When we think of attaining success, we often think of achieving a specific goal. Whether it’s landing a new account, getting a promotion, or being offered a certain salary, we think that with just one more achievement we will feel successful.
But people do not change their assessments of themselves following an achievement. People react to the larger picture.
When you land the account or get the promotion or a raise, the same nagging concerns that led you to think you desperately needed one more achievement will undermine the value you place on that achievement.
Ultimate success neither comes with nor rides on your next achievement. Feelings of success come with the whole of your efforts, your beliefs, your experiences, your life. Success is based on the total package, not the ribbon on the package.
They don’t travel in private jets and limousines. There are no roadies to unpack their equipment. They make no outrageous demands for huge dressing rooms or pampered treatment.
The members of the band Rustic Overtones are just happy to play their alternative rock music in clubs across the country. And when they are finished playing for the night, they pack up everything themselves in their rusty van.
Rustic Overtones plays 250 shows a year, has had its music played on 200 radio stations, and has sold 34,000 copies of its cds.
But the band doesn’t have a contract with a major record company, and much of its pay for gigs is used to offset travel expenses.
Will they make it? Drummer Tony McNaboe and the rest of the band certainly hope so, but he explains, “If you don’t enjoy every minute of this, then you’re in the wrong business. We play for crowds, we play for each other, we’ll find a street corner and play for people walking by. We love making music, and whether we get a big record contract and headline a big sold-out show or not, we’ll be making music.”
An event may be crucial in the short term, but researchers find that people’s enduring self-concept—their view of who they are and what they are capable of—is not tied to any single positive or negative event. Instead, a self-concept is composed of a combination of beliefs and feelings based on long-term experiences both at home and at work.
Black 1999