Laugh to death
Amid the craziness that is Key West, one of the country’s most ironic cemeteries sits quietly in the middle of Old Town, surrounded by bars, T-shirt shops, and historic residences. On an island practically drowning in piña coladas and rum runners, one would assume a cemetery is the last place anybody would want to visit; nothing shall get in the way of ruining a beachside bender. But much like the island itself, this graveyard has more panache than most others in the country.
Inside the wrought-iron gates, graves and mausoleums are crammed underneath voluminous red poinciana trees. On account of Key West having a high water table as well as being such a small landmass, underground burial in this tiny cemetery is at a premium. Above-ground vaults are predominant. However unique the raised graves are, who’s buried in them is even more compelling.
Info
Address 701 Passover Lane, Key West, FL 33040, +1 305.292.8177, www.friendsofthekeywestcemetery.com | Hours Daily 7am–6pm in winter, 7am–7pm in summer| Tip Key West is known for its oddities and spookiness almost as much as its frozen alcoholic drinks. If you’re interested in the supernatural realm, there are a number of “ghost tours” available throughout the city.
The deceased range from Confederate soldiers to 19th-century Cuban Revolutionaries; from Ernest Hemingway’s fishing guide to “General” Abe Sawyer, a carnival midget who requested to be buried in a full-sized casket. B. P. Roberts, a local hypochondriac, is buried with the epitaph, “I told you I was sick.” Another nearby gravestone reads, “I’m just resting my eyes.” Roosters strut about the grounds, feasting on coconuts recently fallen from their palms, cracked on impact with the headstones beneath. Iguanas munch on weeds sprouting up from crevices in the stone mausoleums, and snack on mosquitos buzzing by.
The spirit of Key West is best heard from street performers that line Duval Street; it’s best tasted in a frozen drink from Fat Tuesdays; best seen in the faces of those watching the sunset from Mallory Square; best smelled in the Key lime vapors that flow from Kermit’s Key West Lime Shoppe. And it’s best felt in the cemetery, where Key West’s inherent eccentricity eternally rests.
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