Confidence is like a helpful virus spreading throughout your body. If you have it, it will infect everything you do in a positive way. If you don’t, it will undermine everything you do.
People who lack confidence not only fear doing things they are not good at, they actually start to fear performing tasks in which they excel because they question whether they’re all that good at anything.
Confidence spreads with successes, and lack of confidence multiplies with failures. If your confidence falters, turn to what you do best, and then take on more challenging tasks.
Margaret has been an attorney for over thirty years. She handles a variety of civil cases and has earned a reputation as a fierce litigator.
It wasn’t always that way for Margaret, though. “In the beginning, I faced all the barriers that were in place against women and all the slights that occurred. Judges would lecture you about appropriate hairstyles for the courtroom, what you should wear. When a judge entered the room, he would say, ‘Good morning, gentlemen,’ as if I wasn’t even there. Opposing counsel would look over at you like you were a little girl.”
It was upsetting and intimidating. But getting rattled by the slights wasn’t doing her any good, and it wasn’t doing her clients any good. “I tried to look for some way out of the situation, and I realized that these attitudes could be used to my advantage. Yes, I was being treated with condescension, but that means they were underestimating me. I began to approach everything with a different perspective—and their minor slights were actually making me more confident.”
While the insults have thankfully waned over the years, Margaret’s confidence has remained an important part of her legal skills.
People who feel less talented than those around them actually believe they will be outperformed in any task they might be asked to complete, ranging from knowledge tests to creativity exercises and even games.
Mayo and Christenfeld 1999