Moses and the Israelites came to a mountain called Mount Sinai, which was also known as Horeb.1 There they made camp, which was hard because Jews are not into camping. Our idea of roughing it is a hotel where the breakfast buffet does not have an omelet station.
Anyway, on the third day of camping, a giant cloud descended on the mountain, making the sound of a trumpet,2 so the Israelites gathered around to find out what the hell was going on. Then G-d spoke from inside the cloud. At least he said he was G-d; there was no way to tell for sure because of the cloud. Whoever was in there told the Israelites there was going to be a covenant featuring Ten Commandments. This made the Israelites nervous, because it sounded strict. Up to that point, they had been operating under the Ten Suggested Guidelines, which included “Thou shalt try to keep the noise down” and “No peeing on the campfire.”
So Moses went up into the cloud to get the Ten Commandments. He was gone for forty days and forty nights,3 which works out to four days per commandment. It was like getting a covenant from the Department of Motor Vehicles. He was gone so long that the Israelites became very upset and—we have all done this in times of stress—made a Golden Calf and worshiped it.
Finally, Moses came down with the Ten Commandments, which were written on two stone tablets because G-d had used a large font. When he saw the Golden Calf, he became ticked off and threw the tablets on the ground, breaking them. Fortunately, they were still under warranty, and G-d wrote out another set of commandments, although he changed some of the wording to eliminate the phrases “a well-regulated militia” and “Honey, while you’re out can you get me some stool softener?” These are the laws that we still obey today, except in a literal sense. Moses placed the tablets in the Lost Ark, which was stored for safekeeping in a large government warehouse.