Loneliness

They say there are only four chambers of the heart.

I know there are five

and that fifth one opened,

not opened, but broke.

It was a pure thing, that moment.

And if my heart could kneel down

and if my spirit could call back that moment,

if my body hadn’t begun its ripening

into old age

and been also as young as the first grape in an arbor

believing in future wine, it wouldn’t.

Loneliness had to prove again

that I was only human

and there was one part of myself not yet

given.

And hearing the gnats that day in their circle above us,

the smell of earth around us,

the wild grass, altogether so natural

as if I was, we were, alive with it,

as if I was not a human separate, but earth,

part of it again,

as splendid as the deer standing in trees

or the blue dragonflies in air.

I longed to be a flowering branch,

the sea in its rocking, an unguessed world.

Even now it seems so much as if the body was only

the desire of the planet,

as if it could turn itself into the universe

both together, the same,

because such a thing is irrational flesh,

irrational earth.