A HAPPY FAMILY IS A SWEET BALANCE. Our boys, Abhi and Aki, who our restaurants are named after, are the ultimate “sweet” for us. Our desire for the restaurants to be successful has meant that our family spends a lot of time there. If you ask either Abhi or Aki, “What is family time?” I am sure they will answer, “The restaurant Abhi’s.” For all the missed homework, soccer goals, and dinnertime conversations, rather than resent the hours that the business took away from family time, Abhi and Aki have come to love the restaurants and are involved in day-to-day operations. We could not have asked for a sweeter ending.
In India, every happy moment is celebrated by sharing sweets. At festive occasions, weddings, and religious ceremonies, sweets are often served before any other foods. Indians believe, poetically, that by starting a meal sweetly life will also continue that way. In a Southern Indian wedding, for example, food is served on banana leaves and strict rules govern where food is put. Sweet things are always on the right-hand side, roughly at the four o’clock, which is where you start eating the meal in a counterclockwise direction. It’s the same for thali plates across India—you always eat the sweet first.
When I met my wife, Suba, for the first time, it was over sweets. It’s traditional for the bride’s family to serve kesari (semolina cake), and Suba’s mother made pineapple kesari (see page 205 for a recipe) that I loved so much I asked for seconds.
India even has its own version of the ice cream man to excite children: the kulfiwalla, who pushes his cart filled with kulfis, which come in a long conical shape with a popsicle stick.
Others sweets, such as halwa, are ubiquitous, yet differ between regions. In Mumbai (Bombay), the halwa is hard and caramelly and cut into cubes, while in the south it’s softer and needs to be scooped. I’m proud to say my home of Tirunelveli, in Tamil Nadu, makes the most popular halwa in India. It has the consistency of Turkish Delight and people come from all over to buy it from confectioner Iruttu Kadai Halwa. Making it is so laborious that my mother didn’t believe it was worthwhile teaching Suba how to do it. Thankfully, my mum still makes it for me when I go to visit the family.
Of course, as much as we love them, sweets should be eaten in moderation—an excess causes discontent and yearning, while just the right amount promises satisfaction and longevity.
