We often see stories of inspiring people and wonderful successes. Some of us put their pictures on our walls or clip notable quotes from them. But what does that do for us if the inspiring person has done things we will never or could never do?
For many of us, the choice of a role model invites comparison, and if our abilities and outcomes do not measure up, the role model serves not as an inspiration but as a source of frustration and defeat.
Choose as your role model someone who has accomplished something you can accomplish and something you want to accomplish. There is tremendous value in using co-workers or family members whom you admire rather than famous athletes, leaders, or historical figures, who have experienced great successes but whose experience has less in common with yours.
Heidi Miller has served as the chief financial officer for the multinational financial giant Citigroup and later for the Internet sales business Priceline.com.
While she made her steady climb through the corporate world, each step brought her further into isolation. Her old friends dismissed the corporate calling: “You’re going to work for a bank? You’re such a traitor.” Meanwhile, her colleagues were not terribly supportive. “I felt marginalized,” Heidi lamented.
She knew that if she was having trouble finding the support she hoped for, no doubt many others like her were going through the same experience. That’s why she founded Women and Company, an association of businesswomen who meet periodically to share their exploits and offer support and positive examples for one another. Heidi finds the group “fabulous because it is so reassuring.”
People who actively target someone to serve as a role model draw positive feelings from that person only if the role model’s achievements are both relevant and attainable. People who choose role models who do not fit that description wind up 22 percent less satisfied with their careers than people who do not have a role model at all.
Lockwood and Kunda 2000