Whisper round the town
’cause you’re my friend
and that’s the end
for you’re the only one in town
that they would beg to hang around with
You’re so beautiful and calm
but with an attitude that says
‘Hands off, you’re just not good enough’
Every boy and man feeling lonely
can’t understand why you’d be with me
Furthermore, we laugh and we draw
more attention every day so they say
Bet she’s not your girlfriend
Oh no, you couldn’t make her happy
Well that’s as maybe in a way
but it’s okay, we laugh, touché
while they stare in front of us
And draw away as if to say
‘Who are these people anyway?
How dare they confront us!’
Every boy and man feeling lonely
can’t understand why you’d be with me
Furthermore, we laugh and we draw
more attention every day so they say
Bet she’s not your girlfriend
Oh no, you couldn’t make her happy
I’d rather die than satisfy their curiosity
I’m kind of shy and dry and verging on ugly
They wonder what that I have got that they have not
They’ll never understand that none of that matters
Every boy and man feeling lonely
can’t understand why you’d be with me
Furthermore, we laugh and we draw
more attention every day so they say
Bet she’s not your girlfriend
Oh, no, you couldn’t make her happy
1992. When I was in the sixth form at grammar school in Newcastle in the early seventies, I briefly had a beautiful girlfriend who used to meet me at the school gates, to the amazement of some of my contemporaries. This lyric imagines their reactions. The idea for the title and chorus, however, was triggered by a flippant comment about George Michael having a female companion.