Entertaining Tips for Low-Stress, High-Fun Gatherings

There’s rarely a weekend that goes by that Josh and I don’t have extra people in the house, and we’re no strangers to get-togethers with guest lists in the double digits. So out of necessity, we’ve made a point of keeping our entertaining style super laid-back and stress-free—that way we get to actually enjoy ourselves, and our guests end up having an even better time too. Here are some of the lessons we’ve learned over the years for throwing parties that are pressure- and hassle-free.

Just do it. Some people get in their heads about how a party “should” look—whether they have enough space, a nice enough table, or a big enough guest list—so they end up never hosting. But entertaining doesn’t have to be a big production! Start small with an appetizer or two, or organize a potluck. Or make a batch of cookies and call your neighbors to say, “Hey, we just baked; want to help us eat?” I guarantee no one will turn down an offer of fresh-out-of-the-oven cookies. Use paper plates and napkins and whatever timesaving shortcuts you have to—just set a date and make it happen! I promise that it will get easier every time.

Relax and have fun. If you’re stressed, your guests won’t be able to relax. Focus on the things that you enjoy and your guests will follow suit.

Forget perfection. It’s okay if the house isn’t perfectly spotless or if you didn’t have time to get flowers for the table. Be real; there’s no need to put on a show! Just make your guests feel welcome and at home—even if that home has toys scattered on the floor.

Be mindful of your guests. When planning your menu, consider who’s coming. Ask your guests if they have any allergies, dietary restrictions, or simply dislikes. That way you won’t serve a big, cheesy lasagna to someone who’s lactose intolerant, or a big bowlful of mushroom risotto to the person who can’t stand fungi. If there’ll be kids, make sure at least one thing will be appealing to little ones. If you’re not sure what that entails, ask the parents—they’ll definitely know what their kids will and won’t eat!

Prep and plan. Decide what you’re going to be serving and make a plan. Choose a time to go grocery shopping and double-check that you have all the ingredients. Consider prepping a majority of the food in advance so you aren’t rushing before guests come over. I also recommend coming up with a strategy for where all the food will be served—on the dining room table? Living room coffee table? Kitchen island? Map it out and make sure there’s enough space. I also recommend setting the table in advance, or if you’re doing the meal buffet-style, have all the silverware, plates, and napkins set out. Anything you do ahead of time will be less you have to scramble to do as your guests are arriving. And always give yourself more time than you think you will need, just in case. If you’re done early, sit down and relax before everyone arrives.

Remember that more is more. We always plan for a little extra food. We would rather have too much than not enough. You can always have leftovers another night that week or send your guests home with some food!

Start with appetizers. We always like to have something ready for people to nibble on when they arrive so they can start relaxing and we can finish up any last-minute touches on the meal. This is also helpful for hungry (and not-so-patient) kids! Check out the appetizer chapter, here, for some of our favorite starters.

Stick with the standbys. We love creating and testing new recipes, but when we have people over, we go with our tried-and-true dishes. We want to feel confident in the meal we have planned and don’t want any surprises.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. One of the biggest mistakes people make is thinking that just because they’re hosting, that means they need to do every last thing. That’s just not true! Guests feel more involved when they’re asked to pitch in, whether it’s bringing an appetizer, side dish, or dessert; picking up toppings for a nacho bar or ice cream sundae party; or lending a hand with setting the table or rolling out pizza dough.

Turn on the tunes. Or the big game—this will help your guests relax and prevent awkward silences.

DIY decorating. On the rare occasion I have a tablescape scheme, I keep it simple with fresh flowers in a vase or mason jars, or seasonal fruit in a pretty bowl. It’s never formal, but a few small touches elevate the vibe of the party. I also light some candles around the house. One finishing touch that goes a long way is making sure the areas of the house where your guests will be—entryway, living room, kitchen, powder room—are clean. Maybe not tidy, if your boys are like mine, but clean.

Keep it in the kitchen. Not every party needs to be in a formal dining room, or even the living room. Our guests always end up in the kitchen to keep us company while we finish up the cooking, and sometimes we just stay in there, gathered around the island, eating standing up. Let the party happen naturally!

Clean up later. Sure, you can clear the table, but don’t worry about washing and putting away every last dish while your guests are still over. Enjoy your time with them; you can clean up the house after they leave. That said, if you have offers to help wash or dry, bring the party into the kitchen and make tidying up a group activity.