CHAPTER 1

Why Teams Fail—It’s Not What You Think

It’s not lack of talent t hat causes team mediocrity. It’s lack of conflict.

The prevailing perception is that good teams shy away from conflict. Doing so makes them look efficient or kind. The truth is, they are holding back from experiencing precious moments. Yes, precious moments. They’re missing opportunities for collective creativity.

We refer to these tension points as oh, sh*t! moments. Maybe you don’t use such language. But have you ever noticed that even if you don’t say it aloud, inside your head you sometimes hear a booming, Oh, sh*t! How did I get here?

That’s the inner experience of being smack-dab in the middle of tension and ambiguity without any immediate answers or solutions to get past the discomfort.

Imagine you’re the head of a manufacturing company. In a team meeting, your leadership team is discussing the last steps in production for your awesome new change-the-world product. Tom, head of operations, says, “We aren’t going to be able to produce the number we targeted. We didn’t get the shipment of wafers for the box.”

You say (whether out loud or to yourself), “Oh, sh*t!” What happens next is a bit of a free-for-all.

Out loud you say, “Who’s responsible for this? Why didn’t we know earlier?”

The CFO barks out, “Look, my team did their part. Get it together, Tom.”

Head of sales jumps in, “Damn it, my sales team worked their asses off, and now this happens. They’re going to look like fools to the customers!”

Too often, the blame and banter points to a scapegoat and delays solving the problem. Another common scenario is that team members stay quiet, scatter, and then work harder on their own areas, which leaves the problem and frustration unaddressed.

WHAT CAUSES OH, SH*T! MOMENTS?

We most commonly experience oh, sh*t! moments through efforts of relating to each other and working well together. We want productivity, connection, and collaboration. The path to that end is littered with overwhelming points caused by the gaps and tension between us.

These moments are natural. Teams typically begin the collaborative process inspired and excited about the possibility of working together and successfully accomplishing a shared vision—a better world, a great gadget, an awesome book! And naturally, the end result, gadget or book will turn out better if the process has more than one perspective or genius creating it. Two, three, four, or more people are almost always better than one, especially if they all agree it’s a great vision!

Each is inspired. Each is unique.

Each person contributes his or her distinct piece to this collective journey. It’s no different on your team, whether you are a leader or a member.

You may like your teammates and even love their brands of genius, but at some point you will clash. You will think Kate is crazy because she wants more detail or color. You will want results faster than William, who believes increased speed causes quality to suffer. You try to talk both of them out of their positions and persuade them to move on. Kate will dig in her heels. William will refuse to listen. In response, you either bully your way through or silently suffer, both of which are increasingly uncomfortable because you actually like your teammates. You like your shared vision. You like how your team plans, but it’s not working!

Avoidance, whether through being a bully or keeping quiet, doesn’t work. That little inner voice just gets louder: Oh, sh*t! Oh, sh*t! OH, SH*T!

Let’s say that instead of using your habitual coping options, you stop. You listen. You say to your teammates, “Wait. I’m uncomfortable, nervous, and uncertain. We’re at odds with each other, and I don’t know how to fix it!” You might even express your worry that they will abandon the project altogether.

That’s not usually how it goes in business and on teams. People don’t like to admit discomfort, uncertainty or fear. Leaders, especially, tend to think that admitting these truths out loud shows weakness. They worry they’ll lose their team’s respect. Most businesspeople won’t even acknowledge their vulnerability even to themselves. But as coaches, we have seen that such statements of vulnerability and truth are precisely what lie beneath the surface, even if everything looks good from the outside.

Here’s the root of the problem: people want to be independent and autonomous while also wanting to be relational and collaborative. These are inherently opposing and essential drivers of being human, and they create tremendous tension. It puts us at odds with ourselves and with others, especially within organizations, teams, and significant relationships!

Oh, sh*t! is where you—including the way you see the world, your preferences, approach, style, all of what we call your self definition—meet others on your team. It’s both a big black hole and an amazing opportunity. You must engage that potential to make a quantum leap to collective brilliance. Ask yourself: would you rather settle for mediocrity or risk the discomfort of stepping up to the very edge of a black hole to access the potential of your team?

An oh, sh*t! moment is literally the potential power source for creative solutions. It is a rally cry for shared creativity should you choose to listen and accept the call. Each one of these instances, if handled well, creates the possibility for an innovative, creative, and profitable result.

In our work with hundreds of leaders and their teams, we have run, walked, and stumbled through this path from oh, sh*t! to collective creativity many, many times. Through hard work and vulnerability, these individuals and groups have accessed collaborative genius. We’ll share some of the simple and practical tools we use with our clients so you, too, can access the tremendous potential energy of an oh, sh*t! moment to drive greater alignment, productivity, creativity, and innovation.