Transitions intimidate us because everything seems so different. But even though our surroundings change, we don’t change.
We need some stability in our lives to be able to function. When you undertake new things, rely on the stability of who you are to provide you comfort and confidence.
Amy is a career counselor who sees people changing jobs every day. She also sees people fall into transition anxiety all the time: “It’s like sending a five-year-old off to the first day of kindergarten. What’s it going to be like? What will happen to me? The fears some people have would be funny if they weren’t so real.”
Amy focuses her clients’ attention on the one thing that doesn’t change with a career move: themselves. “Some people lose all sense of proportion and really think everything in their world will change. Some look at that change as positive, as if all their old bad habits will fall away. I compare changing jobs to changing relationships. You wouldn’t just change relationships to solve your infidelity problem because you would just bring the problem with you. And you can’t just change jobs to make yourself into a new person. You’ll be the same wherever you work, and work will be what you make of it wherever you go.”
Nearly everyone feels some anxiety when starting a new job. However, people who focus their attention on their own identity rather than their uncertain surroundings feel less stress and report becoming comfortable in their new position in half as much time.
Elovainio and Mivimaeki 2001