Why ME? The beauty of focusing on the ME is that you become fully alive and engaged. When you show up real, open, and honest as a whole person—not just in the safety of your role—your energy inspires your team. You build loyalty and engagement on the team and become a lightning rod for others to bring more of themselves to the game. People want to feel comfortable enough to share their true opinions, feelings, and desires—to show up real.
Being real will create more conflict, both inside you and within the team, because more information, ideas, and opinions come to the table. But as we’ve demonstrated, you want this conflict because the expansion of new views and passion is the raw material and juice that drives creativity on your team. (Don’t worry, we’ll tell you how to work with those different opinions in the next section: ‘The WE.’)
The ME is about being aware of, and taking responsibility for, what is happening inside of you. This goes for the rest of the people on your team as well. And it is about developing the skills to work with your internal landscape.
A common myth says it is better to show up at work, do your job, and then be a real person at home. We disagree. Doing so is compartmentalization, which is ultimately harmful to the mind, body, emotions, and spirit of every person who makes that choice.
While compartmentalizing is human, leaders sometimes take it to the extreme, becoming so focused on their goals that they treat themselves and others around them like objects rather than people. People are not machines. You and your colleagues are living, breathing, creative organisms. You have hearts, minds, souls, and bodies. Stop acting as if you don’t!
In this section, we’ll give you the concepts, practical tools, and tips to handle yourself in those tough oh, sh*t! moments and help transform your team that is either stuck in or avoiding conflict. Do you want to be the type of leader who turns a team from stalled, dysfunctional, and unproductive into one that is innovative, productive, and has a competitive advantage? Read on!