So what is NLP and why should you take the time to read the whole of this book and allow it to change the way you experience yourself and the world around you?
Let me be very upfront and say that I am not one of those ‘this book will change your life; you’ve been doing it all wrong’ guys. I’m sure, just like me, you have been doing your best too. Different circumstances and different choices for sure, but when it comes down to it, we’ve been doing our best given our circumstances, experiences and the available choices we perceived at the time. We look at the world around us and pick the best path we can imagine to get through it and, at the same time, try to collect some of what we want along the way, right?
I certainly did. Long before I had ever heard of NLP – like most people, I suspect – I viewed the world as being a more or less static place where things were as they were and change… well, that was hard and definitely happened only on the outside, out there in the physical world, and usually for other people, not people like me.
Now think about it. It is really quite difficult to change the world around us, isn’t it? In the world of form and physics, change can be very hard indeed and takes a great deal of effort, but that, in itself, is not really the problem. The problem is rarely actually found in the physical world but rather in our subjective experience of it. As super coach Michael Neill describes it, ‘We’re not scared of what we think we’re afraid of, we’re afraid of what we think.’
Really, think about it for a second… Some people are scared of spiders and some people are not, while others are scared of dogs and cats or flying or even baked beans and ketchup… But most of us are not, so those things simply cannot, in and of themselves, be inherently scary. It MUST be our thoughts about those things that create those feelings of anxiety and sometimes even blind panic.
It’s as simple as that. We don’t need to change the world when we can effortlessly change the way we perceive the world out there, and in doing so change ‘our’ world instantly. Whilst change in the world of form and physics takes time and effort, in the world of thought and mind we are only ever one different thought away from being OK.
All human behaviour is a product of the state of mind we are in at the time. The difference between being in ‘a right state’ and ‘the right state’ is right there between your ears right now. Over the course of this book, I am going to show you how to make the small changes on the inside that will make huge differences on the outside, because when you change your mind you change your life.
Imagine tomorrow, not feeling afraid, not blocked by irrational fears from doing the things you want, not craving foods that don’t serve you but only feed an emotional hunger, not feeling stuck or frustrated and instead just feeling free to be you, the authentic you, and free not just being you but free by just being you. Imagine as you read this book just how much your life can change when you get out of your own way and start to live up to your fullest potential.
That’s really what NLP is all about; you, and how you run your own mind and put a twinkle in your eye as you do it.
At school we are taught what to think, but we are never taught how to think, until now, that is. The world where we live is changing so fast that, while in the past IQ and knowledge were where all the power sat, now we are never more than a few simple clicks away from the factual answer. That being the case, how we use our brains must change too. No longer do you have to use your brain as a hard drive; now, it is how you use your brain, not what you store in it, that really matters.
Think of your mind more as a browser than a hard drive. So many more variables and so many more wonderful ways to use it, it’s time to put you in control, again. You are never more than a few seconds away from any factual answer – no one is – so your advantage in life is not going to be found there. How you use your brain is what matters today and tomorrow and for the rest of your life.
That’s what I am going to show you: how to use your brain effectively for the change and life you want and to do that with the same ‘twinkle in the eye’ way that for me epitomizes NLP, its ethos and methodology. If you try something and it doesn’t work, try something else; simple. There is no such thing as failure here. If I want to get a client into a good state so I can help them to change then I’ll make them laugh for real and anchor that real emotion, not get them to recall some dim and distant memory in such a clinical, dull way as to render it meaningless.
Sure there is a lot about NLP that cannot be ‘proven’ or measured in double-blind clinical trials, but stand-up comedy doesn’t work under laboratory conditions either, yet we all enjoy a good laugh. No matter what the men in white coats might say, this stuff works in the real world. So open your mind and it will be my pleasure to be your guide as I hand you the instruction manual to your own mind before taking you through it: to make you not just smarter, but also different; your experience of life richer with more distinctions and in higher definition; and the journey here not just a fun learning one, but one by which you change from the inside out with NLP.
Plain and simple, these techniques and truths will change your life so, if you’re ready, let’s get started and see where heading towards your full potential now takes you.
I don’t make any claim that the principles and techniques you will learn here are mine; they are the collective works of a great many experts and visionaries over the years. Nor is this a definitive work as, in truth, I only have the scope here to scratch the surface. This book could be many times thicker and more involved, but I hope it will whet your interest and ignite your curiosity to then go on and explore the Resources section at the end of the book.
Like any body of work, NLP has also evolved over time, but here’s my version of some great old songs, which – while they stay true to the original – are original enough in themselves and with a new inside-out perspective to add some extra value to the piece. Or so I hope… as you join me on a plain and simple tour of what I think are some of the most important and potent patterns and principles in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and beyond.