Article III
Article III: Nyet Quo Pro Quid
Our president is not getting enough credit for allowing the White House to declassify and release to Congress the whistleblower memo of July 25.
The first whistleblower memo should not be confused with the second whistleblower memo, which confirmed the first, both of which triggered the Great Impeachment Crisis of 2019, a highlight of the first Trump administration.
The memos told the story of how a president asked a favor of the Ukrainian president. He would be happy to release the anti-tank missiles Congress had appropriated in exchange for some slime about his unworthy future political opponent, Sleepy Joe Biden and his corrupt son.
Our president was very happy with the phone call. “A beautiful call,” he said. “Perfect. No quo pro quid.” Or was it quid quo pro? They mean the same thing to him. Just two friends of democracy talking shop.
Still, the release of the memos made our president look bad.
Sending the memo on to Congress is required by the Whistleblower Law. Normally, not even a subpoena can make Donald Stonewall Trump turn over documents. Why he kicked the equivalent of a hornet’s nest by suddenly following a rule of law this time has bewildered the punditocracy.
One theory is the president is actually a Jeffersonian, a closet champion of a free press.32
Allowing the memo to go public is a chapter from his next book about his years as president, Profiles in Courage.
Another theory is that he hadn’t actually read it. And why should he?
He had gotten into the third year of the presidency without reading intelligence briefings. Or advisers’ talking points. He goes by his famous gut, which has gotten noticeably larger in the first 959 days. When it comes time to memorialize the president in the Capitol rotunda, an appropriate symbol of his greatness would be a representation of 45’s digestive tract in formaldehyde, mounted on a plinth.
If he had read it, a corollary to the theory of alimentary decision-making goes, he didn’t understand it.
He wasn’t able to connect the dots. “Quid pro quo” to him was the name of the North Korean minister of beachfront property development.
The intelligentsia in the Oval Office may have seen the connection, but none had the courage to warn him about possible impeachment for a high crime or even a medium or low crime, let alone a mere misdemeanor. They would run the risk of being marginalized in the president’s brain trust or being defenestrated in a Twitter attack for telling the emperor he is doing a dumb thing.
You know, a lot of people don’t appreciate Stonewall Trump’s achievements as—pardon me for repeating myself here, I’m being presidential—the most incredibly stupid president in history.
Don’t blame it on politics. He was stupid prior to 2016, when he first became infected with My Country Needs Me Fever and spread that birther nonsense about Obama’s birthplace. He was stupid as a businessman, as his six bankruptcies will attest. The key to being a success in the real estate game, another realtor told me, is knowing how to add. And, she added, subtract!
For such a genuinely stupid person to still be in office after three years of sheer stupidity is HUGE. He deserves all the cheers from the dunce corner of the electorate—at his campaign rallies.
God must have loved the stupid. She made so many, including the 34.9 percent of the base who firmly believe that no matter how many unadulterated incredibly really stoooopid things he does, this impeachment thing is total garbage.