Nobody likes to be criticized. And to some extent, everyone displays some measure of defensiveness, the impulse to reject any and all criticisms by denying their validity or undermining the messenger.
Unfortunately, defensiveness does not serve you. It encourages you to ignore potentially useful feedback, which inhibits your ability to improve.
Know that you are capable, and show it. But do not fight criticism merely because you can.
Ed made it to the executive level—vice president of sales for a well-established communications company. A bad year in sales hit the company hard, and layoffs reached all the way to senior management personnel.
Ed found himself sending out resumes for the first time in twenty years.
What he experienced was all manner of rejection—from being completely ignored to being told he was overqualified for the position he applied for. “I could do some of these jobs in my sleep. I couldn’t believe I was sitting in front of some pip-squeak in human resources needing their approval,” Ed said.
“My friends were sympathetic, but they told me I needed a new attitude. Knowing I should have these jobs and then treating the process as if it was beneath me was not going to convince anyone I was the right person for the job.
“They were right, and until I got past what I felt like doing and began to see what I should be doing, I didn’t get anywhere.”
Ultimately Ed, and his new approach to things, landed a job—ironically, in human resources.
Defensiveness is negatively correlated with learning on the job. People with highly defensive personality traits speak more times in meetings, are more likely to interrupt a speaker, and are one-fourth slower in adapting to new tasks.
Haugen and Lund 1999