We live in a world in which we take stress for granted. Too many deadlines, not enough time, too many interruptions, not enough quiet, too much technology, not enough simplicity, too much work to do, not enough leisure time ... and the list goes on. Although we may not always be able to avoid the things that cause us stress, we can influence how we respond to them. But before we look at how we can manage our stress, we first need to understand how stress works.
When you encounter a situation that you perceive as threatening in some way, your brain sends signals to your body along the sympathetic nervous system. Your body prepares to deal with the threat by releasing the hormones cortisol and adrenaline (epinephrine), which speed up your heart and your breathing, slow down your digestion, increase your blood pressure and cause your muscles to tense. This is the so-called “fight or flight” mechanism. After the threat has passed, the parasympathetic system reverses the fight or flight responses.
We need a certain amount of stress in our lives to stop us becoming bored and to enable us to do our best in “performance situations”, such as giving a speech or taking an exam. However, stress becomes a problem when our fight or flight mechanism is permanently switched on, preventing the parasympathetic system from bringing our bodies back into balance. This imbalance plays havoc with our physical and emotional wellbeing, triggering a chain of symptoms, such as muscle pain, insomnia, fatigue, sadness, heart palpitations, heartburn, diarrhea, nausea, anxiety, teeth grinding and headaches. In the long term, chronically elevated levels of cortisol and adrenaline can compromise your immune system and predispose you to heart disease and strokes.
Anything can be a source of stress to you if you perceive it as such. By the same token, if you can manage your perception of potentially stressful situations, you can stop stress from escalating out of control and affecting your health. As optimists perceive events in the most positive way possible, it follows that they tend to be particularly adept at resisting the negative effects of stress.
A major piece of research conducted by the psychologist Suzanne Kobasa in the 1970s underlines the importance of a positive attitude in managing stress. She studied a group of business executives over the course of eight years and observed that the executives who were best able to cope with work pressures possessed a set of traits she described as “hardiness”. Hardiness has much in common with optimism – its main components are: a sense of commitment to involve oneself in meaningful activity; an internal locus of control over events; and the ability to approach a situation as a challenge rather than a problem.
By developing an optimistic attitude, using the techniques presented throughout this book, it follows that you will find fewer situations stressful. For example, seeking positive meaning in ostensibly negative events (see pp.70–73) enables you to stay committed to your goals despite any setbacks. Making a plan to face up to a fear (see p.67) gives you control over something that previously controlled you. Using creative techniques to overcome an obstacle in your way (see pp.58–61) helps you to rise to the challenge.
However, even optimists feel the strain from time to time. When you are under stress, the challenge is to switch off your fight or flight mechanism, and to proceed to allow your parasympathetic system to induce what the mind–body medicine pioneer Herbert Benson termed the “relaxation response”. The problem is that, whereas the fight or flight mechanism is triggered automatically, we often have to remind our bodies to deploy the relaxation response.
One approach is to do some exercise, to provide an outlet for pent-up adrenaline. It doesn’t have to be particularly strenuous – even a brisk walk would help to dispel some tension and to give you some respite from the source of your stress. With its emphasis on regulating breathing and relaxing tense muscles, yoga (see p.79) is another good option. You can also reduce your adrenaline level by cutting down your caffeine intake.
Meditation (see exercise, p.111) is a great method for slowing down your thoughts and your breathing, enabling you to replace an agitated state of mind with calmness. Similar to meditation, autogenic training involves projecting a sense of ease onto tense parts of your body. Lie down for 10 minutes and focus on each tense area in turn. Say to yourself, for example, “My arm feels heavy.” Sense your previously knotted arm muscles feeling relaxed and heavy. Keep repeating the affirmation “My arm feels heavy” for about a minute before moving on to the next part of your body.
“Control and change” is a means of identifying your stressors and deciding how to stop them being stressful to you. First, make a list in your journal (see pp.36–9) of the things that you find stressful. Next, divide the stressors into two groups: those you can change and those you cannot. For each stressor in the first group, write down what you are going to do to change it. For example, if the untidiness of your home is making you edgy, you might plan out a weekly housework routine or hire a cleaner. For stressors beyond your control, write down a way of avoiding them or changing your attitude to them. Perhaps you are stressed by the traffic on your way to and from work – you might work from home some days or see whether you can alter your working hours so that you are travelling at a quieter time. If neither of these is possible, use your commuting time positively, perhaps to prepare for the next phase of your day. Remember the Serenity Prayer: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”