THE WEAPON WE HAVE IS LOVE
by Paul DeGeorge, Harry and the Potters
and co-founder of the Harry Potter Alliance
My brother and I have written a lot of songs about the Harry Potter book series. Some of them are silly and weird and shaded with irony. Some are romantic, some are trivial, and a few are just wholly sincere. “The Weapon” falls into the latter category. At its surface, the song is a self-assuring statement of purpose lending Harry comfort and encouragement in the developing war with Voldemort. But the song also broaches several of the major themes of the book series: selflessness, overcoming death, and the power of love as an enduring and potent weapon in the fight against evil. These themes resonate strongly with Harry Potter readers and our song has, I’ve been told, played a role in deepening that connection for some fans. The refrain of the song, “the weapon we have is love,” became the de facto motto for the real-world Dumbledore’s Army, the Harry Potter Alliance, and it is with that backdrop that I performed the song during the HPA press conference following the victory in the Chase Community Giving competition. Esther was in attendance that day, her face projected comically large over the stage through a satellite feed. It wasn’t the first or last time we would play the song for Esther, and I later learned that this was actually one of her favorite songs. It makes sense. Esther was always involved in a larger battle than her fight with cancer. She was playing her own part in shaping our world for the better. She wanted the power of love to be recognized and accounted for, and she worked selflessly to decrease worldsuck and to increase awesome.
I can see the success of her fight. It’s manifested by her family, by her amazing friends in Catitude, by the Harry Potter Alliance, by TSWGO, by Esther Day and by the work of John Green and all nerdfighters who’ve been inspired by her existence. Everyone who has met Esther understands that in spite of life’s difficulties, even in spite of death, ours is an incredible and beautiful world and we must take seriously our role in preserving and improving it. Those same ideas are at the heart of our song “The Weapon.” The most difficult performance my brother, Joe, ever gave was playing this song at Esther’s funeral.
THE WEAPON
written by Harry and the Potters (Paul and Joe DeGeorge)
We may have lost Sirius Black
But we’re not turning back
We will fight till we have won
And Voldemort is gone
I’m gonna do whatever it takes
I don’t care what that prophecy says
No I’m not afraid
Cause there’s one thing that I’ve got
One thing that you’ve got inside you too
One thing that we’ve got
And the one thing we’ve got is enough to save us all
We taught ourselves to fight
And now we know that neither can live while the other survives
And I know that that means me
So I’m glad we’ve got our Army
We’re gonna take down the Dark Lord’s crew
The Death Eaters will all be running from me and you
And you and you and you and you and you and you
And there’s one thing that I’ve got
One thing that you’ve got inside you too
One thing that we’ve got
And the one thing we’ve got is enough to save us all
The Weapon We Have Is Love
With Paul and Joe DeGeorge of Harry & the Potters,
SQUANTUM, MASSACHUSETTS, 2010
July, 2010
Happy Father’s Day by E. Earl
prelude: explanation
Ah, so we meet again, eh? Dad, I was going to do something really fancy—cut some shapes from construction paper, glue them all around . . . but yeah, all I got was some beautiful sticky fingers. Not the best present? So anyway, I decided to stick with #2 dad gift (#1 being, as we all know, a colorful tie): A letter. Hope you enjoy it, and I also hope it’s legible. lol.
chapter one: getting off track
I’ve always remembered thinking throughout my life (all 15 years, my friend) that you look about 30-something, as well as Mom. But now, as life goes on and you age, you’re starting to look in your forties. But aren’t you, like, 50? lmao.1 If you can call me Danei, 2 I can forget your age. Agreed?
Anyway, the point of that paragraph was that you’re quite young looking. However, I remember one time in the Aix hospital (I think it was before I was diagnosed); I was resting in bed, kinda grumpy, after having my catheter put in (btw, 3 I’ve decided I like my current cather mucho more than that one . . .), and I looked up at you. You were watching me sleep and I, being grumpy from meds, got annoyed and stuck Mickey over my head. Now of course when I think of that moment I feel really bad, and I also remember how tired your face looked, although you were slightly smiling. Seeing you tired and old-looking makes me feel horrible. And being the cause of that makes me feel . . . horrible. But I know you would never blame me for anything.4 
Mom, let’s say, has never looked a day over 23. Right, dad? 
Chapter 3: home is where the fam is
In Williamstown, we had a hamster, yeah? Oh, William was his name? Who the heck knows.
But anyway, me and Evangeline used to take building blocks and VCRs and blocky things, and we would build a maze-thing. Then, we would stick William in the maze and run around, playing “tag.” Willy would always cheat5 by sneaking through the cracks in the maze walls, and then he’d bump our feet. Then someone else would be it and . . . yes. Exciting. Why’d I tell you that? Oh I don’t know but there you go. 
6
Story #2: Graham is watching a video right now of Doctor Who. It’s an episode where the Doctor (David Tennant) and Rose travel to future London. They encounter nurses with the faces of cats who test medicines on humans (mean!). There is also (subplot, hello!) a woman who is currently “the last human on earth” because she’s the last original human from earth . . . anyway, this woman (Cassandra) has a man/alien who for some reason is devoted to her. So later on, blah blah, the human test subjects are saved, Cassandra’s conscience is inside of Rose, man/alien/Cassandra-devotee is SUPPOSEDLY dead, and Graham says, “I hope that guy is still alive. He was very nice.”
I love his comments on things, seriously. So at the end, Cassandra’s conscience goes into man/alien (which of COURSE Graham had figured out), Cassandra/man/alien goes back in time to past-Cassandra, C/m/a says, “You are so beautiful” then dies, and Graham naively (but cutely) says, “Oh! Maybe Cassandra went into this girl and the nice guy will live!” Graham is so great!
I lately have been just kind of sitting around with him lately. Usually, he asks to watch Doctor Who, but w/e.7 I enjoy his company and he really seems to not get frustrated around me. 
Yeah, I believe he’ll do alright, honestly.
Abe time. He just went to the dollar store (oh trouble is here) with Mom and came back with gifts pour moi—a tattoo, a plastic, ducking chicken,8 and got himself the whole store.
Abraham is adorable. He just knows how to be cute. He also knows how to be whiney . . . oh, that little butt. 
But (lol), he’s a great kid. He says some profound stuff. That whole, “but who made him? And who made him? And who made him?” thing makes my head all 
9
Some memories I have of him are his first birthday; it was in the Plymouth house, and we made him Mom’s really good chocolate cake. We went out on the porch and Abe sat in his high chair while we occupied the glass table (that wasn’t ours? or something . . .). Next, Abe used his hands and squashed the cake with his mouth. I think it was his first time eating cake, too. It was a cute experience. Oh, I don’t think he liked the cake for very long. lol.
Another memory from not too long after that is when Abe smartly decided to lock himself in the bathroom. And then, the door smartly decided to not have an outdoor lock. And then you freaked out, lmao. Then Abe cried. Then I, not to sound cocky, saved the day with my big, tanned, glistening biceps by climbing through the window and KAPOW! unlocked the door.
Let’s talk about Angie? She’s a character, to be certain. Earliest memory of her is either the whole beetle dumping thing in Saudi or saving the kitty those jerks (in Saudi) were throwing around.
We hid that cat in our closet for 3 days before you found it, you know. Oh yes, we’re good.
Another memory? Going jogging at, like, 7 in the morning in Albertville. We were trying to “get fit” (12-year-old me and 15-year-old Ang, lol). So, I remember running almost all the way to the Briggs’ (their house was far, OK?) and then suddenly, without warning, I had to poop. Badly. What was I to do?! We were so far from home! But we ran—fast—past some goats,10 past some morning starers,11 and I ran to the toilet and pooped. You know that feeling when, oh dear goodness you have to poop, and then you do? Yeah, it felt like that. It feels . . . like . . . amazing.
After I got sick I feel as though Angie and I faded a bit. We had not much in common, with her having a “teenage life,” and me having a “lazy-butt invalid” one.
Actually, quite recently we talked about that . . . it’s hard, to stay in touch and be friends when you’ve become used to the routine you’re in . . . I love that girl, and she has a freaking lot of potential, and she can be so strong. She’s a good sister to have. I hope I can make more memories with her very soon.
There’s something else I’d like to say about Grahambo. After his Doctor Who episode he asked, “Again, why do you have cancer?” And I, never being prepared to answer questions well, talked about cells (which he knew of! “from TV”) and how sometimes people are born with cancer in their cells. I’d have said something more philosophical, but . . . I . . . didn’t? Eh. Anyway, Graham stated, “If I could have two wishes, one would be to have more time to hang out with Amber. And the other would be that your cancer would go away, forever.”
Abby is one of those good first children, You know what I mean? Maybe she had a rebellious stage . . . I clearly remember being with Alexa and . . . dropping her off? when suddenly we had to drive to Walmart so you and Mom could get Abby and Keri from security. Guess they were there for stealing a necklace lol. Abby tells me it wasn’t even a good one. 
12
I have good memories with Abbs . . . playing “shop” in Saudi; it’s where we’d13 set up shop w/14 our beanie babies and like . . . trade them . . . much funner15 when you’re younger, lemme tell you. Recently I tried playing this w/ Graham and Abe, and dear me it was boring. Woow.
But so and, I’m using a new pen, just so you are nicely aware. Lol jk16, I found my fav pen again!!!!!!!!!
Abby has always been a good sister. When we lived in Albertville, mainly Angie and sort of I didn’t like hanging with the big A. Why? Well because! When she was there it was because she was VISITING from HER friend-space. And she was inVADING OUR friend-space. You’d always make us bring her with our group which was just HORRIBLE because everyone thought she was hilarious/great/a new face INCLUDING, Evangeline and mine’s LOVE INTERESTS. Namely, Ryan and Bruce. How in the world could you?!
But besides that, I’ve always felt totally comfortable with Abbs, I mean, people are meant to feel comfortable with family, but sometimes you have a good connection with people, and I’m like that with her; she’s great. She’s also HORRIBLE in that she feels no guilt in teasing me despite me being a SICK, PALE CHILD. It’s disgraceful if you ask me. 
17
Abby now is great, and she is so good at taking care of me. She really is. And as I said earlier, she has no problem teasing me18, which shows she’s comfortable with my millions of cords. – GO ABBY!!!!! –
After all my Abby-praising I’d like to point out that she’s not the only sister I look up to. I mean, Abby IS someone I look up to, but Angie is too, in some ways.
Angie’s good at writing and gosh am I jealous of that. She’s also really just a person I like, so yeah.
Another person I look up to and feel the need to talk about is someone we all know and love . . . KERI LYNN HINKLEY. [“WHY WOULD YOU DO IT, FATHER. WHY”]
So one of the first memories of Keri Lynn “Earl Sister” Hinkley is: Graham and I were playing a video game19 on the couch in the Medway farmhouse when Abb and Keri walked in. I was about 8 so they were . . . 13/14? Lmao. that’s so young, essh. So, Keri walked in, said hello, and the first thing I wondered was if she was Indian. Of course, I didnt ask. Oh no, I’m too busy playing dumb games and being shy. But w/e, I found out eventually that she is not, in fact, Indian – SHE’S JUST SO TAN, Y’KNOW? Is she Caucasian or like Italian or w/e???
And but so, somehow this tan, sarcastic girl wriggled her way into our family and now I consider her a sister. It’s cool. Because like, even if Abb and Keri weren’t friends we’d still have Keri in our lives. And I’m cool wit’ that.
Keri a few nights ago slept in my room (the dining room one!) and we talked for a little bit about everything and it was nice. Very nice. Love that girl, seriously do. 
Mom is such a wonderful person, did you know that?
If you weren’t around (which would be unbelievable sad 
, I know Mom would be just as amazing at what she does, and you know it! She’s a really lovely woman. If she were a friend’s mom, I’d be like “OYR mom is supAH cool!!” but instead, I’m like, “ya Mom is cool GET ME SOME BLUEBERRIES PLZ!!!”
But let’s be srs for a min; I love talking to Mom. About serious things or not serious things. I love hugging her and I love when she reassures me that things are okay; even when . . . you guessed it . . . they aren’t. Mommy is amazing and I love her.
Now you on the other hand . . . I cannot stand you!!! I’m only writing this ten page letter to show you how much I don’t love you.
Oh man, I had you good. Yeah, I actually CARE ABOUT YOU, Wayne! lol your face . . . oh . . . but I’m not gonna talk about you NOW so owned.
FIN . . . of chapter 3
Chapter 4: Esther is bad (to the bone)
Can I tell you a secret DON’T GET MAD I just feel I should tell you? Although I’ve never been kissed, (boo) there was this one time when you and Mom went to a date and the boys were at youth group. So, Ang invited Kelsey over and I decided to actually LEAVE my room and go downstairs outside to help them start a mini campfire. This was a while ago . . . so we (well, Kelsey and Angie and I watched) made a fire succesfully and were psyched. They were drinking a bit of wine so I had some (now now don’t flip out I’m just telling stories 
). Wasn’t really good but I had 2 glasses. (I’ve had 2 glasses in a row before that, in France.) By then Ang had invited over Adam and some friends of hers. And then I laid on the trampoline and the sky spun and my breathing felt super good and Angie looked in my eyes and declared me drunk.
Anyway I’m debating whether or not to rip this page off, but I’d actually like to share the story of my first* time drunk with you.
So, Angie and her friends decided they were gonna go to Kelsey’s to hang out (AFTER picking up the boys). So Angie helped me upstairs, me wobbling and giggling a lot. She carried my oxygen, although—I don’t know if it’s the alcohol or what—I didn’t feel out of breath. Coolness. So I get upstairs and she tells me to sleep and call her if I need her. Which I did, when I got hiccups. Finally they went away, though, and I fell asleep. Woo, rebellion.
Literally the first regular-teenager-in-America thing I’ve done, Ai ai ai.
Oh, despite my “date” w/Yasser when I was still 14. We went to some movie together and with a group that afterwards went to the 99 to eat. But the whole thing was awkward and he had to leave during dinner I DON’T KNOW it was awkward, Lmao.
So other than that, the most action and “alcohol” I get are sleeping with Mickey and drinking a sip of Mom’s Smirnoff. I’m WILD, baby!
Another “bad” thing I’ve done is this:20 me and Angie loved Barbies for a while, if you’ll remember. We’d have a bunch of clothes that we’d dress our Barbies in, and we’d build houses and rooms for them, and then we’d not really play. The set up is the most fun. 
And but so, we always wanted new clothes . . . we’d go to yard sales and buy their bags of old Barbie-clothes . . . but it still wasn’t enough (because we were greedy children).
So one time when we were “forced” to visit a “friend’s” house who had kids, and those kids had Barbies—so we played with them. And then, when we were alone in there, we grabbed this (I still remember) red, Barbie dress that we thought was beautiful and maybe some other stuff, and STOLE IT.
I felt so bad but Isabelle and Skipper and Barbie looked so good . . .
Yeah but ok, that’s the end of that story. Pretty sure we sold all our Barbie clothes in a yard sale. lol.
What do you think of me now? I’ve told you all my dirty secrets. Should I be hung, like that bro on Twilight Zone? lol jk plz don’t do that . . .
Oh, ’member when Graham fell off the bed in Saudi? Ugh, I felt so bad, Dad, ’cause me and Amanda were jumping off my bunk bed and then poor Grahamy slipped off and broke his arm.: (I kinda remember going to the hospital, but Idk. Too little to remember, I suppose?
Do I feel guilty for anything else? I’m trying to think . . . Oh, here’s a “serious” one . . . For starters, I know that you would never, ever blame me for anything caused by my cancer. But there ARE times where I feel so guilty. Lemme explain:
• my cancer brought us back to America. I know you were running low on money, but I also know that you loved France. Makes me . . . sad.
• my cancer KEPT us in America. I know that’s not what we planned but, idk, sometimes I feel guilty. I know I shouldn’t, but feelings are feelings.
• there was one time (and before you read the next part remember I love you lol . . .) in the hospital where you and Mom were arguing over spilled coffee (HAHAHA I’m so funny) literally and like, mighta been the morphine, but I cried a little because me being in the hospital was the cause of your stress.
Gosh, I prob shouldn’t tell you this stuff for your Father’s Day gift, I just wanted to . . . tell you things I haven’t before. And those are not constant feelings, just feelings I have felt at one point (s). Still love you. 
Chapter 5: Love, hate, feel.
Dad you do realize I’m a human. Which is always good. And therefore I have feelings and thoughts (believe me, I have a lot of time to think . . . ha). Which you realize, thankfully. I’m sure there are many parents who think differently, but you and Mom are a-class ‘rents.
w/e I do not remember what I was going to say but: hey. It’s July 3 (well, it just became July 3 . . . I think it’s like, 12:30? or something?) And guess what? John Green just went to his room to sleep after a full day of . . . J Green. lol. He is the greatest guy and ok I am going to write some stuff that may or 21 not make sense?
Earlier today, John played “fun” ball with us. It was all on freaking hilariously dumb questions like “choco. flavored poop or poop flav. choc?” and “painties color?” But after that, we played “serious” ball and it got quite serious.22 Whenever we got a good question, John would make us pass it around in circles and state our various answers. John and Abby—the—friend filmed the entire thing basically. (Although Lindsay later filled me in that John would film everyone’s answer until they got to me. Then he’d stop ahhhhahah . . .)
Serious Ball turned into hugging—and saying how much love we have—time which was nice. And tear filled. Afterwards we went to nap.
Then we walked into the North End, we got gelato and espresso and John23 was fun to just chill with. My friends Katie and Teryn and I took a cab back but everyone else walked home w/ Mr. Wheelchair.
Once backat the hotel, you guys had the photo flippy thing set up. Slideshow! You guys had the slide show set up! So we all watched it was well done. A little long, but it had my songs and I am so freaking cute. 
I’m really enjoying sharing stories but I’m gonna wrap it up ’cause most of this part is stuff you already know.
Monday; July 19
9:41 pm
My g-tube is infected. My g-tube is infected and it huuurts. I’m p. sure it’s my fault, too; I put the new Mickey in and—BAM—pain around it. G’job, Est.
I don’t know what I’ve been doing . . . people online are still saying things like, “thank you, you’re an inspiration” “yr amazing” “wow you’re famous” “you’re so beautiful inside and out” But WHAT DO I SAY TO THEM?
“Oh, jgreen mentioned me in a vid along w/ my friends and then he made another vid saying ‘Vote for the HPA WITH ESTHER’ and oh before all that he made hundreds of NFs sign my guestbook. But I’m still Estee & I’ve done nothing else????”
Ya w/e that’s a silly rant but okay look I feel so lazy. I realize I’m sick however how do I connect I guess with Ang? I don’t think I try, tbh,* at least not that hard. It’s just that, dude, to get into Angie’s brain and have a talk where we were both exposed would take a lot of effort. Then I feel lazy . . . BLEH DUMBEST PARAGRAPH~~~
Ok I can’t write right now (write right AHAHA) because I’m tired and like feel really bad/hurting on my tummy. I hope the anti-B we got today helps. Weeee ok. *tbh: to be honest J
Wednesday; July 14 / Early Morning 101….
5:30 pm
Abraham is finishing my drawing of a roller coaster or sommat so we’re sitting in my bed together. Ok nevermind he has moved on to another drawing of a guy skateboarding. I love his little skate ramps that he, in his mind, has been on. J
Last night was my first “late” night in a whole . . . I stayed up until 2:30 am video-chatting with what was mainly Abby D and Arka but also Maddie and Katie. Therefore, I awoke at 5pm today. Yay, messed up schedule . . . NOT!*
Anyway, I’ve been trying to think of stories I would like to be remembered (therefore stories I can tell), but nothing’s popped up in the ol’ noggin. Poop. :O I just personally kind of like holding a pen in my hand and writing words with it? It’s soothing. Also I’m bored.
Monday; July 26, 2010
Explained to Graham today how everybody is born with cancer cells, and sometimes, in people, like ME, the cancer cell comes “alive.” Y’know, he seemed p. interested in it.* I explained it through pictures? Like . . . okay here: (you’re probs not interested in this, Person, but I do not care!!)
“Everybody’s born w/ cancer cells. That baby’s me.” 
“You’re chubby.” “Blue is white blood cells, (I explain those) red is red blood cells, & these . . . green ones are cancer cells.” “They’re green?” “Not really.” “Ok.” “So I lived for a long time without cancer.”
“Until France.” “Kinda, yeah. Then, sometimes the cancer cells are . . . bumped or something, or they grow more. That’s when cancer starts.” “Okay [something about farts].”
—Me and Graham
Wow that is so a bad explanation lol lol lol lol
*For the record, “p.” or “v.” or . . . w/e . . . those things mean “pretty” and “very” and . . . whatever lol.
July 2010
My birthday is what in 5 days? That’s p cool that’s p. cool. Lauren Fairweather de The Moaning Myrtles is gonna come out with her boyfriend NONEOTHERTHAN Matt Maggiacomo who is not really that fancy at all. I fooled ya. He’s from The Whomping Willows. Also A Slack is joining us with NONEOTHERTHAN his girlfriend something something who I’m anxious to meEeEeEet.
I don’t know what I want for my bday or what people are going to GIVE me? I literally have all I want and that sounds very “oh what a cute cancer kid I’ve got watery eyes” but really it’s just “I already own things of interest.”
Oh my how I want to write a story in here but I haven’t the energy. There’s a dumb one and a lesser dumb but much more difficult story cooking up in my head. They seem okay . . .
And now I’m off to prance into bed and create a hide-and-seek world on paper!!! ~~~
So. I’ve done nothing today oh I made these silly “characters” for a “paper hide & seek” I’m making. Idk what [am] I even doing ha.
I also spent about three hours (making the characters :3) What do I even do bye.
Thursday/July 29/s.o.b*: tired. Mood: thoughtful?
As I wrote out “tired,” I noticed Blueberry staring, wide-eyed I might add, at me. “Oh that cat,” I thought to myself, “he sure is a curious fellow.”
I proceeded to slowly write th-, then look back up at his round eyes. And oug- o dear me, he was watching the pen’s movements . . . ! htf- don’t autistic kids do something familiar? u- watch things move (such as a mouse cursor, which Blue himself has stared down)? -1 Perhaps Blueberry has some of the same traits as some autistic people do some of their life. Is that a possible thing? Ok.
You’ve come to Esther’s UEDA
Thank you for watching.
Video transcript, nothing more than feelings,
August 9, 2010
First scans tomorrow. I feel scared that they will show up and the cancer will either not have been reduced, or will—there will be more. I feel scared that it will have spread to my bones. I feel kind of lonely because lately I haven’t kept in touch much with my friends. And it’s just something that I feel a lot of the time, seeing as I mainly sit in bed, occasionally on my couch, and, um, spend most of the time with my family or my cats. I feel tired, I’ve always felt tired. I’m confused, very confused. Oh my goodness, confusion is very, very high on my list of feelings right now! I’m also proud of, of pushing myself lately, because, I mean you guys don’t know any of this because it’s just a day to day life thing, like I don’t record it, but I’ve been pushing myself lately to wake up in the morning and to do things.
I feel bored. I feel so many more feelings but there’re so many, that I just can’t even find them. I feel slightly overwhelmed by that, that I can’t even figure out what all my feelings are. And I feel sad about things that have happened in my life. And I feel happy that I’m still alive, but I feel kind of ashamed that I’m not doing that much with my life. I feel kind of like I’m fooling people, because you know, in my videos, and in what John Green and all those amazing people have said about me, like, they say these amazing things about me but I feel like I’m fooling you all, because I’m not always amazing, and I’m not always awesome, and I’m not always strong, and I’m not always brave, and you guys should know that, you know? I mean, I’m not always this perfect person. I get pissed, I get, I do stupid things. I . . . I get angsty. I cry. I hate my cancer. I judge people. I yell at my parents. I . . . sometimes wish I’d never gone through this, and then I realize that if that happened I wouldn’t be who I am, and then I get all like “Oh, that’s just confusing.” But then sometimes I do wish it never happened, the cancer thing.
If you are, like, a person with feelings, I kind of urge you to like, write this, write in your diary or your blog post or a video or on a Post-it, like your feelings, because it feels good to just like, kind of see what they are, and even if you can’t figure out all of them, because, holy crap the brain has a lot of feelings! And your heart, or whatever, is an anatomy, anata, anatomicalla-cally correct. I will see you guys tomorrow. Probably.
Thursday, August 12, 2010 9:45 PM, EDT
Esther is 16 . . . (I can’t possibly be the mother of children aged 21, 19, 16, 14 and 6!) Esther’s birthday was low key, with several friends over and lots of intellectual and fun conversation. Dessert was Esther’s favorite cake: Black Tie Chocolate Mousse Cake from Olive Garden. Mmm! She opened some very creative gifts, plus she’s received cards, emails, and a few packages from friends and family near and far. Thank you, everyone!
Monday we were back to the routine, with a long day at the hospital for PET and CT scans, and blood tests. After review, the doctors say that the “smart drug” chemo seems to be slowing down her cancer for now, which is a good thing. It’s also giving her very high blood pressure, so tonight she started on a new medication for that. The best news is that the cancer continues to be contained in her lung area, with no spread to bones, which they were worried about.
Last night we had a game night and played Harry Potter Clue; Abby won! Tonight Graham, Abby and Esther are watching The Lord of the Rings—sounds very exciting in there! We are blessed . . .
Lori (for the Earl clan)
“An A+ drawing of Blueberry at his best,”
AUGUST 14, 2010
August 14, 2010
• I just finished drawing it in pencil; hope going over it in pen (so it stays) doesn’t ruin it too too much.
• Oh dang you, Current Dad! Neither you nor Mom are meant to see this journal until it is jam-packed full of entertaining anecdotes!!! and random drawings, mainly of cats. . . .
Oh this is August 13?—no, 14—and I drew this right now lol and it took about 45 min? Blue kept shifting positions HAH.
But yeah, I’ma go get make up’d and clothes and crap b/c* Mom, Angie, Abby and I are going out to a movie called Eat Pray Love that does NOT look like a chick flick at allll! I’ve seen way too many of these in my lifetime . . .
- happy guy/girl
- sad guy/girl
- crazy adventure
- meet kooky lover
- kiss
- love
Okay there are a few different types of chick flicks, but that is one of them!!!
GOTTA GO OR THE EARL GIRLS’LL LEAVE W/O ME!
Friday, August 20, 2010
I don’t know what sparked Abe’s current “need for Mom.” For some reason I’m thinking it was after a longish stay in the hospital full of “is Mom going to be here tonight or Dad or what??” and it must have been/is hard on the guy.* It makes me sad to see him like: 
In other news I woke up this morning (7 pm) with a nose bleed. That’s right; I woke up with blood all up in my Bi-PAP mask. It. Was. Fun—
Actually, so far, my day has only been like 4–5 hours long. I’m really going crazy with this “life” thing!!!!! I’m even lying here writing and my eyes’ll close. Silly eyes, I thought you stood for: Escalating Your Eeeeemediate Stimulation ???
GOOD NIGHT.
Sunday, August 22, 2010 1:30 PM, EDT
Summer is zooming by . . . the Earls are getting ready for college, middle school, and first grade! And Esther has decided now that she is sixteen to officially withdraw from high school, and begin working on passing her GED. So we’ll be ordering a few books and encouraging her to study. Plus, that will allow her to continue her sleep-all-day, stay up until midnight routine!
Medically, Esther’s blood pressure continues pretty high, but is controlled. The newest complication is possible damage to her kidneys from the chemo. Which means daily blood tests until we see if her kidney will spontaneously recover. Wayne says cancer is like fighting a battle on one front, thinking you’re winning, then finding out the enemy has snuck up from the side to engage you again. (well, he says it more eloquently!—that’s my summary) All I know is that each day is new, uncharted territory.
We’ll keep in touch . . .
Lori
