referred to as spiritual energy.”8 Physical mediums allow a spirit to manipulate their energy and the energy of physical objects to come through.
Many mediums will use transfiguration to physically show their sitters or their audience who is coming through. Others, like myself, will view the guides and deceased loved ones on the face of their sitter. This is what happened the first time I ever used transfiguration in one of my client sessions.
Phoenix had come in for a reading. The session was a normal session and I received messages in the way I was used to. All my psychic senses were employed to give her the information from the other side. After discussing her past, present, and future, she was interested in connecting to whoever wanted to come through. So, I asked my guides to bring her spirits to the surface. Usually when I do this, I receive symbolic messages or a word or two that I share with my client that provides them with their aha moment. This is pretty normal in most readings. I give the evidence I receive to the sitter, but this time was different.
“Okay, I’m going to try to connect specifically to your peeps on the other side,” I told her, “though, as always, I’m not sure who will come through.”
I looked at Phoenix as I asked to bring someone through for her, and I noticed her face changing. The more I stared at her, the more I noticed it transforming and physically changing her face, as though someone had overlaid a tight-fitting image upon her skin. This had never happened before during my sessions.
“I’m seeing an older woman, she looks to be Native American. She has long dark hair and a sharper, longer nose. Her skin is darker than yours, a dark tan, and I see she has a large turquoise necklace on. She has dark eyes with crinkles around them, otherwise known as laugh lines,” I giggle.
I waited for an answer from her as I stared, somewhat mesmerized, at the face that had morphed over hers.
“Wow, I can’t say that we have any Native Americans in our family. I’ve never heard of that lineage in our family tree at all, as a matter of fact,” she responded, kind of disappointed.
As she spoke I could see the face of the woman still superimposed on hers.
“I know many people have Native American guides, but I don’t think that’s who this is. I believe it’s your relative, a couple of generations back. She is not really telling me anything other than she wants you to know she is with you and can help you in some way,” I tell her.
“All right, though I don’t really think she’s here for me. Or maybe she’s my guide and not a relative. Maybe you’re just getting it mixed up,” she replied, in a nice but definitive way.
“Well, I’ve been off before. After all, this is not an exact science. Hold on to it and take it with you. I think you’ll figure it out eventually,” I counter as my client’s face reappears and the Native American woman slowly dissipates.
I know what I saw, and I could have been wrong, but I didn’t think so. I did the best I could and decided to let the universe sort the rest out. If it was important, Phoenix would discover it—or not. Either way, I knew I saw something amazing during that session. The woman was real, of that I was certain. We would have to see how she was connected to Phoenix.
The next day I received an e-mail from my client. She had relayed the information about the reading to her mom and asked if they had a Native American connection. Her mother told Phoenix that this was a huge revelation. Generations back, there had been rumors that Phoenix’s great-great-great-grandfather had an affair with a Native American woman. Everyone denied it. Soon, he had a daughter with his wife. But, the family secret was that the Native American woman died during childbirth and the baby was adopted by Phoenix’s non-biological great-great-great-grandmother. No one ever knew it wasn’t hers. The woman who showed up in Phoenix’s reading turned out to be her Native American biological great-great-great-grandmother, which also explained Phoenix’s baby boy’s darker features.
This session turned out to be an incredible turning point for me. Having the ability to recognize transfiguration opened another technique to be used in both psychic readings and mediumship. Once you recognize this is possible, it allows you to access the deceased in a whole new way.
Phoenix was not aware that her deceased relative had used her face to help me. She played no conscious part in the transformation, but it allowed me to see her relative in a different way. Sometimes, transfiguration will occur this way, where the sitter has no idea it is happening. Other times they can, with intent, allow their relatives to use them to aid in recognition. Also, the medium can offer their own faces to be used to help their clients physically see their deceased loved ones by allowing them to superficially impose their image upon the psychic.
Exercise
For this exercise you will need a partner. Try to find someone or a group with the same curiosity as you, who wants to expand their mediumistic abilities. Get together and form a circle. You will be the medium first. As the medium, you will allow the transfiguration to occur on your face. After that, the sitter(s) will have their own guides and loved ones transform their faces. (Another way to practice is to use a mirror. This is a great option if you don’t have a partner or if you want to try to call in your own deceased loved ones.) Dim the lighting in the room. If it’s convenient, turn off the lights and use candles. Sometimes this makes it easier to view the metamorphic changes.
Have everyone relax, close their eyes, and call their loved ones in. Ask that only positive energies come forward. When you are ready, you can begin. As the medium, you will be channeling the energies and allowing them to use your physical body to show themselves. This may be somewhat draining, so it’s important for you to breathe deeply to keep the oxygen flowing. Open your chakras and feel your spirit reach out to the other side, calling forth the spirits of those connected to your guests. Relax yourself and close your eyes. Inhale and imagine you’re in an art classroom. All around you are your sitters, your audience. When you feel comfortable, say these words out loud:
“I am here to act as a channel for the deceased loved ones of my audience to come through. Please, one at a time, use my face as your canvas and allow my audience to help bring you through. I am opening myself for you to alter my physical appearance temporarily, so my sitters may view you and recognize who you are and who you were when you were alive. Please, gently transform me now, one soul at a time. Thank you for allowing me to share your messages as well.”
Now relax and open your eyes. Imagine you are painted by the loved one coming through. Feel their energy on your face and ask if they have any messages for their loved ones. Also ask for a name or an initial to share with your audience to help them recognize the spirit who has superimposed their features onto your face. Look to your audience and share whatever information you have. Ask them if they recognize the messages you bring through and ask if they recognize your face.
Take turns bringing through as many deceased loved ones as you have sitters by allowing them to paint their faces on yours. When you are done and have shared all their messages, it is time to switch roles. While still acting as the medium, ask that they come through and appear on their loved ones’ faces. Look to your audience, one by one, and see if you are able to witness their transfiguration. Then share what you view as well as any messages they share with you.
When you are done, have everyone take deep breaths and open their eyes if they are not yet open. Discuss, in depth, the messages that came through and the faces you saw. Was it easier to view the loved ones when they appeared on your face or on the sitters’ faces? Was your group able to see faces on your face? Were they clear? How did it feel to allow spirit to distort and change your energy this way? How did it feel for your sitters?
If you couldn’t accomplish this, don’t fret. This can be extremely difficult for some. It can be tough to channel someone to begin with, but to transform your faces can be even harder. Transfiguration, on the other hand, may prove to be one of your favorite ways to connect, especially if you are a natural clairvoyant. Either way, don’t give up on this method of mediumship. Try it with other people, possibly one-on-one instead of with a group, or vice versa. Also, try it without a partner by using a mirror and allow your deceased loved ones to use your face as their canvas to show you they are there. As with any developing gift, it may not happen immediately—practice often, and you will find it will become easier.
Closing Your Psychic Gifts
Leaving yourself wide open to mediumship in any form when you are not specifically trying to communicate with the other side or working as a medium can establish a pattern that generates unwanted and untimely communications. Learning to close it down sufficiently is a significant part of doing mediumship. It’s also a responsible part of tuning in to your psychic gifts. You don’t want to allow just anyone or anything to come through when you are not tuned in. But, sometimes it does happen.
I was at an overnight goddess weekend event. There were a lot of women there and the following day I was scheduled to do about six hours of private readings. I was in bed, writing of course, and it was very late, about 2 a.m. I was sharing the room with two other women, and one of them, Lynn, was in bed already, like me. I was thinking about the readings I was going to be doing the next day and sending the universe a message that I wanted to be able to connect well.
All of a sudden, I started getting information. I didn’t want to tune in then, and I didn’t try to. I think my guides and Lynn’s guides and loved ones had the bright idea to jump-start her reading.
“Lynn,” I began.
“Yes, Melanie?” she responded. I had a feeling she knew what was coming. This wasn’t the first time it had happened with Lynn. Her deceased loved ones had a habit of showing up.
“Okay, well here we go. I’ve got some people here for you … are you ready?” I asked her, already knowing her answer.
“Yes, of course I am!” she eagerly responded.
Lynn was used to this and was very open to receiving messages; in fact, she loved when this happened.
“Who are the M names?” I asked her. “These women are here for you.”
“Both M’s are my grandmothers. Anything else?” she replied, with total nonchalance.
“Well, I’m getting an R to go with it,” I answered.
“Yup, that’s Grandma Meredith’s last name. Anyone else hanging out?”
I told her I was going to tell them to come back during her reading the following day, that I didn’t want them to come to me now.
“Ugh. They’re not going away. Who are all of the S and C names? There’s like a total of six!” I continued. “Go to sleep, Lynn! Tell them to leave me alone—I have to write!” I joked.
“Hey, you’re the one who’s talking to them. And yes, there are four Ss and two Cs. You are right on,” Lynn laughed.
“Ha! All right, go to sleep—now!”
“Okay, but I’m not the one calling them in!” she chuckled.
I was quiet for a minute, writing some more, trying to ignore the image I kept seeing. Finally, I couldn’t hold back anymore.
“What’s with the cowboys? Is someone a cowboy? Or do they wear a cowboy hat or boots or something?”
“Yup. Most of my family lives in Texas—they are cowboys,” Lynn said, cracking up. “Now, you go to sleep!”
I laughingly told her we would have to wait and see whether anyone decided to come back through during her upcoming session. At that point I was able to shut it down by asking them to leave, and I turned off my computer and lay down.
In this instance, being open to her loved ones the night before the reading was something I created because I asked for a good connection during the sessions I was scheduled to do the following day, including one for Lynn. But, after joking with Lynn a bit, I was able to put them on hold until her official reading to come through. They listened and revisited us with even more messages. When you focus your intent on doing mediumship and working with your psychic abilities, you are vulnerable to visitations. If you feel overwhelmed, or like you are wide open, you can always shut it down. You don’t want to close yourself off entirely, but you need to let the spiritual realm know they are not to come through unless you ask or if there are extraordinary circumstances.
Exercise
Go somewhere quiet. You need to shut down your link enough so you will stay protected but available at the same time. Take a few deep breaths to relax. Close your eyes and relax more deeply.
Imagine a big sunflower-like showerhead above your head, shining a brilliant and sparkly silver. Out of that showerhead comes a gentle but continuous energy rain. Now, think about how the energy flows in from the universe, through your crown chakra, down your body, getting interpreted and digested in all your chakras, and in the goosebumps along your body. This is how you connect to everyone—even the other side. You know it feels amazing; it is cleansing and exciting. Allowing this energy to flow through you and around you feels incredible, and you know you are at one with the universe. But, you are also getting information about situations, people, and those who’ve passed. If you let this continue unchecked, it will overwhelm you and take over your life.
There is a way to slow down the flow of information you receive. Just as you can open yourself to receiving more, you can reduce the stream so you can focus on your physical life, too, without being interrupted by spirit. Imagine reaching out to a shower knob in front of you. Turn it clockwise as far as it can go. This will open the valve and let the energy pour in and around you. Relish in this feeling for a moment. Pay attention to what it feels like, what it looks like, what it sounds like, and even what it tastes like. Notice anyone or anything that comes through, whether sharing a message or just goose bumps to make you aware of the energetic presence.
Now, turn the knob as far counterclockwise as you can. It may feel as though you just closed yourself off to the world, which essentially, you are doing. You might experience a sense of overwhelming isolation. When this feeling becomes too claustrophobic or too oppressive, reach out and turn the knob, slowly, clockwise again, until it feels comfortable. You want to find a good balance between allowing yourself to feel connected versus feeling overloaded.
It’s up to you to choose how open you want your shower of energy to be. The more open, the more information will pour in. When you feel you’ve adjusted it to the ideal setting, open and closed just enough, you can take a deep breath and open your eyes.
You can control the flow of information with this exercise. Use it whenever you feel you are too exposed or if you are having a hard time connecting. Often, the people you are with will automatically raise or lower your frequency which adjusts your flow. You’ll have to tweak it to accommodate for their energy. Again, where you have your faucet set will not stay constant. You may find you need to modify your settings to adapt to your surroundings.
Not everyone who is psychic will be a medium, though all mediums are psychic. Being a medium requires you put aside any preconceived ideas of the person trying to come through, as well as the person you are reading for. If you are trying to connect for yourself, it may be a bit more difficult. Chances are you know the person you are trying to connect with and that alone can make it harder to avoid pulling from your memories. But, when you ask for evidence and you receive it in some way, you will know you are connecting. Knowing there are specific questions you can ask to help provide you that evidence you need is a prudent way to access that proof. Seeing someone’s face morph into who you are trying to connect to can also be an amazing way to demonstrate who you are communicating with. Mediumship can be extremely draining, so you want to be able to slow the flow of information down and control when you are open to the other side. Protecting yourself allows you to sustain your energy when you are ready to connect. Knowing how to protect yourself will also help keep you safe while traveling through lifetimes.
8. Palm, Diana. Mediumship Scrying & Transfiguration for Beginners: A Guide to Spirit Communication. Woodbury, MN: Llewellyn Publications, 2017.