Below you will find three scripts for you to use with your birth partner as part of your daily relaxation practice. Aim to do one script a day, ideally before bed, or alternatively ten minutes of light-touch massage. Remember, you’ll find a practice schedule to help you out at the back of the book.
These scripts can be referred to as guided meditations, but you can also call them guided relaxation exercises if you prefer. You don’t need to be experienced with meditation – or even into meditation – to find these scripts helpful. All you need to do is set aside some time with your birth partner (approximately fifteen minutes is all you need) so that they can read the script to you whilst you close your eyes and focus on the words that are being spoken. It’s ok if your mind drifts and you begin to think of something else, so long as you recognise this has happened and return your focus to the script. The more you practise, the quicker you will find you can zone everything out and access that ‘green’ state of deep relaxation that feels so good. Doing this is essentially mindfulness practice – when you take time out to slow everything down, reduce the noisy chatter in your mind, and focus on the present – and is known to offer numerous mental health benefits. You may well continue this practice long after your baby is born, if it’s not something you do already. But even if you don’t, you should notice immediate benefits when you practise now in pregnancy. It’s not something you have to do in the hope it pays off; it should help right away by giving you a way to relax, helping you feel more connected to your birth partner and helping you to sleep better.
The first ‘simple guided relaxation’ is the most straightforward and a good place to start. Your birth partner simply needs to read the script (the text in italics) as it’s written on the page. It’s best if they read it slowly (the slower the better!) in a calm, hushed voice. It doesn’t matter if they aren’t used to reading such things and, sure, you may have a giggle when you first begin! But you will both soon get the hang of it. You can reassure your birth partner by letting them know that they are better than any recorded MP3 you could get because their voice is familiar. And it’s that familiarity which will bring you comfort and help you to relax.
Allow your eyes to close gently and easily, so that you are better able to focus on my voice. Feel your body begin to relax.
Tune in now with your breath. Allow it to slow down and deepen. Settle into a rhythm that feels natural for you. Breathe slowly, deeply and comfortably.
As you inhale, feel your lungs gently expand and, as you exhale, imagine that a valve has opened, and you feel all the pressure within you release. Now, again. Inhale, expand, exhale, release. Feel all the tension flow out and away from your body. Breathe in and breathe out. Inhale, expand. Exhale, release. Allow everything to soften, relax and release . . . You feel completely comfortable . . . You are totally relaxed . . .
Focus now on your eyelids and allow the muscles to soften. Feel the relaxation spreads upwards and across your forehead. Everything softening and relaxing. Feel the muscles relax so that your forehead is smooth and free of all tension. Allow yourself to sink into this lovely feeling of warmth and comfort as everything becomes soft and relaxed. Inhale, expand. Exhale, release. Breathe in and breathe out. Enjoy this feeling of peace, calm and well-being.
Now feel the relaxation spread downwards from your forehead, in and around your eyes and down through your cheeks. Everything softens as the warm feeling gently spreads. Allow your jaw to become loose so that it too is relaxed. Feel the warmth spread on downwards through your neck and across your shoulders. All the muscles soften and release as the relaxation gently spreads downwards through your body. Everything is loose and relaxed.
Notice now your mouth and your lips. Allow them to soften and release. Notice your tongue – it rests completely relaxed in your mouth. Every muscle in your face is soft and free of tension. Your whole face and head feel completely relaxed. Inhale, expand. Exhale, release. Breathe in and breathe out. You feel very, very peaceful.
Finally, feel your shoulders relax. Allow them to sink to their natural level, so that your whole body is limp and relaxed, and your breathing is soft and slow. Pause for a moment and enjoy this feeling of calm, warmth and well-being.
You feel happy now, knowing that you can easily access this wonderful feeling of peace, calm and relaxation whenever you need to. You know that your body has been perfectly designed to grow and birth your baby. You feel strong and confident, calm and relaxed. You know that you can feel just as relaxed as you do now when you give birth to your baby, and so you look forward to meeting your baby feeling calm and full of love. You look forward to the amazing and empowering experience that is giving birth, trusting that you, your body and your baby know exactly what to do.
Now, when you’re ready, and in your own time, slowly open your eyes, gently and calmly, coming back to the present feeling relaxed, confident and ready.
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The next script, ‘arm-stroking guided relaxation’, also involves reading the script slowly and calmly, but also includes an additional element: arm stroking. Your birth partner simply needs to stroke your hand and arm whilst reading the script, when directed to do so. How light or firmly they stroke should be dictated by your personal preference, but they should aim to stroke the arm back and forth nice and slowly.
Gently and easily allow your eyes to close so that you can focus on my voice and begin to relax.
Allow your breathing to slow down and deepen. As you inhale, feel your lungs expand as they fill with air and as you exhale, feel all the pressure and tension release and flow out of your body. Inhale, expand. Exhale, release. Breathing in and breathing out. With each breath you become more and more relaxed. Inhale, expand. Exhale, release. Breathing in and breathing out. You feel peaceful. You feel comfortable. You feel deeply relaxed.
Now place your focus on your feet. Feel the weight of your feet where they rest. As you focus on your feet, imagine all the stress and tension in your body draining out through them, down, down and away, into the ground. You begin to feel lighter. Everything feels more relaxed.
Now imagine that as all the stress and tension leave your body, a wave of relaxation and peace flows down through you. You can feel this wave of warmth and light as it slowly spreads and fills every part of your body. You feel an overwhelming feeling of comfort and well-being as this wave of peace and relaxation, warmth and light, fills every part of you.
You breathe slowly and deeply. Inhale, expand. Exhale, release. Breathing in and breathing out. Slower and deeper.
Now that you are relaxed, I will begin to stroke your hand and arm very gently.
[Start stroking her hand and arm, speaking slowly and calmly.]
You can feel my touch on your hand and arm. I am here. You are safe. Allow yourself to sink, deeply relaxed, completely comfortable. As I stroke your hand and arm you relax more and more deeply. You can feel my touch. It feels soothing and reassuring. You are completely safe.
Enjoy this feeling. Endorphins spreading throughout your body. Inhale, expand. Exhale, release. Breathing in and breathing out. You are deeply relaxed. Peaceful and calm. Filled with warmth and light.
Now the feeling in your hand and arm begins to fade. You know that I am still stroking your hand and arm . . . but all you can feel is warmth and comfort. Maybe you can feel a light tingle from my touch, but as I continue to stroke, the feeling becomes less and less. Your hand and arm become increasingly numb.
Inhale, expand. Exhale, release. Inhale. Exhale. Breathing in and breathing out.
You feel more and more deeply relaxed. You are completely comfortable. Peaceful. Safe. Gradually the feeling in your hand and arm becomes less and less. Fading away. Until you feel nothing at all.
Inhale, expand. Exhale, release. Breathing in and breathing out.
You realise now that you can move this warm, comfortable feeling of numbness wherever you want. Simply focus on a part of your body and the feeling becomes less and less, gradually fades away . . . until there is nothing at all.
Enjoy this sensation that fills your body . . . Warmth and light. Peace and calm.
You are now very, very relaxed.
Just pause and enjoy this wonderful feeling of well-being, peace and calm that fills your body.
You know now that you are a strong, powerful and capable woman and are perfectly designed to grow and birth your baby.
You appreciate the power of your intuition, and you trust that it will guide you through your labour and birth.
You know that birth is safe and you are safe.
You understand how important it is to be relaxed when giving birth and you feel confident that you are able to access this deep relaxation when needed.
You understand your mind and body are connected so you prepare mentally for the positive and empowering birth experience you wish for.
You know that the decisions in birth are yours to make and you feel empowered by this fact.
You look forward to meeting your baby and holding them in your arms.
[Stop stroking.]
Inhale, expand. Exhale, release. Breathing in and breathing out.
This relaxation has been very powerful. You feel relaxed, calm and peaceful. You now know that you have power to control the sensations in your body.
In a moment it will be time to come back to the present, slowly and gently. You feel calm, relaxed and confident. And each time you do this, these feelings will grow stronger and stronger. You will become more and more confident and you will be able to access this deep relaxation more quickly than before.
So now, in your own time, come back to the present, slowly and gently opening your eyes, feeling calm, relaxed and confident.
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The final-script, the ‘arm-drop and release guided relaxation’, is again to be read slowly and calmly. It includes an arm-drop element which helps you to let go of any tension you’re holding onto and to deepen your relaxation throughout your body. Your birth partner simply needs to lift your arm gently at the wrist and let it fall into your lap when directed to do so.
These last two scripts require some multitasking skills, but hopefully nothing beyond anyone’s capabilities. However, to make things easier, you could get your birth partner to record their voice reading the script (on their phone, perhaps) and then play this whilst they focus on the arm stroking or the arm drop. You could then also listen to the recording if your birth partner is not with you when you come to do your practice, but still benefit from hearing their familiar voice.
[Gently rest your hand on her bump]
As my hand rests here, allow your eyes to close, gently and easily, so that you can better focus on my voice. Feel the muscles in your eyelids soften and relax, so that your eyelids feel light and your forehead is soft and smooth.
Tune in now with your breathing. Allow your breath to slow down and deepen. Inhale, feel your lungs expand. Exhale, feel all tension release. Breathing in and breathing out. Feel all your tension and stress flow out of your body and away.
Focus now on your eyes – they feel relaxed. Feel your cheeks soften, allow your lips to part and your jaw to rest, loose and relaxed.
Now allow your shoulders to sink to their natural level as you feel the relaxation spread down your neck, across your shoulders and on down through your back. You feel calm, relaxed and peaceful.
Your whole body sinks into the lovely, familiar feeling of warm relaxation. You are completely comfortable. You know that you are safe.
You relax deeper and deeper. It feels so good to take the time to just allow everything to soften, release and relax. So comfortable, so easy. Embrace this wonderful feeling of warmth and well-being.
Inhale, expand. Exhale, release. Breathing in and breathing out.
You feel the relaxation slowly spreading throughout your body until every single cell feels soft and relaxed. You feel so calm and peaceful, happy and relaxed.
And every time you feel my hand rest here, you will recognise this as a sign to let go and relax. You know you can access this wonderful feeling any time you wish.
Tune in again with your breathing. Breathe slowly and deeply. Inhale, expand. Exhale, release. Breathing in and breathing out. So comfortable, so relaxed.
Now I shall lift your arm gently at the wrist. Just relax and let me take all of the weight. [Raise arm]
Notice how heavy your arm feels. It feels so good to just relax and allow me to take the weight.
In a moment, I will gently release your arm and it will fall, landing in your lap, and your relaxation will deepen even more. [Let go of arm]
Now, again, I will lift your arm, slowly and gently. Feel the weight of your arm as I raise it. [Raise arm] You are completely relaxed.
In a moment I will let your arm go again and, as I do, your relaxation will become even deeper and more profound. [Let go of arm] You are now so deeply relaxed.
And again, one last time, I’m lifting your arm. [Raise arm] You allow me to take the full weight of your arm. As I let go, your arm falls into your lap and you go many times deeper. [Let go of arm]
Rest now, comfortable and relaxed. Enjoy the feeling of calm and well-being that radiates throughout your body.
Know that this easy, deep relaxation is there for you when it comes to labour and birth. Know that you can feel just as calm and relaxed then as you do right now.
You know that your body has been perfectly designed to grow and birth your baby naturally, easily and comfortably. You look forward to giving birth to your baby because you know it is going to be the most amazing and empowering experience, and you will meet your baby feeling calm and confident, happy and relaxed.
Now the time has come to return to the present, slowly and gently, allow your eyes to open and return, feeling confident and relaxed about birth, bringing with you all the lovely feelings of calm and contentment you have just created.
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