Moon 12
The Moon of Reconciliation
Moon Twelve of the Avalonian Cycle of Revealing is called the Moon of Reconciliation and is associated with the herb motherwort (Leonurus cardiaca). The lunar month begins on the first full moon when the sun is in Scorpio; the full moon is in Taurus. It is the last of four moons during the Time of Rhiannon.
As with all things, the cycle turns again to return to where it began. How we enter into the next cycle has everything to do with the ways in which we have embraced the lessons of what came before. Releasing our attachment to situations and people who have harmed us permits us to be in a place of greater Sovereignty. Forgiving ourselves for the things that we have done which have not been in support of our sovereign selves helps us to be more open to receiving the gifts of healing arising from our perseverance in the face of situations outside our control. This helps free us from anxiety and readies us to enter the Cauldron of Transformation anew. There’s no end, but there is more room to grow.
The Mythic Portion
Around the same time that Rhiannon was accused and punished for having destroyed her son, the lord of Gwent-Ys-Coed in southeastern Wales, named Teyrnon Twryf Liant, owned the most beautiful mare in all of the land. Each year on May Eve, the mare would give birth, but the foals always disappeared without a trace that same night. On this occasion, Teyrnon was determined to unravel the mystery. Armed with weapons, he brought the foaling mare into his house in order to keep watch over her. After night fell, a strong and sturdy foal was born. As Teyrnon was admiring the newborn, he heard a terrible commotion—an enormous clawed arm reached through the window to steal the foal. Grabbing a sword, he saved the foal by cutting off the creature’s arm, who screamed and ran off into the darkness with Teyrnon in close pursuit.
As he followed the creature’s trail, Teyrnon remembered that he left the door of the house open. He raced home to secure the horses and arrived to find a richly swaddled infant child laying in the doorway. Straight away, he brought the baby to his wife who had never borne a child, and they decided to raise it as their own, although they recognized that the baby was likely the offspring of nobility. They named the child Gwri Golden-Hair, and he grew at such an astounding rate that after only four years he was the size and maturity of a child twice his age. Gwri’s foster mother gave him the colt who had been born on the day he was found as his own.
Around this time, Teyrnon and his wife began to hear stories of Rhiannon’s penance. Looking at the quickly-growing Gwri, they both realized that he bore a striking resemblance to Pwyll, at whose court Teyrnon had once served. They determined that Gwri was likely the son of Pwyll and Rhiannon, and decided it was the right thing to return the boy to his parents so that Rhiannon’s unjust punishment could finally end. They rode to Arberth where Rhiannon met them at the gate and offered to carry them to the court, but they refused. After feasting with Pwyll and Rhiannon with Teyrnon seated between them, the lord of Gwent-Ys-Coed revealed how the boy had come to be in his care and stated that no one could look upon him and not acknowledge that he was the son of Pwyll; Rhiannon had clearly been unjustly accused.
Rhiannon replied, “Oh, if only this was true! Then I would be delivered of my anxiety!” And it is thus that the boy who had been called Gwri was named by his true mother, based on the first thing she said upon learning he had survived; he was called Pryderi ap Pwyll Pen Annwfyn, which means Anxiety, son of Wisdom, the Head of Annwn. Rhiannon was exonerated of all wrong-doing, and Pryderi was raised to be the most noble of men. After Pwyll’s death, Pryderi became lord over all of Dyfed, and later unified the kingdoms of southern Wales under his just rule.
The Work of the Moon of Reconciliation
In the end, it is Rhiannon’s graceful endurance, her commitment to her truth, and her refusal to be moved from the knowledge of who she is even in the face of injustice that ultimately bring her vindication: her child restored to her and all imbalances are set to right. Rhiannon teaches through example how we can fortify ourselves as we move through the challenges of our own lives. She inspires us with the hope that when we endure while centered in ourselves, not only will we make it through any trials before us, we will be transformed in the process.
The experiences that life brings us are not always under our control. No one invites tragedy, loss, illness, financial struggle, or abuse into their lives. Sometimes we are caught in cycles of poverty or domestic abuse from which it is difficult to rise up. Some of us live in places that have been devastated by natural disasters, ravished by war, or know intense oppression. The challenges of our day to day lives can include struggles with chronic pain, mental illness, pervasive loneliness and neglect, and intense fatigue from doing all the things needed to function in this world and have what is needed to survive. Single parents working multiple jobs to make ends meet for themselves and their children do not typically have the luxury of time to pursue daily spiritual practices or the resources needed in order to live the life they envision for themselves. Those who have physical disabilities are challenged at every turn with issues of accessibility, and those with chronic illness often struggle to have the energy needed to engage in the work they long to be doing.
Rhiannon’s example teaches us that we need not allow the present or permanent circumstances of our lives to be what defines us. If anything, it is during her punishment that she finds and expresses the most primal and pure manifestation of her Sovereignty, embracing her equine aspect in a clear and powerful way. We are called, then, to find and embrace our inner Sovereignty during our times of greatest travail; to bring our focus within when the circumstances around us do not support the truth of who we know ourselves to be; to fortify ourselves from within—that place where we have all that we need, where nothing can be taken away from us, and where the truth of who we are is not dependent upon whatever is around us.
By looking at the trials of our lives—where we are suffering, where we know lack, where we feel loss—as portals into recognition of our inner strength and inherent power, we are able to affect a deep and lasting shift in our perspective and in how we approach our challenges. Rhiannon calls us to transform the mounting block into a throne, to seek and maintain our Sovereignty no matter the circumstances of our lives. When we look at our challenges as opportunities for growth rather than punishment or the manifestation of some cruel mechanism of fate, we find that they can be deep teachers that catalyze change and show us the wisdom of letting go.
So, let us let go of our expectations of how we thought things would be, in order to allow ourselves the gift of presence in how things are.
Let us let go of our disappointment in situations that didn’t unfold the way we hoped they would, so we can learn what we must from them as we gather the courage and resources we need in order to try again.
Let us release self-recrimination, something that only serves to further obscure the truth and bind us to a past we cannot alter.
Let us release the need for perfection, so that we may instead celebrate what is present and permit ourselves the vulnerability that comes with declaring something to be, at last, complete.
We must let go of blame, so that we can take responsibility for our healing and commit ourselves to change.
We must let go of fear so that love can enter.
When we are on the other side of these limiting beliefs—when we have made it through the darkness and the trauma, through the disappointment and the pain, through the trial and the challenge—we must also gift ourselves with the ability to set our burdens down, and free ourselves from anxiety. We must ensure that we only allow the strength and wisdom that arises from our challenges to move forward with us.
At its deepest level, reconciliation can be approached as a powerful inner accounting; a balancing of our energetic books which allows us to assess our strengths and weaknesses in order to identify the places where we have successfully affected positive change alongside those parts of our spiritual gardens still in need of tending. Acknowledging these parts of ourselves is not intended to bring us shame, cause us to feel unworthy, or think we have not done enough work. Rather it is an opportunity for self-acceptance and forgiveness that allows us to put down the burdens we need no longer carry so we may move forward with joy and clarity to the next round of cycle.
Searching Deeper
It is at this point that Rhiannon’s story becomes deeply complex. Early Celticists theorized that there were at least two versions of this tale that split off from the original while it was yet part of an oral tradition, and that the medieval redactor struggled to put the pieces back together.28 More recent theories suggest that the story was constructed in this way deliberately, even if we do not fully understand the meaning.29
To begin, the parallel storyline between Rhiannon’s loss of her newborn and Teyrnon’s mare’s annual loss of her foal cannot be overlooked. There are Otherworldly happenings afoot, not in the least because this takes place on Calan Haf (the threshold day between winter and summer) that the infant is found on Teyrnon’s threshold to underscore this point. The foal is born the same night as Rhiannon’s son, and as punishment for allegedly having destroyed her child, Rhiannon is forced to act like a horse at the gates of the town.
Teyrnon himself is an interesting character. In the same way that Rhiannon’s name derives from *Rīgantona, an Old Celtic name meaning “Divine Queen,” Teyrnon’s name is believed to be the Welsh form of the Old Celtic *Tīgernonos, which means “Divine or Great Lord.” His full name in the First Branch is given as Teyrnon Twryf Liant, which means “Divine Lord of the Thundering Waters.” 30 While we simply do not have enough information to form any solid conclusions about any of this (Pwyll is quite clearly given as Pryderi’s father here in the First Branch as well as elsewhere in Welsh literature including the mythological poems of Taliesin), it is intriguing to wonder what it means that the names of Pryderi’s mother and foster father are mirror images of each other.
There may also be some significance in the fact that horses and the ocean are connected in the mythology of many cultures. For example, in Irish tradition Manannán mac Lir is a god of the sea, and his watery chariot is pulled by a horse that could traverse both land and water. Indeed, the waves of the sea themselves were sometimes called “the horses of Manannán.” Interestingly, Rhiannon weds Manawydan fab Ll
r in the Third Branch of Y Mabinogi, who is clearly a cognate divinity to Manannán mac Lir, although he does not display any association with the sea in the Welsh tale.
Because Teyrnon, whose full name also reflects a connection with water, was successful in saving his foal from the monster (which ostensibly dropped the newborn it had stolen from Rhiannon when its arm was cut off) he was able to save Pryderi as well. Years later, Teyrnon saved Rhiannon from her unjust punishment when he did the right thing and brought the boy he had raised as his own back to his family:
Teyrnon turned to Rhiannon and said, “This is your son, my lady. And whoever told lies against you are wrong.” Rhiannon replied. “What a relief from my anxiety if that were true!” and it is from this utterance that Pryderi, from the word pryder, meaning “anxiety,” received his name from Rhiannon.31
The family is thus reunited, and Rhiannon regains her rightful place as queen.
Seeking Sovereignty Within:
Journaling Prompts and Self-Reflective Questions
Moon Twelve
The Moon of Reconciliation
The Time of Rhiannon
Mythic Focus: Rhiannon is reunited with her lost son, rejoins her husband, and is restored to her queenship.
Personal Insights Around This Moon’s Mythic Portion: Meditate upon the portion of Rhiannon’s story associated with this moon, and reflect it within yourself. Her story is your story.
The Focus of the Moon of Reconciliation by Phase
Seek the lessons of the Moon of Reconciliation at each moon phase by using the Stations of the monthly Cycle of Healing; be sure to journal all of the insights, symbols, and guidance you receive from each goddess at each moon phase. As you work with the information you receive between each phase, perhaps following the daily process outlined in Chapter 3 of this book, and using tools such as trance postures and doorways as detailed in Avalon Within, be sure to record those insights in your journal as well.
Full Moon: Connect with Rhiannon at the full moon to set up your work for the month and to receive insight on the issue of focus. Review the work of the previous month and the insights it brought to you, set up your work for the coming month, and ask for insights on the issue of focus which may have shifted or deepened due to the work you have done.
Third Quarter: Station of Descent in the cycle of the moon. Bring the issue of focus to Rhiannon to explore through the filters of the Station of Descent and the Moon of Reconciliation.
Dark Moon: Station of Confrontation in the cycle of the moon. Bring the issue of focus to Ceridwen to explore through the filters of the Station of Confrontation and the Moon of Reconciliation.
First Quarter: Station of Emergence in the cycle of the moon. Bring the issue of the focus to Blodeuwedd to explore through the filters of the Station of Emergence and the Moon of Reconciliation.
Night before the Full Moon: Station of Resolution in the cycle of the moon. Bring the issue of focus to Arianrhod to explore through the filters of the Station of Resolution and the Moon of Reconciliation.
At any point in the month, bring the issue of focus to Branwen to explore through the Station of Integration and the Moon of Reconciliation. Some women will do this on the night after the dark moon in counterpoint to working with Arianrhod on the night before the full moon.
Herbal Ally for the Moon of Reconciliation
Motherwort (Leonurus cardiaca)
Creating the Mother Elixir: On the night of the full moon, create your Motherwort Lunar Elixir using the directions found on page 105 of Chapter 4. Be sure to label and date the bottle you are using to store the Mother Elixir. Journal any of your experiences around the creation of the Motherwort Elixir.
Prepare the Daughter Elixir: After you have made the Mother Elixir, use the directions found on page 107 of Chapter 4 to prepare a dosage bottle for use in the daily experience of this elixir throughout the month. Remember to use a blue or amber dropper bottle for this purpose, and to clearly label your Daughter Elixir.
Daily Work with the Motherwort Elixir: As discussed in Chapter 4, begin your daily exploration of the Motherwort Elixir. Be sure to journal everything you can about how the elixir makes you feel, what you think its energetic actions are, where it sits in your energy body, and any and all impressions, insights, symbols, visions, and memories it presents to you:
Week One of Moon Twelve: Immerse yourself in the lunar elixir by taking it every day, reflecting upon how it makes you feel, and journaling all of the insights that come to you when you meditate upon the energies of the elixir.
Week Two of Moon Twelve: Continue to take the lunar elixir daily, but this week spend time experiencing and comparing the energetic impact of motherwort as an essence, and motherwort as a magical herb that you burn, as detailed in Chapter 4. Again, reflect upon how each makes you feel, and journal all of the insights that come to you when you meditate upon the energies of the elixir and the energies of the herb itself.
Week Three of Moon Twelve: Continue to take the lunar elixir daily, but this week spend time researching the medicinal, folkloric, and magical uses of motherwort, beginning with the information provided in Part Three of this book. Compare your findings this week with your direct experiences, being sure to journal all of the insights and connections you’ve made.
Week Four of Moon Twelve: Continue to take the lunar elixir daily, but this week meditate upon the mythic portion of the month and reflect upon the ways in which the energies of motherwort are related to the present portion of Rhiannon’s tale, and how it helps you to build a relationship with Rhiannon herself.
End of Moon Reflections: Under what circumstances could you see yourself using the Motherwort Elixir in support of your work and personal process? If you had to describe the actions of this lunar elixir using one word, what would it be? What about using one sentence? What about using a whole paragraph? Again, be sure to journal everything.
Working: Journey Into the
Sacred Landscape of Rhiannon
Gorsedd Arberth
Please perform the induction to travel over the Ninth Wave, as found on page 74, and then proceed with the working below. When you have completed it, be sure to return from across the Ninth Wave, using the visualization found on page 76.
Having crossed the Ninth Wave into the Otherworld, disembark and envision a silver tether that extends from the center of your torso to the vessel which bore you here; it is of endless length and will expand and retract as necessary as you explore this Realm Over Wave, while keeping you connected to the boat in order to facilitate your return.
Take three deep, anchoring breaths, and immerse yourself in the energies of this place. It is the reflection of the Gorsedd Arberth here in the realm of the Mythic Otherworld. Stand now at the foot of this round and pregnant hill of magic. It is surrounded by a hedge of hawthorn, following the perimeter of the ancient bank and ditch enclosure that once marked this as a sacred space. Walk along the path hugging the foundation of this holy hill, seeking and finding the break in the hedgerow—the place where you can pass between. Stand before this open space and connect with your intention as a seeker who wishes to sit upon the Gorsedd Arberth to receive wisdom and support from the Otherworld. Feel yourself fully present in this moment. When you are ready, take a deep breath in, hold it as you step through the threshold, and when both of your feet are firmly planted on the other side, exhale.
Become aware of the path that winds around and up the hillside, and with intention, begin to walk toward the top. With each step, you move higher up the hill, while simultaneously feeling yourself seeking deeper into your self. With each step, all energies of resistance, all ties of attachment fall away and your find yourself centered, fully grounded, and fully present. To sit upon the Gorsedd Arberth is to risk becoming assailed with many blows and wounds—or else one will see a wonder. It is the degree of one’s own Sovereignty that determines which of the two you will encounter.
Find the very center of the hill, and there, at its apex, you see a bowl filled with sweet honey mead. Take it into your hands and fill it with your gratitude for the work you have come to do in this space. Charge it with your intention to gift it to honor the ancestors, the spirits of place, and all who dwell upon the land. When you are ready, pour it out with reverence and watch as the liquid is absorbed into the earth and is received. Become aware of how the energies of your intention sink down into the hill and through it spreads out into the landscape, illuminating the lines of energy arching across the land.
Feeling welcome in this space, find a place to sit crossed-legged on the top of the hill. Close your eyes and connect with your breathing, relaxing into a natural and rhythmic pattern as you clear your mind from all distractions. When you feel centered and ready to receive, take nine deep and intentional breaths. With each inhalation, the veil between the worlds becomes thinner. With each exhalation, attachment to this world falls away. In and out. In and out. With the ninth and final breath, open your eyes and find yourself sitting on the shore of a small island, surrounded by ocean as far as the eye can see.
Stand and plant your feet firmly on the beach of the island. Take three deep centering breaths. As you anchor your focus, it comes to you that you have journeyed to Gwales, an Otherworldly island off the shore of Dyfed. Observe everything you can about the landscape of this place. Its dominating geographical feature is the elevated area in the center of the island. Upon it is built a sturdy fortress; even from where you stand, you notice that it possesses many windows and many doors. Follow the path that leads you away from the shore, bringing you up and up and up the sloping hillside until you are standing in front of the fortress’ main entrance. It is opened to you.
Take a moment as you stand before this doorway and become aware of your breath. Feel it rise and fall in unison with the ocean waves that crash and recede on the shores of the island all around you. With your inner eye, follow your breath down into the hidden core of the self, moving deeper and deeper into the fabric of your personal history with each cycle of breath. With focused intention, connect with those parts of yourself that hold your deepest pain, the wounds or memories that fill you with sorrow or regret, the fears that keep you stuck and imprisoned. You don’t need to become overwhelmed with the energies of these shadow aspects of self—simply become aware of them, consciously acknowledge them, and bless their presence in your life.
Ask if there are any particular shadow aspects that you are most in need of examining today. Allow the awareness of this part of yourself to rise to the surface of your consciousness, bringing with it any attendant emotional experiences. Take some time to really witness and experience these emotions, honoring them as the bearers of information they are. When you are ready, ask this painful part of yourself to reveal itself to you in the form of a symbol. When you have received it, acknowledge and remember everything you can about it.
Keeping this image in the forefront of your consciousness, look to the fortress in front of you. When you are ready and with focused intention, pass through the open doorway and enter. Find yourself in a great feasting hall that is richly appointed with beautiful tapestries and artwork. At the center of the hall is a grand table burdened with every kind of food and drink. Become aware of the tantalizing smells of the delicious food. As you move closer to the table, you find that you can hear the rise and fall of the soft laughter of many people surrounding you, although you can see no one else in the hall.
Still, you feel comfortable in this space and survey the enormous table until you find the place you know has been lain for you. Sit before your place setting, and notice when you look down that the plate itself is a very reflective golden color—you can make out your own features in its mirrored surface. Hungry, you reach for a platter of some of the rich food before you but no matter what you do, you find that anything you try to take hold of is just out of reach. Thirsty, you reach for a carafe of wine, but in the same way, there are none you can pick up to pour into your empty cup. You feel frustrated and take three deep breaths. As you do so, you ask what it is that keeps you from participating in the feast around you. Keep yourself open to receive the answer: perhaps it will be in the form of a symbol, a voice you hear, a memory you experience, or a scene that plays out in front of your eyes. Allow the answer to unfold in the way you most need to experience, and be sure to commit to memory what you have seen.
Take three deep, centering breaths. As you integrate this insight, you become aware that the laughter has died down into silence; arising from the silence you hear the most heartbreakingly beautiful birdsong you have ever known. Really listen to this incredible music and take note of how hearing it makes you feel in body, mind, and spirit. Although you cannot see them, you know without a shadow of doubt there are three birds singing that seem to be simultaneously a great distance away but sound as though they are right there in the hall with you. Spend some time experiencing their complexly textured song and know that you are being visited by the Adar Rhiannon—the Birds of Rhiannon.
Still listening, bring the image of the symbol of focus you received outside before you entered the fortress—the one that represents the shadow aspect you need most to work with at this point in your journey. When that image becomes clear in your mind’s eye, focus your attention on the melody of the first bird, the one singing with the voice of the past. Experience this tune growing louder and more distinct. It has a message for you about the origins of the pain you are focusing on. Journey along with the notes of the tune and look into the mirrored plate before you until you see another symbol form on its surface representing the origin of this pain. Listen and remember.
When you are ready, shift your attention to the melody of the second bird. It sings with the voice of the present and has a message for you about the ways in which this sorrow manifests and affects your life in the here and the now. Journey along with the notes of the tune and look into the mirrored plate before you until you see yet another symbol form on its surface—this one represents the manifestation of this pain. Listen and remember.
When you are ready, shift your attention once more to become aware of the melody of the third bird. It sings with the voice of the future and has a message for you about what you can do to release the pain of this wound so that it no longer affects your life. Journey along with the notes of the tune and look into the mirrored plate before you until you see yet another symbol form on its surface—this one represents the release of this pain. Listen and remember.
Take three deep, anchoring breaths with gratitude for the symbols you have received as well as to reweave the three strains of the birds’ song back into one grand and harmonized piece. When you have done so, the three birds suddenly appear in the hall with you, singing together as they fly in a circle around your head three times. As they do so, you feel yourself becoming lighter, you feel your burdens fading, and experience your heart becoming filled with a deep and abiding joy—all pain disappears, all sorrow forgotten.
Remember how it feels to be thus released of your cares. Look at yourself on surface of the golden plate once more. See the person you can be when you release that which holds you back, whatever keeps you stagnant and living in fear. See the person you will become when you heal this wounded aspect of yourself. Take three deep and centering breaths. See. Listen. Remember.
Become aware of the sounds of laughter once more and realize that it is bubbling up from within you. Finally, you can fully participate in the feast before you, but you are so full of joy that the laden tables hold no further interest. Take note, however, of what you see and hear and experience.
When you are ready, rise from the table, and stand before the only closed door in the hall. With your breath and intention, open the door and look through it out over the sea, where you can make out the shoreline of Cornwall. The enchantment is broken, and it is time for you to return home, bringing with you the memory of all you have seen and experienced. When you are ready, step through the door … and find yourself back on the Gorsedd Arberth, sitting in the sunlight … grateful for having seen a wonder.
When you are ready, take three deep centering breaths. Remember all you have seen, received, and committed to in this moment. Follow the thread that connects you to the vessel that took you to this Land Beyond Wave. Take your place in the boat once more to begin the journey back over the Nine Waves to the place that is Here and the time that is Now.