You need confidence to succeed. You’ve seen that, you’ve read that, you know it. But your self-esteem must be built on a foundation of self-respect.
All of us will suffer blows to our self-esteem when we fail. Regardless of how strong our beliefs are, negative outcomes will shake us.
That is why you must realize not just how capable you are, but who you are. When events undermine your self-esteem, you must have faith in yourself that is unquestionable, undeniable. This faith in your integrity and your humanity will survive any attack based on a failure or even a series of failures. It will give you something to start from as you rebuild your self-esteem.
Peter Shane is the dean of the University of Pittsburgh Law School. He tells his graduates that after learning the law, and even achieving confidence in themselves, their education is not complete. “You will need more. You will need courage, especially if you are going to be a leader in the settings where you live, work, and worship. If you advocate change, you will have to understand that there is no change so small that it threatens no one.”
The dean tells students that the world is filled with temptations to “cut corners” and to take “the path of least resistance.” To overcome, they must see their actions as examples for others. “There is no greater measure of the example you provide as a leader, as a lawyer, as a citizen, or as a parent than the decency with which you treat other human beings. This is true whether you’re dealing with a friend or foe, colleague or opponent, superior or subordinate.”
If they follow this path, Dean Shane tells them, “You will have the luxury of looking back on a life well lived.”
Self-esteem, by itself, does not predict success. In fact, those with particularly high self-esteem are 26 percent more vulnerable to the consequences of failures and setbacks because of the devastating effect negative outcomes can have on their self-image.
Coover and Murphy 2000