We think of many aspects of life as a race—who gets the promotion, who gets the biggest salary, who has the nicest car. It’s a race between us and everyone around us for these things.
Yet we don’t all need to have these things to succeed. What we need is what we need. Because someone else wants to be at the top or have the most or work the longest hours does not mean that you need those same things.
Success in life is not a matter of getting everything. That’s impossible and wouldn’t be much of a joy even if it were possible. Success is a matter of getting what you need.
Think of success as filling a box. You’ll be finished sooner not just by working harder to fill it but also by choosing a smaller box.
Becky considers herself normal in most respects. She has a career, a husband, two children, and almost no time.
“Do you ever feel like you woke up in an episode of Twilight Zone? My story is the person who constantly has more things to do and less time in which to do it. It’s like every day I have to make more runs to the store than the day before, and I have to do it in half the time.”
Becky concluded that the key to living life at her own pace, instead of in a rushed hurry, was “to realize what is really important. I spent so much time doing things because I thought I was supposed to instead of because they were really necessary.”
To get out of her Twilight Zone, Becky stopped going after everything. “If you run out of time trying to do absolutely everything, then sometimes you wind up finishing the stupid stuff and missing out on what really matters.”
What success means is not universal. Studies of people who have attained nearly identical achievements in the workplace, for example, find great variation in their level of satisfaction, with some considering themselves tremendously successful and others considering themselves average or even failures.
Maasen and Landsheer 2000