18
Life Lessons in the Course Curriculum
Every soul comes into this world strengthened by the victories and weakened by the defeats of its previous life.
ORIGEN
B y now we have taken a look at the very nature of the Soul itself, the stages of its evolution, and some of the ways in which our little self gets trapped in the patterns of duality, taking us down a rabbit’s hole that keeps us feeling separate from our intrinsic nature, which is the Divine. So let us now examine some of the lessons that the Soul must master over the course of its long journey. Each lifetime contains valuable lessons unique to the individual, yet in truth we must all ultimately master every one of the important lessons in life, whether in this lifetime or another. The question is always this: How can we best use the life that has been given to us?
Here are some of the most important life lessons that I have discovered over the course of thousands of readings. Take a look at table 18.1 below and see which themes seem to be playing out in your life today. Because self-realization is a constantly evolving process, all of us are somewhere on the continuum between “just beginning,” “crisis,” and “mastery.” There are check boxes beside each virtue so that you can do an honest evaluation for yourself. Remember, there’s no one judging you but yourself. In other words, this is between you and your higher Self. Also, try to bear in mind that whatever we resist learning in this life will persist, continuing to present itself as a lesson again and again, in this or future lifetimes, until we have found a way to embrace and make peace with it.
TABLE 18. 1. DISCOVERING YOUR LIFE LESSONS
Place a check mark where you are on the scale for each value.
Quality
Just Beginning
In Process
Full Crisis
Continued Practice
Already Mastered
Truth
Honor
Kindness
Patience
Speaking up
Listening
Humility
Selflessness
Gratitude
Generosity
Allowing
Sharing
Creative self-expression
Compassion
Devotion
Nonjudgment
Honesty
Leadership
Discipline
Responsibility
Independence
Interdependence
Commitment
Team-building
Respect
Endurance
Right use of
power
Focus
Communication
Multitasking
Giving
Receiving
Letting go
Surrender
Detachment
Courage
Faith
Love
Forgiveness
Balance
Healthy boundaries
Strength
Imagination
Service
Spiritual connection
Inner peace
Love of self
Love of others
Healing self
Healing others
Male-female integration
Wisdom
Connection with
nature
Awakening your spiritual gifts
Soul Themes
When a person’s life is considered as a whole, there are powerful themes that emerge. Some themes may be about learning to balance one’s masculine and feminine energies, particularly because these aspects have been so out of balance in the world at large. Earlier generations of men were not taught that it was okay to express sensitivity and emotions, considered attributes of the (feminine) right side of the brain. Likewise, countless generations of women have been oppressed by this same patriarchy and prevented from creatively expressing their power (except in the household), creating a huge imbalance in the world today. As a result we have shut down many of our innate spiritual abilities and our connection with the heartbeat of the cosmos. So in our era, many people are still grappling with finding this balance within themselves, as well as in their personal relationships.
In addition, this authoritarian patriarchal mentality has played out in our approach to religion, in the workplace, in our disregard for the Earth, in our cruelty to animals, and in our dualistic system of medicine that does not see the body, mind, and spirit as a related whole. Another way this imbalance is seen is in the PVR triangle, discussed in the last chapter. The negative aspect of the female plays out as the victim, while the negative male aspect is seen as the persecutor, regardless of what gender body we are in. We can see these destructive dynamics expressed in personal and romantic relationships as people struggle to redefine how to rebalance their yin and yang energies. Yet things are getting better with each generation, not only because we are finally coming around to acknowledging that “women’s rights are human rights,” but because women are stepping more fully into their own creative power, and men are being encouraged to feel, examine, and express their emotions.
Soul themes run on autopilot in the background of our lives. Some themes appear small, while others are epic. Some lives seem to be about creating a family, fitting into a community, and the daily sacrifices required to raise an emotionally healthy child. While these lifetimes might seem unexceptional on the surface, they can be big in terms of long-term rewards. Through the experience of learning intimacy, communication, and doing for others, the Soul learns patience, humility, listening, compromise, forbearance, prioritizing goals, and unconditional love. Life is in the details. In our daily interactions we get to apply these spiritual principles at a practical level and test the limits of how these virtues have grown in us. So no life is average. Each lifetime is extraordinary, provided the Soul uses it in the proper way.
When we look around us, it is clear that some people’s themes center around learning the lessons of faith, integrity, honesty, courage, or humility. These lifetimes are full of challenges designed to test how well each one of us can embody these spiritual values. There are also the great heroic lifetimes, like those of soldiers who risk their lives on the frontlines of danger. These themes are clearly about bravery, strength, camaraderie, and vigilance. Yet even these lifetimes have a million small lessons contained within them: patience, tolerance, interdependence, solitude, discipline, teamwork, and strategy.
Some people’s lifetimes are more about learning how to express themselves creatively, either through painting, drawing, writing, singing, music, dance, or theater. These lives teach us to listen to the Divine, follow our dreams, hold a vision, and develop the single-mindedness of purpose to manifest that dream into form. And if that discipline turns into success, then to remember not to be carried away by fortune, fame, ego, or pride. Other themes are about overcoming generational patterns of bigotry, prejudice, ignorance, and fear that has plagued our world for millennia and is seen in discrimination based on race, nationality, gender, or sexual orientation. Such blind judgment is really based on an illusion, of course, since each one of us incarnates in many different forms over the course of our Soul’s long evolutionary arc. But since these themes are also global, the transformation of intolerance is a personal issue that also has a major impact on our planet.
Choosing the New Life
Before we incarnate in every lifetime we meet with our own Council of Elders, beings who have overseen our spiritual development for many lifetimes. Along with our personal spirit guides, this group of advanced Souls, sometimes called the Lords of Karma or Council of Light, helps us to review our strengths and weaknesses and establish objectives for the upcoming life. Then we enter the Ring of Destiny and select the life we wish to live, based on the goals for that particular incarnation. We decide on the environment, the family, the body, the soul agreements with others, and the challenges we will face, all designed to build our character, overcome a past weakness, atone for unresolved karma, or carry out our greater mission. The masters tell us that in each new life we acquire a new mental and astral body that springs from the seeds of our past accomplishments and from the “germs” of our previous thoughts and emotions that carry over from lifetime to lifetime. Theosophist Alice Bailey explains this well:
When the man . . . has thus clothed himself with a new body for his coming life on the lower mental levels, he proceeds, by vivifying the astral germs, to provide himself with an astral body for his life on the astral plane. This, again, exactly represents his desire-nature, faithfully reproducing the qualities he evolved in the past. . . . Thus the man stands, fully equipped for his next incarnation, the only memory of the events of his past being in the causal body, in his own enduring form, the one body that passes on from life to life . . .
In past lives he [the Soul] had made ties with, contracted liabilities towards, other human beings, and some of these will partly determine his place of birth and his family. He has been a source of happiness or of unhappiness to others; this is a factor in determining the conditions of his coming life. His desire nature is well-disciplined, or unregulated and riotous; this will be taken into account in the physical heredity of the new body. He had cultivated certain mental powers such at the artistic; this must be considered, as here again physical heredity is an important factor where delicacy of nervous organization and tactile sensibilities are required. And so on, in endless variety . . .
All this is done by certain mighty spiritual Intelligences, often spoke of as the Lords of Karma, because it is their function to superintend the working out of causes continually set going by thoughts, desires, and actions. They hold the threads of destiny which each man has woven, and guide the reincarnating man to the environment determined by his past, unconsciously self-chosen through his past life.
The race, the nation, the family, being thus determined, what may be called the mold of the physical body—suitable for the expression of the man’s qualities, and for the working out of the causes he has set going—is given by these great Ones [the Lords of Karma], and the new etheric double [that surrounds the physical body], a copy of this is built within the mother’s womb by the agency of an elemental, the thought of the Karmic Lords being its motive power. 1
Thus we find that the choice of the body, mind, and emotional temperament we recieve in each new lifetime is based on the desires, thoughts, and accomplishments of past lifetimes, which helps to build a continuity between life lessons. This slow, gradual accumulation of experiences leads to wisdom, creating a powerful foundation for ultimate mastery. Likewise, the physical body that starts anew in every lifetime, but the talents, gifts, and affinities we have developed through time come with us. This allows the Soul to begin developing strong Soul themes that follow us from life to life. When we look around us we find people who are naturally gifted as mechanics, engineers, or builders; this is because they have acquired these practical abilities over lifetimes. Others are gifted musicians, singers, writers, teachers, or playwrights and show genius from an early age, like Mozart, the brilliant five-year-old prodigy who obviously spent many lifetimes developing his talent. This is also true of the subtle spiritual gifts of clairvoyance, clairsentience, clairaudience, telepathy, healing, and dream interpretation. While the propensity for a talent can certainly be inherited from one’s family line, natural levels of talent really emerge as the result of lifetimes of collective experience in a given field. Thus we should never be jealous of another person’s talent or success, for he has earned those abilities through many lifetimes of focused effort.
In the many thousands of Soul readings that I have done, I find that many Souls have spiritual themes that I would call their “strong suits.” One person’s themes may involve justice or freedom, leading her to choose lifetimes as a diplomat, journalist, political activist, statesman, or freedom fighter. Another person may develop skills in governance or warfare that can be used in this lifetime to become a fireman, policeman, National Guardsman, or city council member. Sometimes two or more of these themes can work together. For example, teaching and the arts, or teaching and healing are skill sets that work well in tandem. A person may be focused on upholding justice or peace, so she may have lifetimes as a diplomat, a therapist, a mediator, a judge, a lawyer, a psychologist, or a translator. A person who is interested in working with his hands may become a blacksmith, a farmer, an auto mechanic, a horse trainer, a cabinetmaker, a sculptor, a potter, a stonemason, a steelworker, a builder, or an engineer. A Soul that is focused on communication may incarnate as a writer, an editor, a publisher, a reporter, a spokesperson, a mediator, a translator, a public speaker, a radio host, a disc jockey, a scriptwriter, or a web designer. A Soul pursuing spirituality may incarnate as a preacher, a priest, a therapist, a healer, a teacher, a writer, a mediator, a nun, a Peace Corps worker, an inspirational singer, a philosopher, or a history professor. A Soul focused on healing may incarnate as a doctor, a nurse, an acupuncturist, a naturopath, a qigong teacher, a nutritionist, an organic farmer, the owner of a health-food store, a physical therapist, a gym owner, a bodybuilder, an athlete, a chiropractor, a Reiki practitioner, a hypnotherapist, or the developer of vitamins, cosmetics, or pharmaceuticals. You get the point.
For every theme there are a wide variety of ways to explore our interests. Many lives are lessons in courage, from the military hero who saves his buddies on the battlefield, to the single mother working two jobs just to feed her children. From our list of virtues we can see that there are many lessons to be learned no matter what your occupation. In one life we may be learning only one part of the lesson, while in another we learn the opposite.
For example, Karen’s current lifetime may be about learning the nuances of love, relationship, and intimacy, while Donna’s is about learning to stand on her own. Yet every lifetime has its pluses and minuses. Karen may feel overwhelmed with her family’s needs and have no time to cultivate her own interests, while Donna loves her freedom and career but wonders why she never got married. Between these two extremes is Kayla, who has managed to figure out the lessons of both of these two extremes and is able to develop a rewarding career and have a healthy family at the same time—clearly a course in mastery! Woven among these circumstances are the spiritual lessons we are constantly learning: the themes of patience, kindness, commitment, and love, all set against the backdrop of friendships, family, war, and the conventions of the age in which we live. Sheesh, no wonder Earth is such an advanced program!
Gathering New Experiences
As well, there comes a point when a Soul is asked to do something new so it doesn’t stagnate and can continue the dance of evolution. Thus the Council of Elders may encourage that Soul to step outside its comfort zone. For example, a Soul that has relied on fabulous good looks might decide to select a body with an average appearance to learn compassion or humility, or to focus on mental or spiritual development. A Soul that has been a warrior again and again may decide to sustain an injury so great that it cannot continue to go down that path and must begin to cultivate other talents. A Soul that has misused its own personal power repeatedly may choose to become the willing victim of abuse in the next life in order to learn about the pain and suffering caused by such an abuse of power.
Along these lines, one particular reading comes to mind. This was for a twenty-seven-year-old man who in his former life had died as a British fighter pilot in World War I. He immediately returned in another body as a British fighter pilot in World War II, where once again he died in war at an early age. Determined to continue fighting, this Soul quickly reincarnated, this time in America, where once again he enlisted in the army and subsequently died in the swamps of Vietnam. In his current life this young man’s Soul has apparently decided that enough is enough! He became a conscientious objector, openly opposing the philosophy of war. Now he is a rehabilitation specialist focused on helping wounded veterans.
Each life is planned so that it can contribute to our Soul’s evolution—if we let it. And while the mental and emotional abilities we achieved in past lifetimes have followed us into our current life, perhaps whispering to us to make a bigger difference in the world, sometimes that is not the path of our greatest evolution. In some lifetimes we are meant to develop the missing parts of ourselves that we have put to the side because we were dealing with larger issues. For this brave, courageous Soul, who had given so much to others at a larger leadership level, playing small is not always comfortable or easy. I have read for Souls that have incarnated as leaders in so many lifetimes to the exclusion of a personal life, that in this lifetime they have been told to take a vacation in order to address these neglected parts of themselves. They have pursued work and world service at the expense of personal intimacy, so their mission in this life may be to develop the bonds of familial love. Conversely, so many Souls have been steeped in the confines and responsibilities of a family life that in this lifetime they may have decided not to marry so that they can develop other parts of themselves. So while these Souls may be consciously pining after that “perfect” soul-mate relationship, that is not their path in this life. It is always best to use the time that is given to us to find our greatest service and to step up in our own lives so that we can make a difference.
The Soul’s reluctance to try something new can also apply to the choice of race or gender. For example, a Soul that has been male in many past lifetimes might be encouraged to choose a female body. Once she arrives on Earth, however, she doesn’t feel like she fits into the female form so she becomes a lesbian or transgender person. She may even go so far as to undergo surgery, because she is so uncomfortable in the body of a gender with which she is unfamiliar. However, at a higher level this choice to change genders in midstream may actually be self-defeating since this was not the person’s original life plan. Yet let me say that there are many reasons why a person may choose to undergo a life as a born homosexual or a transgender person, and one size does not fit all. For some, this may be the only way that the Soul can make the transition from one sex to another with ease. Another Soul may have chosen to be born as a gay person for other, more evolved reasons—perhaps they came to experience the lessons of courage, speaking up, nonjudgment, self-honoring, or forgiveness of others. Perhaps they came to teach that lesson to their families who are steeped in gender prejudice. Each situation is different, and each path unique. Yet the more we can embrace the lessons that are presented to us by our current circumstances, the better off we will be. By asking ourselves how the early circumstances of our life can catalyze us into our life purpose, we can find the silver lining behind these choices. When we do so, our life flows with greater ease.
Whatever our original Soul choices might have been, some of us are more stubborn than others. Yes, we agreed to make a change in this lifetime, but now we resist it. So events must occur to alter that Soul’s path. Perhaps a Soul has been a warrior in so many lifetimes that the Soul agrees to sustain a physical injury so that its old path is now closed. Perhaps that same Soul is here to awaken the inner artist, inspire others, write inspirational books, or teach children. Now, with the old path closed to them, through what appears to be tragedy, the Soul can open to the new frontier before it. It is important at this juncture not to be afraid to ask for mentoring while stepping into this new endeavor. This lifetime is not about clinging to old patterns, but rather about embracing the new. Something great is in store for the person who takes this step, knowing that a rebirth will come from these outwardly difficult events.
Adversity is always a part of the path of mastery. For example, one Soul may take on a childhood illness that seems to be a tragedy. Yet we agree to such things before we ever arrive on Earth, and the reasons can be most insightful: to inspire others, to launch a life mission, to allow the parents to experience unconditional love, to balance karma. Perhaps this Soul is destined to become a great healer and having this infirmity is what is needed to catapult that person onto their path. From the ashes of our disasters rise the victories of our Souls. Many years ago I remember reading about a man who was wrongly convicted of murder. He used his time in prison to start a spiritual study group in the prison, uplifting his fellow inmates for many years until he was finally exonerated and released. So whatever our circumstances, however grim they may be, we must always ask ourselves what we could have intended when we agreed to these challenges.
Resolving Karmic Relationships
While career occupations may seem to be the central focus of some peoples’ lives, other lives are primarily focused on resolving karmic relationships. This can be with our parents, our siblings, our children, our bosses, or our spouses. While some of these relationships may flow smoothly, other relationships seem to be a thorn in our side. However most people to whom we have strong emotional reactions and entanglements are those we have known in past lifetimes. These people may even be members of your Soul family who have incarnated to help all parties resolve past issues. While in some of our lifetimes we may have been supportive of one another, in others we might have experienced betrayal, abandonment, or abuse, and thus we return to this lifetime with these same Souls to resolve all those particular issues. In Heaven, these people may even be our friends; however in this life, we may have volunteered to play the role of the challenger so that both parties may grow. Once we incarnate, however, we don’t remember these Soul agreements, and thus it is easy to fall into the pattern of blaming others for our problems. In some cases, these “old friends” may have been with us many times. While some lifetimes may have been supportive, others were not. Thus we have returned in this lifetime to resolve old resentments. By understanding that life is like a cosmic play where everyone has agreed to play their part, we can avoid falling back into creating negative patterns. To untangle these threads we must be ever vigilant and committed to a path of self-examination and forgiveness.
Over the course of thousands of readings, I have seen many dances take place between “friends” and “enemies.” In some cases these two Souls are actually dealing with two sides of the same issue. One person may be too much of a taker, while the other is too much of a giver. Yet both people are dealing with the same core lessons: boundaries, energy, fairness, and self-love. One person falls into the role of victim, while the other one plays the persecutor, yet the lesson for both individuals is about the right use of power. In one relationship person A is too rigid or controlling, while person B is an irresponsible gambler. Yet both people are grappling with the same core issues of trust, lack, fear, and flow, just at opposite ends of the spectrum. Their issues arise from not feeling enough love, causing both people to look outside themselves to shore up their sense of insecurity.
The Wounded Healer
Whatever our karmic lessons, unless we make an effort to clear that issue, we will remain blocked in that area of life. Along these lines I want to relate the story of a wounded healer who could not seem to heal herself.
Years ago I read for a woman who had trained as a nurse, yet she could not bring herself to practice that profession. Upon inquiring I learned that she had taken a dozen classes on various forms of healing, some modern and some ancient, yet she could not bring herself to apply what she had learned. What was the reason for this? During the course of her reading I saw that she had been a doctor, a nurse, an herbalist, and a healer in about 60 percent of her lifetimes, so clearly this was an important Soul theme. However, in one of her more recent lifetimes she had been a British nurse on the front lines of World War I. When the war broke out, her father, brother, and fiancé all enlisted in the army, and during that conflict they died one by one. First, she learned that her father had been killed in action. Then news arrived that her brother had died. Finally, in the midst of her nursing triage, with bleeding men coming in from the frontlines, she received a telegram that her fiancé had died in battle. Then she herself perished when a mortar shell hit the triage tents. At the time of her death she carried with her all the anguish, despair, and hopelessness of her losses, believing that nothing she could ever do to help others would really matter. After all, what is the point if everyone I loved perished?
In her current life this young woman still carried this same unhealed belief, even though her Soul was trying to direct her back toward healing work. She needed to heal her past-life experiences so that she could reclaim her power. This is how past-life healing works, whether through hypnotherapy, time-line therapy, or holographic repatterning—all modalities that I have practiced for years. These memories, beliefs, and unconscious patterns are all held in the causal body and seep into our current life as mental and emotional blocks. Until we can discover and release the underlying cause behind these blocks and mend the traumas and wounds of the past, we are unable to move forward again with joy and ease.
In doing emotional healing work for over thirty years I have discovered that by resolving these hidden conflicts, our lives can change fundamentally. For many this means untangling the threads of personal relationships or resolving old feelings of powerlessness created by past-life tragedies. For others it means releasing a vow or negative belief from the past. For still others it’s about dissolving the feeling that you have done something wrong, changing a core belief, or needing to find forgiveness for yourself or others. These powerful, misaligned emotions brought on by previous life experiences may have been festering in the present life at a deep subconscious level. Once they are dissolved, you can move on and are free to reclaim your power in the present and achieve your dreams.
The Power to Change Our Lives
Today I see these old patterns emerging particularly among the reincarnated priests, priestesses, healers, shamans, and medicine keepers of ancient times, all of whom are advanced or master Souls. These spiritually oriented human beings have returned at this time to assist in the evolution of planet Earth. They are here to bring about revolutions in the fields of science, medicine, ecology, government, the arts, communication, spirituality, healing, and education, and many of them are extraordinary individuals. In this lifetime their Soul themes may center around saving the animals, protecting the environment, educating children, ending domestic abuse, or creating new forms of holistic healing. But to accomplish these aims they must clear away the rubble of their past lifetimes, which contain tragedies in which they might have been hanged, shamed, stoned, imprisoned, or burned at the stake during the many centuries of religious oppression in the Middle Ages. Now, in this lifetime, before they can fully step into their missions, they must first heal their own past wounding patterns, in order to bring forth their healing gifts.
While it is true that we are given new astral and mental bodies before each new incarnation, the echoes of the past still live on inside of our subconscious personalities. While each of these past lifetimes will contain gifts and talents, some of them may also contain the imprint of unresolved fears and traumas that play out in the present. Imagine, for example, that you are someone who has been a priest, a monk, a hermit, or a nun in several lifetimes. If so, you might find it harder to access your sexuality in an intimate relationship or you may feel a low level of guilt about sexual expression. This is because you have taken vows of celibacy in the past, and now, no matter how much you might want to have a passionate, fulfilling love life, the residue of these past vows lives on inside of you.
Similarly, someone who has been a Quaker, a Puritan, or an Amish person might lean toward simplicity in this life. Such a person will have a natural love of nature, duty, and fundamentalism, carrying with her the inclinations of her past lives. Someone who was persecuted for speaking out for writing or for bringing forth new inventions may have a reluctance to be seen in public for these very same abilities. She may feel misunderstood, persecuted, or judged for her ideas. If she is still writing, she may find it hard to connect with a publisher or to get financial support for her discoveries, at least until such time as she clears the traumas surrounding these past life events. A healer who was killed in a previous lifetime for her healing skills may deliberately run away from cultivating such gifts today for fear of reprisal or judgments .
When we think about it, we are the survivors of at least 1,700 years of religious intolerance and persecution by the Roman Catholic Church. This includes at least six centuries of the Inquisition where men, women, and children were arrested, hanged, imprisoned, tortured, and burned at the stake for thinking outside the box and for cultivating those spiritual gifts that are natural to human beings. Our ancestors were witnesses to those atrocities, and thus many of us, even those who are advanced or master Souls, have inherited the cellular memories of the individuals who survived these holocausts. Thus such a Soul might side-step or avoid their natural healing gifts. This brings us to the concept of love and power, which is the classic core curriculum that each Soul must master.